Feeling down, depressed, feeling like no one understands or supports me, it's really hard?

Hello.

You have always worked hard for your family and dealt with your relationships seriously. It is clear that you have not received the care you expected.

You feel aggrieved, and sadness and anger are filling your heart. You need to vent your emotions.

Your family of origin has imprinted you with a tendency to care about other people's opinions.

You said you were tired and wanted to lie down. While you're lying down, follow your heart and imagine that your arms can hug you properly.

You can't control what people say. Take care of yourself first.

The "advice" you welcome may be a kind of "persuasion" that urges you to be more open-minded, to be sensible, and to be patient. It restricts your spirituality.

There has been no attempt to see the light within you.

I'm posting the lyrics to "Wild Rose" by Dai Peini because I know it will bring you energy.

If the wind is right, I'll let it dry my tears.

Don't retreat. Stubborn inferiority can shatter at the slightest touch.

You were right about everything. Some people are not as perfect as you think they are.

But it doesn't matter. I'm not afraid of the darkness as long as I bloom with it.

I am a rose that will never bow its head for love. I let freedom flutter and embellish the gray of my entire city.

Walk bravely out of the twists and turns of life. I silently read the tears, letting sadness dawn. In an instant.

Because of me, it is beautiful. I am a rose that blooms after being washed by love.

I will be protected from unforgiven sins by the strength and tenderness I possess.

I have survived the cold and the heat, the night's fall, and the burning of my insignificance, and I welcome the proud sunlight on my back.

You can't see the flowers wither.

You've been trying to read some books and talk about non-violent communication. You've made it clear that you want someone to pay attention to you and acknowledge you.

You are good. You have always been good.

You must not meet the expectations of others. Instead, you must recognize your own helplessness and vulnerability.

Be yourself again. Be a more authentic self who knows how to say no.

Hello. I'd like to know when you got into this situation. "At home, I have to care about my husband's mood, afraid of saying the wrong thing to make him unhappy, and he can't support me when I'm emotional.

It's evident that you're submissive towards your husband. In this relationship, you're compromising and not being understood, which is exhausting.

"When you're with friends, you care about what they think and worry about whether they're in a bad mood." Spending time with friends should be relaxing and enjoyable. Friends are people who share common interests and hobbies and support and understand each other.

I don't understand why you're always afraid of other people being unhappy and not understanding you. It's clear you're overly cautious about maintaining these relationships.

Is it because you're afraid of being alone?

Don't you dare be afraid of being ignored if you upset the other person or of being left alone!

You've heard so many negative comments about yourself that you always try to please others and are afraid to express your true feelings.

Words like "feeling inadequate" and "only making yourself feel worse" make me want to ask you: What is good enough according to your standards?

"I examine myself three times a day." If you are dissatisfied with yourself, you can work hard to improve. But first, you need to learn to love yourself.

Don't use hot water to water flowers, and don't deplete yourself.

Equality is essential to all harmonious relationships. If you lower your status to please others and belittle yourself, you will only be treated the same way in return.

Develop your own strengths.

The original poster should take a moment to write a list of their strengths or achievements, recalling past accomplishments. The more you write, the better. For example, learning to cook a delicious dish, winning an award, etc. Everyone is unique, and everyone can shine in their own little world.

If you want others to love and respect you, you have to love and respect yourself first. Believe in yourself and make yourself better and better, and you will see that others will love and respect you more and more in return.

I believe this will be helpful.

I am confident you will find it helpful.

Your description is full of grievances. It's clear that you've always cared about other people's feelings and hoped that others would care about your feelings as well. However, you haven't received the attention and support you want. This state of affairs is undoubtedly difficult and frustrating.

If this is how you've always been, you need to ask yourself if this pattern is really serving you.

There's nothing wrong with caring about other people's feelings. What's important is why you care. If you empathize with other people's feelings and accept them because you understand them, you won't suppress your own feelings or have expectations of other people.

People will feel comfortable around those who show them care, and they will be kind to those who show them care.

If you care about other people's feelings but don't truly understand or accept their feelings, and instead try to please them by repressing your own feelings, you're not really caring for them. It's a one-way street. It's hard on both sides: repressing your own feelings is hard, and expecting the other person to pay attention to you is also hard on the other person. If this state continues for a long time, it will accumulate a lot of grievances and complaints, and enter a vicious cycle.

You must work on yourself and make changes to break free from this pattern. The first step is to become aware of your feelings and automatic response patterns, which is not easy because you are always the "insider." Get a professional counselor to help you become aware of your feelings in the mirror.

Zhu Rong, Counseling Psychologist Wang Chunguang

Warm regards, my friend.

You always think of your husband and friends, but they don't appreciate or understand you, and you feel very tired. I understand your sense of vulnerability when your efforts are not appreciated and you don't get support.

First of all, you care a lot about your husband's feelings and are careful not to say the wrong thing to upset him. Are you also reluctant to directly express the reasons for your anger when you feel uncomfortable?

