Feel torn between ending a friendship with someone who is immersed in their own world and having a love-hate relationship?

I have been given the opportunity to respond to the original poster's question and empathize with the frustration and anger that arise from a lack of comprehension from a friend. Initially, I would like to extend a gesture of comfort and understanding.

From the text, it can be discerned that the two of you previously resided with another individual who was your roommate. This individual engaged in flirtatious behavior with other people, which you and Ah Ming experienced together. You assumed that by expressing your frustration to Ah Ming, he would take your side, confront the roommate, and support you. However, instead of acting as a mediator, Ah Ming became the peacemaker, a role you found challenging to accept.

In order to gain insight into the rationale behind my friend Ah Ming's actions, it is necessary to consider a number of potential explanations.

1. As the adage states, "Advise to reconcile, not to part." When it comes to resolving conflicts in a relationship, the majority of Chinese people would prefer to facilitate reconciliation rather than encourage a separation.

It is also conceivable, however, that your repeated expressions were perceived by your friend as indications of unresolved issues that require resolution, which is why Ah Ming proposed reconciliation.

2. Nevertheless, once Ah Ming has formulated the question, "If you two want to make up, what can I do?" or "What will it take to get you to solve the problem yourself?,"

"When one focuses on the matter of "how to arrange a meeting," one can gain a more comprehensive understanding of the situation."

The actions of Ah Ming provoked feelings of anger and confusion. However, it is possible that there are aspects of his conduct that can be viewed from a different perspective.

For example, one might posit that rather than assisting in the resolution of the issue, Ah Ming is, in fact, introducing additional complications. Consequently, when he suggests reconciliation, one might perceive this as irrelevant and become irritated.

It is therefore possible that the issue may lie in the desire for a friend to act as an intermediary.

Upon elucidating the rationale behind your decision to vacate the dormitory, Ah Ming appeared to grasp your perspective. However, he was unable to endorse your sentiments and choices. You may experience a sense of futility in your discourse and a diminution in your confidence in your friend. Does this imply that you still harbor some reservations about your decision?

If you inform Ah Ming of your circumstances in the expectation of securing his assistance, this is tantamount to delegating your obligation to another party. In the event that this individual deems themselves unqualified to assume this responsibility, they will inevitably transfer the burden back to you, akin to the dynamic observed in Tai Chi.

Ah Ming expressed disagreement with your thoughts and also mentioned the roommate's desire to reconcile. From a friend's perspective, he may simply be articulating the roommate's sentiments, just as you may also wish to request that he convey a message on your behalf. It is not necessarily his original idea.

If one wishes to clarify or explain matters with one's roommate, it is advisable to do so oneself, as any miscommunication may result in personal consequences.

In the event of uncertainty regarding the merits of a decision, it is advisable to place trust in one's own judgment. The evaluation of choices is not contingent on a dichotomous assessment of right or wrong; rather, it is a matter of discerning the optimal course of action and adhering to it.

It is my sincere hope that your problem can be properly resolved.

I extend my best wishes to you. I am a psychologist, and I care about you.

Greetings! I am Destruction and Regeneration, the Yi Psychology answerer. I am grateful for this opportunity to connect with you on the Yi Psychology platform. I hope that my words can bring you some sunshine and warmth.

From what you've shared, I can sense your frustration at being unable to fully understand him. It's clear that you still care deeply about your friendship with him, otherwise you wouldn't feel a mix of love and frustration. I want you to know that I'm here for you and I'm sending you a warm hug (づ ●─● )づ.

Secondly, from your description alone, it seems that your friend Ah Ming may have a tendency towards perfectionism when it comes to finding a job. Behind this pursuit of perfection could be an underlying insecurity at work. He may be seeking perfection as a way of gaining the sense of security he desires.

It seems that he believes that the only way to gain a foothold in the company is by acquiring the company's "core technology." There is nothing wrong with this way of thinking, but he is eager for success and may not realize that for the company, "core technology" is highly confidential and that new employees generally cannot ask questions about it casually. The company's management will observe the new employees for a period of time and will only gradually let them access the "core technology" when they are sure that the employee is highly capable and absolutely loyal. In other words, the company also needs a sense of "security."

His actions and words have the unfortunate effect of making the company feel insecure.

