Empathetic toward the listener, dependent on familiar strangers

We are all children of love, even if we don't hug.

From your story, I can tell you understand empathy. You know why it happens, what it does, how it makes you feel, and how hard it is to know you're wrong.

I can relate to this panic. I've had a similar experience.

It was the 1990s. I had to go to an unfamiliar place for work. I saw people, but they were strangers. I felt anxious. To pass the time, I listened to the radio. I became addicted to a radio host's voice. It was a paid quiz program. I looked forward to the broadcast every day, competing for the hotline. The phone bill was high.

I felt anxious.

Later, I moved and went back to my usual workstation and people. The open environment helped me relax, and I forgot about being an anchor in minutes.

Since downloading and registering with Yi Xinli, I have joined more than a dozen groups and followed hundreds of users.

Every day, I check it over and over to see if there are new messages, updates, followers, likes, comments, or messages. I'm tired and full of self-doubt.

I also gained self-awareness. Talking to my friends helped me understand myself better. I realized that I need to be seen, noticed, and affirmed, and I need to prove myself.

I did it. I feel at peace.

Empathy is a common feeling. It's not just about one person or thing. It's about all aspects of life.

Go shopping, go out to eat, watch videos, etc. There's nothing to be afraid of.

If it's good for you and you like it, don't worry about what others think. If you're unsure, think about what you really want and what will happen if you don't get it.

What if you stop?

Refer to the three questions from the Chopsticks Party.

1: Is buying cheap a waste of money?

2: Is it a waste of money if I buy it later?

3: Will I regret it if I don't buy this?

You're resourceful. You already know the answer. Step outside, embrace the world, and embrace all things.

You're not alone. The world loves you.

?

The questioner wants to know how to reduce or avoid dependence. I'll start by analyzing the reasons for dependence, then provide a correct understanding of this phenomenon, and finally introduce ways to regulate emotions and get rid of dependence.

1. Reasons for emotional dependence

It is a common phenomenon for a visitor to become emotionally dependent on the listener because of the recognition they have for the listener. This is because she happens to be the opposite sex you have a crush on, and she can give you emotional relief, making you feel like you finally have someone to talk to. You like this feeling and want to keep it, so you make it a habit over time, and dependence is created.

You feel emotionally valued when communicating with her, and your independent spiritual world is relatively empty and lonely. You enjoy the emotional soothing and satisfaction you receive and want more opportunities to communicate, even if it is not professionally necessary.

It's clear from your narrative that you approve of and like the listener. You may have idealized her into the image of an ideal partner, which is why you want to communicate with her more and expect to attract her attention.

2. How to correctly perceive emotional dependence

You know this is wrong. First, the limited spending power causes an economic burden. Second, the unnecessary long phone calls cause psychological exhaustion.

Your words make it clear that you want to break free from this emotional dependence. This emotional dependence is caused by spiritual emptiness.

You have always been emotionally independent, but you long for communication and interaction with others. It's likely that you haven't found the right person to communicate with in real life, so you've transferred this psychological need to the listener. This is a temporary and changeable phenomenon, so there's no need to worry or create psychological pressure.

3. How to overcome psychological dependence

Once you understand the causes of psychological dependence, you can take action to change the situation. Regulate your emotions, transform the sense of dependence into normal needs, and reduce unnecessary interactions.

1. Build a social circle that suits your communication style.

Humans are social animals. Since primitive times, we have needed a certain amount of social interaction. You are relatively independent in character and may be used to solving things yourself in real life.

Your sentence, "Still, familiar strangers, I feel safe," shows that you lack trust in people and are reluctant to share your thoughts.

You need to consider forming a social circle that suits you and learn to share and communicate with others at a "safe distance."

If you're used to being independent in real life, you can also build your own virtual social circle in the "meta-universe." There, you'll have lots of familiar strangers to share your feelings with and satisfy your psychological needs without paying.

2. Develop hobbies.

Cultivating hobbies is the best way to enrich your life. When our lives are full enough, hobbies effectively reduce feelings of emptiness and loneliness. They also regulate our emotions, improving our mental state.

Singing is an excellent way to express inner emotions.

Hobbies can also become your specialty, which will have a positive impact on your social life and quality of life in the future. You don't always need to talk about something to gain comfort from it. Expressing yourself and catharting your emotions can also have a positive effect.

3. Unify purpose and behavior.

Everything you do must have a purpose. Without purpose, your actions are meaningless. The exception is when you want to feel a certain way.

You need to calm down and think about what you really want. Is this counselor someone you can just have an emotional connection with, or is she someone you have a deeper connection with?

You need to decide whether you want to develop a relationship with her in the future or go your separate ways after the session. It's important to understand that from an ethical point of view, a counselor is not allowed to have an emotional attachment to the client during the counseling session.

If you feel like you are going to start a new life after the listening period, you must awaken from the depths of your heart and get rid of unnecessary illusions. Find another counselor to serve you.

Let me be clear: your current problems may seem complicated, but there are no real entanglements or conflicts. As long as you properly regulate your emotions, figure out what you want and plan for the future, and clarify in your heart of hearts what you should do, you can gradually escape from your current state of confusion and let your sense of dependency gradually fade.

The way the questioner narrates is really clear and logical. It's clear that they've thought a lot about the problem. I get the feeling there's a bit of a lack of emotional flow, though.

This topic is all about empathy and how we depend on people, both familiar and unfamiliar, for emotional support.

I'm not sure if this detached, emotionless description is typical for this situation.

I'm not sure if this detached way of describing things is the usual style of the questioner or if it's just a one-off. It could be that the questioner is usually inconsistent in the way they deal with people, which is totally normal!

If it's the former, it could be that the dependence on the listener is related to a long-term closure of the expression of one's inner emotions. If it's the latter, it might be that such dependence makes the questioner feel panic and unconsciously use such expressions to emotionally isolate, which could be a sign.

If it's the former, it could be that the dependence on the listener is related to a long-term suppression of the expression of one's inner emotions. If it's the latter, it might be that such dependence makes the questioner feel panic and unconsciously use such expressions to emotionally isolate, which could be a sign.

I know it can be tough when you're facing the dilemma of being unable to afford financial support, while also feeling that it is not conducive to psychological growth. It can bring about greater psychological pressure and exhaustion. I really hope that the following sharing can clarify this confusion for you and provide more ideas, so that you can find more effective coping strategies.

1. It's always better to let your emotions flow freely than to try to block them.

An emotionally independent personality is held together by unconditional acceptance.

This description shows that the questioner is very independent when it comes to their emotions.

There are two sides to the coin of emotional independence. On the one hand, it's great to be able to make decisions without letting emotions get in the way. But on the other hand, if you notice that your emotions are tied to something, it can feel scary to think that you might not be as independent as you thought.

I'd love to know more about the background story that led the questioner to be so mindful of their emotional independence. Sometimes, independence is the result of a heart that has been let down by expectations of understanding, tolerance, and acceptance.

