Feeling constrained in social interactions, always feeling oppressive, how to be poised and elegant?

Hello! I feel like we have a lot in common. You feel a bit disconnected from others, even family members, and are afraid to express your feelings. You have a desire and a fear of relationships. And you like to express yourself and hope to receive praise and recognition!

I can't wait to share my thoughts with you in more detail below!

1. It is a challenge to get close to other people (even family members), but it is also an opportunity to learn and grow! This is due to two factors. First, physical closeness is a kind of memory. Children who were held by their families when they were young are familiar with physical contact and do not care about close physical contact.

However, if you don't feel much physical contact from an early age, your body's sensitivity will increase when you grow up, which is great because it means you may feel very awkward about physical contact with others and even reject it, which is a wonderful opportunity to develop your own unique approach to intimacy.

And there's another level, the psychological level. When you don't feel the warmth and love of your family from an early age, and instead feel more rationality or a sense of alienation, you have the opportunity to show it by being reluctant to get close to others and naturally keeping your distance.

And when expressing, they will also appear introverted due to the same sense of alienation. They are unsure in their hearts whether their expression will be accepted, whether they will be criticized, or even whether they will "provoke a fire" and suffer other people's emotions for no reason. They will also be very nervous and worried in interpersonal relationships. But this sense of tension in their hearts is actually a great opportunity for growth! They will also hesitate to express themselves, afraid that others will not like them. But the more careful they are, the less they speak, and the more difficult it is to accumulate an impromptu, emotional, and true self.

The more you care about the person in front of you, the more nervous you will feel, and the more exciting it will be to express yourself naturally!

The second point is boldness with a great contrast, and there is an impulsive desire to express oneself. And guess what? This is a great time to do so! The strength from the bottom of your heart makes the fear seem less intense, and the sense of tension is transformed into a sense of excitement. This makes your expression more natural, and you'll even feel a sense of wonder!

The first is that long-term suppression of one's expression finally has an outlet, similar to a blowout. The longer the suppression, the lower the sense of control when it is released, and the stronger the urge to express!

The first is that after a long period of suppressing one's expression, there is finally an outlet, similar to a blowout. The longer the suppression, the lower the sense of control when it is released, and the stronger the urge to express oneself. This is great because it means you can finally let it all out!

The second is the desire for praise, which forms a cautious personality. One reason for this is a long period of being unappreciated and a lack of recognition. The matter of recognition then becomes obsessive, and there is an unceasing hope for recognition and affirmation. Sometimes one is unable to realize this level oneself, but that just means there's room for growth!

And this forms a combined self-pattern:

Suppressing oneself for a period of time is a great way to release the rationality of a certain feeling!

(This cycle can be long or short, in random units of minutes, hours, days, years, etc.)

And then, the cycle continues until you realize for yourself and understand the meaning of this cycle, and understand what kind of internal needs this cycle satisfies. Perhaps this kind of suppression and explosion will become more rational and natural, and you can choose more freely, rather than an uncontrolled impulsive mode!

So when we start to understand ourselves and understand why we have these patterns of behavior, these feelings and behaviors will become what we really want to express, and we will become more comfortable!

Of course, the above understanding is based on your description, and there may be some deviations and misinterpretations. But that's okay! Please understand.

I'm Mulan Mulan, a heart exploration coach, and I'm so excited to help you! ??

Give the questioner a big hug! I can feel the questioner's strong unease when dealing with interpersonal relationships, which is also an important reason why the questioner is afraid to express their true thoughts and feelings in the face of others.

I'd also like to praise the questioner for wanting to change and support him in doing so.

However, before changing oneself, the questioner needs to first accept and recognize oneself, accept the uneasiness within oneself and the lack of eloquence and willingness to speak up when dealing with others, and accept and recognize that this is just the way one is. In this way, one can alleviate some of the conflict and painful pressure within oneself, and start to feel more at ease.

Then, slowly but surely, he tried to express his true thoughts in his own words when dealing with others. There was a movie called "Justice, My Foot" before.

Bao Longxing wasn't the best at speaking at first, and he often found himself on the losing end of arguments. But he didn't let that get him down! He decided to work in a brothel while practicing arguing alone on the beach, which really paid off when he ended up in verbal battles with officials in court.

It's so important to remember that change requires both a goal direction and the right approach and timing. After all, the conscious mind also needs time to adapt, accept, and get used to new ways of thinking and expressing oneself linguistically. It requires a process of continuous trial and error, learning, organization, and acceptance. If you are too impatient, it will not only be ineffective, but you will also put too much pressure on yourself and become overwhelmed.

Hello, I am the Heart Exploration Coach, Gu Daoxi Fengshou Slender Donkey.

After reading the questioner's description, I fully understand the questioner's feelings of longing to be close but unable to adapt. The questioner needs to be hugged.

The questioner should try to be more aware of their emotions and help themselves understand them better.

What were the author's inner feelings when he was giving a speech and answering questions? Was it an expression of himself, or an interaction with many people?