I don't know if you're also so understanding and sensible and willing to sacrifice in front of your parents or your younger siblings (if you're not an only child). Do you ever feel tired but unable to say so?

Next, when you're with friends, you also care about their opinions and pay attention to their emotional changes. Good friends can relax and vent, and pour out their troubles that they cannot talk about with family members. But maybe you're also suppressing your emotions and being an understanding friend, not telling them your inner feelings.

Do you ever feel like there's a problem in the way you get along with your husband? Do you often find yourself in a neglected corner? Even if you don't want to, it can be hard to say no.

If your husband is tired and ignores you, do you start to doubt yourself and wonder if you did something wrong?

Putting yourself last to meet the needs of others can really take a toll on you. It can leave you feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, and sometimes it can even make you feel like you're struggling to keep up.

So, what you need to do now is love yourself. Only by loving yourself can you love others better. Love yourself, warts and all. At the same time, share your vulnerability with your husband. Don't just act like you know it all and can do it all. This will also make your intimate relationship healthier and more stable.

I'm really happy to hear you say, "You always think it's my own problem. Why can't I get what I want even though I try so hard?" This shows you're already aware of your needs. So from now on, look after yourself, respect your own needs, accept yourself, and love yourself more!

Best,

Good day.

I would like to extend a gesture of comfort and support. I empathize with the challenges you've been facing in your interpersonal relationships. The anxiety and emotional distress you've described are understandable. They can lead to feelings of emptiness and a lack of perceived love. I've also observed that when faced with problems, you tend to feel overwhelmed, indecisive, and susceptible to negative comments. This can leave you feeling powerless to change.

In the domestic sphere, I am required to consider my husband's emotional state, fearful of making an inappropriate comment that may cause him distress. When I am emotionally charged, he is unable to provide the support I require, instead attributing my behaviour to pettiness, which leaves him feeling fatigued.

In an intimate relationship, the questioner may feel constrained from expressing their thoughts and feelings freely. This could potentially lead to her husband's criticism and reprimanding, which could result in the accumulation of negative emotions. It is important to understand the opinion of others about her husband in order to gain insight into the dynamics of their relationship. Is it that he lacks empathy towards his wife's thoughts, leading to backtalk and denial, or has he objectively understood and listened to her thoughts, but given his own advice?

In this situation, the individual in question should take a moment to collect their thoughts and approach the matter with a calm and collected mindset.

When I interact with colleagues, I also consider their opinions and assess whether they are in a receptive mood. I am experiencing fatigue. I consistently prioritize the needs of others and consider their feelings, yet I lack understanding and support.

I tend to assume that I am at fault for the lack of attention and support I receive, which is exhausting. Despite my best efforts, I still feel like I am on the verge of a breakdown.

In a friendship, the questioner demonstrates proficiency in active listening and emotional intelligence. They are adept at supporting the emotional needs of others and consistently consider their perspectives. However, despite these strengths, the relationship may not be as resilient as desired. It's crucial to assess whether friends can truly comprehend one's feelings and thoughts based on their expressions.

A straightforward analysis will help identify areas for improvement in your interpersonal relationship model. This analysis will allow you to re-establish a connection with yourself, enabling you to make more informed decisions and express your thoughts and feelings freely. It will also help you enjoy a more stable and manageable relationship.

1. Interpersonal relationships are complementary in nature, and it is beneficial to enhance our capacity to perceive this.

One's behavior can be linked to the behavior of others because a real relationship requires real interactions. This provides an entry point for addressing the relationship and allows for a change in one party's behavior to affect the other party. For example, if the questioner is unable to feel consideration from her husband, she may develop the habit of complaining. This is because she cannot express her feelings and no one listens. At this time, her husband's attention can help relieve her wife's emotions.

As a result, individuals tend to over-identify with problems, leading to self-negation and a diminished sense of self-worth. This approach, however, hinders the identification of the core issue and the ability to modify unhealthy interactions.

2. The first step is to learn how to manage your emotions and express them effectively.

In a friendship, the ideal relationship model for the questioner should be one of mutual understanding and mutual help and support. However, in the process of being overly accommodating and considerate of others, they gradually lose the opportunity to express their emotions, that is, the equality of the relationship. Friends are used to the considerate self, and cannot accept the occasional emotional self. Excessive explanations become a sign of reduced commitment, which is unfair.

In any healthy relationship, it is essential to prioritize self-care before assisting others. This concept is analogous to the safety instructions on an airplane: in the event of an emergency, it is crucial to ensure your own safety before assisting others. Only individuals who are self-sufficient can truly be considered powerful.

3. Implement changes to one-sided thinking and enhance the cognitive system.

If an individual does not receive sufficient support and encouragement over an extended period, it will be challenging for them to effectively manage their emotions. They may be inclined to perceive situations in a negative light, which can lead to feelings of confusion and anxiety.