I'm curious about what might have led the questioner to be so mindful of their emotional independence all along. Sometimes, independence can stem from a heart that has been let down by expectations of understanding, tolerance, and acceptance.

It might also be that after seeing or hearing something, they started to choose independence, whether consciously or unconsciously.

It's so important to remember that the flow of emotions is one of our basic instincts as human beings. As Maslow's classic hierarchy of needs theory shows us, our need for belonging, love, and respect are all deeply ingrained in our nature.

It's so important to give our emotions a chance to flow! If we overemphasize independence, we run the risk of building up a reservoir that eventually bursts.

Similarly, it might be helpful for the questioner to think about whether, in addition to the listening master, they have enough chances to share their feelings and connect with the people around them in their everyday life.

If we make more opportunities for communication in our daily lives, we'll naturally find that we don't need to look for a listening partner as much in specific situations.

The questioner mentioned in the solution that they won't have this for a long time. This is a really interesting part! It makes me wonder: what's stopping you from seeking emotional value from real life and natural states and establishing real interpersonal interactions?

Before you say "no," take a moment to understand what's going on inside you. This will help you see things more clearly and give you more room for discussion.

2. Take a moment to think about whether you're dependent on the individual listener or the identity/role of listening.

I'm not sure if you're asking about dependency on one listener or multiple listeners. If you're open to it, I'd love to help you explore what might be influencing your dependency.

1. We all need a certain listener in our lives. It's only natural to spend a lot of time, energy, and money on this listener.

If you have feelings for a particular person and gain emotional value from it, then the behavioral manifestations and personality traits behind this particular person will help you understand what kind of person you are easily attracted to, and what kind of emotional needs you are fulfilling from such a person.

2. Dependence on the identity/role of the listener

People who like the style of the listener, who crave the feeling of being seen and cared for, and who gain emotional value from communication and emotional independence are held in unconditional acceptance.

I think these are the emotional needs that this identity/role brings you.

If it is the role itself, then it is also possible to achieve it in some mutually supportive groups or some growth groups. Such a format will, on the one hand, greatly reduce costs, and on the other hand, it will seek an inner balance more through self-help and an inward-looking process.

I really hope that what I've shared here will give you a little bit of inspiration. I'm a psychotherapist, but I don't explore human nature. I only care about the human heart. I really wish you well.

Hello, I see your concerns.

I understand you're happy, confused, and a little worried.

You feel dependent on this relationship because you empathize with the counselor and feel understood. You are a little worried.

You're happy to be noticed or responded to, which shows you're more comfortable communicating emotionally.

You feel dependent and worried you might become addicted to this relationship.

Then you become dependent on a stranger because you are far away and they won't tell you what to do. You feel happy.

You're still studying, but you've already spent almost 2,000 yuan on counseling. You know you're becoming more dependent on it.

You valued spirituality and self-awareness as a child.

You want to spend less, and you're right to do so. You're sensible.

How to avoid dependence

Try going outside to meet new people and do new things. Play badminton, basketball, table tennis, or something else.

Maybe you can also think about how real it is. Other people are making money, I'm spending money. What if I run out of money?

Can you focus on schoolwork, applying to schools, or developing social skills?

It might be hard to stop this right away.

Then accept the situation and change slowly.

You can get rid of your dependence by persevering and reducing it gradually.

I know it's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth. I hope it helps. ?

I would like to express my gratitude for being invited to participate in this discussion. I would also like to extend a greeting to the individual who posed the question.

I am a trainee cat and a listener at Yixinli.

Given the rarity of such a situation in the context of counseling relationships, it is pertinent to inquire as to how one might avoid becoming dependent on the listener.

[❓What is instant venting]

In such instances, it is imperative to have a designated outlet for emotional expression. While one may select individuals in their immediate vicinity, it is not always the case that they are able to provide the necessary support and understanding.

Therefore, an instant confidant and listener represents an optimal selection.

In the context of instant confessions, the following benefits are observed: acceptance and understanding, the awareness of a detached observer, and professional technical support. Additionally, it can be considered an absolutely safe place that protects privacy.

[❓Why do you rely on it]

The aforementioned reasons for one's dependence have already been identified: 1) recognition; 2) visibility and attention; 3) emotional value; 4) unconditional acceptance.

In many cases, individuals seek out experiences and relationships that they lack in their daily lives.

This kind of dependence may be precisely because the aforementioned points are all emotions that cannot be experienced in real life. Alternatively, it may be that we place all of our dependence on one person.

Subsequently, an inordinate degree of attention is devoted to TA, accompanied by a concomitant fear of losing it at some future date.

If one were able to identify an individual in the tangible world who would accept them unconditionally, understand them, and engage in meaningful discourse on any topic, would they still find themselves drawn to the online realm?

Another potential explanation is the enigmatic quality of the internet. Despite the presence of an avatar representing each counselor, individuals may still engage in a vast array of imaginative pursuits.

As a result of the repeated act of listening and confiding, the initially two-dimensional image of the subject becomes increasingly detailed and realistic. This process may eventually lead to the formation of the perception that the subject is similar in real life.

[❓How to alleviate this sensation]

It is recommended that the listener be informed of this directly.

Empathy is a relatively common phenomenon in psychological work and represents a significant opportunity.

As previously stated, empathy may be derived from a lack of availability in reality. Therefore, it is essential to identify the emotional needs that can be fulfilled in reality. This can be achieved through a collaborative exploration of the underlying causes with the listener during the subsequent counseling session, while also seeking resources in the tangible world. This approach facilitates a transition from the virtual to the tangible domain.

It is important to allow sufficient time for this process.

The process of breaking up with someone is often fraught with difficulty and can be a recurring phenomenon. It is important to recognize that there is no immediate obligation to force the process to occur in a specific timeframe. A parallel can be drawn between quitting smoking and uninstalling an app. In both cases, the cessation of the activity does not occur abruptly; rather, it is a gradual process.

Some individuals may possess considerable willpower and demonstrate an ability to disengage with minimal effort. However, this may be attributed to the fact that they did not initially invest a significant degree of emotional attachment. The depth of emotional investment is a key factor influencing the time required to achieve detachment.

However, this is an acceptable approach. It would be more beneficial to take things one step at a time. Rather than demanding immediate results, it would be more constructive to set oneself small goals that can be achieved, and then gradually raise the bar and increase the time interval. This will also relieve the financial pressure.

It is advisable to identify an alternative course of action.

In the event of an emotional overload, individuals frequently resort to a means of self-soothing. In your case, this appears to manifest as an immediate release of emotions. It would be beneficial to explore alternative methods of relaxation.

For example, one might consider engaging in activities such as watching a favorite movie, reading a favorite book, going outdoors for a strenuous workout, or participating in a psychological community for a "troll meeting" rather than seeking out a specific listener.

It is also important to enhance one's self-worth.

The fourth method you proposed is to "seek emotional value from real life."

