[Forms of Love] Can't afford a house, no motivation to continue living?

Greetings. I extend my sincerest encouragement and confidence to you in response to your query.

The challenge of purchasing a house illustrates a sense of helplessness and a lack of external support.

The individual in question experiences a sense of struggle, burden, and helplessness, which ultimately leads to a loss of confidence in their ability to navigate life's challenges.

In the absence of parental support, it is challenging to purchase a property in an urban area for a price exceeding 1 million yuan. Many young people rely on familial assistance to afford a house.

From a developmental perspective, the situation appears less desperate.

From your description, it is evident that you have developed the habit of saving money. As a young person, being able to save one or two thousand yuan a month is commendable. Currently, many young people exhibit a proclivity for spending, yet you have chosen to prioritize saving for the future.

This is a positive outcome.

Realistic difficulties are solved through self-development. The market price of a house is approximately 100, with a down payment of 50, which would result in a purchase being unaffordable until the buyer reaches their 50s. It appears that the individual in question is viewing themselves with a static perspective.

It is possible that your current income of 5,000 yuan per month may not be sustainable in five years' time. Without the support of your parents, this is a significant concern. Furthermore, if your income remains static, it is unclear what this indicates about your future financial stability.

It is recommended that career development plans be based on the individual's actual circumstances.

It may be advisable to temporarily set aside concerns about housing prices and marriage in order to focus on enhancing one's competitiveness and earning potential. In general, the following income levels are observed: manual workers, skilled workers, managers, and strategic investors (entrepreneurs and business owners). It is important to note that the knowledge and abilities required to attain these levels are becoming increasingly sophisticated.

It is essential to create a career development plan that aligns with your current circumstances. Select a field that aligns with your interests and abilities, establish a clear career trajectory, continue your learning and self-improvement, and as your competitiveness grows, your income will likely follow suit.

Furthermore, housing prices have already surpassed the period of exponential growth.

The world is an unjust place, but one can alter the circumstances within one's control.

The world is a diverse and unfair place. The only recourse is to change oneself.

From your statements, it is evident that you are relatively young. There is an old Chinese proverb that states, "Do not mistreat the poor young man."

Given your age, you possess boundless potential. It is imperative that you recognize your capabilities and avoid self-deprecation. Even if your romantic partner does not fully comprehend your circumstances, you must muster the courage to pursue personal growth and development.

It is my sincere hope that my response will prove beneficial to you, and I extend my best wishes for a happy life.

Hello. You didn't say your age, but I'm guessing you're in your 20s. You've hit a rough patch, and I'm sure anyone in the same situation would be pretty stressed, anxious, and powerless.

You've put in a lot of effort, worked hard, considered your girlfriend's advice, and talked to friends, but you still haven't found the answer. You're unsure how to achieve the goals promoted by universal values, so you're feeling lost and confused.

It's true that young people nowadays face more psychological pressure than before. They're also more bound by universal values. In the past, there were also high walls around the rich mansions, but once inside, everyone lived their own lives. We were still able to find peace in our own little worlds. But now things are different. We can see the lives of many other people, but we still can't touch them. This poses a serious problem for us: how can we find our own lives in the midst of all this turmoil?

Maybe you could try to picture what your life would be like if you bought a house in debt, and what it would be like if you didn't buy a house and just rented a place to live. When you add up all your income and spending, you might find that if you follow the so-called universal values to get out of debt based on your own foundation, life might be even more difficult, but on the other hand, it will be much easier.

We know that how we feel affects our sleep, diet, concentration, mobility, and even our thinking. Carrying heavy pressure and going light also makes people feel and think very differently about the future. So it's important to set a realistic and feasible life goal that suits you.

Think about it: even young people with stable jobs and high incomes who live in big cities like Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou, and Shenzhen will still be as troubled as you are. So you're not alone, and this is the pain of the times. But from another perspective, perhaps this problem will also change with time, and your future holds all kinds of opportunities and possibilities. For now, you might as well think more about how to make yourself stronger and be able to seize these opportunities better.

Dear Question Asker,

From your description, it appears that you may be in your 50s and are facing the challenge of meeting the down payment requirement, which is causing you significant distress. You are uncertain about how to align your financial situation with your girlfriend's expectations. I empathize with your situation.

I previously shared your perspective. I also found it challenging to accumulate sufficient funds for a down payment on a house. However, wealth accumulation does not follow a linear trajectory but rather a curvilinear pattern. As your work capacity improves, your salary will also increase, contrary to what one might expect.

It is undoubtedly the case that having parents to provide assistance can serve to reduce stress levels. However, this is not a prerequisite. When I purchased my first apartment, for example, my parents did not provide me with any financial assistance. Instead, I borrowed the remainder of the funds required to purchase my first apartment, which was a modestly-sized property. Nevertheless, I was highly satisfied with my decision.

Furthermore, the borrowed funds were promptly repaid. It is important to note that many seemingly intractable problems can be resolved through a shift in perspective.

