Feeling a suffocating sense of nowhere to escape, how do idealists cope?

Hello, question asker!

After reading your description, I was immediately reminded of the pandemic in Shanghai this year. One word to describe it: idealistic but realistic. I can also see that you have a kind heart, and I want to give you a warm hug!

You're welcome.

First, look outward. You say, "Over the past few years, working at the grassroots level, I have faced absurd and helpless realities. Coupled with the recent pandemic, I have been forced to lose my freedom.

You feel powerless in life and have experienced the anxiety caused by the epidemic. You have the heart, but you need to gain the strength! This is real life!

Second, you say: At the beginning of the year, depression returned, and you fought against it with gritted teeth. You overcame it and made up your mind to face your true self and be a thorough idealist. Discovering the darkness and ugliness of this society, the irrationality and helplessness really crushed me a bit.

All living beings suffer, but those in power and with money can treat others like grass or ants. I am not weak and powerless. I will not allow myself to feel oppressed. I will help others.

I want to say one thing very clearly: It's not your fault! It really isn't your fault!

The voice of "I can't" is like a tight band that makes people unable to move. The more you move, the harder it gets. It seems to have great power, but you are very weak and powerless.

People will fight against the voice of "I can't do it," and this process of confrontation can also be very painful.

Then, you need to break out of the "I can't" mode of laziness.

There are two perspectives: one is the perspective of doing things, and the other is the perspective of communicating with people.

1. Check your goals and take action.

Take action and you'll encounter the truth. Don't let your poor perception lead you into an infinite negative cycle.

2. Go out and interact with people who have positive energy.

You need to meet a real person to get out of the duel. Communicating with people, especially those with positive energy, is beneficial. Meeting and communicating with people in person is best because it puts you in the middle of the situation, rather than living in a fantasy.

In the end, you have the power to limit yourself. Accept your own sense of powerlessness and tell yourself: you've done a great job!

Be at peace with yourself! Remember, being kind is fine, but you also need to be sharp!

And you must set your own bottom line!

Ideals and reality don't always align.

The question is very realistic and shows a certain helplessness.

We go into society with a lot of enthusiasm, get a great education, and have a positive outlook. We believe that helping others is a pleasure and that giving back to society is the best way to achieve our goals.

But the reality is that it's not that simple.

The harsh reality of society is often difficult to fathom.

We're social animals, and we can't escape society.

But as long as we're human, we'll have desires, and we'll want to satisfy them.

How is it satisfied? When you have power, how many people can stay calm?

When people have wealth, most of them choose to let it grow.

So, how do you do it? You trade your wealth for power, and then let power continue to multiply your wealth.

There are so many ways to do it that it's hard to imagine, but they can do anything.

There isn't really a clear line between good and evil.

There's a very realistic way of looking at things.

When we're in that situation, our perspective is limited to that situation.

When we're in the lower class, we tend to curse the upper class.

When we're in the upper class, we tend to look down on the lower class again.

Where you stand, you represent who you're speaking for.

No matter what the situation, there's always a hierarchy, and those at the top often look down on those at the bottom with pity or contempt.

It's just that we're in this position now, so we're resentful of those at the top.

If you're interested, you can check out the Stanford Prison Experiment.

While many have questioned the authenticity of this experiment, it is, in fact, quite realistic. It reveals a great deal about human nature.

The most hypocritical thing in the world is that we all think we're equal, regardless of power, wealth, or intelligence.

Our ability to effect change is limited. We can't make sweeping changes or have a significant impact.

But we can make a difference, even if it's just a little at a time. Having a clear conscience is better than anything else.

Let's do this.

Hello, questioner.

From what you've said, I can tell you're not happy with how things are in the real world. It's tough to keep up the optimism when things seem so unfair. I get it. I admire your ambition and I empathize with your frustration at not being able to achieve your goals.

Yes, this is the reality of society. It's a harsh reality with darkness and ugliness, irrationality and unfairness, and social hierarchies that are difficult for the bottom rung to climb above.

But that's just human nature. Since the evolution of mankind, there's been competition between individuals and groups for food, power, territory, and so on. This has evolved into modern times, where people fight for power and profit in all kinds of ways. Since ancient times, in the past, present, and future, and in all countries, this is the case.

Some people compete for survival, while others compete for desire. The underclass struggles for survival, while the upper class uses power for desire.

In the face of deceit and treachery, many people are left without a defense or power.

If it's so bad, how did the human race make it through and how did society get to where it is today? This is the other side of society, the positive side of human kindness and goodness, and a social reality full of the radiance of humanity, which has driven society as a whole forward.