When one has the courage to confront and resolve their emotions, they will require less external assistance.

It is essential to accept oneself fully, embracing one's strengths and weaknesses as integral aspects of one's identity.

☀It is essential to cultivate self-assurance and acknowledge one's capacity to effectively address the matter at hand.

☀Determine your own value and utilize your strengths.

☀It is beneficial to learn from others' strengths and compensate for one's own weaknesses.

It is beneficial to associate with individuals who inspire and motivate you. As the adage states, "Those who associate with black ink will become black, and those who associate with vermilion will become red." Social interactions play a pivotal role in shaping our beliefs and behaviors. Therefore, it is crucial to surround yourself with individuals who exemplify high self-worth.

It is my hope that this analysis will prove useful to you.

Hello! I am peace of mind, and I am so grateful to have met you!

First of all, I want to say that I think it's quite normal to develop a favorable impression of someone on the internet and then become dependent on them. It's just a matter of degree—and it's a great thing!

From your description, it seems that your current situation is beyond your control, and you have become dependent on the other person. But don't worry! There's no need to feel helpless.

You also realize that this is not right and want to change, but you don't know how. I can understand your confusion, anxiety, and helplessness. But don't worry! I'm here to help.

But after all, I am not you, and I'm so excited to support you in finding your own way! I have not experienced what you have experienced, and it would be irresponsible of me to give you blind advice.

However, I am excited to explore with you in the direction of possibly finding an answer!

The description mentions "craving attention." So, is it possible that what you long for inside is attention? It doesn't matter who the person is, what's important is that he or she can see me, care about me, pay attention to me, and give me a sense of security. That's enough, and it's going to be amazing!

When you say you have always been emotionally independent, do you mean that you have never relied on anyone emotionally, including family and friends?

Take your time and think carefully about why you are like this. What do you really want?

Then, find a quiet place where you won't be disturbed, calm your mind, and answer the following questions honestly. I'm excited to hear your answers!

Of course, if you don't want to, don't force yourself. Just follow your heart!

I don't know your exact age, but I can guess from the fact that you already have a part-time job that you must be a university student, right? That's awesome!

1. From childhood to adulthood, what was your relationship like with your parents or other relatives? Did they care about you?

Did you care? Did they have time for you?

2. When you are in pain, sad, helpless, confused, or depressed, can they see it? Can they accept you unconditionally?

3. Did you feel that they cared about you and loved you? Would you be willing to open up to them? Absolutely!

4. Did you have a close friend during your growth process?

5. I'm sure you had great relationships with your classmates at school! Was it the way you wanted it to be?

6. Have you ever felt isolated, marginalized, and painfully helpless? I'm sure you can find a way to turn this around!

7. Have you had any emotional experiences so far? Have you ever liked someone? It's totally normal to have crushes on people!

Or has someone expressed their feelings to you?

8. If so, what was your mood at the time? Were you happy and joyful, or were you apprehensive and unable to believe it?

9. If you are feeling anxious, what is the reason?

10. If not, I bet you're longing for it deep down!

I'm not sure you'll find the answer after answering the above question, but I know you'll find the light that leads you to the answer! In the light, you can see your true self.

Then, give her a big hug and tell her, "Darling, I see you! I love you! I'll always be there for you, watching over you, and supporting you because you deserve it!"

When you see yourself, the answer will become clear!

I'm sending you all my love and best wishes, my dear child. You deserve all the good things in the world!

Hello, topic starter! I just wanted to say thank you so much for inviting me to answer your question. I read your description very carefully and it was so interesting to see all the different topics it touched on. I spent a moment trying to decide where to start...

I'm not sure if this is the same as your current sense of confusion, but the two points you mentioned really stood out to me. Let's talk about them together and I really hope that will help you feel calmer and stop you from "fighting with yourself" between "self-blame" and "dependence." ?

Empathy is often a key step in counseling-is-about-the-visitors-self-growth-how-so-11743.html" target="_blank">growth during counseling.

I have to be honest, I'm a little afraid of communicating with people who use psychological jargon. It can sometimes be a very strong self-defense mechanism that drives people who want to get close away silently. This is just a joke, but you could try going back to the relationship you described with the therapist. If it is indeed empathy, you could ask yourself: who else has given you the same feeling during your growth process?

Because empathy in professional terms represents the process of counseling, the visitor unconsciously "feels" the counselor as an important nurturer in their life because of the establishment of a good sense of trust. This is likely to be the point where self-exploration can go deeper. However, there is still a difference between a listener and formal counseling. It is highly recommended that you start your own formal counseling to understand why you are so "yearning for attachment" but refuse to get close? If you fill in those missing pieces, you won't have to worry about empathy, or you will understand the difference between "friendship" and "attachment." They can coexist or appear independently, but they are definitely not either/or. ??

Oh, you were talking about the cost, were you?

▫️If you were invited to reread your feelings about having spent more than 2,000 yuan on a listening service, what would you feel? We totally get it if you're feeling angry at yourself for continuing to rely on the listening service.

Or maybe you're feeling frustrated because you're having trouble meeting your own needs? Or perhaps you're blaming yourself for having to rely on others?

You can use your awareness to sort things out. There's no need to force yourself to be "rational." Just take a moment to understand yourself. You want others to treat you kindly, with tolerance, understanding, and care. You need this kind of companionship. You're still growing into an independent individual. We hope that the way others treat us kindly, we can also treat ourselves kindly.

From this perspective, how would you take a closer look at your inner worries, rejections, and self-blame?

I'd love to share some different ways of thinking with you, just from these two points. I truly believe that you'll let go of those proper nouns in your head and come to understand yourself. All you need is the courage to truly face yourself.

I just want to say congratulations!

Dear question asker,

I can appreciate your ambivalence and conflict, as well as your clear understanding of yourself and your logical thinking. I admire your awareness of yourself and your willingness to seek help.

You have provided a thoughtful and perceptive account of the reasons behind your dependency and the steps you have taken to address it. It is evident that you possess a keen ability to perceive and reflect on your experiences.

Perhaps we could take a moment to explore, from your own perspective, why you have become dependent.

It's possible that when you were a child, your caregivers didn't fully understand how to accept and respond to you, which may have led you to learn how to shut yourself off from the world over time. When you first meet the listener, you realize that he is a professional, and you feel safe in his presence.

Perhaps because you did not receive enough acceptance and support, you do not accept and support yourself enough either. And because of your sense of self-protection, you may be hesitant to open up to others. In your life, it seems that no one is like this listener, who can completely accept you, recognize you, and pay attention to you.

Your emotional needs can only be met by him, so you see him as your whole world.

It's beneficial that you've connected with this counselor. He provides a space for you to process your emotions and offers a sense of support and stability, which can be energizing. Your sensitivity has also led you to recognize the significant investment of energy, emotion, and resources you've made in your relationship with him.

It might be best not to cut off contact with the listener all at once. You seem to be very dependent on him right now, and suddenly cutting off contact might not be realistic or easy for you to accept. You could perhaps adjust while slowly reducing your dependence on the listener.

