Feeling distressed and conflicted, struggling to prepare for postgraduate entrance exams at home and relying on my parents is really unpleasant. What should I do?

I don't know what your current part-time job is really like, whether it has taken up a lot of your time, and whether it has seriously affected your postgraduate entrance exam plans. But I do know that every year, there are people taking postgraduate entrance exams, and the competition is still quite fierce. So don't let your current situation get in the way of your future!

If you want to work hard part-time while also struggling at home worrying about studying for the exam and relying on your parents, you'll quickly find that your concentration will be seriously depleted. It will be difficult for such a half-hearted person to really devote themselves to the grand battle of the exam and stand out.

If you've already made up your mind, go for it! Don't let anything hold you back. Part-time work is just a stepping stone to something bigger and better. You've got this!

It's a decision that can be made all at once! If you don't want to depend on your parents, you have the chance to grow up now and give yourself the opportunity to take the postgraduate entrance exam. If you really can't pass it, you can find a full-time job and be content with that.

You are tired and suffering now because your personality and perception make you feel bad. But you can change this! You always put yourself in a dilemma and avoid conflicts, which is cruel to yourself and unfair to your time and energy.

If you have to buy computer classes online, you can rely on your parents. Then, for the time being, explain to your parents that the money is borrowed and will be repaid later. This will also give you more motivation to study for the exam. You are an honors student, so you should take advantage of this to get yourself ashore as soon as possible. Only in this way can you suddenly wake up and focus your energy on breaking out of the siege. Come on!

ZQ?

Classmate, what you are doing is not living off your parents. It is reasonable to need your parents' support while your studies are not yet complete. Focus on your studies. If both of your parents support you in taking the postgraduate entrance exam and your family's financial situation allows, quit your job and devote yourself fully to your studies. Your parents have supported you for so many years, and it is not a big deal to support you for one more year while you take the postgraduate entrance exam.

If you feel guilty about your parents, study hard, get into graduate school, and find a way to support yourself. Don't worry about making money now, but have long-term goals.

I was just like you when I was your age. I felt bad for my parents too. It's good that you're a good child, but you have to figure out what your parents really want. They want you to succeed, not for you to give them half your steamed buns. You have to figure out what is important.

Don't worry about what your neighbors think. Throughout history, everyone who has achieved great things has worked hard and remained calm. What others think is their business; I have my own ideals and goals. If you care about saving face, you will never amount to anything.

When you're down, kick your own face. When you're up, someone will clean it for you.

If you have a dream, go for it. Don't let your neighbors and relatives hold you back. They represent the general public. If you care about what they think, you'll be just like them. It's okay to be different. Don't hold a grudge against them.

Respect them. Learn and live life to your benefit.

Come on!

Good luck!

Hello, I hope I can help.

You're facing some challenges because of your postgraduate studies. You don't want to rely on your parents, but you're worried that part-time work will affect your revision progress. I understand your dilemma. We can try to make adjustments in the following areas:

First, affirm yourself. Recognize your strengths, efforts, and consideration for your parents. Be your own staunch supporter, praise yourself, and not be disturbed by external factors. This is the foundation for maintaining your motivation to move towards your goals.

Second, make trade-offs. Define your first goal based on your current situation. Prioritize tasks and make trade-offs. If you can't do everything, don't force yourself. Set your sights on the long term. The clearer your plan, the clearer your focus. You may face choices at each stage. The clearer your direction, the stronger your motivation, and the more likely you are to achieve your goals.

Third, stay focused. Don't create emotional obstacles, focus on action, arrange your time, make plans, and have control. You'll get closer to your goal sooner.

Knowing what you want is more important than what others want.

Have a great day!

Good morning, Qingxiang here. I'd like to discuss this with you.

From your description, I can discern a certain inner conflict, as well as a lack of confidence. However, I also perceive a strong sense of dedication and commitment, particularly in your desire to become a source of support for your parents.

You are currently facing a situation where you are preparing for postgraduate exams at home while also working part-time to pay for the computer you need to take online classes. At the same time, you can see that some of your former classmates have already surpassed you. You previously held a position of distinction, and you were definitely the envy of your neighbors, but now you seem to have fallen behind a bit. This has caused some fluctuations in your emotional state, and you have some doubts about yourself.

