Do you always feel that you are not doing well, and are you also cautious when spending time with friends?

Hello.

Your description shows that you lack confidence in yourself. When others accuse you, you don't have the courage to explain yourself. This is a clear sign of low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem can easily lead to a pleasing personality type, as well as emotional sensitivity and suspicion. Without confidence in oneself, one will suppress one's own feelings and needs, be afraid of conflicts with others, and have no sense of worth in one's own performance. One will think of oneself as being very bad and dislike oneself—and this is simply not true!

You're aware of this problem now, which is the first step to making a change. To make a change, you have to be aware of your own feelings and needs. You have to respond to other people's accusations and attacks against us. And you have to be unafraid of conflict because it's inevitable. People will always have conflicts and problems. If we don't have the courage to solve these problems now, we'll always be at the mercy of others, subject to accusations, and unable to resist.

Now it's time to exercise your courage. When others attack or accuse you, you must fight back immediately. If it is not your fault, you must explain it. And you must learn to express your reasonable emotions. When the other person attacks you, you must fight back immediately. Don't suppress your emotions; let them out.

Improve your self-confidence. Learn to see your own strengths. Everyone has strengths. Write them down and describe them in words. See if they are worthy of praise. At the same time, reflect on your shortcomings and correct them.

Pleasing others is a futile exercise. It's a waste of time. Even if you do please them, they'll still treat you badly. So, don't bother trying to please others. Instead, be your own person. Express your feelings and needs. When you encounter conflicts, speak up. Prioritize your feelings and needs. Listen to your inner self. Have your own principles. You'll become more confident.

Wishing you the best.

Hello, questioner! I'm Jia Ao, and I'm here to help!

I can see your problems and confusion on the platform. You say you are afraid of not getting along well with others, not daring to express your views, afraid of making mistakes, and afraid of normal communication with others, which makes you feel very depressed. But I can help! I can show you what to do in the future and how to adjust your mentality.

Let me help you analyze and sort things out!

1. You didn't become bad at interpersonal communication until high school. That means there's hope for you yet! Did you experience something that made you feel bad? Or did you become afraid to express your views because you felt a blow to your self-confidence after entering high school and having to face pressures and challenges in all aspects? You feel inferior deep down, and no matter how suffocated and suppressed you feel, you can't say anything. But you can change that!

2. It's time to get to know yourself! Understanding the root of the problem is the first step to adjusting your negative emotions. Interpersonal relationships are about connecting with people. Before you went to high school, you were probably more willing to communicate and interact with others.

If you really want to excel at handling relationships, you need to adjust your mentality and maintain an ordinary attitude. Speak your mind, but don't say anything you shouldn't. Don't be afraid to say the wrong thing or offend someone. First, try to boldly express your views and ideas. If it's not a matter of principle, don't be too tolerant. Just do your part well. If you do your best and have a clear conscience, you won't be able to please everyone — and that's okay!

3. Get along well with your classmates! As long as you maintain a good attitude, are kind and sincere, everyone will naturally want to get to know you and be close to you. You don't have to be overly cautious. As long as you adjust your mentality, you will find that everything is not so difficult!

4. And when you enter society, you'll want to keep up the good work! Stay positive, and don't let arrogance or impetuosity get in the way. Treat your leaders and colleagues with respect, and give your work your all. You'll find that everything is so simple and relaxing, and you'll be amazed at how quickly your self-confidence will grow. You'll be able to handle anything that comes your way! I hope that you will get better and better in the future and have more and more success!

I really hope my answer helps! I love you all so much, and I'm sending you all lots of love from the world! ?

Hello!

Sometimes, when we can't express ourselves, we might find ourselves complaining about our friends. But it is always...

Sometimes, you might find yourself unable to express yourself fully to your friends. It's okay if you don't want to hurt their feelings! But, if you're feeling afraid, it can be hard to find the words.

It feels suffocating, doesn't it? Sometimes they accuse me, and I don't know what to do.