Furthermore, I would like to elaborate on the situation with your roommate. It seems that he has been trying to reconcile you two, which is a highly developed part of his brain circuitry or internal communication. This may be a derivative of his lack of a sense of security, as he only trusts himself and not others.

It's possible that he and his roommate have a very good relationship and that he feels he knows his roommate very well. He may believe that it's impossible for them to do that, which could explain his desire to reconcile them. Alternatively, your words may have challenged his existing knowledge, making him feel very insecure and prompting him to defend his existing knowledge. Or perhaps he believes that it's better to reconcile than to remain at odds, which could explain his desire to reconcile you two. This could also be a kind of love from him to you. However, he may not be considering things from your perspective, or perhaps he's judging others based on himself. He may be loving you with what he thinks is love.

? In this regard, I would like to suggest that everyone's life experience is unique, and it is perfectly normal for you not to understand me and for me not to understand you. Similarly, it is perfectly normal for you to understand me and for me to understand you! The reason why Ah Ming has developed such an "internal cycle" or "internal communication" may be related to his upbringing. Perhaps he could tell you about it if he feels comfortable doing so.

As the saying goes, "Do not urge others to be good without having suffered yourself." It's important to remember that we all have different life experiences and that's why it's best not to judge others rashly. Perhaps it would be helpful to take a moment to reflect and then "stop talking."

There are three aspects to consider: our own affairs, the affairs of others, and the affairs of God. It is natural to desire understanding from Ah Ming regarding our thoughts and actions. However, this is a personal matter. Similarly, how Ah Ming responds to us and whether he can "tune in" to us is a personal matter. Additionally, the individuals we encounter are subject to the influence of fate, which is a divine matter.

Perhaps the best course of action would be to mind your own business, respect other people's business, and obey God.

In a word, if you are feeling anxious or suffering, it may be helpful to consider that you have the power to adjust and change, rather than focusing on the other person. It might be beneficial to reflect on the "three things" in a more careful manner.

My dear friend,

It is not possible to wake someone up who is pretending to be asleep. Their world is operating according to their rules, and the action of waking up always needs to be done by themselves. We can only watch and wait for them to wake up.

In your narrative, your conflict with that roommate seems to be a case of two people in parallel universes. You are in your world, panicking at his reactions, while he is in his world, doing and thinking exactly what he wants. Have you ever considered trying to communicate with the person across the glass? The person across the glass is making gestures, but all you can feel is the lips across the glass opening and closing from time to time, vivid and fresh expressions of all kinds. Because you can't hear any words from the other person, your communication with the other person lies in your understanding. At this point, if correct understanding is the prerequisite for ensuring effective communication, otherwise it will be like a megaphone in a variety show, and the result will be completely different from what you originally wanted to express.

I believe this is precisely the situation with your communication with your roommate. As you mentioned, the barrier between you is the shell that isolates your roommate from the outside world. If he is not ready to break out of the shell, any communication will likely remain within his imagination. It is therefore understandable that communication is hindered and that words do not convey the intended meaning.

Everyone has the right to choose their own life, and at the same time, they should respect the choices of others. It's best to get together when you agree, and keep your distance when you don't. It's a good idea to spend your time and energy on people who are worth it, rather than wasting it in vain.

This is both loving yourself and giving others the last respect. After all, in the world of adults, we should be mindful of not imposing our own values on others, even if they are our friends or classmates.

If someone is preoccupied with their own world and this is affecting them in a way that is causing distress to those around them, it may be helpful to consider intervening. If the poster is seeking support with their health, they can explore options such as connecting with a professional. If the situation is only temporary or if it is an emergency, it might be beneficial to give the individual some space.

People tend to grow in a certain order, and there are stages to this process. Some things are best experienced by the person themselves, and cannot be replaced by others.

Good morning, I'm Ling Bo Ruyan. I appreciate the opportunity to meet with you.

From your account, it seems that you feel cheated by your roommate PUA, and you've decided to move out for three months. However, another friend of yours has a different perspective and keeps suggesting that if you're open to reconciliation with the other friend, he'd like to invite you for dinner three times. This has led to some discomfort and frustration on your part.

Perhaps you vented to him because you wanted him to understand you and support you. Instead, he's telling you not to provoke conflict.