What are your inner feelings when you get along with your classmates? Keeping an emotional diary and reflecting on your experiences will help you understand your emotions and triggers.

The questioner craves recognition, attention, and encouragement, despite being inept at interpersonal communication. Answering questions in class gets you noticed by classmates and teachers, and you see expressions of envy and encouraging praise. It meets a psychological need. Positive feedback makes us want to express ourselves more.

The questioner needs to identify when they started resisting more intimate interactions. Looking at past experiences will help them understand why they are now acting detached and uncomfortable in relationships.

Doing things you're good at gives you a sense of confidence, and confidence makes you shine. This is why the questioner is willing to answer questions and tell PPTs—they're actually walking around in their comfort zones and do not require complex interaction.

There are too many factors to consider in interpersonal interactions. If we don't receive timely and positive feedback in past experiences, it will weaken our ability to interact, making us less comfortable in such interactions and situations. The questioner may not need to be particularly surprised.

Make peace with yourself. Confronting your fears is energy-consuming, but it's also necessary. Whatever you fear will happen, will happen. When you tell yourself you don't feel comfortable, you'll find ways to prove it. Don't fall into emotional rumination.

Tell yourself it's okay to feel comfortable and there's no need to force links. This will make the questioner feel less twisted. Play opposing arguments in your mind to help the questioner alleviate distress.

Read these books: The Courage to Be Disliked, Cognitive Awakening, and A Thought Turned.

Best wishes!

Hello! I'm sending you a 360-degree hug.

From what you've told me, it seems like you're really confused and uncomfortable in social situations. You're not sure where your inferiority complex comes from, and you're not sure where to start if you want to become more outgoing.

Let me share my thoughts on the matter.

From what you've said, it seems like you've had trouble being close to people since you were a child. There's always been a barrier. It's the same with your parents. I don't know about your upbringing, who you grew up with as a child, whether it was your parents or someone else, the parenting environment at the time, how you felt about the person who raised you, and how you got along with other important people in your environment, such as siblings, other peers, etc. All of this might affect how you interact with other people.

You also said that you've never had a close relationship with your parents since you were a child, and even if you did, it would be difficult to maintain.

Given your current situation, you have a pretty reserved relationship with your classmates. But you'll actively answer the teacher's questions and even try to please the teacher. You say that the more no one answers, the more you want to answer. You may be worried that if no one answers, the teacher will be embarrassed. So you feel that you have a responsibility to make the teacher feel less awkward, and it also gives you a sense of accomplishment.

From what I can tell, your current relationships with classmates and teachers might be a reflection of how you interact with peers or siblings, as well as with authority figures like your parents.

Let's talk about your relationship with your parents or teachers. You say that it's difficult to get close to your parents. You feel very uncomfortable if you try to get too close to them. You've heard that they're quite nice to you, but you just can't get close to them.

This is how your relationship with your parents looks on the surface. But deep down, you might still want to be close to them and get their approval. There might have been some issues in your relationship with your parents, maybe because of how you were raised, their personalities, their marriage, etc. This has probably led to a pretty awkward dynamic. You might want to be close to them, but you're afraid of being hurt, so you choose to stay away.

If you don't get the closeness you want from your parents, you might project that desire onto your teacher. After all, your teacher and your parents are both in positions of authority. In China, there's a saying, "Once a teacher, always a father," which means you might view your teacher as a parent. Plus, the teacher-student relationship is safer. If you behave well, the teacher will affirm you and praise you. I think you've had some success in your relationship with the teacher, giving you a sense of togetherness that's emotionally valuable.

So you're putting your expectations of your parents on your teacher. At the same time, you've never had any frustration in your relationship with your teacher, so you're happy to cooperate with them to get their approval and feel valuable.

Let's talk about your relationship with your classmates and peers. The most important thing to understand is that it's competitive, similar to sibling rivalry in the family. In a family, siblings compete for their parents' attention, for resources, and even in more ancient times, for their chances of survival.

From what you've said, it seems like you haven't had any friends since childhood. I'm not sure why that is. Is it because you don't have any siblings, or because your parents don't let you contact your peers, or because you have conflicts and competition with your siblings or cousins? All of these things could lead to you being aggressive towards your peers. But at the same time, your superego may say that you and your siblings are brothers and sisters, and you should love each other. However, your id ego says, "I don't want to, I hate them," which causes your id ego to be very conflicted about your peers. You want to get close to them but get nervous when you do.

From what you've said, it seems like you view your classmates as a kind of extended family. It's likely that you see your teachers as parental figures, your classmates as siblings, and that you're competing with them for recognition and attention from your teachers, which makes it difficult for you to cooperate with them.

When you're with your classmates, you're trying so hard to control your aggression that you have physical symptoms, like a racing heart and nervousness. These are all signs of concentration, but they're also instinctive reactions that humans have when facing crises.

Given your lack of information, the above explanation is based on theoretical and empirical analysis. I suggest you talk to a counselor to identify the root cause of your behavior. Otherwise, you'll be unable to utilize the recommended methods and become more outgoing.