To understand people and society, it's important to consider these two levels. It's helpful to view them in a dialectical manner.

As regular people, it takes wisdom to find our place in this world, which is sometimes beautiful and sometimes ugly. Here are a few things to share.

I think it's helpful to look at the world in two ways.

The world is a mix of light and dark, beauty and ugliness. It's not all light and beauty, nor all darkness and ugliness. Society has its own dynamic balance of change.

If it's too far off, the social system will be out of whack. Something else will come along to balance it out.

Take a dualistic view of human nature.

From a human perspective—in other words, the essence of humanity—there's no distinction between good and evil. All human characteristics are born with us, but in getting along with others, some characteristics are loved and some are hated. This is influenced by culture.

Everyone has these two sides. The things you like will be more obvious, while the things you dislike will be suppressed and hidden. It may seem like a good thing, but it's just being suppressed and not visible. When the situation changes, the suppressed dark side will come into play, and it may be able to save someone's life in danger.

It's important to accept the other side of human nature and understand it in a comprehensive way.

Be okay with who you are.

It's okay to accept that you're not perfect. We all have our flaws. You might be selfish at times, or feel jealousy, dissatisfaction, resentment, anger, or hatred. It's also okay to accept that not all love between family members is love, or that there are flaws in family relationships, friendships, and love. And it's okay to accept your own limitations.

Be tolerant of others.

If you can accept yourself, you can be more tolerant of others. We're all different, and our personalities have been shaped by different upbringings, intelligence, and genetics. It's a reasonable way to look at things.

Ideal and reality

An ideal is a plan that needs to be tested and adjusted in reality. If you always keep reality testing in mind, you'll end up with a mature and healthy result.

Live your life with a positive outlook, understand what's going on around you, and make the most of it.

Greetings, host.

The landlord's words convey a sense of helplessness and a discrepancy between ideals and reality, which can lead to internal disharmony.

Each individual possesses an idealized concept of a home, yet the reality is that unexpected circumstances arise continuously.

I am uncertain as to the most appropriate means of dealing with this issue or of finding a solution. Ideals are plentiful, but reality is stark. How might we achieve a balance between ideals and reality?

This is, in fact, a problem that is experienced by all individuals.

1. Adhere to the reality that is currently present.

The question of my origin remains unresolved, but I am at least able to alter my own thoughts.

Regardless of one's background, it is essential to accept one's origins and current circumstances.

One might posit that modifying one's own thoughts could potentially lead to a more favorable outcome in one's life.

2. Adhere to your personal identity.

One source of suffering is the tendency to compare oneself with others, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy and a relentless pursuit of success and wealth.

One should endeavor to do what one is capable of doing, to pursue one's own desires, to treat oneself with kindness, and to achieve a state of inner tranquility.

Furthermore, this approach allows for a more nuanced understanding of the relationship between ideals and reality.

3. Treat Others with Enthusiasm

It is often assumed that others will be enthusiastic about us, but it is less common to consider whether we treat others with enthusiasm.

What form of treatment do we desire? How do we treat others first?

Fourthly, one must alter one's mindset and alter oneself.

The external world is a reflection of the internal state of the individual. The nobility of the human condition lies in

It is imperative to recognize the reality of life and to maintain a positive outlook despite its inherent challenges.

It is therefore imperative to alter one's mindset and self-perception. Regardless of how unappealing the external environment may appear to be,

It is imperative to remain calm and composed, as this will facilitate a favorable outcome.

Ultimately, I extend my best wishes to the landlord for a joyous and fulfilling life.

I am Warm June, and I extend my love and affection to the world.

Hello, landlord! I'm Mai Zi.

Let me give you a big, warm hug first!

I just wanted to take a moment to express my understanding and gratitude to you.

Context:

From what you've told me, it's clear that you're a grassroots worker who wants to do your best and treat people fairly. You hope that you can do your part to live up to this job and the beliefs behind it, but the reality is tough and sometimes cruel. It's no wonder you're hurting. I'm here for you.

In this complex world, people are increasingly blaming the violation of rules on so-called "humanity," "worldliness," and "reality." It's so inspiring to see that you've maintained your initial heart and faith when you first started working. Thank you so much! It's because of people like you who have faith and an initial heart that our grassroots work has strength and our people have hope.

I think these questions of yours can be attributed to a conflict between your "ideal self" and your "real self" in your "real environment."