It seems that he is unable to fully comprehend your feelings. He is operating from his own perspective and attempting to persuade you based on his own understanding.

It appears that he may not fully comprehend your perspective. It seems that you and he are on different paths, struggling to find common ground.

It can be challenging to interact with someone who may not fully comprehend your feelings and appears to be genuinely trying to facilitate a reconciliation with your friend.

Your friend's advice to reconcile with another friend seems to be in line with traditional Chinese culture, which values reconciliation over breaking up. However, from a psychological perspective, his approach may inadvertently make people feel uncomfortable.

It seems that you feel aggrieved, but you are only telling me the result of the matter here, advising me not to provoke hatred. I'm not sure what the point of such empty persuasion is.

After all, he may not fully comprehend the extent of your distress at being treated in this manner by PUA.

It seems that your friend is unable to empathize with you and is just trying to reconcile you, which is what most people do. Some statistics suggest that more than 90% of people are unable to empathize with others.

Of course, there are exceptions to this, particularly for those who have undergone professional training. Based on your description of your friend's behavior, it seems that he is just an ordinary person.

It's possible that what you're seeing is the result of a lack of consideration for the person you're interacting with.

Humanistic psychology places great value on the individual. It considers the individual to be of primary importance, with things coming second.

It may be helpful to consider that addressing people's feelings and clarifying relationships could potentially facilitate resolution. This is a common suggestion in psychological circles: to prioritize emotional processing before addressing tangible issues.

Perhaps your friend could have handled things differently and taken your feelings into account.

There is also a saying that people cannot reach beyond their own perceptions. From your account, it seems that your friend has been unemployed for six or seven years after graduation. He seems to be seriously immersed in his own world. It's possible that he has been unable to find a job for a long time, or that he has found one but is picky about it. In that case, he might have asked his boss to teach him core skills after only two weeks, which could have led to his dismissal.

It would seem that he was unable to settle into his role for a sufficient period of time before requesting guidance from his superior. It may be that he was not aware that he had not yet demonstrated sufficient proficiency in the requisite skills or that he had not yet been entrusted with the responsibility of mastering them. Nevertheless, he made this request. This is how he perceived the situation.

It could also be seen as his way of handling interpersonal relationships. From his perspective, he feels that helping you reconcile with another roommate is kind and beneficial for you.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether understanding your own perspective on whether you want to make up or not, and whether you want this kind of kindness, would be beneficial.

If you find yourself in a situation where a friend seems enthusiastic but is unable to provide the help you need, you can gently let them know how you feel.

Perhaps it would be helpful to tell him that you are not feeling well with the other roommate and that you don't want to reconcile at this stage. You might find that you are in a better frame of mind to deal with other things when you have taken care of yourself.

Perhaps you could tell him not to worry and thank him for his concern. Regardless of what ultimately transpires, his intentions are at least commendable.

Everyone has their own habits and cognitive limitations when dealing with things. Unfortunately, your friend is causing you trouble at this time.

Perhaps it would be helpful to focus on taking care of yourself first. After all, you are the source of everything.

You are well, and I believe the world can be well too.

I hope this is helpful to you. Please remember that the world and those who love you are there for you.

Hello, question asker. I'm Evan.

Many people have different definitions of friends. Some friends may just have incompatible personalities, or they may be different in nature. A true friend is one who can stand in the other person's shoes and think for the other person. From the questioner's description, we can see that the friendship between the questioner and this friend is relatively long-lasting. This friend can accommodate your emotions, but will not change himself to resolve the conflicts between you?

Know this: true friends are mutual. They help each other, care for each other, and even promote each other. The questioner can examine whether their friends have done this.

Dealing with negative emotions and complaining is not wrong. However, if you avoid problems and refuse to solve them, the conflict will remain. You must reflect carefully on how to deal with this friendship. No one can give you the right answer.

Pat the questioner on the shoulder and give them a little strength. I'll tell you how to tell if a friendship needs to be maintained.

I will give the original poster some advice on how to handle friendship.

Examine this friendship.

There are three types of friends: helpful, ordinary, and false.

Confucius said in the Analects: "There are three friends who are beneficial, and three friends who are harmful. I can assure you that a friend who is straightforward, a friend who is forgiving, and a friend who is knowledgeable are beneficial.