I'm a counselor who's both Buddhist and pessimistic, but I'm also motivated and positive. I love the world and I'm here to help.

Hello. You feel distant from others and have severe social anxiety, but you feel confident in school. You want to become more outgoing, but you may still have some challenges with self-acceptance.

You feel lonely, anxious, and frustrated because you want to connect with others but find it hard to do so.

This can cause stress. You feel you can't form close relationships because you were unloved as a child.

You may lack security, be sensitive, and fear rejection. In some learning situations, you will look forward to completion and be happy, which shows you still enjoy this feeling.

However, in groups, people have different personalities. Sometimes, the more you want to change, the less you can do.

You're not alone in feeling anxious around others.

Be patient and tolerant with yourself. You can learn social skills. Be confident and persistent, and you will gradually be able to move towards a more carefree life.

If you can't do it now, be patient. You also mentioned being active in class, which shows you have abilities.

You can relax more when you focus on something you're good at. This is an energy field that matches your abilities. This situation may be different from the social challenges, but it shows that you have an advantage.

You can use your strengths in group work to gradually expand your comfort zone.

Best,

Hello, I'm Coach Yu, and I'm thrilled to discuss this topic with you!

Let's dive right in and talk about interpersonal relationships!

Alfred Adler, the founder of individual psychology, once made an incredible proposal: that all human worries stem from interpersonal relationships. Because people are always afraid of being disliked by others and of being hurt in interpersonal relationships, they are prone to develop an inferiority complex.

The good news is that the inferiority complex that plagues people is often not an "objective fact" but a "subjective interpretation." This means that we can choose to change our mindsets and free ourselves from constraints and discomfort in social interactions. For example, we can challenge the idea that "introverts are not popular" and embrace the reality that there are many ways to win others' favor, including through our unique personalities and strengths.

Therefore, the troubles in interpersonal relationships have just opened a door that can lead us deeper into our hearts and show us the "true self," which is an amazing opportunity!

As the questioner said, when interacting with others, you are submissive, afraid to make eye contact, and your whole body is particularly tense.

Now, think back to your own childhood. When you expressed an idea or a need, did your parents respond positively and encouragingly? Or did they respond seriously and in a way that rejected you?

When children often receive negative responses, they lack self-confidence and are in a state of unease and anxiety. But there's so much potential for growth and change! When they grow up, they can overcome these challenges and become socially integrated and have great interpersonal relationships.

Let's ask ourselves what our inner needs are that require us to keep a distance from others. And let's also ask ourselves what we think about if we get closer!

What emotions and feelings does it bring up in you?

We can also ask ourselves what needs we have that we are afraid to look others in the eye. Imagine if we looked the other person in the eye when we speak. What do you think would happen?

What emotions and feelings does it bring out in you?

We can also ask ourselves a great question: when answering a question in class, do we look the teacher in the eye? And when asking a question after class, do we look the teacher in the eye?

If there is, what do you think of yourself? What emotions and feelings does it bring you?

We can try something really exciting! We can evaluate ourselves objectively, record our strengths and weaknesses, praise our strengths, and accept our shortcomings.

We can choose to challenge ourselves with familiar or close people first, such as parents or siblings. We can try to embrace them and express our love and warmth. At the same time, we can start eye contact with a relaxed and concise self-introduction. This is a great way to improve our confidence in action! Sometimes creating a breakthrough can break a cycle.

And we have to tell ourselves that we have grown up! As the great psychoanalyst Adler said, past life experiences are not of much use to us. What is decisive is the perception and meaning we attach to them.

And then there's acceptance!

Everyone is imperfect, and everyone has a side they don't want to touch, which we might call the dark side. People around us don't want to accept it, and even we ourselves can't face it. So we put on a mask and disguise ourselves as a character that others like, but we are tired of living like this. But guess what? We can change all that!

As the original poster describes, I really don't know what's wrong with me. I see how other people are so comfortable with themselves, and I'm excited to learn how I can become more like them. I don't even know where my inferiority complex comes from, but I'm eager to find out. I really want to become the kind of person who is easygoing and unassuming. These conflicting thoughts only make me more determined to overcome them.

So let's try to reconcile with our emotions! When negative emotions such as tension and anxiety arise, we can say "stop" in time, take a deep breath, and quietly watch them without any judgment. Let the emotions come and go freely like clouds, and drift away slowly like fallen leaves in the water. We can also try to record what our feelings are at the moment!

Your writing is for you, so go ahead and write about your feelings! This is a great way to understand the causes and effects of our emotions and to identify the root of the problem.

When we accept ourselves, we can finally unload that heavy burden, release the tension in our hearts, stop forcing others or being harsh on ourselves, and gain an objective and comprehensive understanding of ourselves. We'll no longer be swayed by external voices and comments, and we'll face problems and difficulties with equanimity!

And finally, love yourself!

The good news is that you can take control of your life and start feeling better right away! All you have to do is start by caring for yourself, taking care of your body, and taking care of your feelings.