You observed your classmates from the same year gain acceptance into graduate school, which led to feelings of inadequacy. You perceived others as being exceptionally talented, while you were still striving to prepare yourself. Not only did you hold others in high regard, but you also undervalued your own abilities, which resulted in the emergence of negative emotions such as anxiety and inferiority.

Given your current situation, I believe it would be beneficial for you to hear my experience, which may help you to see yourself more comprehensively.

(1) While pursuing my undergraduate studies, I attempted to apply for postgraduate studies but was unsuccessful. Understandably, I felt a sense of disappointment. After beginning my professional career, I continued to consider opportunities to pursue postgraduate studies. During the three years I worked, I dedicated my spare time to studying, reading books, and memorizing. However, the results were not as favorable as I had hoped. The primary reason for this was the opinions of my colleagues and my supervisor.

I attempted to excel in both my professional role and my studies, but ultimately was unable to achieve this dual objective. In response to this challenge, I took two months of leave, rented a residence in close proximity to the educational institution, and focused my efforts on my academic pursuits.

I devised a rigorous plan of action, studying as assiduously as I had at school, reviewing the content daily, and limiting my time away from the house to essentials: eating, using the restroom, and taking my regular evening walk. I passed the mathematics and English exams, earned top marks in the two specialist subjects, and successfully entered postgraduate school.

(2) I passed the entrance exam with another colleague. I want to tell you that our different choices have led to our different careers. After three years of completing my master's degree, I couldn't stop thinking about my position at the unit, hoping that I could be promoted and promoted as soon as possible if I returned early. After returning to the unit, I worked for two years and I was successfully promoted to team leader.

My colleague opted for a different path and continued his studies to pursue a doctorate. At that time, he was facing significant pressure and uncertainty about his future direction. He persevered, and after graduation, he was placed in a highly desirable unit within two years. He has since made significant progress, exceeding my own achievements. Interestingly, initially, I even advised her to return to the unit to arrange a position.

This is merely my experience, for your reference only, and I hope you can find your own direction.

I would like to share one more point with you.

I hope you will consider the situation you are currently facing and perform a probability calculation on the available options. It is possible that, after further reflection, you may decide to pursue a different course of action.

In fact, you have these options:

One option is to continue working part-time while preparing for the postgraduate entrance exam.

The advantages of this option include the potential for increased income, the ability to purchase a computer, and a reduction in the burden on your family.

The disadvantages of this option are that the time spent preparing for the exam will be reduced, and the effectiveness of the preparation will be affected, because in this case, family members may have some concerns.

The second option is to prepare for the postgraduate entrance exam with full dedication and to cease part-time employment.

The advantages of this approach are twofold. Firstly, it allows for more time to be dedicated to studying, which will undoubtedly enhance the effectiveness of the preparation process. Secondly, this is a decision that has the full support of your family.

The disadvantages of this option are as follows: should you wish to purchase a computer, you will be required to source the funds from your parents. This may result in feelings of guilt, and you may also have to contend with some gossip from your neighbors.

I have provided some insights into the situation you are facing, which you may wish to consider in the context of your own circumstances.

It is essential to consider both your personal perspective and the current circumstances to achieve your desired outcomes.

— How to address negative emotions within yourself...

It is evident that you are experiencing some negative emotions, which are affecting you to varying degrees. I have compiled a list of suggestions that you may wish to consider.

1) The excellence you see in others is only one aspect of the person, and there may be more that you haven't noticed. With a little more patience and hard work, a little more humility and willingness to learn, and just the right amount of dedication and commitment, you will eventually become the person you admire.

2) Once you have made a decision, it is important to focus on your own actions and efforts rather than on the actions of others. Continue to monitor your progress towards your goal. Do not take things for granted, do not pretend to work hard, and take one step at a time.

3) Individuals have varying conditions and resources, and there is often untapped dedication. When facing the excellence of our peers, we must recognize the efforts of others and strive to learn from their strengths to become excellent ourselves. Setting small, achievable goals is a strategy that can be employed. By consistently achieving these goals, one can gain self-confidence, strengthen beliefs, and gain courage to move forward. This approach can lead to faster goal attainment.