A friend who is fawning, obsequious, and deceitful is harmful. There are three kinds of friends that are beneficial, and three kinds of friends that are harmful.

Make friends with people of integrity, honesty, and knowledge. Avoid flatterers, those who flatter on the surface but slander behind your back, and sweet-talkers.

"

Examine this relationship between yourself and your friends. Consider what your friendship has brought you.

A true friend has many characteristics, in addition to those mentioned in the Analects.

Your friends may not always say what you want to hear, but they'll listen if you're facing difficulties.

You feel relaxed in the company of friends and can be yourself.

Friends will support you.

Friends keep in touch with you all the time, not just when they need something.

Friends share good times and bad.

Your friends care about your health and safety.

Determine whether your friends are worth keeping.

As mentioned above, there are both good and bad friends. You need to determine which kind of friend you have and whether it is worth getting to know them better.

Think about whether this friend wants something from you when you are together. A bad friend will:

They'll talk behind your back.

They're using you to climb a particular social ladder.

They're using you to get close to someone close to you.

They will exploit your resources or use your wisdom.

They want to get some kind of information from you.

They only approach you when they need something.

Test the friendship.

It's important to understand the nature of the relationship between the questioner and his friends. To do this, you can use some simple tests to assess the strength of your friendship. For instance, you can ask him to help you with something.

See if he responds positively or avoids your needs. A true friend will help you when you need it.

If you are friends, your relationship will not be affected, no matter what. Friends enjoy spending time together and having fun together.

If you make a plan with a friend and then change it, how will they react? For example, if you make a plan to go to the movies together but then have something to take care of at the last minute, how will they react? If they think you're being foolish to give up spending time with them for someone else, it's time to rethink the friendship.

Keep your distance.

If your current friend makes you feel uncomfortable, they often demand that you stand up for your own position. In this case, you should consider maintaining a certain distance from them.

If the other person always uses your friendship to ask the questioner to do certain things, the questioner should firmly but politely say, "I'm sorry, but my current energy is mainly focused on work, and I don't want to pay too much attention to other things." The questioner can also tactfully refuse some of the friend's unreasonable requests.

If your current relationship with him makes the OP uncomfortable, the OP can and should minimize contact with him. This is to give yourself some space and avoid getting involved in unnecessary conflicts with him, which will put pressure on the OP. Do not ignore each other completely or refrain from speaking to each other.

This is very immature and will undoubtedly cause your fake friends to get angry at you and spread rumors in front of your mutual friends.

You can't read minds, but you can choose your friends. Spend more time with the happy, relaxed, tolerant people in your life. It's up to you whether you keep your current friends. It's not easy to start a friendship, but it's even harder to end one.

You must only break off relations with a hypocrite.

I am confident that my answer will be helpful.

Both parties are reluctant to concede to each other's respective positions and views, and both are self-centered. The crux of the matter is not merely a lack of rapport, but rather the influence of ego. To begin with, it is essential to overcome self-centeredness, respect others, prioritize their needs, set an example that will influence others, and avoid the urge to force acceptance.

Demonstrate your ability to embrace diverse perspectives, empathize with others, and comprehend their emotions.

You are a valuable resource in this situation. Your ability to listen to both sides carefully is an asset. If he is not interested in serving as a peacemaker, we can simply move forward with our own plans. If you wish to maintain a friendship, we can do so. If not, we can respect your decision.

If you want to solve the problem, you must do so yourself. If you are unable to resolve the issue and are suffering as a result, there is a simple solution. Identify the key to the problem and then communicate and resolve it. The most basic way to get along with other people is to be sincere. Do not keep problems inside; allow resentment to deepen. Communication is the most basic way to solve problems, so you can play a very good role in resolving problems.

I empathize with your role as a mediator. Given that both parties are friends, the only recourse is to effect change within ourselves.

If you have the financial resources, you can relocate independently, which would be an optimal solution to the problem.

Let us first identify the positive aspects of our colleagues and then address the negative aspects. This approach can also help us resolve the issue at hand.

Hello!

I am a heart exploration coach. Learning is the treasure of the body.

From your description, I can tell you're hesitating, in pain, and confused.