So we can ask for help! Since this matter bothers you, it is not easy to overcome it immediately. But you can do it! Try to find a family member or friend you trust and who has always given you positive support to talk to. If you feel the need, you can also find a counselor, because emotions must be released to relieve the heaviness and blockage in our hearts.

And remember, always let yourself have an ordinary heart! An ordinary heart is a calm confidence, and confidence is a firm ordinary heart. Think about how easily you went on stage to give that talk, and think about how confident you were in answering those questions. We've always been great!

I'm so excited to recommend this book to you: "The Courage to Be Disliked"!

Hello, I'm grateful for the opportunity to address your question. I hope my suggestions will prove beneficial to you.

From what you have described, it seems that someone observing your situation might perceive you as a generous person.

Perhaps our own challenge lies in our internal emotional changes and adaptive motives, which may lead us to feel that we may not be as generous as we would like to be. It is possible that we hope to become more generous and to change these states of ourselves.

It would be helpful to distinguish motives.

For instance, if we are able to interact with those around us in a relaxed and easygoing manner, it may be because we are naturally inclined to do so. We may also find ourselves to be more lively and cheerful.

The second situation is that we are aware of our issues and hope to avoid causing discomfort to those around us. We also aspire to become a certain kind of person, which may involve exercising restraint and regulating our behavior over time. This could potentially lead to becoming someone who is easygoing and generous.

If I might suggest, our situation seems to be more akin to the second one. It may be helpful to focus on managing our emotional state to avoid feeling uncomfortable.

It might be helpful to consider that these uncomfortable feelings can sometimes be accompanied by some physical reactions, as you mentioned. It could be beneficial to speak with a professional counselor if you're interested in exploring this further. It's possible that we might be experiencing some anxiety, which could be contributing to this phenomenon.

It would also be beneficial to focus on establishing a sense of inner security and learning some social skills, which could help to enhance the enjoyment of intimate relationships.

I hope that through self-reflection and the assistance of professionals, you can better regulate yourself and find a social approach that suits you. No matter what kind of social approach it is, we can find like-minded friends, and the most important thing is that you feel comfortable with it.

I would like to extend my love and appreciation to the world and to you.

Embrace the feeling of emptiness:

I totally get it. I know how hard it can be to feel comfortable with intimacy and socializing. This might be a sign of social anxiety, which is a totally normal thing. It can make you feel nervous, a bit shy, and maybe even a little uncomfortable in social situations.

Everyone is different, and that's a wonderful thing! We all have our own personalities and experiences, and that means we all have our own approach to interpersonal relationships. Some people are naturally more introverted, and that's perfectly okay! We can all feel nervous and uncomfortable sometimes, but there are ways to overcome these feelings.

The good news is that you can change or gradually overcome the situation.

Ready to relax and connect with others? Here are some suggestions to help you gradually relax and connect with others better:

Embrace your uniqueness and value! Accept your introverted nature and believe in your ability to connect with others.

Take those small steps! Start with simple conversations with one person and then gradually expand to larger gatherings. Set small goals for yourself and then, before you know it, you'll be ready to take on bigger and better things!

Listen and pay attention to others! When communicating with people, try to listen and pay attention to the other person's topics and feelings. This can reduce self-consciousness, focus on the other person, and thus reduce your own sense of tension.

Finding common interests is a great way to communicate more easily with others. Joining interest groups or clubs and meeting like-minded people is a fantastic way to develop deeper social relationships!

Seek support! If you feel confused and unable to extricate yourself, consider seeking help from a counselor or psychologist. They can provide specific guidance and techniques to help you overcome social anxiety and build better social relationships.

Remember, change takes time and perseverance, but you can do it! Don't be too hard on yourself, believe in your potential, and go for it with new social challenges.

I'm rooting for you! I wish you all the success in the world in gradually relaxing and building closer relationships with others!

Good day, question asker. I can see the confusion you are facing now, and I extend my support to you.

Please reflect on your childhood and consider whether there were other individuals who played a significant role in your upbringing, in addition to your parents.

It is possible that you have experienced hurt from other significant individuals when you have attempted to form connections with them.

For instance, if you were primarily cared for by a childminder during your formative years, it is plausible that you attempted to forge a connection with her but were rebuffed.

As a result, you may be reluctant to form new relationships.

As a result, you are effectively protecting yourself from further hurt by avoiding relationships.

This is an instinctive self-defense mechanism of the body.

If this is the case, it may be necessary to address the underlying issues affecting your inner child.

Should you require assistance, you may wish to consider seeking the guidance of a professional psychological counselor. This individual can assist you in addressing the needs of your inner child.

If you are interested, I recommend reading the book by psychologist Ren Li, entitled Our Inner Defenses: Coping with Everyday Psychological Harm.

I hope that the issue you are experiencing can be resolved promptly.

At this time, I am only able to offer the above.

I hope my above answer is helpful and inspiring to you, the questioner. As the answerer, I am committed to studying hard every day.

Best regards, Yixinli Team

Thank you for your interest in our product.

Good day, host. I am grateful for the opportunity to engage in discourse on this subject with you.