I feel so suffocated sometimes. It's like there's this invisible barrier in my mind that makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't know how to say it when they accuse me. There's nothing in this world that's truly terrifying. Fear is just an obstacle in your mind. Take action to overcome your fear. Real gold may not be pure gold, and white jade may have minor flaws. We're all imperfect, but we have amazing strengths and advantages. Get rid of the fear, and courage is the best antidote.

What should I do? I'm getting more and more disgusted with myself. Sometimes I want to muster up the courage, but gradually I lose the sense of grievance I had at the time, and I'm left with just sadness. I change my mood by doing something else when I'm in a bad mood. If you want to distract yourself from an unpleasant situation, you can try changing the environment to stimulate your emotions. You could go to a party, enjoy the natural scenery, go hiking in the wilderness, go shopping at a pedestrian street, go to the gym, go to the cinema to watch a comedy, go to a book bar or cafe. You can improve your bad mood by changing your environment. Once the center of excitement is diverted, you will also get rid of your psychological dilemma.

Dear questioner, I want you to know that I'm here for you. I'm sending you a big hug because I can see you're feeling aggrieved, helpless, sad, and angry. You're already on the path to improvement just by coming here to seek help.

You mentioned that after you started high school, you gradually became afraid of making mistakes in relationships, afraid of quarrels, and unable to express complaints, feeling suffocated. I'm here to help!

It's totally normal for you as a teenager to care a lot about what other people think. It's a time when we all need to reach out to others, so it's understandable that you might feel a bit reserved. But it's also a time when we need to speak our minds and express ourselves. If you feel like you're being held back, it can make you feel helpless, suffocated, and depressed.

Speaking of you, sweetie, after going to university, you might find that the situation hasn't changed much and you're still unable to express your anger and emotions. University life is a new stage, and the environment and classmates are all unfamiliar, which makes you, who is already not confident in interpersonal relationships, even less daring to be yourself.

My dear friend, I know it can be tough to be yourself. It's not always easy to express your feelings, speak up when you're angry, stick to your beliefs, and not let gossip get to you. It's totally normal to feel frustrated, sad, resentful, or angry. Many people have been there, and you're not alone.

But growing up is a necessary part of our education. As you can see, the homework from high school can sometimes come back to haunt you in college.

So, if you're feeling stuck, maybe this time you can find the courage to make a different choice.

You really don't need to set yourself too high a bar. Just find a way to make each small thought of yours come true! For example, if you want to wear a certain piece of clothing, don't change it for the sake of someone else's advice. If you want to go to the movies alone, don't change your mind just because you think it's silly to go to the movies alone. And if you want to say something, just say it when you've basically assessed the situation and it's safe to do so, without thinking about whether it's appropriate or perfect.

When you're making a choice, ask yourself: Do you really want to do this? Or are you doing it to meet other people's expectations?

Treat yourself to things that make you feel good. You know, true strength is something you find within.

It's also important to take care of your body, because a healthy body can help you be stronger mentally. Take a closer look at the people and environment around you, and see which ones can help you be yourself. Let them help and support you!

I really hope my answer helps you out! Best of luck!

Hello. I'm happy to answer your question. You seem to have trouble with relationships. You're sad, upset, and have many thoughts and feelings, but you keep them inside. It must have been hard for you! I understand how you feel.

When the questioner is misunderstood, do they hope to defend themselves? Do they want their classmates to understand them?

1. "Since I started high school, I've become afraid of doing the wrong thing in relationships. I'm afraid of arguing and unable to express myself. Sometimes I complain to my friends, but I can't say it out loud. Sometimes they accuse me, and I don't know what to say."

How does the questioner feel about the past? Is she angry?

Is the questioner still angry? What does the questioner think of the classmate's approach?

The questioner should close their eyes, calm themselves, and think back to high school. Look at themselves then and see how they felt when they were blamed. How much pressure did they feel?

Is she afraid of not being liked?