If you wish to renew your feelings, you must alter your existing cognitive model. Replace subjective judgments with objective perspectives on problems and gain a more nuanced understanding of them. This will help us recognize problems and identify potential areas for improvement in ourselves and others. From this, we can derive strategies for fostering more constructive interactions and fostering new, more positive feeling patterns.

Best of luck to you.

Hello, host! I really hope my answer can help you out.

As a wife and a woman, I understand your feelings very well. I want to hug you and hope you can feel some support and warmth. There was a time when I was also very cautious, always seeking the attention and approval of others, the praise and affirmation of my loved ones, and the support and understanding of my husband. But I found that I was just like you. Not only could I not get the attention and approval of others, but when others gave me even the slightest advice, I felt it was a rejection and criticism of me. I became sensitive and vulnerable, and felt that the whole world was grey and gloomy. But I got through it! And you can too!

Later, I had an epiphany! I realized that I was actually heading in the wrong direction. Trying to get others to pay attention to and recognize you is not a path to happiness. It is the opposite of happiness, because we can never get stable attention and recognition from the outside world. We need to understand that no matter how good we are, there will still be people who don't like us, but no matter how bad we are, there will still be people who care about us and like us.

This means that we can't expect to find stable external attention and recognition. It's simply not possible to please everyone, and we can't realistically expect anyone to give us 24/7 attention and recognition. But here's the good news:

The good news is that we can solve this problem by turning inward and giving ourselves the stable attention and recognition we need, as well as support and affirmation from ourselves.

Guess what! Psychology says that when we're lacking something internally, we'll go looking for it externally.

The fact that we crave the support and recognition of others shows that we have an amazing opportunity to support and recognize ourselves more! While external sources can never give us stable attention and support, we can choose to stop looking for it and start embracing our own amazing qualities.

And the great news is that when you are satisfied with yourself internally and when you approve of yourself enough, you will also feel that other people are satisfied with you and approve of you!

The good news is that the solution is simple! We just need to adjust our direction and learn to approve of ourselves and take care of ourselves. When you approve of yourself enough and can take care of your own feelings, you will find that you no longer need the care and approval of others so much, because you already have it within yourself!

So, how can we achieve self-support and self-acceptance?

First, I stopped doubting and attacking myself. I started practicing self-acceptance and self-affirmation, and it was a total game-changer!

If we always think it's our own problem and that we must have done something wrong to not get what we want, we will of course feel very drained. This really makes you feel tired, and this is what we often refer to as mental depletion. But there is another way!

The truth is, as long as we've put our best foot forward, it's all good! We can only control our efforts, and as for the outcome, we can simply let nature take its course.

I'm excited to share two simple yet powerful ways to shift your mindset and start feeling great! First, start replacing self-doubt and self-attack with self-affirmation and self-acceptance. For example, you've tried your best, and even if you haven't achieved the result you wanted, you can still celebrate your efforts and value them. Second, remember that you have no control over what others think or do. Each of us is an amazing, independent individual. The reason why they are who they are now is due to their unique growth experience, living environment, and educational background. If they don't want to change, that's okay! You can't change someone else, but you can choose to be happy and positive.

So, let's accept others for who they are! Let's stop forcing them to be something they're not. When you do this, you'll never become disheartened or angry when they behave or think in a way that doesn't meet your expectations.

Do you want to feel more confident? Try the amazing self-praise mirror exercise! Simply say "I approve of myself!" to yourself in the mirror hundreds of times a day. Look your best friend in the eye and say it from the heart. You might feel a little uncomfortable at first, but that's totally normal. Just keep going and you'll feel more confident than ever!

And then, it's time to see your strengths and value yourself!

Once, I was in a stage where I desperately needed the approval of others. One characteristic of this stage was that I always saw my own shortcomings and inadequacies. I was not good at cooking, I didn't know how to do housework, and I didn't know how to raise a child. But during that period of time, I kept focusing on these inadequacies. Every day, I felt that I was so bad, that I couldn't do this or that, and that I really couldn't do anything well. As you can imagine, I was very negative every day.

But when I shift my focus to the part of my strengths and see my own value, my feelings are completely different—and they're amazing!

I am really good at writing, studying, and taking exams, so I have obtained many certificates! I also share what I have learned with others in the form of articles. In this way, I feel great every day because I can do these things and I don't think others can. What's more, I can help those in need through my own efforts, which makes me feel really good about myself!

So, it's time to see more of your own merits, play up your advantages, and realize your own value! You'll become more and more self-accepting, and it's going to be amazing!

And finally, exercise your own autonomy! Work not for others, but for yourself.

When we do something for someone else, we often feel less motivated, especially if we don't get recognition after we've done it. But here's the good news! If we do it not for someone else, but for ourselves, then driven by the need for autonomy, we will be more willing to do it.

In the past, my mother-in-law always forced me to exercise, but I just didn't want to. I always felt that I was exercising for her, so I was very passive every time I exercised. When she was there, I would exercise a little; when she wasn't, I really didn't want to. But later, I realized that exercising has so many benefits for the body, and that we need to have some daily activity! I became more active in exercising because I wasn't doing it to make her happy, but to make myself healthier.