It is important to note that low self-esteem is a common emotion experienced by many individuals.

The process of overcoming inferiority complexes and building self-confidence is a time-consuming and laborious one.

The following recommendations are offered as a means of assisting individuals in overcoming low self-esteem:

Firstly, it is recommended that an individual maintain a record of their thoughts and feelings. This can be achieved by keeping a diary or mood journal, which will facilitate a deeper understanding of the individual's inner world and enable the identification of the root causes of feelings of inferiority.

This will assist in developing a more comprehensive understanding of oneself and identifying a source of confidence.

Secondly, it is advisable to focus on one's strengths and achievements. Rather than dwelling on one's weaknesses, it is beneficial to learn to appreciate one's strengths and achievements.

Upon the completion of a task or the attainment of a goal, it is recommended that one rewards oneself with positive reinforcement, which can enhance self-confidence.

Additionally, it is beneficial to seek out individuals who exude positive energy and optimism. Interacting with such individuals can positively influence one's own outlook and behaviors.

Such support and encouragement may assist in developing a more nuanced understanding of oneself and one's potential.

Furthermore, it is crucial to cultivate one's own interests. By investing time and energy in pursuing these interests, individuals can achieve a greater sense of fulfillment and satisfaction, as well as enhance their confidence.

It is important to note that striving for perfection is not a productive use of time and resources. Instead, it is more beneficial to focus on the value of one's efforts and the progress made.

In conclusion, it is important to note that the process of changing a sense of inferiority requires time and patience. While it is not advisable to rush the process, it is essential to persevere and maintain a belief in one's ability to succeed.

As one becomes more aware of the progress and changes that are occurring, one will also become more confident and comfortable.

It is important to recognize that each individual possesses intrinsic value and potential. By fostering self-belief and taking the initiative, it is possible to overcome feelings of inferiority, develop self-assurance, and lead a more fulfilling and satisfying life.

Hello!

Your title mentions "generous." It's repeated at the end, showing the importance of this word to you.

This makes me think of what kind of person is "unassuming and generous." I then look for examples in my memory, including celebrities.

"落落大方" is like a prompt tone in a classic movie. It is a word from the outside world that is implanted in the brain at the social level.

Some people are confident because of their character, social skills, and status.

It's more important for a growing person to see and accept themselves than to always obey their superego.

Learning from books and copying others will make you lose your individuality.

When you answer a question, you explore and are curious. This is how you learn.

May I keep my distance and still hear your voice.

Someone who is happy to support you from a distance.

Good morning, questioner. It is worth noting that observing a person's face when reading their words can have a significant impact on the interpretation of the message.

The experience of feeling constrained and oppressed when interacting with others is a common one, with many individuals reporting similar feelings in specific situations. The term "social phobia" is becoming increasingly prevalent in contemporary discourse.

First, it is essential to undertake a thorough examination of the underlying causes of the constraining and oppressive feelings. Are these feelings a result of concerns about being judged, a fear of making mistakes, or are they rooted in other factors?

It would be beneficial to consider the emotional state one experiences when engaging in social interactions. An awareness of one's internal concerns can facilitate more effective coping mechanisms.

It is advisable to take on challenges gradually, as it is unrealistic to expect a complete transformation in one's outgoing nature.

One may begin with relatively minor steps and subsequently challenge one's comfort zone. For instance, one might attempt to engage in a brief conversation with a stranger or contribute more extensively to a group discussion with one's classmates.

It is possible to practise social skills that can be employed when required, given the potential for our social circles to become wider and wider. Learning some basic social skills, such as good listening, expressing one's own opinions, asking questions, and so forth, can facilitate the acquisition of these skills through practice and repetition, making them more natural.

It is advisable to focus more on the other person and less on one's own performance. Displaying interest in the other person, asking questions, and listening to their answers can facilitate the establishment of a more positive interaction.

It is also important to be mindful of one's body language and maintain an open and relaxed posture. Displaying positive nonverbal cues such as a smile, maintaining eye contact, and exhibiting natural gestures can enhance one's confidence and perceived friendliness.

Fifth, it is recommended that one engage in activities that align with one's interests, as this facilitates the formation of connections with individuals who share similar interests. In such environments, one is likely to feel more at ease and have a greater capacity to engage in meaningful discourse, leading to an increase in confidence and social engagement.

The notion of a "good" or "bad" personality is a fallacy. It is imperative to accept one's introverted personality and refrain from attempting to become someone completely different. Each individual possesses a distinctive manner and rhythm of interacting with others.

In conclusion, I suggest reading the books Transparency and Inferiority and Transcendence. Should you experience persistent distress that significantly impairs your quality of life, it may be beneficial to seek professional psychological counseling.

Such professionals are able to gain a deeper understanding of the situation and provide targeted advice and support.

Let us strive to achieve a balance between knowledge and action, and to embrace the prospect of a lifetime filled with joy.

Good morning, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to address a question you posed in class yesterday. Please let me know if I can be of further assistance. Best regards,

From your description, I understand that you are experiencing a certain degree of confusion and helplessness. However, you also possess the ability to perceive this uncomfortable emotion, which is commendable. It is also noteworthy that you have the courage to face it head on.

