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Facing rich relatives, always feel inferior? !!

family superiority cousin dynamics ugly duckling complex freedom of expression emotional resilience
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Facing rich relatives, always feel inferior? !! By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

I'm a 22-year-old girl, and my parents work at my grandparents' house. It makes me feel like their family is superior to ours.

And I'm a junior. When I was little, I played with my cousin, and I always felt like Cinderella.

I dare not refuse whatever she assigns me to do. It makes me so sad just thinking about it.

And there are the aunts, the great-grandmother's family. They are also wealthier than we are.

I used to own a factory and lived in a luxurious house in the city. Her look of contempt made me feel like an ugly duckling.

I dare not refuse anything the adults tell me to do. Otherwise I will be considered a bad child.

I am annoying, disobedient, and should be excluded from the family. But I should be myself, right?

Am I supposed to be free? Am I not supposed to be afraid of them?

No matter what I do, I am still a member of this family, right? I can freely express my emotions, opinions, and dissatisfaction, right?

Even if they have emotions, it's their business and the sky won't fall, right? I have to believe that no matter what, I am still a beautiful little princess, right?

Katerina Wilson Katerina Wilson A total of 5287 people have been helped

Society uses wealth, money, and power as the criteria for ranking people, whether they're relatives or not. That's because those things are the basis of how we feel. When you think someone is superior to you, and you think you're inferior, it's because you value those things similarly.

Is there something wrong with this way of thinking? From one perspective, I agree that it's realistic and reasonable. After all, who controls the resources determines how work is divided up in society.

Working for a wage is a matter of supply and demand, an economic activity. The trade-offs involved in giving and receiving are a complex calculation for everyone. If you get too caught up in the specifics of right and wrong, you won't be able to reach a unanimous conclusion because you're not taking a side.

You're very sensible and considerate. You'll consider the possibility of your parents being in a difficult situation and choose a way to maintain a good relationship without putting your parents in a dilemma. This is what you want, and you've achieved your original intention.

Of course, no one wants to be condescending or superior to others. It's up to you whether you want to be completely self-centered or carefree, or whether you want to trade off this discomfort as a price. There is no absolute right or wrong.

Is money, power, and wealth the only standard of value? Clearly not. Take emotions, freedom, kindness, and integrity, for example.

We can have different value judgments. If wealth, money, and power aren't the only or the highest standards, and you find another standard where you can overlook the value of others, can you maintain inner freedom and self-respect?

Even if someone else is rich and I work for them, even if they may look down on me, I know that I am just there to earn a salary and improve my work ability. I can't control what others say or do, but at least I can disagree with their condescending attitude. It's not because it makes me uncomfortable, but because I believe that everyone is born equal, that money is only a part of life, and that there are more important things besides money, such as love, freedom, independence, kindness, honesty, and so on. I believe that just knowing money may not necessarily lead to a good life, and that what I believe is more correct.

This means that your heart won't be humble and you won't feel inferior to others. You'll also be less likely to look down on others easily and will have more self-respect and respect for others.

Your feelings are a real thing, but you also need to be aware of some unconscious biases and misunderstandings that come from feeling inferior.

Our words and actions may not be free, but our hearts must be free to choose. In your own castle, you can be a princess or a queen.

I wish you all the best.

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Xeniarah Xeniarah A total of 4216 people have been helped

Good day, my name is Strawberry.

Based on the information provided, it is evident that the questioner is experiencing a range of negative emotions. It would be beneficial to provide some form of emotional support to help alleviate these feelings. Given the circumstances, it is understandable that the questioner feels inferior when in the presence of the wealthy uncle. This is further compounded by the cousin's instructions, which leave the questioner with the impression that refusal is not an option.

I can relate to your experience. When I was a child, my uncle was the first to earn money, and my father went to work for him. During the summer holidays, I visited my uncle's house and my aunt prepared ham and sausages for her children. I had never eaten ham or sausages before, but I was eager to try them. My aunt said that only her children could eat them. In addition to eating, I also had to help with the housework, which my cousins did not have to do. My grandmother informed me that only by helping with the housework would my aunt be willing to let me stay at her house.

It is unclear why the economic disparity leads them to believe that we are inferior. Not only my aunt, but also other relatives, because my uncle's family is wealthier, treat his children better and only purchase them the best items. Upon learning about this kind of differential treatment, I have concluded that I do not want their charity.

