Every day is deeply melancholic, rejecting social interactions, as if confined within a self-imposed prison?

Good day. I perused your query, which addresses social rejection, depression, and other concerns.

From an examination of your text as a whole, it appears that you are still experiencing a state of internal contradiction and emotional distress.

With regard to socialization, it can be argued that humans are, in fact, social beings. As social animals, humans are dependent on social interaction for survival.

If an individual experiences discomfort or distress when engaging in social interactions, they may develop a sense of rejection towards social interaction, which may then manifest as a reluctance to engage in social activities.

In reading your words, I was prompted to recall my own upbringing, during which I exhibited similar symptoms, including an aversion to socializing, a rejection of socializing, and other social phobias. I was once trapped in a self-imposed isolation for many years, during which I was unable to integrate into society, a situation that was also very painful.

Despite a lack of desire to engage in social interactions, the necessity to do so is unavoidable. Past experiences of socialization have often resulted in negative outcomes, further reinforcing the reluctance to engage in social interaction.

The experience of panic, fear, and the urge to cry indicates that the individual is caught up in emotions that they have set limits on themselves. When an individual is caught up in these painful feelings of self-suppression and avoidance for an extended period and falls into them, it can result in a range of uncomfortable physical and mental experiences.

You indicated that avoidance of eye contact and difficulty integrating into groups are also examples of vicious cycles resulting from past cognitive and behavioral patterns.

However, in order to effect a change in this situation, it is first necessary to gain an understanding of oneself, to comprehend the nature of the fears that arise in social contexts, to analyse the thinking and perceptions that underpin emotional avoidance and a reluctance to engage in social interaction, and to gain insight into one's emotional patterns.

In lieu of persistently engaging in self-exclusion, self-struggle, and fear, individuals find themselves ensnared in their own emotions and unable to extricate themselves.

♀It is important to learn to accept oneself and to refrain from resisting one's current situation or one's emotions. One should challenge oneself and strive to overcome one's uncomfortable emotions.

For example, there may be a fear of eye contact and avoidance. In a stressful situation, one may involuntarily fall into this self-excluding emotion as soon as they meet someone, wanting to escape from this feeling, from this social situation, from this person they are eyeing. However, the more one attempts to escape, the more one hides, the more one loses control and is unable to extricate themselves. This is because one wants to reject this uncomfortable feeling of eye contact, which will only make it more painful.

♀It is recommended that you expand your inner comfort zone and challenge yourself gradually.

The underlying cause of suffering is the paucity of positive experiences in social interactions and the lack of adequate support. Additionally, past experiences play a significant role in shaping our present circumstances.

It is therefore recommended that you proceed with courage and venture to experience it. You are at liberty to attempt any activity you desire.

♀The fundamental premise of challenge is to cultivate the capacity to accept and understand oneself, and to develop effective emotional management strategies that are constructive rather than rejecting one's emotions and reality.

For example, one's own inner feelings are the psychological thoughts of "I don't want to socialize and reject socializing," yet one is unable to accept this about oneself. The absence of desire to socialize does not equate to the ability to cease socializing. Frequently, the reality of certain factors does not manifest in the manner one imagines, and it fails to align with one's internal needs.

It is therefore crucial to learn how to accept, support, care for, and motivate oneself while simultaneously challenging oneself.

Only when we cease to be self-contradictory and to engage in constant internal conflict will our inner psyche have the capacity to confront our reality, rather than remaining trapped within it and losing our sense of self.

The final sentence asserts that despite efforts, the endeavor remains futile.

The reason for this is that the individual has not modified their cognitive processes. Their actions continue to align with their established patterns of thought and behavior. Despite the individual's efforts, the desired outcome remains unattainable.

♀ Learning to understand one's inner psychology and achieve psychological equilibrium is of paramount importance. If one does not approve of oneself and is hindered by one's own various negative emotions, it is difficult to imagine that one would possess the requisite strength to socialize and live normally.

One must become the master of one's own soul and establish a sense of self-support.

The state of one's inner harmony is of paramount importance, as it serves as the primary determinant of the external environment.

The aforementioned experiences and insights are the result of my own self-study, and it is my hope that they will prove beneficial to others.

Gain insight into your previous habits, alter your cognitive and behavioral patterns, and develop a new sense of self-reliance. Only then can you gradually begin to extricate yourself from your current situation.