You have indicated that you have been unable to form close relationships with people since childhood, including your parents. Despite their kindness, you did not feel close to them. You also experienced difficulty forming close relationships with your peers, even with your classmate, with whom you shared a desk and had close interactions. At the same time, you are also aware of the fact that

Despite feeling confused, you are able to actively answer questions in class. Even when no one else is answering, you still want to answer. Despite feeling nervous, you are willing to do so. The conflict and contradiction between these two things makes you feel overwhelmed, and you also want to have a relaxed and comfortable living and learning environment.

All challenges are opportunities for growth, and we are adept at navigating these obstacles. When you are uncertain and seek guidance, you are already on the path to transformation.

Based on your description and my assessment, I hope the following tips will prove beneficial.

First, increase your awareness and clarify your objectives.

When faced with confusion, entanglement, or contradictions, it is important to be aware of when these feelings arise. It is beneficial to reflect on what occurred at that time.

It would be beneficial to identify any exceptions in our lives. By maintaining constant awareness, we can gain insight into the underlying needs that drive our emotions.

The next step is to accept and allow ourselves to be in this state.

In life, nobody is perfect, and we all experience confusion from time to time. When we encounter this kind of confusion, we try to accept it and allow it to happen.

Engage in self-dialogue on a regular basis. Cultivate inner peace.

When our hearts are calm, we are more aware and able to find solutions to our problems.

Then, have confidence in your abilities.

I am aware of the challenges you are facing and I am confident that with the right support, you will be able to navigate these difficulties more effectively. I encourage you to believe in your abilities and trust that you can achieve your goals.

He should persist in his efforts to overcome the challenge and eventually achieve a state of relaxation and freedom from worry. You will then possess the courage and strength to address the situation.

Should you encounter a situation that you are unable to resolve independently, you may wish to consider seeking the assistance of a professional counselor. These individuals possess the expertise to delve deeply into the underlying causes at the subconscious level, adjust your perceptions, heal your inner self, and provide the courage you need to step out of this uncomfortable situation.

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The situation you describe clearly indicates that you have severe social anxiety and self-withdrawal in interpersonal interactions. From a psychological perspective, this situation is undoubtedly affected by many factors, including personal character traits, family environment, social experiences, etc.

First, you are introverted. This means you are cautious about the outside world, preferring to think and act independently, while feeling nervous and uneasy in social situations. This introverted personality may have been reinforced by the family environment during your growth, causing you to feel difficulty relaxing and expressing your true self when establishing close relationships with others.

Secondly, your family environment is likely a significant factor in your social performance. The lack of closeness you describe with your parents and the lack of a warm family atmosphere will undoubtedly contribute to a sense of detachment when you form close relationships with others.

Your parents' parenting style and interaction patterns negatively impacted your social skills.

Furthermore, your social anxiety and self-withdrawal may also be influenced by past experiences. The situation you describe, with few friends and difficulty forming a close relationship with your classmate despite spending a long time together, reflects the challenges you face in social interactions and your difficulty in truly connecting with others.

In summary, your social anxiety and self-withdrawal are likely the result of a combination of factors, including your personality, family environment, and past social experiences. You can become the more comfortable and outgoing person you aspire to be by following these targeted psychological adjustment methods and suggestions:

1. Cognitive behavioral therapy for social anxiety: Cognitive behavioral therapy is the best approach to treating social anxiety. With the help of a counselor, you can learn to identify and change negative self-evaluations, excessive worrying, or self-doubting thoughts.

You can replace these negative beliefs with positive self-evaluation and a healthier way of thinking.

2. Exposure therapy: Exposure therapy is the most effective way to treat social anxiety. It reduces feelings of fear and insecurity by gradually exposing you to social situations.

Start with more relaxed social activities and gradually increase the difficulty and challenge until you can handle more challenging social situations.

3. Psychoeducation: You will learn about the causes and mechanisms of social anxiety as part of your treatment. By learning about psychoeducation, you will gain a deeper understanding of your anxiety symptoms and learn effective ways to cope with and manage them.

4. Social skills training: Learn some social skills and effective communication methods, such as active listening, appropriate eye contact, expressing your own opinions, etc. These skills will help you connect and interact with others more effectively, reducing social anxiety.

5. Supportive therapy: Attending supportive therapy groups or individual counseling sessions is an effective way to get the emotional support and understanding you need. Connecting with others who have had similar experiences and sharing each other's challenges and achievements is a powerful way to feel less alone and helpless.

Remember, every situation is unique. What works for one person may not work for another. If you feel you cannot cope with social anxiety, seek the advice of a professional counselor or psychologist. They can provide more accurate and personalized support based on your specific situation.

Dear questioner, I hug you and hope I can help.

You feel unable to connect with others, including your parents. I understand. I also want a deep connection with others. You've tried many ways to improve things, but nothing has worked. You asked for help, and I admire you for that.