Furthermore, your girlfriend is reluctant to communicate with you because, firstly, you are still uncertain about the matter and consistently perceive it as unattainable, which discourages her. Secondly, traditionally, owning a house is regarded as a more stable arrangement, and it is understandable that your girlfriend desires this stability.

The solution to the current problem is to actively adjust one's mentality in order to solve this matter.

It would be advisable to discuss this matter with your girlfriend and work out a solution together. One possible approach would be to calculate how much house you can afford with your current savings and how much you need to prepare. It would also be beneficial to consider the potential advantages of having a provident fund to reduce your financial burden. Furthermore, it is not necessary to pay 50% of the house price as a down payment. You can investigate this matter in greater detail.

The current situation is comfortable, and there is no pressure to change it. However, avoiding the issue will not solve it. Nobody wants to suffer or face the unknown, but remaining in a comfortable state of inaction will not provide a solution.

Additionally, it is imperative to instill within oneself the courage to confront the issue head-on and to take the initial step with fortitude.

It is my sincere hope that this information will prove to be of use to you. Sincerely,

Dear Colleague, I am unsure how to encourage you. I hope that my story will provide motivation. My husband and I met while we were still in college. Our relationship was pure at that time, because we liked someone without considering anything else.

He lost his father when he was eleven years old. His mother had a challenging time raising the three siblings and lacked savings, resulting in delays in university tuition. I face similar circumstances. I have four sisters and was born in a rural area. My parents operated a farm without a supplementary income stream, leading to my obligation to pay university tuition.

As a result, upon graduation, we were unable to receive our diplomas due to outstanding tuition payments. We commenced employment. It was 2005. I earned slightly over 300 yuan per month, and my colleague earned slightly over 600. After deducting rent and living expenses, our financial situation was severely constrained, and we still owed over 18,000 yuan in tuition.

Given our financial constraints, we opted to rent a village house that had been converted from a pigsty. The property was in a poor state of repair, with damp and unpleasant odours, and in the winter, it was uncomfortably cold. Despite these challenges, we maintained a positive outlook. We purchased shredded potatoes and boiled them on the fire to stay warm, and we envisioned a brighter future with the belief that things would eventually improve.

Subsequently, my classmates proceeded to purchase real estate and enter into matrimony. As you previously stated, the majority of them relied extensively on their parents, with some even having their parents assume the entire down payment while they themselves made the monthly mortgage repayments. They would extend invitations to us to celebrate in their new residences, which we accepted without hesitation, genuinely pleased for them. We did not feel inferior. We believed that relying on our parents was inconsequential, but relying on ourselves was commendable. Consequently, we did not envy them. Family circumstances and the role of parents are unchangeable, so the only variable that can be altered is ourselves.

Through our unremitting efforts, we discovered that we had started to save money. We did not deliberately scrimp and save because we were used to being financially constrained and never had significant materialistic demands, so we did not feel aggrieved. Our financial situation improved, and we borrowed money from the company to purchase a two-bedroom apartment.

Last year, I purchased a second three-bedroom apartment. Some of my classmates may have already purchased their third or fourth apartment, but we do not envy them. We feel that we have achieved something on our own.

I am unsure why I am unable to provide further detail, but I hope that this can provide you with the courage to face the challenges ahead. It is important to believe that success is achievable, provided that you have a positive outlook and remain determined.

You may also choose to inform your girlfriend of this development and provide her with the motivation to persevere.

Hello!

Purchasing a house has become a significant source of stress at work. Without the support of your parents, you have made an "unlikely request." The immense pressure seems to have left you with no way out, with feelings of depression, anxiety, confusion, and a sense of being overwhelmed. You even feel resentful and angry towards your parents to some extent.

There are three main things to think about:

[Work]

Your girlfriend isn't happy with your current job, but what do you think?

[Buying a house]

The mainstream value of a house is still very important to families, and it seems like you agree with this.

However, when you see the huge practical pressure of buying a house, it seems very far away from you. At the same time, your partner around you seems to have no cases of buying a house entirely on their own, which makes you feel that this seems to be a very distant and unlikely task.

One person's strength is limited, but two people's strength is much greater. Working together will also get twice the result with half the effort. You can discuss with your girlfriend:

Take your time. You have two very important resources: yourself and your time.

[Parents' demands]

It seems like your parents are going through a rough patch, and you might be feeling the strain too.

Because of practical problems, you can't get support from your parents. It seems like this is more acceptable. After all, it's great to be able to help out, and there's nothing you can do if you can't. You're responsible for your own life, and there's no doubt about it.

Dealing with your parents' demands, "one person, one set," without considering other factors, it seems like the demands are a bit "excessive." This is still a bit different from the commonly-said support obligations or responsibilities in the family, especially for you who are facing the dilemma of buying a house.

How you handle your parents' demands is up to you. You might need to rethink your relationship with your family of origin, which is something we all have to deal with.

You can talk to your girlfriend about this, but it doesn't mean she has to take on more responsibilities.

Life seems to be always accompanied by pressure. It's worth thinking about what your life will be like ten years from now.

What kind of image are you creating for yourself? Is it a hurried one or a slow one? What kind of work are you doing? What is your family like?

We're always