All parties involved should be on equal footing.

It is important to remember that regardless of wealth, we are all equal. Each of us has been given a life by God, and we all contribute to society through our work. Whether we are running a business or working for someone else, we are all striving to make a living. It is essential to treat everyone with respect and fairness, regardless of their financial status. If someone is disrespectful and abusive because of their wealth, it may indicate a lack of education and awareness.

It is unnecessary to humiliate ourselves in order to please them, as they do not respect us. In turn, we should not respect them if they do not respect us. People are mutually dependent on each other. People who are too snobbish will not be grateful for what we do, but will take it for granted.

It is recommended that you follow your heart.

The questioner is resentful of the way his relatives treat him, yet he compares himself unfavourably with other relatives. In your opinion, does wealth determine whether one is superior? This idea also makes him feel that he cannot refuse their demands, otherwise he will be isolated or criticised.

It would be prudent to consider the interrelationship between their financial resources and our own. Can we sustain ourselves without their assistance?

It is worth questioning whether they are providing their services free of charge. It seems likely that the answer is no. They are simply offering your father a position. There are other opportunities for your father to earn money. He has already provided his labour and received his reward. This is an appropriate course of action.

Therefore, it is important to follow your heart, decline unreasonable demands when necessary, and believe in your own self-worth.

☀ Adopt a new mindset

In some cases, inferiority is self-inflicted. To change this mentality, I recommend the books You Are the Answer and Hidden Humanity. The original poster may find these books beneficial. To overcome inferiority, it is essential to understand its causes and work to overcome them. This approach allows us to identify a better version of ourselves. There is only one of us, and we are all unique. If we look down on ourselves, it is unlikely that others will respect us.

1. Learn to decline when appropriate. A tendency to please others, coupled with an apprehension of rejection, can result in a lack of assertiveness. The inability to decline can perpetuate a cycle of self-limiting beliefs. To overcome this, it is essential to develop the ability to decline, to refuse, to prioritize one's own needs, and to stand firm in one's decisions.

2. Participate in more group activities: There are many team-building activities these days, and the questioner can participate in more of them. Even if they are with strangers, they can encourage themselves to expand their network. When you take this step, you will make significant progress, as team-building activities require a certain degree of cooperation to be completed. In the process of completion, you also need to be confident in expressing your ideas. If you can express yourself with strangers, you will also be more courageous in front of colleagues.

3. Add a hobby: Hobbies instill confidence because they reflect one's personal interests and strengths. When we can demonstrate confidence through our hobbies, it provides a sense of security and encourages us to take on new challenges.

It may be challenging to identify an optimal version of yourself, but it is essential to have confidence in your abilities, give yourself time to succeed, and persevere in your efforts. Affirm your value and create happiness, and you will achieve your desired outcome. I hope my response is beneficial to the questioner, and I wish you the best.

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Savannah Knight Savannah Knight A total of 7466 people have been helped

Dear questioner, Hello! Lin'er extends a warm greeting to you. From your question, Lin'er has identified two key points. Could you please confirm whether these are the ones?

1. Your relatives are all wealthy, and your father still works for your uncle's company. You want to maintain a positive relationship with your family, so you act obedient, submissive, and humble.

2. You have concerns about the status of your rich relatives and the inequality that may exist between you. You may feel hesitant to express these concerns, hoping to receive affirmation on the platform of "One Psychology." Even if you express your concerns, you still consider yourself a member of the extended family and a "little princess" who deserves to be treated well.

First and foremost, it is important to recognize that you are part of a larger family. As humans, we are social creatures with an inherent need for a sense of belonging, which is a fundamental aspect of our survival.

Your extended family includes many wealthy individuals, which can sometimes make you feel a bit inferior and like you're not keeping up with their pace. This can sometimes lead to feelings of exclusion. It's important to remember that people don't care about a person's past. What matters most is how you contribute to yourself and those around you.

If I might suggest, there are two possible avenues to avoid being excluded. The first is to enhance your own value, and the second is to be of benefit to others. It might be worth considering that simply being careful, obedient, and submissive could potentially lead to feelings of low self-worth and depression.

If I might make a suggestion, here are some pointers on how you can make yourself more valuable:

1. You are 22 years old and in the prime of youth. It would be beneficial to dress well, from makeup and clothing to speech and mannerisms, and strive to be generous and decent. Reading more and better books, exercising, going to bed early and getting up early, and arming yourself well from the inside out could also be helpful.