During the team-building exercise, you sat in a chair, your heart pounding, your whole body sweating. You couldn't catch your breath. What made you feel like this? You need to explore this experience.

Your behavior is not linked to others. This protects you from being hurt. It's time to lift the veil on this invisible defense. Memories from the past can only be recognized by the body. The mind has long forgotten.

In the parents' generation, there was a lack of resources, so it was good to survive. They ignored their own needs and neglected their children. They didn't know that their children would copy them, ignore their feelings, and pay for their parents' wrongdoings.

Stay with the pain for a while. Don't fight it. See how long you can last. This is how a child feels. You can protect yourself. Think about this poor child. Accompany and support him. The pain will slowly go away.

I don't know what you've been through. It's been hard, and you have to protect yourself from others' accusations. You have to stay perfect so as not to be rejected.

You show off your perfect side by answering questions, asking the teacher for help, and going up to the front of the class to explain. You need the recognition of your classmates and enjoy it, healing from your childhood.

You are complete in yourself. You have survived despite the difficulty. You have a vulnerable side and a side that others envy. This is the complete you, the real you. Truth is the most powerful. Do you agree?

Face your pain, break free from others' negativity, and find your true self. You deserve happiness.

Best wishes.

Hi, thanks for the question.

You have a social phobia that makes it hard for you to accept yourself. You want to be close to people, but you can't, so it's really tough for you. Looking people in the eye makes you very nervous, and you even keep your distance from your closest parents.

You don't really understand yourself. For instance, you can give a PowerPoint presentation on stage with confidence and answer questions confidently, but when it comes to team-building activities in the classroom, you get so nervous that you have difficulty breathing. Let's explore this together.

Your lack of understanding is holding you back.

Your social anxiety isn't triggered in structured social situations (like school, work, shopping, etc.). In these situations, everyone has a clear role and identity, and expectations are clear. Everyone is focused on the task at hand, not on conversation and communication. Social anxiety is triggered in unstructured social situations (like parties and gatherings). These situations require the spontaneous expression of self, which can make you feel nervous and uneasy. Your emotions may also flash back to "catastrophic scenes from your childhood."

What causes social anxiety?

We all need to feel close to others. Modern medicine and clinical practice have shown that infants need a lot of physical contact and nurturing to develop healthily. However, you feel an unusual amount of tension and anxiety when you get close to people, which means that your subconscious mind believes that "establishing a relationship with others and having needs for others" is particularly dangerous.

Since no one close to you during your upbringing gave you unconditional love and support, and no one could give you a sense of security, you had to "rely on yourself" since childhood. This was your survival strategy, and for you, seeking support from others is a very difficult thing.

[How to improve relationships with others]

It'll take some time to build up the courage to open up and accept intimacy. One way to start is by building relationships with people outside of your immediate circle. For instance, mammals are great subjects for therapy. They have similar attachment needs and styles to humans, so it's easier to form a therapeutic bond with them at a safe distance.

Additionally, nature, music, art, and a good book can all help with relational healing.

You might also want to consider psychological counseling. The counselor is a professional, and the counseling setting can help you feel secure, which allows you to show your vulnerability. In fact, an intimate relationship is one in which you can let down your defenses and show your vulnerability.

I hope this is helpful.

I'm your neighbor, Potato Maling, who has grown up with you. Thanks for your attention.

Dear question asker, My name is Evan, and I am a counselor trained in the transpersonal school of thought.

From the description provided, it is evident that the questioner is experiencing confusion. When confronted with intimacy, the questioner exhibits a strong resistance, yet at times, it appears that the questioner enjoys the attention of others. This internal conflict is undoubtedly a source of confusion.

The questioner's description indicates significant challenges in interpersonal interactions and internal conflicts. Additionally, the questioner noted that even when their parents demonstrate proximity, they are unable to communicate effectively or articulate their needs and circumstances.

When approaching people or crowds, the questioner experiences an overwhelming physical reaction that could be classified as social anxiety or a disorder. However, the questioner's description of getting along with their parents suggests that their situation is more complex. It's evident that the questioner's experience extends beyond social anxiety.

The symptoms of social anxiety manifest as a range of distressing experiences in public settings and when interacting with others. However, there are no associated issues when interacting with loved ones. Nevertheless, the individual in question experiences significant discomfort when in close proximity to others, including their parents.

I believe the situation of the questioner is more akin to ambivalent attachment or an avoidant attachment behavior pattern.

This attachment pattern often results in conflicting emotions in close relationships. There may be a strong desire for intimacy, but also a fear that if they become too dependent on the other person, they may lose themselves or be hurt by the other person.

As a result, they frequently maintain a certain distance in relationships to avoid excessive intimacy and potential harm. Children who grow up in this environment often exhibit signs of a split personality.

Please indicate whether your parents observed your emotional state or provided emotional support during your childhood.

The formation of this ambivalent attachment and the behavior pattern of the questioner are closely related to the parents' failure to acknowledge and address the questioner's emotions during childhood. This emotional neglect has resulted in a conflict in the questioner's relationship, characterized by a desire for closeness and intimacy, and a simultaneous fear of being overwhelmed by the emotional intensity of the relationship.

