Feel unworthy of love, have a low sense of inner worth, and lack self-confidence

I feel unworthy of love, and when others treat me a little better, I want to repay them. I long for intimacy, but I don't know how to establish it properly, so I choose to avoid problems. I feel like I'm avoiding attachment and I'm a bit of a pleasing personality. I especially like cuddling, which may be related to my childhood experiences. My mother always rejected my needs. For example, if I wanted to cuddle with her, she would tell me to stop doing useless things and tell her about the interesting things that happened at school. She said, "What's the use of all this? Can't you just study hard? What do you even remember?" From then on, I never told her anything about me.

My needs have always been ignored and rejected. My mother is a very controlling person. She is the kind of parent who says that I must do it right now as soon as she says it. She also nags a lot, talking about one thing for a day or even a few days, just repeating and repeating it over and over again. She always tells me that there is no money at home, and then she talks a lot of pressure and says to me that I lack you what, which makes me feel guilty every time I spend a penny. If you don't have money, go make money. I think about what's the use of having no money every day at home. I advise her to be optimistic, but she says that the facts are there, so of course I can't help thinking about it.

I don't want to become like her at all, but I have somehow inherited her pessimism and desire for control, and I feel very sad.