Do you just wait passively, not knowing what you want, or are you afraid to fight for it?

Hello, dear questioner!

From what you've said, I'm wondering why someone would be reluctant to ask for help and also not want others to do so.

It's important to remember that people like this don't like to express their emotions outwardly. They also don't want to owe others favors. So even if others have done something for them, they will repay them double. This can be a sign of an avoidant personality. It means they don't want to excessively communicate and interact with the outside world. They will trigger an instinctive defense mechanism to protect themselves.

Benjamin Franklin once said something really lovely: "No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main."

As long as we're alive, we'll all have relationships with other people. Dealing with people means facing the realities of the world. If you avoid this and close yourself off, it'll really hold you back from growing as a person.

I can live well on my own, but I also have these wonderful relationships with my family, partner, and friends. Even if I don't want to face it, if I want to develop a good relationship with others, I have to learn to "bother" each other and be there for each other to make the relationship closer. And you know what? Knowing how to "bother" others appropriately also requires some skills, which can be learned from others or some books.

People like this will feel like the help they get from others is a kind of pressure, and they'll repay it double. They're still very inexperienced and sensitive when it comes to social interactions, but deep down, they crave love and to be loved. Even though they'll put themselves last and have a low opinion of themselves, this shows how much they need love, which they hide behind a defensive front.

In general, opening your own door can welcome more sunshine, and "troubling" each other can bring you closer. It's so important to feel each other's sincerity and to actively seek help from others. When we do this, it shows that we trust others, and it also helps us to be trusted in return. This can really strengthen our emotional connection.

I really hope my answer is helpful to you!

Hello! After reading your description, I realized this is a very common situation in reality. There are a few main reasons for this:

1. Worrying that taking the initiative will make you feel bad about yourself.

In any social interaction, it's natural to want to show respect and equality to others. If you take the initiative every time, you might feel a bit uneasy, as if you're afraid of being looked down upon by others. This can make you less likely to choose to take the initiative.

2. They're worried that if they take the initiative, they won't get a corresponding response and they'll feel frustrated.

Sometimes, people are really eager to interact with others. They might like someone and want to spend time with them, or they might just want to pass the time. If the other person is busy and can't respond right away, it can be disappointing. Even if they do respond later, it might not match up to what they were hoping for.

So, they stop thinking about being proactive and choose to be passive instead.

3. I feel a bit bad for having disturbed someone so abruptly.

It's so interesting how things have changed! People are much more impetuous nowadays. You're waiting for someone, and they may be waiting for you too, but there's always a barrier between you. It's because you're wondering if the other person is busy, what they're doing, and so on. So, if you take the initiative to find someone and disturb them, will you embarrass them and feel bad about it?

4. You don't feel the need to do so, and you're happy with the way things are.

It seems like your relationship has always been on the brink of something, but it's also been stable. You're wondering if you should break this balance or stick to it. It might even make things worse, but it's hard to know for sure. Not contacting them is probably the best way to keep things steady.

There's no right or wrong here. It all depends on what you need. If you think you can handle the above, I'm sure you'll go out and have a great time. And if you can't, that's okay too.

We all have our own time and space, and that's a wonderful thing! It gives us the freedom to arrange our lives and plan for the future in our own way.

Wishing you all the best!