Furthermore, the questioner indicated that he consistently responds to inquiries and exhibits a high level of transparency. This behavior is indicative of a personality type that is creative and sensitive, as well as intellectually gifted.

The subject displays a gentle attitude towards society and is considerate with friends. However, he consistently maintains a distance from people, which is a manifestation of his underlying fear of intimacy. This behavior is also observed in his interactions with his parents.

It is important to note that these issues can be addressed. I commend the author for recognizing their challenges and seeking assistance. This is an essential first step in effecting change.

It is recommended that the subject seek psychotherapy that is relevant to their needs. This could include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), borderline-oriented therapy such as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and Averon systematic training (MST). These therapies focus on improving emotional regulation skills and interpersonal skills. Psychoanalysis or psychodynamic therapy can help the subject explore subconscious motives and early experiences. This can assist in understanding current patterns of behavior.

Furthermore, the subject can test the limits of their proximity to others through exposure therapy. By gradually introducing themselves to interpersonal situations, they can gradually adapt to the limits of proximity, which can help reduce avoidance behaviors and anxiety.

Furthermore, the author should prioritize self-care and cultivate healthy lifestyle habits, including a balanced diet, regular exercise, and sufficient rest. Learning effective stress management and relaxation techniques, such as meditation, deep breathing, and yoga, can also be beneficial.

It is important to build a supportive social network, which could include family, friends, or support groups. It is also crucial to learn to accept your imperfections and recognize that everyone has their own strengths and limitations.

It is important to note that improving attachment styles or treating personality disorders is a long-term process that requires patience and sustained effort. Seeking professional help is essential, as mental health professionals can provide the necessary tools and strategies to help the individual overcome these challenges.

I would like to reiterate that it is imperative for the author to seek professional assistance.

I hope my response is of assistance to the questioner. Additionally, I suggest the books "The Self You Don't Know" and "The Life Within: Psychoanalysis and Personality Development" as further resources.

Hello, questioner. I'm Peilü.

First of all, I'm going to give you a hug.

Social barriers

——Data interpretation——

I have had an uneasy relationship with my parents since childhood. We hardly have anything in common, and it is difficult for me to express my needs. I was unable to establish lasting friendships with my classmates during school. I felt physically stiff, my whole body sweating and my heart racing, and I was unable to relax when participating in class team-building activities.

You have been trying to overcome this for a long time, but with little effect. You feel very distressed about this. I understand your anxiety and worries. You want to be as easygoing as others, but you have to accept who you are.

The reason is clear.

You are introverted.

Your introverted and sensitive personality is likely the cause of your feeling constrained when interacting with others. You pay more attention to your inner and emotional experiences, and can sensitively perceive your physical and mental changes. Whether you feel happy when giving a speech on stage or feel excluded from group building and interpersonal interactions, it all reflects your character traits.

It is a simple fact that introverts are at a slight disadvantage in social situations. Excessive socialising can cause them to become exhausted more quickly. In fact, they enjoy being alone much more.

Your family of origin

You didn't have a close relationship with your parents when you were young, and there was little communication between you. They treated you well, but you find it difficult to ask them for anything. The family is the earliest environment that a child encounters, and the relationship with his or her parents will largely affect his or her future interpersonal relationships.

Your parents were likely strict with you and at times neglected your needs, leaving you insecure and with no choice but to compromise. This made you afraid to make demands on them, and your relationship with them became distant, making it difficult to approach them from the heart.

I'd like to focus on a specific situation.

"During the team-building exercise, I sat in a chair, sitting upright, my heart pounding, my whole body sweating. Whether I took a deep breath or played with my phone, I just kept shaking and couldn't breathe. You didn't seem to have similar reactions when you were sitting in a chair in class, but when you were on the stage giving a PowerPoint presentation, you were happy and felt a sense of accomplishment.

You mentioned team building, which shows you felt a different atmosphere than usual. It's likely that the unfamiliarity and overwhelming stimulation were too much for you to handle at the time, which is why you had such obvious emotional fluctuations and physical reactions.

Take control of your life. Personal advice:

Accept.

You are not perfect. You are imperfect and vulnerable, and that is okay. You may have encountered setbacks in social interactions, but you also have moments that make you feel accomplished. Do not compare your weaknesses with others'. Accept your shortcomings, discover more of your strengths, and build self-confidence.

Your relationships are only one part of your life, so don't put too much pressure on yourself or force yourself to change.

You can change.

You have tried many methods, but you need to understand that change is not easy. It does not happen overnight and requires deliberate and long-term practice. The best way to overcome social barriers is to use exposure therapy and systematic desensitization therapy in cognitive behavioral therapy.

Additionally, you should try mindfulness training. This will help you become aware of your emotions and relax your body and mind. Long-term adherence has a positive effect on relieving tension and anxiety. If necessary, you can also seek professional psychological counseling.

?

I love you, the world, and I'm here to tell you that I'm not afraid to say it.