Does the questioner feel pressure when facing accusations or aggression? Did the questioner get accused when they were young? The parents accused the child of something, but the child wanted to explain, but was afraid of more scolding.

If you feel anything, just relax and let it happen. I see you, thank you, I love you. Practice a few more times.

The questioner can write down everything they want to say to themselves and their classmates. They can write about anything they have felt aggrieved about over the years. If there were similar scenes when they were young, they can write about those too. Writing it down a few times will help them feel better.

(2) Afraid of making mistakes. Does that mean I will make mistakes?

I'm afraid of arguing. Why?

Are you afraid that after an argument, your classmates won't play with you? Will it affect the relationship between classmates? Write out the reasons for being afraid.

For example, I get angry at reunions with classmates, or the questioner is afraid to face other people's anger. After writing it out, it became clear.

Is there another way to deal with this fear?

Next time, the questioner can try to communicate with their classmates. Practice slowly, and one day they will be able to overcome this difficulty. In the end, it may feel easier to be honest.

If you encounter new problems, for example, classmates who don't understand you, they will get used to it. They will learn to respect you.

Cheer up!

2. "I'm scared to argue with others. I don't know what to say when someone is wrong. What should I do? I'm ashamed of myself. Sometimes I want to say something, but I lose my nerve. I just feel sad."

I understand the questioner's current mood, but other people's mistakes are their business. We don't interfere with other people, and that is their problem. Let the questioner grow and develop on their own. What the questioner needs to do now is to continue to adjust their mindset.

How to adjust?

When you have problems, talk about how you feel.

Second, you can find meditations on loving yourself and releasing anger on the platform. Meditate every day.

Third, play with friends at school. This way, you have more friends and can get support.

Fourth, go to the playground every afternoon to run, relax, and relieve stress.

I hope this helps.

Hello, question asker!

Hi, I'm Xiao Ai, and I totally get where you're coming from.

"I'm always afraid that I'll do something wrong and start an argument."

"Ming doesn't know what to say when he feels uncomfortable."

"Ming doesn't know what to say when someone else is wrong."

In a nutshell, they're afraid to express their true feelings because...

It's totally normal to be afraid of damaging the relationship with the other person.

I totally get it. I'm the same way. I don't know how to deal with conflict situations either.

They also lack confidence in themselves.

At the same time, you feel a bit aggrieved and conflicted because you long for an equal, harmonious, and comfortable relationship. Even if you express your inner thoughts, your friends won't hate you or leave you, which is great!

Sometimes, that inner pain is actually a good thing! It's a gentle reminder to pay attention to our feelings and motivates us to make changes.

It's important to know if these worries are just thoughts or if they're based on facts.

It's totally normal to be afraid of arguing or making a mistake. We all worry about what will happen if we make a mistake or argue with our friends. But here's the thing: are these just thoughts that keep running through your mind, or are they facts?

When something worrying happens, it's natural to wonder: what's the worst that could happen? And can I handle it if it does?

It's totally normal for people to have conflicts and minor disagreements, even between good friends! A relationship that relies on one party compromising isn't a great recipe for a lasting friendship.

A good relationship goes through a lot of ups and downs. When you try to communicate, you might be surprised at the result. If communication is poor, it could mean that the relationship isn't right for you. But it can also help you figure out if a relationship is good for you.

Of course, there are ways to communicate and express yourself. You can read more books on interpersonal relationships, such as "Nonviolent Communication" and "The Power of Sensitivity," if you'd like!

You've got this! All you need is confidence and courage.

We all have those moments in our lives when we do something that makes us feel really proud and accomplished. It's such a great feeling, isn't it? I'd love to hear about some of those moments for you.

Do more of the things you're good at! With constant positive feedback, you'll find the recipe for confidence.

I truly believe that everyone has something special that shines, and what we really need is to explore and develop our strengths.

Adolescents are the most sensitive and vulnerable. When they are concerned about what others think, there are many people who are in the same boat. We all have to go through growing pains. Don't be discouraged. When you have energy, seek change; when you don't, just let things take their course. Everything will be fine. Take care of yourself.