Perhaps you could consider reducing the frequency of your sessions and agreeing on a time with your therapist.

It might also be helpful to talk to a counselor about your confusion, which seems to stem from the relationship between you and him. It seems that you have become dependent in this relationship, and now you are just thinking and worrying alone, which he may not be aware of.

Perhaps it would be helpful to talk to him honestly and discuss how to deal with it together.

I believe there may be a few ways to adjust yourself, which you may wish to try to see if they work.

Perhaps the first step would be to accept yourself just as you are, in the same way that a therapist would accept you.

It would be beneficial for you to seek the acceptance of others, as you may lack the inner energy to accept and support yourself fully. When we are weak and small, we can ask others for help, but if we truly wish to grow up and become independent, we must ultimately rely on ourselves.

In the course of your contact with this listener, you may have gained insight into how he accepts you and how he treats you when you are full of emotions. You might find it helpful to learn from his approach and attitude towards you and consider how you could apply it to treat yourself well.

You might also consider using a diary to record your emotions and write down what you would like to say to yourself.

Another option to consider is devoting yourself to other things.

This could be a way to distract yourself and also broaden your spiritual horizons.

You might find it helpful to read some psychology books, as a way of learning more about yourself.

You may wish to consider discovering your interests, spending more time on them, immersing yourself in them, and experiencing the joy of being absorbed.

You might like to consider connecting more with nature. Perhaps you could observe a tree, a flower, or a cloud? It might be helpful to allow nature to act as a healing force for you.

If I might make one more suggestion, it would be to try to open up to other people in a way that feels appropriate to you.

It's understandable that we might be hesitant to open up to others, especially when we're worried about being hurt. It's natural to want to protect ourselves. However, it's also important to remember that opening up can be a rewarding experience. Take a moment to observe those around you. Look for people who seem kind and friendly. Then, consider sharing a little of your innermost feelings with them.

It might be best not to reveal too much at once. Perhaps try it step by step, and don't hold the idea that "if I say it, he must accept it." In other words, while opening yourself up, also prepare your armor.

It would be wise to protect yourself immediately, should you realize that you may be hurt.

I wish you the best!

My name is Haru Aoki, and I would like to express my love for the world.

The questioner is expressing a state that is currently slightly "out of control," but they're doing it in a way that's objective and calm. Whether it's sorting out the performance and reasons, summarizing the current sense of conflict, or listing the efforts that have been tried, they're all showing rational logic and emotional insight. It's also clear that they feel at ease facing themselves honestly, which is wonderful to see! The title also positions one's own situation as [relying on familiar strangers], which is a poetic and clever way of putting it. It's a great example of "faith, understanding, and elegance."

As a platform listener, I am over the moon for this lovely colleague! It's so wonderful to see how much warmth and strength they've brought to another person's life. It's a truly special moment, and I'm sure it's an important step in the career of a wonderful psychological worker.

Psychological listening and psychological counseling have one thing in common, and that is the most essential beauty of the work, which is to allow the visitor to gain a new interpersonal relationship, gain new experiences in this relationship, see a different self, and draw energy from this relationship to re-examine the confusion and scenery in life.

Each of us is special and unique, which makes relationships a bit uncertain and risky. Even if one person in the relationship is trained and prepared, there's still the unknown in the collision of relationships. But this unknown isn't something to worry about. It's a chance to recognize yourself and your worth. I believe that no matter what happens in a relationship, there's no need to be afraid or avoid it. Just take a moment to appreciate the unique, sparkling moment that belongs only to the two of you.

It's time to take a good look at yourself!

So, how can we make the most of this moment of opportunity?

I'd be happy to share some of my understanding with you, and I'd love to hear your thoughts in return!

Reliance: How familiar is it? How unfamiliar is it?

I've always thought that the online environment has made us miss out on a lot of interpersonal information. It's also given us more freedom to advance or retreat at will. While it can make the people we meet seem less three-dimensional, it also gives us the freedom to focus on processing a limited amount of information.

Because all we see of the other person is their ID, profile picture, and a brief introduction, if we start working with them, we can also hear their voice. Apart from that, our knowledge of them is very fragmented and one-sided. It can be said that the dimensions of our understanding of a person are very limited. But because of this limitation, we become more focused on the limited information, which sometimes leads to a deeper understanding of each other. Profound because of its limitations, precious because it is rare.

On the other hand, because we don't fully understand each other, we can learn to progress with greater security. We can attack when advancing or defend when retreating. Because it is limited, it is strange; because it is strange, it is safe; because it is safe, it is relaxed; because it is relaxed, it is even more unrestrained.

In this kind of atmosphere, where there is more in-depth interaction and freedom to act, being supported, understood, empathized with, and accepted is like entering the water in a line. This is a feeling that most people long for, but it's become increasingly rare since we left the womb. It's also a feeling that many people who have risen and fallen in society know well. When our work with the counselor/listener is over and we return to the messy world of firecrackers, we once again appreciate how precious it is to have a profound and free experience with limitations.

It's totally normal to feel this way! The more unfamiliar something is, the more familiar it feels. It's like familiar and unfamiliar feelings and experiences are intertwined, and it can be really hard to fully sort them out. The more you try to find out, the more you get caught up in them.

I totally get it if you're stuck here because you're afraid of the alternative.

I feel that an unreserved attachment to something, someone, or someone is, on the one hand, because that thing, that person, or that someone is so good, and on the other hand, perhaps because something or someone not far away is suffering. We've already chatted about the former at length, so I'd love for us to think more about the latter together.

Take a moment to think about what this dependence has made you lose, destroy, delay, or not have time to deal with. Could it be that you cling to a particular relationship in order to avoid the real world?

That might be the real reason behind it all.

Maybe this is a chance for you to see yourself in a new light.

I'm sure there are other people and things in your past that have made you dependent. Even the addictive experience of having to rely on everything is a very rare experience. If you can look at similar past experiences through and through, you may find your own unique pattern for dealing with problems.

This can be like a mirror to help you understand yourself better and transform your unique patterns into the strength to break new ground.

I truly believe that my decision is the right one.

If there's something you really want to do and everyone around you is against it, there must be a reason for it. Maybe in the short term, it's not the right thing to do, but it's the best decision for you right now.

I think we can all learn to let go of that critical voice inside our heads and trust that we'll do what's best for ourselves.

I often say that I hope to become a spiritual growth coach because I will never be on the track of any visitor's life. I just need to give strength and support, and trust that the other person can combine their own potential with my strength to perform their own wonderful act. Spiritual growth is a lifelong issue, and I believe that the poster can make the decision that is best for themselves. By accumulating energy through this relationship, they will be able to achieve great things without having to rush for instant success.

Hi there! I'm Xiao Yun, a listening coach and psychological answer. I'd love to become your spiritual growth coach!

Hello, host! I'm July, and I'm here to help!