1. Ideal self: the way you see yourself as a person.

I think you probably hope that the world is a beautiful, simple, and just place; that everyone gets paid for their work and does things according to the rules; and that every grassroots worker keeps their beliefs and ideals in mind, and is not tempted or suppressed by power and money. I can see why you'd want that!

You also hope that you can treat every job and every person fairly and justly, without letting power and money get in the way. You hope you can live up to your original aspirations and ideals, too!

2. Let's take a look at the reality of the situation. The world is a society made up of individuals and groups, and there are always intricate connections between people and between societies. This connection gives rise to the so-called "human relations."

In a society full of social conventions, it's so important to remember that we're all in this together. We're always bound by social rules, but that doesn't mean we can't support each other along the way!

3. Reality self: this is the set of characteristics that you or other people think you actually possess.

In a society of "human relations and worldly wisdom," we need to deal with all kinds of "social rules." We can either accept these rules, learn from them, or be strong enough to change them.

The "ideal self" meets the "real situation" and sometimes finds it a bit of a challenge to align with the "real self."

You know, it's so important to stick to your ideal self, trying to live up to your ideals and treat every ordinary person who works hard fairly. But, we all have limited abilities, don't we?

It can be really tough to accept the reality of who you are and the ways of the world. It's hard to get past the hurdles in your own mind. This can make you feel really unhappy and depressed. It can feel like there's no way out.

I really hope the following words of Mencius will be of some help to you, my dear friend.

Mencius once said something really wise: "When you are poor, cultivate yourself; when you are successful, benefit the world." What he meant is that when you're not doing so well, you should focus on improving your character. And when you're successful, you should work hard to make the world a better place.

At the end of the day, we might only be able to achieve something in a small field, or we might be ordinary and mediocre.

When we're just ordinary people, we can only help so many people, and we may only be able to sponsor one child. But when we've made some small achievements, we can help more people!

However, no matter what, we can't take care of everyone and everything in the world. The world is so big, and we're just a small part of it.

We're only human, not superhuman.

I think we can all try to accept our limited abilities, don't you?

Why not try to accept this imperfect world?

With your idealism, your limited abilities, warm words, and gentle gaze, you have warmed the heart of an injured soul in this world.

You are the light in this wounded soul's world.

I really hope these words can bring you some warmth!

I love you, world!

Hello, question asker. I'm Evan.

From the questioner's own description, it is clear that the questioner is looking for himself and sometimes even feels depressed, unable to face this society. Mencius said, "When you are poor, you should work on improving yourself; when you are successful, you should contribute to the world." We must accept that we cannot change the status quo, but we can change ourselves. Before that, I believe it is crucial to know yourself.

Pat the questioner on the shoulder and give them a little strength. Know yourself, recognize yourself, and accept yourself. This is a process of self-exploration.

If you lack a clear understanding of yourself or your understanding of yourself is one-dimensional during your growth process, you will experience a multitude of thoughts that you are unable to accept or feel unfamiliar with.

Since the question was asked on a platform, and we have gone into too much detail here about the question, I will give the questioner a little advice on how to get to know themselves:

Know yourself.

We must learn to recognize ourselves, and the poster should also recognize his own strengths and qualities. Different personalities have different strengths and weaknesses. Understand your strengths and the qualities you value. This will help you strike a balance when trying to understand your own shortcomings. If you can't identify your strengths clearly, write them down on a piece of paper.

I like to think.

I have a strong sense of justice.

I explore myself.

I observe others and learn from their strengths.

I am kind and considerate of others.

You don't have to list all your strengths at once. If you can't think of any right now, that's fine. Just write them down as you remember them. This is a way to get to know yourself.

List your achievements.

We can and will identify and recognize our strengths by listing our achievements from childhood to the present. Achievements can be the help you have given to others, personal achievements, or the difficulties you have overcome. They do not have to be recognized or praised by the public to be considered achievements.

The questioner said that he had depression before. This is your chance to show him how you got through those difficult times. Pay more attention to yourself and find these past achievements. This will help you recognize yourself and gain a more specific understanding of your strengths.

For example:

I learned to ride a bike when I was 10 years old, no instructions needed.

I overcame depression through treatment.

During the pandemic, I had to find myself while also trying to make ends meet. I did it. I overcame this difficult time. I understand my strengths now. I'm in a good place.

List your achievements that are worthy of recognition. This will help the questioner understand their strengths.

Identify and acknowledge your own negative views of yourself.

It's important to recognize how you see yourself. We all have unsatisfactory aspects of ourselves that we're harsh on. Sometimes, we even develop destructive emotions to rebel against a stagnant life. The questioner lashes out at those in high positions, playing with ordinary people and resenting them. He blames himself for his own incompetence.