Hello, my name is Flower, and I'm so happy to be here with you today!

It's totally normal to feel bad in a relationship. We might even be afraid of conflict and stop expressing our feelings. Over time, those bad feelings can really sink into our hearts and we might even start to ignore our own needs. It's a vicious cycle! At the same time, I also see that we want to change the status quo!

But we may not know where to start. Don't worry, we can start by getting to know ourselves.

Have you ever asked yourself why we're afraid of making mistakes?

Maybe it's because we're naturally inclined to do the right thing that we fret over whether our partner will judge us if we make a misstep in a relationship and whether it'll affect our bond. We might even blame ourselves. To avoid taking responsibility, we might be a bit cautious in our actions.

It's natural to think that if we don't do anything wrong, everything will be fine.

But the truth is, relationships are always a two-way street. It's so important to be understanding and work together as friends.

Even if we've done nothing wrong, the direction of this relationship might not be what we expect.

It's totally normal to care what others think in relationships. We might also worry if we think someone's judging us, or if it's a misunderstanding, or if it'll affect the relationship.

? There are so many things we wish we could say, but we don't know how.

It's totally normal to feel judged when we don't agree with someone's behavior. We might worry that if we speak up, it'll hurt their feelings or cause a conflict.

But it's totally understandable that we're sometimes afraid of direct confrontation and the potential rupture of relationships.

It seems that we also have expectations within ourselves. We may think, "If you hold back for a while, the storm will pass and the sky will be clear again." Not complaining about others seems to make us appear more generous, which is a wonderful quality to have!

I wonder if we have such a self-image in our hearts?

It can be so overwhelming when we're accused, can't it?

It's totally normal to feel angry when we're being accused. We might even feel like our mind is blank and we don't know how to express ourselves. It's also normal to feel influenced by the other person's accusations and fall into self-doubt.

Let's try to imagine what we would say if we were in that situation. Perhaps we could say, "I don't agree with this accusation."

After hearing your accusations, I feel a bit aggrieved. I'm sorry you had to accuse me to my face.

I know I was wrong, but I don't want to be blamed. You can totally try it out, combine it with your actual situation, and imagine what emotional states, experiences, feelings, and thoughts there will be. Try to record them in words or writing.

Once we've taken the time to explore our inner concerns, needs, and expectations, it's time to ask ourselves: What can we do?

It's time to adjust your perception of interpersonal relationships!

It's totally normal to be a little cautious when it comes to relationships. We all want to be sure we're making the right choices and that we're being our true selves. But it's also important to remember that there are lots of different factors at play in our relationships with others. We need to be open to new possibilities and to the fact that sometimes, we might need to let go of relationships that aren't serving us in the best way. I also believe that communication is key. Being able to communicate in a sincere and timely manner, and to communicate effectively, can really help us to build strong and healthy relationships.

It would be really helpful to find the pros and cons of the current interpersonal model.

We're not happy with how things are going, especially with how we're doing. Maybe we can also try to find out what the benefits of this performance are?

For example, we can really avoid unnecessary interpersonal conflicts, and we may have a good image in the eyes of others, etc. Every kind of relationship has two sides.

When we see our strengths, we may find we don't dislike our own company as much as we do now!

? Be kind to yourself and act according to your own needs.

It's so important to be aware of what you need and expect in relationships, as well as the different coping strategies you can use and the different responses you may receive. You can even start small! For example, you could tell a friend, "I hope you can affirm me before evaluating me."

Start chatting with your friends and let them know what you're looking for. And don't forget to be kind to yourself!

And remember, everyone makes mistakes. It's okay to not be good at everything!

I'd like to suggest some books that I think you'll really enjoy! They're all about the psychology of human relations, nonviolent communication, how to chat and warm people's hearts, embracing your greatness, and having the courage to be yourself.

You've got this! We can all grow in our relationships over time. Give yourself the time, space, methods, and channels you need to grow.