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By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
Greetings, subject.
From the content of your message, it is evident that you attach considerable importance to the opinions of this friend, and that his words and actions have a significant effect on your emotional state.
One might inquire of the self, "Why is this?"
Is it possible that the familiarity between you and this individual, along with the knowledge of one another's parents, has instilled a sense of competition?
It is possible that you care more about what familiar people think of you.
Do you experience apprehension regarding the perception of others?
His negative comments about you once again evoke the feeling of being denied.
What is the optimal course of action to alter this situation?
In order to address these issues, we may benefit from considering the theory of "issue separation," as proposed by the renowned psychologist Adler.
He posits that the fundamental source of human distress is rooted in interpersonal relationships, which he defines as encompassing all relationships with others.
What is the solution to these difficulties?
For this reason, he proposed the theory of subject-object separation, which entails the ability to differentiate between the affairs and emotions of others and one's own.
The application of this theory to real-life situations can be described as follows:
It is important to note that the opinions and comments expressed by a friend should not be taken at face value. Rather, they should be viewed as a reflection of the individual's own character and treatment of others.
The objective is to focus on the task at hand and perform the required actions.
For example, one can distinguish between the beneficial and non-beneficial advice provided by friends. One can also consider the motives and goals of friends.
In the event that the behavior in question causes discomfort, it is necessary to consider the underlying causes of this discomfort, the nature of the thoughts that arise in response, the emotions experienced, and the individual's inner needs.
One must identify the answer within oneself through these challenging situations. Once one understands their own needs, they can detach from the opinions of others and resume their own lives.
The question then becomes how to respond to such behavior.
I do not believe that concern is warranted in this instance.
In my estimation, the most efficacious course of action would be to ignore and turn a blind eye to him.
We adhere to a set of principles that guide our conduct as individuals and extend sincere treatment to all those in our vicinity. This disposition reflects the quality and cultivation of our character.
This is our capacity to act, and the manner in which others treat us is their concern. Their behavior reflects their character and cultivation, thereby providing a foundation for how we interact with them.
When an individual has a clear sense of direction and focus on self-development, the opinions and actions of others tend to become less significant.
Conversely, when forming new relationships, it is important to exercise discernment.
Should one observe that the individual in question is persistently conveying negative emotions, engaging in self-promotion, and comparing themselves to others, it may be advisable to consider limiting one's interactions with this person.
It is a fundamental tenet of social psychology that friends are supposed to bring us positive energy.
It is also incumbent upon us to serve as beacons for our friends, dispensing illumination and guidance.
In this manner, when confronted with adversity, we will have the support of a reliable source of strength and guidance.
Additionally, one can serve as a source of courage and illumination for others.
As the adage states, the world is not deficient in beauty; rather, there is a dearth of individuals who are able to perceive it.
It is recommended that one allow one's eyes to discover beauty and focus on the people and things that make one feel good, so that one's life is full of sunshine and warmth.
It is my hope that these responses will prove beneficial to the recipient.
I extend my best wishes to you all.
The date is April 15, 2022.
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Comments
I hear you, it's tough when someone close keeps pushing your limits. Sometimes distance is the best answer; maybe subtly spending less time together could ease the pressure.
It sounds like a lot has been bottled up for years. Perhaps finding a moment to express how his words affect you, calmly and clearly, might open a path to understanding between you two.
It's really frustrating when people don't respect your growth. Maybe instead of reacting, focusing on your own journey and achievements can help shield you from his negativity.
Feeling attacked by someone who should be supportive is heartbreaking. It might help to talk to someone neutral about this, like a counselor, to find healthier ways to deal with these interactions.
You're not alone in feeling this way. Confronting him directly might not be the safest option, but surrounding yourself with positive influences can gradually lessen his impact on your emotions.