I won't go into the details of your problems with your friends, but I will give you three pieces of advice:

Ask yourself what you're struggling with.

You said Ah Ming didn't think about how you feel. He even tried to get you back together with the person who did PUA on you. You're angry. So, why are you still struggling with this?

Is it because you've been friends for a long time and it'd be sad to break up? Or is it because you have expectations of him? Think about why you're so torn.

Once you know why, you can find the right solution and make a rational choice.

Second, think about the reasons you have found.

This will help you understand yourself and reality better.

To look at it rationally, you need to:

A good friend understands, supports, and cares about your feelings.

If you've been friends for a long time and it would be a shame to end it, he should think about how you feel.

You can change the status quo.

Once you take action, your feelings will change. If you're torn because you think he might change, have a good chat with him. Use your own power to change your feelings. See your own power and the power of time.

Focus on yourself and think about how to feel better and make a good choice.

When you think about why you're in this situation, you'll know what to do. At this point, you should focus on yourself.

For example, you can have a calm chat with Ah Ming. Tell him your feelings and needs. See how he responds.

If he still behaves this way and refuses to change, tell yourself he doesn't consider you a friend. You don't need to care about this friendship. A good friendship is one that understands and supports each other. This hint may help you make a decision.

If you're still stuck because you're afraid you'll lose friends, tell yourself that some friends are only temporary. You can still make new friends. This may also help you feel more confident.

Look at your strengths, see yourself as a good person, and feel better. You can do something to improve things.

Taking action helps you feel better.

I hope this helps. Click "Find a coach to interpret – online conversation" at the bottom to talk to me one-on-one.

Good morning, I am writing in response to your recent query.

From the title of your question, I can appreciate the distress you are currently experiencing. I also understand the strength of your friendship with this individual. The decision you are facing is undoubtedly challenging, and the depth of your feelings for him is significant. I am here to support you through this process.

You are already immersed in the pain of being pua'd by your roommate, and you desperately need someone to rescue you and save you from your predicament. It can be said that you have gone to your friend, who is also your roommate, many times with high hopes to talk about it, but you never expected that every time you would not get the result you expected. Not only did they not extinguish the fire in your heart and come to your rescue in your time of suffering, but they had the tendency to push you even further into the fire. This caused you to have the impression that you could not see a glimmer of hope to break free from your predicament, and instead you felt that the more you struggled, the deeper you would fall into the abyss. It is really too hard. Just thinking about it, I can empathize with your feeling of suffocation and your pain. I hug you again!

However, we must acknowledge the challenges that life has presented and address them head-on. In such circumstances, it is commendable that you have sought out scientific assistance.

As we have met due to this issue, I will present my views based on my own understanding.

First, let's review your current situation.

You are currently experiencing a dual burden. You have been pua by your roommate for over a year, unable to find a solution, and your friendship with this individual is facing a crisis. This situation is causing significant distress.

Let us now turn our attention to your feelings in the present situation.

You are currently experiencing significant distress due to the prolonged nature of your roommate's actions.

You attempted to resolve the issue, but you were unprepared for the emotional rollercoaster that resulted from seeking a mutual friend to discuss it with. The solution led to feelings of disappointment and a complex emotional state, comprising elements of love and hate.

Next, we will identify and prioritize your inner needs.

Let us examine the sentence in question:

Despite my clear displeasure and repeated objections, Ah Ming consistently displays understanding and agreement. However, he subsequently downplays the issue, suggesting it is inconsequential and a mere jest.

It is imperative that Ah Ming aligns with your views and comprehends your statements. It is crucial that Ah Ming resolves the dispute between you and your roommate.

From the title of your question, I believe you may also need to provide a rationale for the dissolution of your relationship with Armin in order to resolve your dilemma.

Ultimately, we must determine the best course of action to address the issue and make our request.

Based on the aforementioned information, it is evident that our primary objective is to resolve the issue of harmonious coexistence with our roommate. We have identified a source of frustration in his PUA approach. It is crucial to maintain focus on our initial objective.

It is now time to establish this goal. We have discovered that our friend is unable to solve the problem as we had hoped. This means that we must now consider alternative solutions. I understand that you believe he is the best person for the job because you are classmates. However, if you feel he is not the right person for the role, we can simply replace him. We must not allow our frustration at not having him do what we want to result in us breaking off all contact with him. We now have mixed feelings about him, which is an obstacle to us working together effectively.