After reading your description, I totally get what you're asking. I'm sending you a big hug in the fourth dimension!

From what you've shared, it seems like you're longing for someone to shower you with unconditional attention and feedback in a timely manner. Since you don't often get this kind of response in real life, when you do get it from your therapist, you want to hold on to it. It's totally understandable! We all crave that kind of connection. But, it can also lead to you becoming overly dependent on your therapist because you transfer too many things and emotions that you don't get in real life to them. This is what you mean by empathy.

I just wanted to say that I think you're doing a great job! It's so good that you're aware of your current situation and have made a comprehensive analysis of it. You've already done so much, and I admire you for that. I know it can be tough, but I just wanted to say that you'll get through this. It might take some time, but you've already taken the first step by recognizing your problems. You're already on your way!

I've also put together a few tips to help you feel better. I really hope they help!

(1) Take it easy and don't rush things. You've got this! Don't put too much pressure on yourself, because that'll only make things harder.

(2) Don't be afraid to try other ways of dealing with things. For example, you could keep a diary, go for a walk, listen to music, or do whatever helps you to feel better. You don't have to go to a counselor every time something happens.

(3) It's okay to have expectations of your listener, but try to lower some of them. Having too many expectations can make you feel bad and might not be good for your relationship.

(4) Looking for emotional value in real life is also a great way to go, but it doesn't work for you right now. From a different perspective, you may be afraid of being rejected by others or that others won't give you what you want, so you may rarely try?

(5) At the end of the day, what you really need is someone who can accept your thoughts and feelings and give you feedback when you need it. Family and friends often don't have the time or patience to do this, which is why you're looking for a listening therapist. You need someone who will listen to you, pay attention to you, and give you feedback when you need it. But remember, the ultimate goal of listening is to help you release some unexpressed content so you can return to real life with a fresh perspective.

(6) I'd love to suggest two books to the host: one is The Courage to Be Hated, and the other is The Courage to Be Happy. Both are excellent reads that I think you'll really enjoy! They're great for helping you understand yourself better.

I love you so much, world! ?

Wishing you all the best!

Hello, I'm a heart coach. I listen to your story.

If you feel your troubles and empathize with the listener, you get what you want. You feel seen, noticed, affirmed, and accepted. This makes you unable to stop. You place order after order until you can no longer afford it.

You can reflect on your own thoughts well. You understand why you have trouble feeling empathy for yourself and you have some ways to try to improve. But you're not getting the results you want.

Knowing and doing are not the same.

Wang Yangming said, "Unity of knowledge and action." Why haven't we achieved this? We just don't know.

Darwin's theory of "survival of the fittest" says that patterns that can adapt to survival will be retained. The brain is built with automated response programs, just like pre-installed software in a computer.

The brain has a "reward center" that makes us like things that help us survive. For example, we like food, work, and babies.

The brain also has an "avoidance mechanism" that makes us feel disgust and nausea.

What we like and dislike is not our choice. It's in our brains.

But behavior is only meaningful when it's in a certain context. So, we want to meet our needs so we have more choices.

A therapist meets your psychological needs by seeing you, affirming you, and accepting you. What other ways can you find to meet your needs?

There are more than three ways to do everything. The four countermeasures in your text are more about suppression and resistance. Think of more ways to discharge.

Secondly, you should focus on yourself, not on what you can get from others.

"Whoever suffers changes," and you can't afford it.

We can get security and emotional support from other people, things, and material things. But if we rely on other people too much, we will be disappointed when they don't support us.

This is also why you keep ordering, uninstalling, and then chatting with it again.

Cultivate your inner self and maintain a good connection with yourself.

Meditation helps you train and improve your ability.

Healing requires mental preparation.

Writing can help you heal yourself. Zhou Liyuan's book, "The Power of Self-Healing through Writing," explains how. It introduces the method of "free writing" and also gives you a lot of professional psychological knowledge. This can help you understand yourself and your parents better.

If you don't start, you'll never arrive.

Treat this like quitting smoking: take action, use methods, and persevere.

I hope this helps. I love you!

Hello! I can see that you are troubled. You have developed a strong dependency on the listener, and you always hope to get emotional value from the other person. You are unable to break free from this dependency through self-control, and this is causing you a lot of distress. You are very distressed and feel very helpless. I can understand how you feel, and I'm here to help!

✍️If you know you are wrong but still do it, there may be a state of compulsion. When you can't see the counselor, you will feel very uneasy and empty. There may be a state of anxiety in there. I suggest that the questioner go to the psychiatric department of a specialist hospital in time to see a professional doctor, do a mental health assessment, and see if there are problems with compulsion and anxiety, as well as the severity. If it has affected your life and work, it is a serious psychological problem that needs to be treated in time. The earlier the treatment, the sooner the recovery. I hope the questioner will pay attention to their physical and mental health.

✍️ I see that you think you have developed an excessive dependence on your listener. This is something you can definitely overcome! I suggest that you make an appointment with your listener and at the same time tell your listener that you have this dependence on him. This will give your listener the chance to take the initiative to control the time of communication with you from his side and take some measures to help you reduce dependent behavior.

I can see that you've formed a strong dependence on external support because you don't yet have a stable sense of self. You lack a sense of self-worth and a sense of self-identification, which is totally normal! The so-called sense of self-identification is the degree to which an individual identifies with themselves. Because you cannot identify with and accept yourself, you feel that you are not good, that you feel terrible, so you always hope to get attention and praise from the listener. But there's no need to worry! You can start to feel good about yourself by simply paying attention to and praising yourself. When you do this, you'll feel valuable and respected.

You have completely handed over your sense of self-worth and emotional support to others. But there is a better way! The right approach is to develop a stable sense of self-acceptance from your own evaluation of yourself.

Embrace yourself!

✍️I can see that this dependence has caused you a lot of trouble in your life and finances. So how do you get rid of it? I have a suggestion for you that I think you'll love: replace a bad behavior with a positive one!

This is an amazing opportunity for you to rebuild some positive and healthy behaviors in real life to replace this kind of unhealthy behavior dependence. For example, by exercising regularly, you can improve your body's oxygen content and accelerate blood flow through aerobic exercise, which will make your nervous system active and more balanced. Exercise can make your emotions more stable, and the comfort of your mind and body will make you feel fulfilled and more calm inside. When you are fulfilled and calm inside, you will not excessively seek dependence on the outside world.

Listeners can help you solve your emotional distress, and they can help you solve any real-life difficulties too! You just have to be willing to take the first step. The purpose of adjusting your mental state through confiding and consulting is to better adapt to the environment, better achieve mental growth, better manage yourself, and improve the satisfaction of real life.

I'm sure the questioner will build a strong will and take real action to get rid of the distress as soon as possible. Best of luck!

Hello, host! Thanks for meeting. I'm Miduo, a listening therapist at Yi Xinli.

You're very organized and logical when you explain your problems or troubles. You're clear about your situation, goals, and requirements, but you have trouble controlling yourself and connecting with the other person.