In the past, when I did the housework, I did it all for the approval of my husband and in-laws. So, I didn't enjoy doing the housework at all. Every day, I felt like a victim, having to do the housework at home. And when they said that something was dirty or a bit messy, I would get very upset. I felt that my labor wasn't being recognized by them, and they were still finding fault. So I was often unhappy. But then I made a change! I decided to start doing the housework for myself. And it's been a game-changer! I'm so much happier now.

I later learned that doing housework is actually very good for physical and mental health! When we deal with the material world, our emotions are also being adjusted and sorted out. Amazingly, doing some housework every day makes a dirty and messy home clean and tidy, and your mood will also be much more relaxed. And because of my efforts, my family can enjoy a comfortable environment when they come home. This is where my value lies. So, I now do housework because I want to, not to gain their satisfaction. I then found that at this time, no matter what they say, I won't be so angry anymore, because I feel that I have done my best, and I approve of myself. Then their comments are not so important. Of course, in most cases, they are still very satisfied, because I am creating a comfortable home environment with all my heart. When you fill every room with love, you will find that no matter who comes in, including yourself, they will feel this love and be nourished by it.

So, love yourself, accept yourself, and support yourself! When you have enough love and self-affirmation within, you will usher in a world full of light, joy, and safety—it's as simple as that!

Best of luck and all the best wishes!

Greetings, inquirer. My name is Peilü.

First, I would like to extend a comforting gesture in the form of a hug.

An excessive focus on the thoughts of others can result in a depletion of mental resources.

It is recommended that you seek positive attention and support.

Data interpretation

The questioner's own statement indicates a tendency to prioritize the thoughts and feelings of others when spending time with their husband and friends. This can lead to concerns that their emotional state may be negatively affected by one's own actions. Additionally, the questioner's statements suggest a tendency to prioritize the interests and needs of others in various situations, which may result in a lack of attention to one's own feelings and needs. The questioner's efforts to meet the needs of others and do their best are commendable. However, it is evident that they do not always receive equal feedback in return.

Over time, the individual may experience a gradual onset of fatigue, accompanied by feelings of self-doubt, self-blame, depression, and emotional crises. It is evident from the description that the subject displays a high level of sincerity and devotion to others, as well as a strong desire for recognition, attention, support, understanding, and empathy. It is clear that the individual has been struggling for an extended period, and it is important to acknowledge the significant effort they have made to persevere. However, it is also essential to recognise that their current level of commitment has reached its limits. It is now time for the individual to let go of this overwhelming burden and prioritise their own well-being.

A critical examination of the underlying causes

From your description, it is evident that you have identified the core issue, which is an excessive concern for the opinions and emotions of others. While it is beneficial to consider the perspectives of others and attend to their needs, it is also crucial to recognize that we are individuals with our own needs. We also seek support and recognition from others when we are lonely or in need.

In daily life, harmonious interpersonal relationships are contingent upon mutual understanding and care. It is also imperative to exercise moderation in attending to the needs of others. Excessive internalization of these needs can precipitate psychological distress, which, in severe cases, can manifest as physical and mental health issues.

It is often the case that individuals attribute the outcome of an event to their own actions, even when there is no clear evidence to support this. This tendency to attribute can be influenced by upbringing and family dynamics. It is important to recognise that there is no inherent advantage or disadvantage in this tendency. When faced with the outcome of an event, it is essential to maintain a rational outlook and conduct a subjective and objective analysis.

The following advice is intended to be taken on a personal level.

It is advisable to attempt to express your needs.

In a relationship, if one party is consistently giving and their energy is depleted, it is inevitable that their state of mind will become imbalanced. When we realize that we can no longer continue, it may be beneficial to consider whether we need to switch roles, change the mode of interacting with each other, express our thoughts and feelings, and communicate our needs and vulnerabilities in a courageous and honest manner. This can facilitate mutual understanding and the development of healthy interpersonal relationships.

It is imperative to share the love with oneself.

In instances of vulnerability and helplessness, individuals tend to rely on others for a sense of security. However, the individual who is most intimately acquainted with one's self is, in fact, oneself. Consequently, when one's attention is predominantly directed towards others, it is imperative to reserve a portion of one's affection for oneself. This is not a manifestation of selfishness, but rather an act of self-love. Genuine love is selfless and unassuming. When one attains the ability to love oneself, one naturally learns to love others.

It is important to develop the ability to express one's emotions in a constructive manner.

In life, one may not always experience positive emotions. There are always factors that can evoke negative emotions, such as distress and despondency. However, it is crucial not to suppress these negative emotions. Instead, it is essential to identify an appropriate outlet for their expression. This could include maintaining a mood diary or engaging in brief periods of solitude.

The question is thus posed:

The world and I extend my sincerest regards to you.

Good afternoon.

I can hear how you feel, and I understand.

I can tell you're feeling a lot of emotions right now.

Let it out.