2. Consider adjusting your mindset to align with the idea that, because of the bond of family affection, people are equal. It's possible that some of the perceived inequality is a result of self-perception. While we may not be as well-off as other extended family members in terms of material wealth, we can still offer them emotional value in exchange.

I believe that when they spend time with you, they will appreciate your generosity and open-mindedness. I am optimistic that the relationship between you will develop on the basis of equality and mutual trust.

3. It might be helpful to communicate your thoughts with your parents. Even if your thoughts make people unhappy, there is room for understanding if they are seen. Being understood by your parents can help you better express yourself.

4. Consider developing your own interests and hobbies. There are many possibilities, including badminton, table tennis, swimming, fitness, yoga, photography, painting, singing, recitation, and handicrafts. Having a variety of interests and hobbies can be beneficial in promoting overall well-being and may help to alleviate feelings of depression.

I believe you can try it.

5. It would be beneficial to make more friends, expand your social circle, and perhaps adjust your expectations of the extended family.

How might one go about being themselves, while also being someone who is useful to others?

How might one go about being themselves, while also being someone who is useful to others?

Firstly, it would be beneficial to gain an understanding of what it means to be yourself. Secondly, it would be helpful to consider what freedom means.

I would like to take a moment to address the phrase "beautiful little princess." Due to space constraints, I will not be able to provide a detailed description here. Instead, I will offer my thoughts based on my personal understanding.

Being yourself often means doing what you want to do, which can be challenging. Many people in the world face difficulties and constraints that make it difficult to live freely. To survive, one must often work hard. This can result in various forms of discomfort.

At this time, it may be helpful to adjust our mentality and accept that life is full of disappointments.

2. While there are many aspects of life that are beyond our control, we can take steps to ensure our hearts are free. The state of being "free from worries" is something many people aspire to, but it can be challenging to achieve.

You are only 22 years old, and it might be a bit too soon to pursue "freedom." Perhaps it would be more realistic to set more attainable goals for yourself. You can take things one step at a time, starting with the things you have to do right now, such as studying, working, and finding a boyfriend (are you in love?).

Perhaps it would be best to avoid such expectations.

3. Every girl has a princess dream, from childhood to adolescence and even throughout their lives.

This is a beautiful wish, and we can keep it deep inside, nourishing our girlish hearts. However, in reality, it may not be necessary to do so, as we can rely on our parents for care and support.

It would be best to avoid making such high demands of our significant others, just as we would not ask our parents to treat us as little princesses.

Lin'er would like to suggest two things you could do to improve your situation. Firstly, you might like to consider lowering your expectations. Secondly, you could work on improving yourself. Finally, Lin'er wishes you peace, health and happiness!

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Comments

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Audrey Sinclair The best way to use time is to waste it productively.

I can totally relate to feeling overshadowed by my cousins and extended family. It's hard when it seems like they have everything going for them. But I'm learning that my worth isn't defined by what others think or have. My journey is unique, and I'm starting to embrace who I am.

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Alcott Davis To grow is to find meaning and purpose in the process of change.

It sounds really tough growing up feeling like you're in the shadow of your relatives. But remember, you're not alone in these feelings. Everyone has their struggles, even if they're not visible on the surface. Maybe it's time to start setting boundaries and expressing your needs more openly.

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Kadin Davis When we choose forgiveness, we choose to let our own light shine.

Sometimes family dynamics can be so complex and painful. It's important to acknowledge those feelings of sadness and resentment. But also, try to focus on your own growth and selfworth. You don't need anyone else's validation to know you're valuable. Take steps toward asserting yourself gently but firmly.

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Sandy Miller The man who fears being conquered is sure of defeat.

The pressure to conform to others' expectations can be overwhelming. Yet, it's crucial to find your voice and stand up for yourself, even if it's scary at first. Start small if you need to, but each step will help you gain confidence. Your emotions are valid, and you deserve to be heard and respected within your family.

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Urania Jackson The role of a teacher is to be a lantern in the dark alleys of ignorance.

Feeling inferior because of material differences is tough, especially when it comes from a young age. But remember, true value lies in character, not possessions. Building selfesteem and recognizing your own strengths can help shift that perspective. You have every right to express yourself and set healthy boundaries with your family members.

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