I would like to conclude by noting that even those who are new to the field may have valuable insights to contribute. In this endeavor, there is no guarantee that the fastest runner will be the first to finish. However, those who persevere will likely emerge as the winners. The outcome is still uncertain, and there is still time for improvement.

My name is Qingxiang, and I would like to take this opportunity to share some thoughts and suggestions that I hope will be of benefit to you.

I would like to take this opportunity to express my love and appreciation for the world and for you.

Hello, I'm Xin Tan, Fei Yun's coach. Thanks for sharing your story.

I understand your confusion and dilemma. The questions that trouble you here focus on:

1. Personal ambivalence:

Should you focus on preparing for the exam or work and study at the same time? Should you pursue your ideals without distractions or let go of the opinions of others?

When we judge, we become detached and suffer from gains and losses.

Judgment is when you use your values to evaluate someone or something. As long as there are values, there will be judgment.

Judgment is good because it gives us direction, but judgment that is fixed is caused by limited perception.

Judgment is good because it gives us direction, but if judgment is fixed, it limits us.

For example, your self-judgments make you doubt yourself.

You can add "temporary" to these self-evaluations: I'm temporarily dependent on my parents to succeed in the exam; I'm temporarily useless because I need to focus on preparing for the exam.

?2. Comparing yourself to your classmates makes you feel inferior.

?2. Feeling bad about yourself because you think you're not as good as your classmates.

You were an excellent student, but now you're struggling.

Our lives are all about comparing ourselves to others. If we don't think we're good enough, we'll feel envy or jealousy.

You doubt yourself and question your goals.

You need to know you are worthy. Your worth is your opinion of yourself. It has nothing to do with other people, things, or situations.

It's normal to have some emotional reactions when you have a little difficulty.

Advice:

What do you want?

Is it about work and income now, or future development?

Think about the big picture.

Think about the big picture.

Planning for the future is looking at the present.

The past: resources are limited.

The future is a state of mind. Start with your goals and work backwards to figure out what you need to do now.

From a future perspective, problems are not problems.

You can transform comparing yourself with others into comparing yourself with your past self.

2. Talk to your family more.

Family and friends help us when we need it, especially when we're having a hard time.

Sharing your views and feelings with them can help you get through the darkest moments in your life.

When we talk about pain, it's already half gone.

Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, take responsibility. Turn pressure into motivation.

Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, take responsibility. Turn pressure into motivation.

Self-blame is about the past. It leads to self-hatred and hatred of one's own incompetence.

The future is where responsibility lies. If I want to achieve the result I want, what do I need to do?

Blaming yourself is wrong.

The size of the world you think you are responsible for determines the size of the world you think you are in. You will be responsible for some things and not others.

I hope this helps. I love you. ?

I hope this helps. I love you.

To continue the conversation, click "Find a coach" in the top right or bottom. I will communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

Hello? Question owner, I can see you're confused and uncertain. Let me be clear: you need to stop worrying.

1.

You say that all your classmates have been admitted to graduate school, and you are also very anxious. We may have been happy at times, but we need to recognize that our happiness index is weak!

Everyone has their own path. Family situations are different, as are abilities, surroundings, and jobs. It's normal to start studying for the exam early or late! Comparisons are the root of most anxiety.

2.

Keep your mind level and follow your own path. It's not surprising that we can't keep up with others. Working while taking exams is exhausting. This job is too difficult for you and you don't have much time to study. I don't know how long you've been doing this job, but it's clear that it's not sustainable. You need to make a change. It's really exhausting to study while your left hand is being tested by your right hand!

If the work is really difficult, you should consider a less demanding job that gives you more time to study.

3.

You say you want to put down your work and focus on the postgraduate entrance exam, but you're also worried about people saying you're relying on your parents. You have every right to be worried, and you'll feel uneasy about it yourself. After all, you've been going to school for so many years, but you still haven't seen any results. It's only natural to feel unbalanced.

4.

It doesn't matter how outstanding you were before, or how dismal you are now. The truth is, you can't always be at the top. Life has ups and downs, peaks and troughs. That's normal. But in the long run, you'll see that this is just a minor episode in your life. Difficulties are only temporary.

You've got this! I'm rooting for you. You can do both work and study!