You also know how much the other person contributes to your life and your own sense of well-being. It's as if you rely on the other person as a crutch, or as a part of your life that you think about from time to time.

When you need this feeling, you can get companionship as long as you pay money! But for various reasons, you want to quit this companionship!

First, you can change teachers. When you need companionship, you don't have to stick with one teacher. You can try a different teacher. Some teachers can support you, some can help you out of trouble, and some can help you grow, rather than becoming a crutch!

Second, look for ways to satisfy yourself. Being able to satisfy yourself is a great source of strength. It's not about relying on others. Whether we're doing counseling or talking things out, what we need is to see our own growth and satisfy ourselves. We shouldn't rely on others or on the relationship of talking things out.

We can find our own satisfaction in a relationship! It might be a failure for you or for the other person, and it might also trouble you both.

This is something you both need to work on together!

Third, there's a big difference between knowing and doing. When we face a problem, it doesn't mean that if you understand it and know it, you can achieve a lot. We all understand or can analyze many things clearly, but when we are in the middle of it, we can't extricate ourselves. At this time, the first thing we have to do is not waver and struggle in the midst of contradictions, because we will fall from one problem to another. What we have to do is perhaps see and accept ourselves, accept our emotions at the moment, and allow ourselves to exist with the problems we have. When we are allowed to be, perhaps we won't have so many problems!

Acceptance without understanding is just empty words, and understanding without acceptance is also just empty words!

I extend to you a 360-degree embrace.

After reading your question, it is evident that you have articulated your thoughts in a clear and systematic manner. You have provided rationale for your actions, delineated the challenges you are facing, and even outlined the solutions you have attempted. You resemble an individual who states, "I am aware of the complete situation, yet I am unable to act."

Indeed, this scenario is quite typical. The initial, and arguably most fundamental, aspect is the listener's capacity to empathize with the individual in need of assistance.

The capacity of the listener to demonstrate listening skills and empathy engenders a sense of safety and inclusion in the visitor, thereby establishing an ideal relationship.

However, this kind of relationship is contingent upon the fulfillment of specific conditions. In essence, it resembles an ivory tower, replete with untruths.

This kind of relationship is more akin to a companion relationship. The counselor-client relationship can be usefully considered as an analogy for this. The counselor-client relationship is a relationship with a fixed therapeutic alliance.

In essence, the objective of the counseling relationship is to equip the client with the ability to apply the insights gained in counseling to their daily lives and effectively address the challenges they encounter. If the client's positive experiences are confined to the counseling relationship and the counseling room, and if their circumstances remain unchanged upon leaving the counseling room, then such counseling can be considered a significant failure.

From the description provided, it appears that at this juncture, the client is reluctant to conclude the counseling session and instead desires to prolong the counseling relationship or the act of listening.

This kind of thinking is not uncommon. It is understandable that one would desire such a warm relationship. However, it is important to recognize that such a relationship cannot be maintained indefinitely. Financial considerations and the potential for dependency are two key factors to consider.

A listening relationship, or a relationship that is artificially set up, is a short-term, time-bound relationship. It is important to establish a definitive end time for such a relationship, just as one would do in psychological counseling. The number of sessions should be clearly defined at the outset, with a reasonable range, such as 10 to 12 sessions.

For example, in Focused Solution Short-Term Therapy, the number of sessions is set at 10 and cannot be increased. The counselor's rationale is that if 10 sessions have not been effective, then the client would be better served by seeking the guidance of a different counselor.

It is therefore recommended that a ceremony or standard be established to mark the conclusion of the listening relationship.

For example, one can establish a monetary limit to be spent on the relationship. Once this limit is reached, no further financial contributions can be made. The number of remaining opportunities can be calculated, and strategies for optimizing their potential can be devised.

Once the allotted funds have been expended, it is appropriate to conclude the relationship.

For example, one could compose a summary and review, recalling the listening experience and drawing conclusions. This review could then be made public and posted to one's social circle or a self-media platform.

In conclusion, it is advisable to make the termination of the listening process public and to inform relevant parties of the cessation of the listening engagement.

Additionally, one should be mindful of deliberate observation. To illustrate, when seeking a listener, it is beneficial to document one's thoughts, circumstances, and desired responses.

It is, of course, possible to seek out the listener in order to release one's emotions; however, it is recommended that the deliberate observations be recorded in writing.

It is, in general, an understandable and typical response to empathize with the listener. However, should one wish to move beyond this comfort zone, it is possible to establish a ritual or standard for concluding the relationship.

In the event that termination is not feasible at the present time, it is imperative to maintain observation with deliberate intent.

It may also be beneficial to seek the guidance of a counselor. Currently, universities have a mandatory requirement for counseling teachers.

The service is typically provided free of charge to students, with a typical allotment of six free consultations. Students may locate a counselor at their respective academic institutions.

I frequently find myself oscillating between two opposing states of mind: a Buddhist-inspired pessimism and an occasional positive outlook. Despite these fluctuations, I maintain a profound love and appreciation for the world.

The system's response may be an invitation, which could be the result of the system's calculations. I am grateful for your willingness to meet with me.

The rationale behind your inquiry is evident. It is possible that you are unaware of the distinctiveness of your approach in soliciting responses from others. It is probable that you will undergo certain transformations in the future. It is crucial to recognize that you possess notable attributes, including intelligence, organization, and a certain degree of tenacity.

Your command of language is noteworthy, and it appears that you have a strong familiarity with the field of psychology. An individual who has a keen ability to explore their inner self through literary resources can undoubtedly advance their understanding. It is recommended that you cultivate a more determined and confident approach.

The listening therapist is able to facilitate your growth and development because you possess a unique and valuable internal universe that is worthy of exploration and understanding.

You were gratified when the listener offered a positive remark, recognizing that a non-judgmental compliment can evoke a sense of warmth. You comprehend that non-judgmental behavior is highly esteemed and valuable, and you can foster positive emotions in your life by allowing them to flourish organically.

Are you willing to attempt to accept your own kind of attention to others with emotional feedback?

The key concerns addressed in the question pertain to the following: attachment patterns under false independence, anxious attachment patterns, avoidant attachment patterns, and the exploration of becoming secure in attachment patterns.

You stated, "It is advisable to seek emotional value in real life, although this may not be readily available," and then proceeded to self-criticize for engaging in this pursuit.

You are the master of your own life. You have made efforts to take care of yourself and try to gain some emotional comfort. Does that have to be defined as "wrong"? It may be perceived as somewhat disheartening by those who appreciate you.

As the ancients posited, one must be rigorous with oneself. One possesses the capacity to reflect on oneself. What is required is the ability to eliminate the sense of shame that is deeply embedded within, as this affects one's capacity to find happiness in life.

From the manner in which the dependency was developed, a pronounced sense of satisfaction and accomplishment was derived from participation in the listening.