I believe that if we are unable to identify a more suitable candidate to address the issue, we should take a moment to reflect on his remarks. When you are invited to dinner, it is often an indication that a resolution is being sought. In this case, it seems that a solution is needed. I would like to request that you provide me with your thoughts on how this matter should be handled. For instance, I would like you to clarify your stance on the issue. It is essential that you apologize to me, and that you explain your expectations. In other words, you must clearly state your desired outcome and express your opinion. Do you intend to attend the dinner?

I am curious as to why he requested that you both have dinner together. It seems that this was also an attempt to resolve the conflict between you.

I encourage you to consider giving it a try.

These are just my thoughts. I suggest you take the time to read the book "Nonviolent Communication." It may help you identify a more effective solution.

I hope you will soon be able to move on from this situation and enjoy the benefits of a more positive outlook on life.

I would like to take this opportunity to extend my warmest regards to you and the world at large.

Hello, I'm Heidi.

Reading your question made me think of my own experience five years ago. I was really good friends with someone, but we decided to stop seeing each other because we had different ideas about relationships. I felt really sad and irritable for about a year after that.

From what you've told me, it's clear you value relationships and have a good group of friends. It seems like there's been a misunderstanding or something that's upset you during your time together. Here are a couple of tips that might help:

It's important to set and maintain clear boundaries.

When people get close, they have subtle needs for each other, especially when they're under the same roof. It's important to be aware of your own boundaries and those of others.

Here's another way to look at it: While it's true that the roommate's repeated advances have a lot to do with who they are as a person, have you given the roommate opportunities without realizing it in your daily interactions? This is a very important point. Once you realize it, you'll naturally make improvements in the relationship and gradually avoid this situation.

It's important to be open and honest about your feelings.

A solid friendship is built on a deep connection. Many people think that if they don't say anything, the other person will understand. But we're all different, and the more you get to know each other, the more you'll realize this. Friends who keep inviting you are probably well-intentioned. If you don't want to go, tell them your thoughts and feelings clearly and from the heart. Don't keep them to yourself or be ambiguous. This way, your friends won't understand your true thoughts and keep doing and saying things their own way. Over time, this will really hurt you and damage the relationship.

I didn't understand this at first, but I do now. It's normal for friends to be there for you for a while, and you'll find your own way. First, take care of your own heart, and then let things happen naturally. Both sides will be comfortable in the end.

I hope you find some comfort here.

First of all, it seems that your friend Ah Ming may be experiencing some emotional challenges. If you feel close to him and believe he would benefit from guidance, you could gently suggest he consider seeking professional counseling. It's important to support him in navigating these issues, as they could potentially impact his ability to function independently and contribute to society.

I'm sure you'd want to help him avoid being in this situation.

I think we've covered enough about other people's business. Perhaps we could turn our attention to your emotions?

I can sense your sense of powerlessness. It seems that you don't get along well with your roommate, which has led to feelings of being PUA'd. When you confided in Ah Ming, he didn't seem to fully understand your distress and kept trying to get you to be friends with his roommate again. You also know from Ah Ming's perspective that he lives in his own world and may not always fully comprehend the emotions of others, so he may not fully grasp your feelings. Additionally, he believes he's doing a good deed and that the world has more friends and more ways, which is a noble perspective.

It might be challenging to expect empathy from Ming unless his situation changes. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide how to move forward.

I must admit I'm a little surprised. Given the circumstances, I'm curious as to why you're still so invested in maintaining a friendship with Ah Ming, particularly when his words and actions seem to be at odds with your new desires. It's possible that the bond between you is merely verbal, rather than truly heartfelt.

Otherwise, why would he keep trying to reconcile you with your ex-roommate and become friends again, regardless of your feelings? It's possible that the issue may not be Ah Ming's, but rather something you need to work through. Don't you have other classmates and friends to hang out with?

I would gently suggest that you consider stepping out of this circle of friends you and Ming have formed and making more new friends. You may find that not everyone is like your former roommate. When you have gained your own energy, you may even be able to turn around and help Ming, right?