You say you need to consider your husband's feelings.

You need to consider his feelings.

I know I'll say the wrong thing and make him unhappy.

You care about him and want him to be happy.

I will support him.

But you know you can do more.

You want to be understood and warmed by him.

For friends,

You care about how they feel when they spend time with you.

And whether they feel good.

Show me your kindness and gentleness.

But you suppressed your feelings along the way.

These emotions have always been there.

Your feelings are the most important thing.

You also hope that others can understand your needs.

I see your needs.

and give you a warm hug.

If you're unsure if you're doing a good job,

Ask them directly how they feel.

They will give you honest feedback.

If you feel unhappy and unappreciated,

You can also speak your mind directly and firmly.

Tell them how you feel and what's bothering you.

If you have accumulated too many desires,

You should also find a professional to talk to.

Find someone who is genuinely curious and enthusiastic about you.

Let's chat.

Hello, question asker. I am honored to answer your question. After reading your description, I can see that you are in a difficult situation. Huang Zhong, you take care of your husband and others' emotions too much. You live your life cautiously, which makes you feel very down and depressed.

I understand that you do these things for the betterment of your family and friends, but others don't understand your good intentions. Some people even think that this is only right for you, and these things make you feel very painful. These reasons are related to your personality and the environment in which you grew up. Perhaps in the past, you had to compromise in your family and deliberately please your parents or other people around you in order to survive and feel secure. Over time, you became afraid to express your own demands to your family and friends, and you got used to suppressing your own demands to please others. However, these efforts did not make you happy by gaining the understanding and support of others.

Communication in life is mutual. Your husband's lack of understanding is likely due to your submissiveness and lack of communication. There are many misunderstandings in your communication with your husband. Expressing yourself and your demands here will allow the other party to understand and meet your needs, which is also a reflection of your own value. Your relationship with your husband and friends is normal.

If you want to improve your relationship with your husband, you can find a family guidance counselor to help you communicate better and resolve any misunderstandings. This will make you and your husband happier. I am happy to have an appointment. 1983 World and I love you!

Because in the course of dealing with your life, you have already experienced too much pain. You have seen the various pressures they may bring to you. You have to care about too many things, and it's okay if you can't handle many things on your own — we all have to learn to ask for help sometimes!

It can be so hard to relax, whether it's with your family or friends. It often feels like you have to care for their feelings and emotions, as if you were a mediator who needs to please others.

It's okay to feel down and depressed sometimes. We all feel like no one understands or supports us sometimes, too.

Oh, it's so hard, isn't it? You have to care about your husband's mood and be afraid of saying the wrong thing.

He also blames you for being narrow-minded and making him feel tired.

Take care of yourself, sweetheart.

Oh, don't be downhearted!

And don't forget about their various thoughts. They may be tired sometimes, too. We all have those days! You are also very tired, I'm sure. In fact, you can do things exactly as you want most of the time. Just forget about others who can't do it.

You know, the more you think about yourself, the freer you'll be.

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When you're feeling tired, it's a great idea to chat with someone to help you feel less stressed.

Take some time to reflect on your days during this period. Have you experienced a lot of breakdowns and distress? What is the situation? It's okay to think about it. Trying to please others might make it less likely for you to be cherished and cared for.

It's so easy to get caught up in the moment and forget about the little things. You've already given so much to others, and it's time to focus on taking care of yourself. It's unfair that no one seems to be supporting you, but you've got this! Try to relax a little sometimes.

You don't need to be good at everything, and you don't need to be completely satisfied with everything you do, because we are all imperfect. It's okay! The greater the ability, the greater the responsibility, and the greater the pressure. Someone once said that the greatest dream is to be ordinary, and I think that's a beautiful thing.

Do the little things you can, and don't worry about seeking great wealth or luxury. Just focus on having enough to eat and wear, and a balanced diet of meat and vegetables. This is excellent! If you keep blaming yourself, it will only make you more depressed and painful, and even make you lose confidence.

You've already done your best, and that's okay! It's important to give yourself a little affirmation. Remember, other people's words are still from their perspective. You're not reading them, you're living your own life! You can't follow other people's advice to a T. As a professional heart exploration coach, I recommend that you perform the necessary meditation planet exercises, which can be found on the homepage, to quiet yourself down and avoid over-emptying yourself.

ZQ?

Greetings, host!

Furthermore, I can empathize with the landlord's sentiments. I previously experienced a similar sentiment, but through a shift in my mindset, I was able to regain my sense of self-assurance.

It is not primarily because others do not recognize you or provide you with the love you desire. Rather, it is because we ourselves are overly concerned with the opinions of others.

It is imperative to recognize that even in the event of global rejection, one must still accept and approve of oneself.

Low Self-Esteem and Transcendence

Low self-esteem has its roots in childhood memories. Those who did not receive sufficient love during their formative years are prone to developing low self-esteem as they mature.

Early experiences are readily imprinted in the subconscious, and once formed, they are not easily altered.