These thoughts may have developed from the original family, or they may be innate in your character. There's no room for being too harsh on yourself for these negative points. They will only form negative views and even groundless harsh criticisms. Apart from plunging the questioner into the negative emotions of self-doubt, it is not helpful in other ways.

Feelings of shame and disappointment are not conducive to self-acceptance. The questioner should list negative views of themselves, such as:

I work in a menial job.

I have weak abilities.

I am idealistic.

I refuse to accept reality.

Challenge the voice in your head that criticizes you.

When you catch yourself having negative thoughts or self-denying thoughts, challenge them. Use positive words or thoughts to refute them, or use your previously identified strengths to resist negative thoughts.

If you catch yourself thinking, "I didn't exercise self-discipline yesterday," try this: "I didn't exercise self-discipline, but I did well in other areas. I was just a little tired, so I didn't exercise self-discipline."

Remind yourself of your strengths: "I know I'm good at something else, and I'm proud of it." Tell your inner critic to stop with the negative thoughts.

"Okay, inner critic, I know you always say I'm not smart, but that's not true. I've now identified my strengths, and I'm sure I'm good at other important things.

Treat your inner critic well. Remind yourself, teach yourself, and learn to correct your negative self-perception.

Accept yourself, and don't settle for anything less.

Do more of the things you like and find your life's purpose in them. Accept yourself, warts and all.

When you're feeling down, do something to please yourself. Make yourself happy, and you can also have a little sweet treat. Sweet things make the body happy, and they will also make you happy.

It is crucial to prioritize your own happiness without causing harm to others. Self-acceptance is a process, so be patient. You are actively reshaping your perception of yourself.

Everyone has different characteristics. Sometimes we are used to walking the same path, but the unchanging days make us generate a lot of negative emotions and prevent us from accepting ourselves. Find the joy of life, find your true self, and be your true self.

Be patient. Recognize yourself. Accept yourself. Make yourself more comfortable.

I am confident that my answer will help the questioner.

Hello question asker!

The questioner believes he is an idealist and does the most down-to-earth work, seeing a lot of the dark side, which makes him miserable. I understand the questioner's feelings. This feeling may come from idealism and the match between this job and oneself.

I'll tell you about my experience. I started as an institutional respondent and worked my way up to core respondent. I didn't feel accomplished. I saw things I never imagined. Often, the other person didn't read my answers. Sometimes, I had to leave consultations early, but the other person left bad reviews anyway.

All of this adds up and makes me feel bad.

Other people have had these experiences and are still trying to cope. I feel uncomfortable and find it hard to adjust. I've been thinking about whether to give up. It hasn't been easy.

If you can't adjust, how can you help others? I chose to give up, even if I can start over later.

Don't confuse yourself and don't make things difficult.

The questioner said that depression returned at the beginning of the year. They kept going, and they know they can handle things. But the social environment is tough, so how can one fight against it? The questioner is an idealist, so some things that seem normal to others can also make you feel uncomfortable and angry.

I think the questioner should consider changing jobs. If that job isn't system-based, they should choose another job.

Furthermore, you still have to eat, wear clothes, and have a life. Can we think of work as just work? Just do your part and focus on your own life. If you think idealism is good, you can start a blog or write a novel. Maybe your mood will change over time?

Also, don't label yourself as idealistic. You may just have a strong sense of justice or be unsuited to this job. Look at the problem again outside the idealistic framework to make new discoveries.

◇Avoidance is not weakness. Protect yourself.

Good luck!

I would like to extend my commendations to the host for their efforts.

The topic initially presented by the original poster is a weighty one. At times, it seems that the answer is evident, as there is a general consensus that an individual's physical and mental health is contingent upon their ability to adapt to their environment and engage in positive social interactions. Consequently, when faced with depressive symptoms, it is often perceived that the onus is on the individual to address and resolve these issues.

However, it is often the case that such confusion regarding the process of self-discovery can be likened to an unsolvable puzzle. To illustrate, one might ask whether everything that is real is justifiable.

Does the capacity to accept, identify with, and engage with the full spectrum of reality contribute to physical and mental health? I am uncertain whether I can provide a definitive answer that is both satisfactory and beneficial.

Furthermore, no individual can substitute for another in the pursuit of self-discovery. If there is indeed a predetermined fate, this may be an example of it.

However, I must reiterate that I hear you. I can only offer my perspective on how one might navigate their own self-reflection, which I hope you will find useful. It is crucial to accept one's inherent limitations, as all individuals are constrained by certain boundaries.