It might be helpful to consider that you have been roommates for a year and that your feelings of being "PUA'd" may have arisen over this period. It's possible that your roommate's words and actions may have caused you discomfort at times. Given that you are roommates, it's important to maintain a mutual respect. Could it be that your feelings of being "PUA'd" are based on your own perception, or could they be the result of actions or words from your roommate?

Perhaps this question could be clarified. If the roommate did it on purpose, it might be best to consider whether this is someone you can be friends with. If the roommate did it unintentionally and it's just your own perception, it might be helpful to seek psychological counseling to gain a better understanding of why you feel this way.

Similarly, your relationship with Ah Ming also gives me the impression that you may have some difficulties in your interpersonal relationships. Perhaps you could consider adjusting your mentality or receiving formal psychological counseling to address this issue. You are still young and have a long life ahead of you. It is important to maintain a sense of physical and mental well-being in order to gain a sense of value in this society.

If this problem is not resolved, it may have an impact on future work and family relationships. Therefore, I encourage you to work hard.

After reading the text carefully, I feel that the questioner's biggest complaint (or perhaps it could be described as hatred) towards his friend Ah Ming is probably that he seems to ignore, or not value, your emotions and feelings, especially his unclear attitude towards the roommate you mentioned who used to pursue you romantically.

He has been unemployed for approximately six or seven years since graduating. It seems that he is deeply immersed in his own world, either struggling to find a job for an extended period or expressing dissatisfaction with his current role and requesting that his supervisor provide training in essential skills after just two weeks. Unfortunately, this has resulted in his dismissal from the position.

Subsequently, he came to view the matter as relatively unimportant and assumed I was joking.

Even after I moved out three months ago, Ming still often proposed that the three of us get together, whether intentionally or not, regardless of how I felt. He said that the other person really missed me and wanted to be friends again.

He also advised me to avoid expressing negative emotions and to seek resolution through other means. Similarly, when I express frustration with my roommate Pua, he offers his assistance in fostering reconciliation.

Later, I discovered that Ah Ming would often suggest a gathering of the three of us, which I found somewhat frustrating. It seemed as though there were unresolved conflicts that needed to be addressed.

The above may be evidence provided by the questioner that believes Ah Ming is "immersed" in his own world, and is also the reason why the questioner has "hatred" for Ah Ming. It would be interesting to understand where the questioner's "love" for Ah Ming comes from.

Could I perhaps inquire as to why the questioner has a "love" for Ah Ming?

I wonder if I might ask why the questioner expects Ah Ming to help resolve their conflict with someone else when it seems that Ah Ming himself has not yet tried to resolve our conflict and simply tells us to make up. What role does Ah Ming play in your life?

From the evidence above, it seems that Ah Ming has shown tolerance and patience towards the questioner, much like a mother would. He has listened to the questioner's concerns and helped them resolve conflicts with others. This is in stark contrast to the person who was picky about finding a job and made their leader teach them core skills.

It is possible that this is the reason why the questioner feels a certain level of animosity towards Ah Ming, yet also has some reservations about leaving his romantic interest.

From the text, it seems that Ah Ming is "immersed in his own world" at work, while the questioner is somewhat "immersed in his own world" emotionally. It appears that Ah Ming is trying to help you resolve your conflict with your roommate by arranging a get-together.

I truly believe that my response will be of assistance to you. I wish you the best.

Hello, I'm Wuyu!

Firstly, it's so important to remember that everyone is an independent individual and will do what benefits them.

I think you'll find that Amin's behaviour also follows this logic.

1. Ah Ming, you and the other person are friends, and he really enjoys spending time with both of you! That's why he invited you and the other person to dinner.

2. He really cares about you all and wants to help you repair your relationship with the other person.

3. Being pua is something that happened to you, but not to Ah Ming. It's okay! It's not your fault. It's just something that happened to you, and it's not something Ah Ming has experienced. So, he can't really relate to you and can't feel the same way as you do.

4. Ah Ming's work is going through a rough patch, which is totally his own problem and has nothing to do with you. But he'd really love your help!

Secondly, I'd like to address the question of whether or not you should break off with this friend.

From what you've told me, I have a few thoughts.

