Do you feel your relationship with your parents or family members is becoming increasingly distant?

Hello, question asker. I can see that you're facing some confusion, and I'm here to support you.

I wonder if I might suggest that you might still be feeling a little stuck in your own childhood.

Perhaps you haven't yet had the chance to distinguish between right and wrong as clearly as you'd like.

When you were a child, you were accustomed to asking your parents for everything.

Perhaps it has recently come to your attention that you have grown up and developed your own independent thinking and ideas.

Perhaps you feel that you shouldn't ask your parents for help anymore.

But perhaps the thing is, if you don't ask, the things you buy might not be to your parents' liking.

I would therefore suggest that you communicate with your parents before making a purchase.

It might be the case that what you want to buy for your parents already exists. If you were to buy it again, it might not be useful to them.

It might be helpful to start sentences with "I" rather than "you" when communicating with your parents.

You might also find it helpful to refer to the methods described in the book, Nonviolent Communication.

I truly hope that the issue you're facing can be resolved in a timely and effective manner.

At this moment, I am only able to think of the aforementioned solution.

I hope my above answer is helpful and inspiring to you, the questioner. I am the answerer, and I study hard every day in the hope that it will be of some use to you.

I would like to extend my best wishes to you and the world at Yixinli.

I hope this finds you well. I just wanted to check in and see how things are going.

Hello! I'll give you a warm hug from afar first!

I'm thrilled to have read your request for help! I'm excited to share some support and help. From your description, I can feel the loss and depression you feel because you are unable to be true to yourself in front of your parents.

This is why it's so important to make the most of your adult years! During your growth process, you were more in a state of being controlled, chosen, and decided for. Your parents didn't allow you to make more choices and decisions on your own. Even if you made a choice and it was the right one, they would still have too much disdain and harsh criticism for you, making you feel very bad and terrible. But now you're an adult, and you can make your own choices!

I'd love to know your thoughts on this!

This part requires you to try to be aware, and it's worth it! You'll gain a new perspective on your relationship with your parents. You'll see that you can follow your own wishes and be true to yourself in front of them, especially when you feel that your relationship with your parents is becoming more distant. What are your true feelings and needs?

Absolutely! You should definitely try to tell your parents about this part of your true feelings.

It's so important to remember that the way parents treat us, especially the unintentional harm, is not something they do intentionally. It's more because they were probably also treated in this way when they were growing up. When they are not aware of the harm they have suffered during their growth, they will bring this part of the harm to their children.

Once you have clearly perceived this part of the trauma, you can try to treat yourself and your parents the way you want to be treated, especially when you become an adult. You are fully capable of following your heart and being yourself! The part of the support you longed for from your parents you can give to yourself, if you so wish. In other words, you will no longer rely on your parents materially or emotionally. Your parents will not be able to give you the emotional support you need, not because they don't want to, but because they simply don't have the ability. But today, as an adult, you can try to learn to treat yourself the way you want to be treated!

I highly recommend you read "Life Without Control by Parents" and "Dialogue with Your Inner Fears"!

I'm Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum! The world and I love you!

Hello, landlord.

If you don't talk to your parents when buying things, you might lose them. If your parents are overbearing, ignore you, don't care about you, and reject your ideas, you might be becoming more independent and have expectations of them. This is very common, but you can improve it through communication.

First, talk to your parents. Tell them why you're unsure and hope they'll support you.

Communication helps you understand each other better and build a closer relationship.

Next, tell your parents why you want to buy something and how you'll manage your money.

This will help them understand you and give you advice.

Respect your parents' opinions and concerns. Find a balance between your personal choices and family affection.

If you can handle the situation on your own, without your parents' advice, it won't harm you.

Honest communication, sharing decisions, and mutual understanding can improve your relationship with your parents and strengthen your family ties. Building good family relationships requires effort from both sides.

It would be beneficial to understand how to truly love others and improve interpersonal relationships.

To truly love others is to wish and give others happiness, and to do so for everyone, the outstanding, the ordinary, including the weak. Psychologically, one should accept and forgive, or let go of the ego and forgive. If there are mistakes or shortcomings, then one should be able to correct them. Everyone has the right to happiness. People can bring each other spiritual comfort and even joy. It is beneficial to love and accept others and oneself, to tolerate shortcomings and deficiencies, and to be kind at heart. That is, it is beneficial to others or society, not to disdain or reject ordinary people, and not to be jealous or intolerant of outstanding people.

If you find that you don't connect with others on a deeper level, it can lead to feelings of negativity and emotional distress. It's important to cultivate a genuine love for others, adapt to different personalities and situations, and align your energy field with a more positive and loving state of mind. This can help you to more easily find and maintain loving relationships and careers. You can also share your thoughts, feelings, and interests with others in real life and online, such as through Douban communities.

It would be beneficial to embrace love and contentment in all aspects of life, including in one's personal relationships and in appreciating the smaller, everyday joys.

It is worth noting that negative energy can affect your health. To keep your body comfortable and healthy, you may wish to consider massaging your whole body. Head massage includes the forehead and face, which also have meridians. You might like to try massaging deeply and firmly with your hands, or you could use a hard massage comb to press the head. It is probably best to avoid pressing your stomach on an empty stomach.

If you find yourself experiencing negative emotions or thoughts, feeling uncomfortable or unhealthy, facing challenges in your interpersonal relationships, or encountering difficulties at work or in your studies, it may be helpful to consider that these issues could be related to a tendency towards self-centeredness or self-absorption, which can result in the accumulation of negative energy. Learning to truly love others, adapt to different people and situations, and align your energy field may offer a way to avoid or reduce negative emotions, resolve conflicts, improve interpersonal relationships, and better navigate the aforementioned challenges. If you feel comfortable doing so, you can also support those around you in growing and changing together.