I am aware that my choice to be a "total idealist" has become increasingly firm following a challenging period of self-reflection. Consequently, it is more probable that this choice is "right" than "wrong" in relation to your individual circumstances.

The term "right" can be defined as that which nourishes an individual and allows them to affirm their own value. An individual who is permitted to express their self-worth will exude a strength that is both admirable and inspiring.

The concept of "being allowed" implies a desire to maximize the power of one's beliefs and to thrive in an optimal environment.

It is important to note that the actions taken in a challenging situation are not inherently devalued. In fact, the ability to tenaciously advocate for one's beliefs in the face of adversity, even if the actions are limited in scope, is a valuable quality. However, when there is a mismatch between personal characteristics and the environment, and there is a lack of adaptability, striving towards one's ideals can lead to significant challenges. These challenges may manifest as difficulties in maintaining physical and mental health. Depression, for instance, is a potential consequence of such challenges, but it does not necessarily indicate that one's ideals are misguided.

Conversely, it is possible that this depressive episode has assisted in confirming the answer to the question "Who am I?" It is therefore plausible that this is the reason why you have elected to pursue a thorough idealist outlook in the wake of your recent depressive relapse. I am reminded of a related question that frequently preoccupies me: Is there genuinely nothing greater than the significance of "being alive" in this world?

Is there no value that extends beyond the mere act of living, something that not only exists but is worthy of being defended with one's very existence?

However, even if one has temporarily confirmed one's identity and future aspirations, it is also necessary to recognize and accept one's limitations in order to increase the likelihood of achieving these goals.

A relapse of depression may be interpreted as a signal from the body indicating that the individual is taking on more than they can handle. It is important to recognize that we rely on our bodies and the souls they carry to make choices, persevere, and practice our beliefs.

It is evident that individuals are willing and determined to act on their beliefs, to bravely confront, endure, and transcend suffering. This exemplifies the profound impact of belief, yet it is crucial to recognize the inherent limitations of human existence.

The limitations of time, space, energy, and resources are inherent to the human experience. The maintenance of a limited self necessitates significant effort and often requires the support and resources of others.

The spiritual realm appears to be limitless, imparting the notion that "life has infinite possibilities." However, when it comes to action, it is evident that it is constrained by significant limitations. It is challenging for an individual to consistently and effectively pursue a single endeavor over an extended period, as it necessitates considerable time, energy, and resources, which are often in short supply.

Indeed, it is evident that you are keenly aware of your limitations. To illustrate, you may recall the adage, "We can only carry our loved ones if we can stand up on our own first." However, accepting that you are currently unstable is challenging because it suggests that you have lost the value of your existence.

I posit that this may be the most crucial undertaking for the individual in the present moment. Are you prepared to accept that your mere existence is inherently valuable?

Life exists independently of any value judgment. A pen is produced and exists because it has a use value that is needed by people, but humans are not. Like every speck of dust in the universe, humans exist independently of any value judgment.

It is therefore recommended that you consider the value of self-care and of acting in accordance with your means. It may be beneficial to identify ways of doing so at a pace that suits you, and to recognise that even a faint smile can have positive effects. By extending kindness to yourself and others, you can enhance your own wellbeing and contribute to a better world.

The world and I extend our love to you.

P.S. I will conclude with a quote that encapsulates the essence of this discourse: "Your greatest contribution to the world is to lead a healthy, fulfilling, and happy life."

Hello, host!

I was thrilled to see your headline! It's inspiring to know there are still idealists in this world. So, let's dive into how we define ourselves as idealists. In the past two years, many people have embraced the title of "perfectionists," but few have claimed the title of "idealists."

I believe that an idealist is someone who knows themselves well. And you are still pursuing your path to self-knowledge, so I don't think you are an idealist — yet!

An idealist is someone who has recognized the truth of life and still chooses to live!

Sometimes, in our actions, we act because it is in our interest. And sometimes, we act simply because we believe in something or it is in line with our values.

That's why I especially love the saying, "It's not because of hope that we persevere, but it is perseverance that gives us hope." I think this is what an idealist is!

And I think that if this was a play, the role the host would most want to play would be the savior! You see the injustice and darkness of society, but what society doesn't have these things?

Or, if we are born as human beings, we just have to accept our own insignificance, see our own limited abilities, and do what we can within our capabilities—and that's a great place to start!

Oh, yes! The ancients said that when you are poor, you should work on improving yourself. And when you are successful, you should help the world!

No one is a pure idealist — and that's a good thing!