It would be beneficial to focus on one's dependency patterns and implement necessary adjustments. It appears that there is a desire to gradually evolve from an anxious dependency to a more secure one.

The act of relying on others in moderation can be perceived as an expression of trust. Similarly, displaying vulnerability in moderation can be regarded as an expression of human warmth.

It is also possible to assist oneself in the selection of circumstances that are conducive to the expression of repressed feelings, such as annoyance, boredom, distress, and sadness, provided that one feels safe.

I previously authored an article on "The Power of Others" on Yixinli, and I have provided the link below for the reader to access the article at their convenience and experience the therapeutic effects conveyed through the written word.

[Recommended] The Power of Others - Psychology Articles - Yixinli (xinli001.com)

Upon entering the real world, one encounters financial burdens. This motivates me to anticipate the advent of shared prosperity in 2050, which would enable Chinese individuals to lead stable and contented lives.

Let us collectively embark on a journey towards the future.

As you indicated, you uninstalled the software and reinstalled it. I similarly uninstalled WeChat and spent three days reading a book in a quiet environment. I found that my brain absorbed new knowledge particularly quickly.

At times, the use of technology may result in the neglect of one's personal rhythm in favor of the global rhythm of efficiency. It is, therefore, acceptable to decelerate.

It is not mechanical things that are required; rather, the flow of love is necessary.

In the event that such assistance is required, the software will remain available, potentially with bug fixes based on user experience suggestions. The individual who has returned will possess a superior understanding of how to leverage technology for success, thereby becoming a person who feels a sense of self-worth and security.

One must cease limiting one's own potential. It is imperative to confront the challenges of life head-on, and to avoid remaining mired in the interpersonal complexities of one's past experiences.

It is my sincere hope that you will find peace.

Good morning, My name is Xing Ying, and I am a licensed psychotherapist.

As a problem script, you have presented the symptoms of dependency, the reasons for dependency, your ambivalence about the current situation, and solutions in a comprehensive and structured manner.

From your introduction, it is evident that your current state exhibits some dependency, deviating from the original intention of helping others. The objective is to help visitors discover their own resources, gain a sense of control over their lives, and cope with the realities of life more powerfully.

As a listener, I have always made it a point to pay close attention to this question and remind myself of it from time to time.

The objective of our assistance is to enable each client to identify their own resources and develop the capacity to address real-life challenges independently. Conversely, excessive dependence is contrary to the fundamental purpose of our work. Given the inherent limitations of listening work, our scope is limited to addressing immediate emotional outbursts and providing respite through techniques such as active listening, empathy, clarification, and analysis.

The first thing to do is to communicate this feeling to your listener.

Have you discussed this situation with your therapist? You may wish to discuss your current confusion with your therapist, explore it together, and make some agreements, such as how often you can answer your phone calls, to solve this problem together.

It would be advisable to seek the assistance of a psychologist in order to ascertain the underlying causes of this dependency.

The following are the reasons why you have become dependent on the listener:

1. You have a positive opinion of the counselor's approach and have participated in the 1V multi-counseling room on numerous occasions. This has led to a gradual familiarity and mutual recognition between you and the counselor.

2. The individual desires to be seen and cared for, yet still feels a sense of security.

3. The listener's response is prompt, and emotional value can be derived from the communication.

4. You have consistently demonstrated emotional independence and have been consistently supported.

However, it is not sufficient to address this issue in isolation. It would be beneficial to examine the underlying causes. For instance,

1. Insufficient fulfillment of dependency needs in early childhood has resulted in the development of insecurity or low self-esteem.

2. The overprotective upbringing style of the original family has resulted in the formation of a dependent personality.

3. Other significant occurrences in your life that have resulted in a sense of helplessness.

It is recommended that you seek the assistance of a professional counselor to gain insight into the underlying causes of your addiction and to address the issue at its core. It should be noted that merely listening to advice is not a comprehensive solution. If your academic commitments are demanding, you may wish to consider the option of online psychological counseling.

From a financial standpoint, while the cost of psychological counseling is higher, it will be more beneficial for you. Additionally, psychological counseling has a defined timeframe, so it won't result in excessive dependency.

Dai Yu's approach to flood control was to dredge the river rather than block it.

It is important to recognize that everyone has a fundamental need for understanding, acceptance, and recognition. If these needs remain unmet, it can lead to feelings of loneliness. To address this, it is essential to understand the underlying causes and find ways to fulfill these needs. Just as in the story of Yu the Great's flood control efforts, the key is to divert the water rather than block it.

The rationale behind an action stems from our intrinsic motivation. If we merely halt the action or persuade ourselves of the rationale, it is tantamount to a block.

1. Uninstall and reinstall the software. 2. Monitor call frequency data in real time.

3. A colleague proposed the use of elastic band therapy. 4. Identify sources of emotional value in real-life situations.

Solutions 1-3 are more akin to "blocking" methods that temporarily suppress the underlying issues, but they do not address the root causes. Our basic human needs remain intact, and these methods only suppress them temporarily.

It is therefore recommended that you use these methods on a temporary basis while also trying to meet your needs in other ways, such as

It is recommended that you extend one-to-one communication with a listener to more places on the platform or offline, such as one-to-many chat rooms and groups with common topics, in order to expand your social circle and find a sense of belonging.

2. Pursue a sense of purpose in your professional life.

Human motivation can be attributed to two primary factors: the desire to avoid pain and the yearning for beauty. The pursuit of a sense of meaning is also a significant motivator.

Take a moment to reflect on the things in your life that bring you a sense of purpose and value. These can be activities you have completed or goals you have set for yourself but have not yet achieved.

Psychology was instrumental in helping me navigate a challenging journey. I later came across a quote that I believe is worth sharing with you:

What was the key factor in your success?

Appreciate the people and things that contribute to your sense of well-being. Can you also provide assistance to others in a way that is mutually beneficial, whether in the present or in the future? In the process, continue to expand your knowledge base and transition from a position of dependence to one of contributing to the greater good. Share your experiences and achievements with others in a manner that aligns with your communication style, whether verbally, in writing, or through other means. Create value and gain a sense of satisfaction.

Your question has received numerous responses, with a variety of suggestions provided. I believe that the mere act of asking the question is significant in and of itself.

Thank you for your consideration.

I would like to conclude by offering my blessing: from seeking assistance to providing assistance to others, there is only one thing to do: recognize your own strengths. I hope you will recognize your own strengths and find more and more things that give you a sense of meaning and value, and devote yourself to them.

I hope that my response has been of assistance to you. Best regards, [Name]

I'm so excited to have been invited to reply and to have met the original poster! I'll even give the original poster a hug first!

You are an emotionally delicate person with a very strong ability to perceive warmth and care from others, which is very worthy of recognition!

? In response to your current confusion, you are empathetic and attached to the listener, and you can't help but pay attention to him. Your colleagues also recognize that this situation needs to be changed, and they are excited to support this new direction financially and psychologically.

? Being aware of this problem shows that you are relatively rational. You just don't know how to change—yet!

