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Even best friends have their doubts. How should we love in friendship?

friendship doubts suspicions introspection envy
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Even best friends have their doubts. How should we love in friendship? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

Even best friends have their doubts and suspicions. The one who thinks too much is the most miserable. She will spend more time thinking about the same thing, but she may not even think about it for the other person.

I originally thought that 8 years was enough for us to get to know someone, but then I realized that you can only see the person she is willing to let you see. I am the one who thinks too much.

Really, I actually envy her quite a bit. She doesn't think about things as much as I do. In a relationship, the person who thinks about things more is the one who suffers more.

Some people may ask why I don't just talk to her.

Because we know each other so well, having been friends for eight years, classmates from primary school to university, friends, best friends, people who chat with each other every day on WeChat without interruption. We basically talk about everything.

But there are some things that I can ask someone I don't know very well, but I really can't say to her. Sometimes I also wonder where our friendship will lead.

We are studying at different universities, and after graduation, we will most likely not be in the same city. I don't know, I can't think about it, I just cherish the present, although sometimes I feel uneasy.

Some questions are too cruel to ponder. Sometimes I think I care about her, but in fact I may only care about how she sees herself.

Suddenly I feel despicable.

Chloe Ann Green Chloe Ann Green A total of 1161 people have been helped

Good day, I hope this message finds you well.

After a thorough review of your inquiry, it has come to my attention that this phenomenon is quite prevalent in everyday life.

Guessing is not exclusive to close friends; it also occurs between lovers and family members.

Furthermore, individuals who engage in excessive thinking are more likely to experience negative emotional states.

I am eager to share my insights with you in the hope of providing you with comfort and inspiration.

1. Your inclination to reflect on matters of value and care is not in itself a negative trait.

The more a relationship is valued, the more susceptible one is to external influence.

Given that you have been with your best friend for eight years, it is understandable that you would care more about and think about things between the two of you.

This can result in feelings of fatigue.

Furthermore, there may be a sense of envy regarding the ease with which others navigate the situation, without the same level of cognitive effort.

Although it is an uncomfortable process, it is precisely the right time for us to get to know ourselves.

It is important to recognise that we all have different ways of responding to situations.

Some individuals are more sensitive, while others may be more straightforward.

We are able to recognize this difference and gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our close associates.

It is possible that our closest colleague has unintentionally caused us some distress, but is unaware of it.

We give the matter considerable thought.

2. You can summarize your primary concerns and identify your core values.

You stated, "At times, I believed I had a genuine concern for her, but I likely only cared about how she viewed me." I commend you for recognizing this discrepancy.

It is not uncommon for individuals to be concerned about how their close associates perceive them or evaluate their performance.

At some point in our lives, we all require external validation that we are valuable and worthy of respect.

While the opinions of ordinary classmates may not be a significant concern, the perception of friends is of paramount importance.

Have there been instances where you have had reservations?

Have you ever considered what you would like to ascertain?

Such doubts can have a detrimental impact on both the individual and the relationship.

By articulating your concerns, you can gain clarity and make constructive changes.

3. The optimal business relationship is one that is based on mutual trust and understanding.

Even in the context of a long-standing relationship, it is not uncommon to experience conflicts and disagreements.

As the relationship matures, there is a tendency to inquire less.

I would like to share the following with you:

Our relationships with others are sometimes a reflection of our relationships with ourselves.

The relationship we have with ourselves is fundamental to our overall well-being and serves as the foundation for all other relationships.

When we can fully accept and love ourselves and are not prone to self-doubt, we are less likely to second-guess our friends.

If we believe in our own worth and value, we will feel more confident and at ease.

Good friends can discuss any topic openly or respect each other's autonomy.

Although you have been in a relationship for eight years, you are currently not together, and you will also interact with new classmates and colleagues. It is normal to have different thoughts and feelings.

By allowing ourselves to adapt and embrace change, we can gain greater comfort and clarity regarding the trajectory of our relationships.

The answer will become evident in time.

Additionally, forming connections with others allows us to gain insights into ourselves and facilitate personal growth.

Forming relationships is a crucial aspect of life.

It is important to recognize that no one operates in a vacuum.

However, you may encounter various challenges when attempting to establish new relationships.

It is to be expected that doubts and worries will arise.

A productive relationship is one that is mutually beneficial. If it is not, please let us know so that we can make the necessary adjustments.

Please take as much time as you need.

Even if the two of you become less intimate in the future, we will continue to value every relationship and every friendship.

It is essential to focus on personal growth.

Love is about giving, but it is also about allowing each other the freedom to make our own decisions.

In a relationship, it is important to remember that a firm grip can result in a loss of control.

It is recommended that you enjoy the present moment and identify a way of getting along that makes you feel comfortable. This may prove to be a more conducive approach to the relationship.

Please disseminate these materials.

If you are interested, you can find the article, "It turns out that understanding is more important than love," here.

Please accept my best wishes for a speedy recovery.

I would like to extend my appreciation to the world and to you.

Helpful to meHelpful to me 824
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Comments

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Terpsichore Jackson The more one knows about different fashion and cultural traditions, the more stylish their thinking.

I can totally relate to feeling this way. It's hard when you think too much and it feels like the other person doesn't, especially after being so close for so long. I guess we all have our own ways of dealing with things. Maybe she's just better at not showing her worries.

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Gary Anderson A person of great learning is a navigator, charting a course through the uncharted waters of different knowledge areas.

It's tough because you're in such a deep friendship but still feel like there's distance. I mean, eight years is a lot of time to share your life with someone, yet there are still parts that remain hidden. Sometimes, the best thing might be to just let go of what you can't control.

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Josiah Thomas Growth is a journey of learning to see the growth that comes from challenging our own beliefs.

I wonder if it's really about her or if it's more about how you see yourself through her eyes. It's an odd feeling, isn't it? When you care so much about what someone else thinks of you, even if they don't seem to worry as much. It's almost like you're carrying the weight for both of you.

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Lucas Anderson The more we grow, the more we understand that growth is a process of self - nurturing.

This kind of thinking can really get you down. I admire her ability to not overthink everything. Maybe it would help to focus on the good times and less on the uncertainties. After all, we can't predict the future, right?

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Charlotte Anderson The more knowledge one accumulates, the more wisdom one can potentially gain.

Sometimes it's scary to think about what happens next, especially when you've been so intertwined for so long. But maybe it's okay not to know. Just living in the moment and enjoying each day could be enough. Even if it means facing some uneasiness.

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