It is challenging to move beyond the painful memories of one's childhood once one has reached adulthood.

In such instances, it is beneficial to reflect on one's current emotional state and consider whether the child from that period who experienced feelings of inferiority still resides within.

It is recommended that the child within be permitted to mature, that the child within be consoled, and that the inferiority complex be overcome.

It is a common phenomenon for individuals to experience a certain degree of inferiority complex. However, if the extent of this complex is such that it causes significant distress,

Subsequently, it is essential to engage in introspective reflection, identify one's authentic self, confront one's inner reality with clarity, and approach oneself with impartiality and objectivity.

One must accept oneself and cultivate unconditional self-confidence.

It is a fallacy to assume that confidence is the exclusive domain of individuals with superior abilities. Rather, it is contingent upon one's ability to recognize one's shortcomings, maintain self-acceptance, provide oneself with encouragement, and refrain from self-devaluation.

One might reasonably inquire as to what would occur in the event that one is unable to recognize oneself, and thus unable to accept oneself. In such a scenario, it would be reasonable to posit that no one else would be able or willing to accept that person.

One must reject the notion of a "pleasing personality type."

It is therefore unwise to expend energy on flattery, as it will not win favour with others. It would be more prudent to invest such energy in self-growth.

One should allow oneself to be imbued with a sense of optimism and positivity, and strive to become a person who is upwardly mobile and optimistic. It is of no consequence whether or not one is liked by others; what matters is one's own sense of inner peace and comfort.

One must identify one's true self and embrace it.

The motivation to seek external validation is often driven by an underlying need to identify and embrace one's true self.

Upon attaining one's authentic self and establishing a sense of individuality, external influences are rendered incapable of affecting one's emotional state.

It is my sincere hope that you will enjoy a long and happy life.

I am Warm June, and I extend my love and affection to the world.

Dear Question Asker,

You desire care and recognition, yet it appears that despite your best efforts, you are unable to obtain these things from others. Consequently, you experience frustration, helplessness, a loss of motivation, depression, and self-doubt. Is this accurate?

"In my personal life, I have to consider my husband's emotional state, as I am fearful of saying the wrong thing to upset him. When I am emotionally distressed, he does not provide the support I need, instead blaming me for being petty, which makes him feel exhausted." "In my social life, I have to consider the opinions of my friends, worrying if they are in an emotional state."

You are mindful of other people's emotions and strive to avoid causing them distress. When communicating or taking action, you consider whether your words or actions might evoke a negative response.

As a result, you are unable to express your thoughts or actions, and the original emotions within you cannot be properly released. Consequently, your heart is gradually filled with "small stones."

"I'm experiencing fatigue. I consistently prioritize the needs of others and consider their perspectives, yet I lack recognition and support."

You seek attention, recognition, and understanding, which represent another kind of inner need. Consequently, you direct your attention toward other individuals, as what you desire is reflected in their behavior.

This is why your behavior and emotional state are as they are.

However, due to the lack of positive reinforcement regarding your original inner needs and the tendency to prioritize the emotional well-being of others, your situational emotional response was not effectively managed. Consequently, the initial internal challenge has been compounded by the addition of current, more fragmented concerns, leading to a build-up of pressure and an inability to achieve the desired cycle of action and reflection.

In order to make an informed decision and achieve inner peace, it is essential to understand the key considerations.

This is something we should consider.

"Seeking within" is the pursuit of self-realization and the achievement of self-standards. Once self-realization is achieved, the attention and recognition of others can be leveraged as an added value.

I hope the above responses are helpful. Best regards,

Dear Sir/Madam, Thank you for your question. I am currently engaged in a period of silent study and reflection.

Firstly, it is important to recognise that your efforts are not going unnoticed. However, it is not sufficient to simply express your feelings in the hope that they will be acknowledged. For some individuals, verbalising their emotions can facilitate a deeper understanding and appreciation of their experiences. It is crucial to acknowledge the value of your contributions and to receive recognition for them. Your actions demonstrate a caring nature and a willingness to support others. However, when you are in a vulnerable state, it is essential to receive love and care in return. The lack of acknowledgement and appreciation for your efforts, despite your consistent and dedicated contributions, can lead to feelings of discouragement and disillusionment. This can even result in a disruption to your emotional equilibrium. Despite your efforts to convince yourself that your actions are worthwhile and that your quiet dedication is commendable, your feelings indicate otherwise. You desire recognition and appreciation from your husband or family for your efforts.

It is often the case that individuals seeking support hope that the person they are talking to can understand them, rather than being told to simply let go or being given a plethora of advice. In such instances, it is beneficial to express gratitude and seek feedback from one's family, as well as to seek understanding and support from others. It is important to note that merely expressing one's feelings is not sufficient; it is also crucial to identify the appropriate individual with whom to share these feelings. However, expressing one's feelings to an inappropriate individual can potentially exacerbate one's own difficulties and lead to an intensification of negative emotions. It is essential to recognize that these challenges are not a result of personal fault and that blaming one's family and friends is not an effective approach. Instead, it may be beneficial to consider modifying one's mentality or the way in which one interacts with others.