1. It seems like you feel that Ah Ming might not be able to empathize with you, which is totally understandable! Empathy is really important, especially when it comes to rebuking your roommate for hitting on you.

2. You think that Ah Ming always fails and is not a success, and you'd really love to be friends with someone who is more successful.

3. You're not a big fan of hanging out with Ah Ming, and you're not too keen on having dinner together as a group.

If these three points are really important to you, I'd still recommend ending the relationship and becoming friends with the person who meets these needs. This can really help you feel happier about life!

I really hope my answer helps! Warm regards,

Greetings, questioner.

If one friend employs the PUA approach, but the other is unable to empathize with you, would you still choose to spend time with both of them? It would be beneficial to address this issue collectively.

From an objective standpoint, it is evident that your friend's intention is to assist you in resolving your conflicts with your roommate. His actions are driven by a genuine desire to help. When your roommate engaged in PUA, it is likely that he was attempting to communicate with you and provide comfort.

However, his approach did not meet your needs with empathy, which resulted in feelings of anger.

It is important to recognize that, with the exception of professionals such as counselors who are able to empathize with their clients, the majority of individuals in life are unable to empathize and can only reason. This understanding can facilitate a more tolerant approach towards others.

It is understandable that he does not "share" your feelings, given that he is not involved in the situation. Furthermore, the roommate has not PUA him, so it is not surprising that he will not comment on the roommate's behavior.

Should the desire to maintain harmonious relations with one's roommates persist, the counsel of a friend may prove beneficial. This individual could spearhead the organization of a gathering for the three of you, during which the conflict could be resolved through direct communication, emotional expression, and the articulation of needs.

This approach may facilitate recognition of problematic behaviors, facilitate agreement, and enable continued cohabitation.

In the event that the questioner feels that they can no longer cohabitate with their roommate, and if their financial situation allows, they may wish to consider renting a separate apartment. This would enable them to maintain a general friendship with their former roommate, while avoiding the potential for conflict.

It is possible that at some point in the future, you may come to view the events that occurred at the outset as insignificant.

In the event of contemplating a breakup, it is advisable to consider whether the individual in question has ever exhibited any positive attributes. It is not uncommon for individuals to overlook the positive qualities of others, particularly when faced with negative experiences. This approach can help to prevent impulsive decisions and unnecessary regret.

It is recommended that you take a moment to calm down and review the situation from the perspective of the other person. This may help you to identify a solution.

The aforementioned suggestions are intended as a point of reference only.

It is our sincere hope that these suggestions will prove beneficial. Sincerely,

The questioner's emotional state is characterized by a conflict and confusion that is evident in their statements. Despite the friend's numerous shortcomings and the fact that the friend made statements that the questioner found difficult to comprehend and uncomfortable, the friend also listened to and understood the questioner when the questioner expressed their emotions and accepted the questioner's confessions. This demonstrated to the questioner a sufficient level of warmth and care from the friend. In light of such a friend, it is understandable that the questioner is uncertain about how to proceed and whether to terminate the relationship.

This internal conflict and confusion also indicates that the questioner experiences a profound sense of powerlessness and helplessness. However, to achieve a more nuanced understanding of one's own needs and desires, it is essential to consciously acknowledge and accept this need for powerlessness and helplessness.

In reality, many individuals harbor the belief that if only they could exclude the negative aspects of their lives, they would be able to achieve a state of complete satisfaction. However, this is not a realistic expectation. Even in situations where there is a preponderance of positive elements, there will inevitably be some degree of adversity. This is analogous to the presence of shadows accompanying the sun.

The questioner may perceive the friend's understanding and care for him as a desirable quality. Alternatively, he may subconsciously feel that the friend should only interact with him in this manner and avoid socializing with others. Additionally, the friend's suggestion to reconcile with another friend who caused the questioner discomfort further complicates the questioner's understanding of the friend's intentions.

It is this author's opinion that the questioner should take the initiative to express his confused thoughts and feelings to his friend. He should inquire as to the reason for this behavior and listen to his friend's thoughts. This will not affect the friendship between the two, and it will also help the questioner to understand his own feelings, thus alleviating his confusion. Whether the two of them can continue to get along and be friends in the future depends on whether the questioner and the other person's wishes are in line. If both are willing to continue getting along, they can naturally continue to do so.