Let's start by taking a quick look at the reason for this state. Is it because you're looking for friends with whom you can confide in and talk about anything, or have you always lacked attention and care (perhaps there is, you just haven't seen or realized it)?

I've got a great piece of advice for you! When you're feeling the urge to call the listener and find out what's going on, try doing something else that makes you happy instead. Go get a cup of milk tea, look up at the clouds, have a meal with your family... the possibilities are endless! Think about what makes you happy and go try it first.

? Expand your circle of friends by joining running groups, book clubs, painting associations, etc.! Groups that require you to slow down and focus on one thing are a great way to distract yourself, cultivate hobbies, and meet more interesting people in the real world.

I know this is tough, but you can absolutely start to change little by little!

? Also, I'll tell you a fact, I hope it doesn't hurt you—the listener is just doing his job, and he's doing a great one! He needs to listen, acknowledge, respect, pay attention, and hold all visitors...not just you (I think you're very smart and must have already understood this).

? Also, don't be so hard on yourself. Caring about someone is a beautiful thing. Accept yourself as you are, you're not wrong! You're amazing just the way you are!

I truly believe that you, who are so intelligent, delicate, rational, and clear-thinking, will be able to gradually emerge from this situation and find a way to thrive! I believe that in reality, by expanding your circle of friends, you will surely find people who care about and love each other.

I'm Ji Chu Chang'an (Zhao Shujuan), your friendly neighborhood psychological counselor!

Together, we can love yourself more!

I'm so grateful you trusted me enough to answer this question!

Hey there! I just wanted to check in and see if you mentioned whether you're a college student, a high school student, or something else?

If this matter doesn't really weigh on you, it's great! But now that it's affecting your real life, it'd be good to be a little more careful. It's like a star-struck person who's "lost themselves" in their pursuit.

I really don't think the questioner needs to worry too much, though. It's great that the questioner is now self-aware of this! It shows that you have already tried to separate "yourself and the listener." You are you, he is he, you are not "one person," and your existence is not because of his existence.

I totally get why you can't "completely separate" right now. There's this thing called inertia, and it's hard to fight against it!

"How can you reduce/avoid dependence if you know it's wrong but still do it?" There's no such thing as "wrong" here, just a bit of "excessiveness."

Maybe it's because the questioner feels this is "wrong" that he tries more "drastic means and methods" to "forcibly" separate himself from the listener. What he didn't expect was that the "method of separation" not only didn't help him, but also made the connection between you and the listener stronger.

I really hope the questioner understands a little bit by now.

It would be really helpful for the questioner to let go of their judgment of themselves, and their imagination and worries about "dependence and non-dependence." Everything changes with the passage of time, and you may learn to accept the situation now, which could be more useful than doing something to change the situation.

Make the most of the wonderful sense of worth that the listener gives you. Recognize it, accept it, and go out there and do something you've never had the courage to do before!

I really hope my reply helps you in some way. I'm sending you all my best wishes!

Hello, I'm Vera, and I'm going to talk to you about empathy.

The questioner's analysis of his own empathy is spot on! Just imagine meeting someone who understands you at the first mention, sometimes expressing what you haven't said for you, and is always there for you, always paying attention to you, and treating you like you're the center of the world.

If I were in your shoes, I would regard the therapist as a close friend with whom I can talk about anything. It is this kind of relationship that has caused you some distress.

You believe that empathy from the listener is harmful to growth. Since you have identified this as a problem, you should investigate further. What feelings have you invested in the listener?

You need to identify the needs you are projecting from the emotional feedback of the listener.

The written description evokes feelings of adoration, the need to be noticed, the need to be responded to, and dependence. It is these very feelings that you fear you will become too deeply involved with and not be able to extricate yourself from.

The relationship is abnormal, and you are conflicted. You want to approach, but you are afraid to do so.

Empathy in psychological counseling indicates a strong, trusting relationship between counselor and client. When a stable relationship is established, it allows the counselor to effectively carry out treatment.

The client will undoubtedly be more successful on the road to change.

Your relationship is not just a listening relationship. It involves your life, and that is something the listener should avoid.

You have already begun to find ways to distance yourself, which shows that you know something is wrong. There will be situations where you feel torn, but you can handle it. Let's take a look. You have already begun to distance yourself, but not as quickly or completely as you thought rationally. At this time, don't blame yourself for the parts you haven't been able to do. Believe that as long as you make a little effort, you will be able to completely break away from it one day.

You are making progress. See it.

I am confident that my straightforward answer will be helpful to you. Thank you!

Good morning, host. I hope this message finds you well. My name is Smile, and I am contacting you today to inquire about a potential collaboration. I look forward to hearing back from you soon. Best regards, Smile

After reviewing your description, I have a better understanding of the question you wish to ask. I will proceed with the next steps in the process.

The issue you have outlined is not uncommon. Many individuals have faced similar challenges, albeit with varying degrees of severity. Therefore, it is important to take a step back and recognize your own issues. This will make it easier to identify solutions that align with your specific needs.

From your description, it is evident that you have a comprehensive understanding of the issues you are facing. Your use of psychological terminology and professional self-presentation suggests that you have studied or are familiar with psychology. This enables us, as responders, to provide more effective assistance.

It is not uncommon for individuals to develop a strong sense of empathy for the listener and become highly dependent on them. After all, a significant amount of thought and emotion has been invested in the listener, and these are feelings that the individual did not have before. Consequently, when such feelings are reciprocated, the individual will want to nurture the relationship and avoid causing any harm.

It is also worth noting that the listener may provide the same level of support to other individuals. Whether it is unconditional acceptance or timely feedback, this is a key professional quality. As a result, this kind of profession has emerged. Otherwise, when we encounter psychological problems, we may all turn to a counselor.

If you are seeking assistance in addressing more complex issues, a counselor can be a valuable resource. Counselors are trained to provide a safe and non-judgmental space where you can receive unconditional attention and support, helping you to navigate and cope with the challenges you are currently facing.

A counselor is able to assist in identifying potential issues, which can facilitate the resolution of the primary problem.

Furthermore, I have provided a summary of methods to assist in alleviating the current situation, with the aim of providing additional support.

(1) Consider employing external methods to address your issues, such as maintaining a journal, listening to music, exercising, speaking with a professional, and other strategies to alleviate your emotions.

(2) It is advisable to avoid any attempt at evasion, as this will not address the underlying issue. It should be noted that the objective of a listening therapist or counselor is to assist in the resolution of real-life problems.

(3) It is advisable to encourage yourself with positive suggestions rather than dwelling on negative thoughts.

(4) There will always be someone available to listen to you. Even if there isn't someone right now, you should have confidence that there will be someone in the future. Given the constant changes in our environment, this is a reasonable assumption.

(5) You can enhance your personal growth by engaging in reading and travel, which can facilitate deeper introspection and self-expression.

The world and I extend our best wishes to you.

Please accept my best wishes.