Subsequently, a few suggestions will be provided for your consideration. It is recommended that these suggestions be tested for efficacy.

1.

It is imperative to provide your family with the opportunity to love and care for you. Those who experience suffering are often the ones who give the most. In your own home, you are the primary source of giving and also the one who bears the brunt of the consequences. You have been accused of being narrow-minded and of speaking cautiously, which suggests that you do not feel warm and harmonious within your own family. It is evident that your emotions have been accumulating for an extended period, not due to the immediate issues at hand, but because your family members have misunderstood you as being distressed over trivial matters. It is crucial to assess the significance of these emotions.

It is therefore recommended that one does not reveal all one's cards too soon. It is important to recognise that the people we love the most are not necessarily the ones who help us, but rather the ones we help. If one is always in the role of the giver, it can lead to feelings of imbalance and distress over time. It is beneficial to save some time and opportunities for one's family to give to you. However, if one gives in order to gain their affection, they may subconsciously feel that they owe you, which could result in a negative change in their attitude due to a sense of guilt. It is preferable to wait for them to love you and give you something in return. This way, the optimal state is to have a balance between what one gives and what one receives. If one continues to give without receiving anything in return, it can lead to exhaustion.

2.

It is important to allow some space in one's life for the opportunity to receive from one's family. This can lead to feelings of gratitude, which in turn can enhance one's sense of wellbeing. At the same time, it is possible to adjust one's mindset to recognise that giving is not about seeking something in return. However, this is contingent upon the assumption that one's family is also willing to give to you. In this way, we give while waiting for the return to come, rather than expecting it. If one gives and expects a return, it can lead to disappointment. Therefore, it is important to give when one wants to give, and at the same time not to ask for anything in return. However, it is important to recognise that one's giving will be rewarded. This may take the form of a tangible reward, such as a gift, or it may take longer to manifest, such as when one's family grows closer over time. In this way, one's mood can be significantly enhanced.

3.

It is imperative to cultivate self-love. Have you ever considered how you feel when you are giving?

If the request is not to your liking and you are unable to comply, you may politely decline by stating, "I am unable to accommodate your request at this time." It is not feasible to fulfill every obligation that is placed upon us. Instead, we should strive to do our best in each situation. Therefore, the next time you offer assistance, it is important to consider your willingness to do so.

If this is not the case, it is important to assert one's autonomy and say "no," even in the context of family relationships.

Accordingly, to love oneself, one must learn to decline requests from one's family members. They will comprehend this decision better and recognize that one is, like all humans, a complex being with limitations, rather than an omnipotent being.

4.

It is also important to accept one's vulnerability. All individuals experience periods of strength and vulnerability. Even the most resilient individuals possess vulnerable aspects and times within themselves. Consequently, when fatigue sets in, it is crucial to recognize the need for rest and to acknowledge that one has already contributed significantly. It is not always necessary to be in a position to provide assistance in every situation. It is, therefore, essential to take a break when necessary.

5.

The act of self-improvement is also an effective method of demonstrating self-love. Despite the significant contributions you have made to your family over the years, it is crucial to prioritize your own well-being. It is widely acknowledged that fostering a positive relationship hinges on mutual growth and development. Therefore, it is essential to ascertain whether you have carved out time for your own personal pursuits.

Do you engage in leisure activities with your friends, such as shopping, dining out, or going to the movies? Do you purchase items of clothing that you find appealing and spend a modest amount of money on yourself?

It is similarly important to prioritize one's own needs and desires. When opportunities arise, it is beneficial to engage in activities that bring you joy, to treat yourself kindly, to pursue personal growth, and to cultivate happiness within yourself. Doing so can enhance overall well-being and contribute to a more fulfilling life.

At last, some things are articulated for those who are able to comprehend them, so that we can release our burdens and feel reassured. Consequently, it is essential to select the individual with whom you share your thoughts. If you perceive that they lack the capacity to comprehend your perspective, it is advisable to refrain from attempting to convey it further. They may not possess the requisite understanding of psychology, nor may they have undergone the requisite experiences, which consequently impairs their ability to comprehend. While the world and I love you, it is imperative to cultivate self-love as a prerequisite.

Hello!

Host:

Hi there! I'm Zeng Chen, a heart exploration coach. I've read your post and I can really feel how tired and hurting you are.

I also want to say how brave you are for expressing yourself and seeking help on this platform. I'm sure it will help you to understand and recognize yourself better, and to adjust and affirm yourself.

I'd like to share some thoughts from your post that I hope will help you see yourself in a new light.

1. You've been such a great support to others, but it's important to remember to take care of yourself too.

In the post, the host mentioned that she was so tired, and sometimes she felt that even though she had tried so hard, she still couldn't get the attention and support she wanted. She was really close to breaking down. Intermittently, she felt like doing nothing, depressed and tired, and just wanted to lie down.

I can really understand how tired and broken you feel when I read this information. You try so hard to give and please!

And they might even blame you.

And they may even blame you. I know it's tough, but try to be kind to yourself too. We all make mistakes.

I can imagine it must be really tiring! After reading the post, I got the feeling that the poster had made everyone else happy but forgotten to make themselves happy.

You've been trying so hard to please everyone else, but it's important to remember to please yourself too! Let's take a moment to think about why the original poster has been trying so hard to make others happy.

Could it be that we want to be affirmed, appreciated, and liked by others? Is it because we want others to treat us the way we treat them?

[Because it is easier for people to see things from their own perspective, thinking that if they treat others this way, others will definitely treat them the same way they treat others] But in fact, giving and receiving are not the same thing? And others are not us?

2. Let's explore together why you want to "please."

In the post, the original poster always goes the extra mile to meet other people's needs. Why do you think this is? Why do you want to do this?

Psychologically speaking, "our behavior is an internal presentation of our mental activity," so there must be a reason for us to do it this way. Then perhaps we can explore it together!

This might be a helpful way for the original poster to get to know themselves better. We found from the first point that we may need others' approval, acceptance, appreciation, and so on.

Then why do you seek these needs from others? Could it be that you can't give them to yourself, so you seek them from others?

So, what are your thoughts on yourself? Do you ever feel like your sense of self-worth could be stronger?

So they need the love and acceptance of others to make up for their lack of a sense of worth?

3. It might be helpful to look at your own growth experience from an adult's perspective.

Our sense of self-worth is often related to our upbringing and our early years of education. So, the original poster might want to look back at their own upbringing. It's a good idea!

I'm wondering if you didn't get enough affirmation, appreciation, affection, and praise during your upbringing?

When we were young, we didn't have the knowledge we needed to understand ourselves. So, we learned about ourselves from the feedback of our caregivers, people around us, teachers, etc.

If these people tell us that they don't like us or approve of us, it can be really hard to love ourselves in return.

They think they're bad, poor things.

So, that's why they treated us that way. It's so important to repair this perception during our growth process, because it can affect us now.

So, host, it would be really helpful for you to look at their way of treating you with an adult's perspective to see if there is anything unreasonable about it. Do you think there are any limitations?

I'm just wondering, is that kind of parenting method scientific and healthy?

This is something we can think about now. If there's something that doesn't fit, it's okay! We just need to learn to adjust our perception of those inconsistencies.

We can even develop a more objective internal evaluation of ourselves! But when we approve of ourselves, do we still seek approval from others?

4. Accept the real you, my friend!

We all do it! We try to please others because we don't like the real us. We think the real us is not liked, so we always show the good part of ourselves to others and try to show the part that others can accept.

But the more we do this, the less the other person may like us.

Because when we don't like ourselves, it's hard for others to like us too. And when we don't treat ourselves well, it can make it difficult for others to take us seriously. So it's really important that we learn to accept and like the real us.

So, how can we accept it? Well, it simply means accepting our shortcomings, seeing our strengths, and allowing ourselves to be less than perfect.

Then we can become better! We can do this by accepting that everyone has their own shortcomings and that our strengths can make us shine and create value.

So when we allow ourselves to be less than perfect,

It's okay to accept the parts of ourselves that we cannot change. We can focus our energy on the parts that we can change, and then we will encounter a better version of ourselves. Of course, change is not that easy, but we can do it!

I really think that the host may want to learn about psychology and try to reconcile with himself. I honestly believe that this could make you happier.

I really hope these are helpful and inspiring for you! If you have any questions, you can also click to find a coach for a more in-depth exploration and work together to face your problems.

1. Please indicate the length of time that has elapsed since you last devoted attention to your own needs.

2. Do you monitor your emotional state?

3. When you are experiencing a negative emotional state, do you ever engage in self-compassionate behavior such as self-hugging?

Although I am the root of everything, it is not that I am not doing well, but that I am always looking outward for attention and support. Do I pay sufficient attention to and support myself? Do I understand myself?

1. When you are experiencing a negative emotional state, take a moment to pause and say to yourself, "Stop." Identify an activity you enjoy and engage in it to shift your focus. Once you have regained your composure, return to the task at hand with a more objective perspective.

2. What transpired? How might it be resolved?

Is your sadness a result of other people's attitudes?

Or is there another factor at play?

It is not possible to please everyone, so it is crucial to be happy with yourself. I love myself, I pay attention to myself, I pay attention to my emotions, and I understand myself, which is very important. Do not live in other people's mouths.

It is evident that not a significant number of individuals are concerned with my genuine identity. I have come to realize that I am not as indispensable as I previously believed, and therefore, I am less invested in the opinions of others. My primary focus is on self-care and self-preservation.

This is a crucial point to reiterate.

3. Engaging in physical activity can help to dissipate negative energy. It is recommended that you exercise more, read more, and love yourself!

4. In fact, I have already identified these qualities within myself, so it is important to focus on self-development and to seek these qualities within.