Friendship is as important as love. Will my boyfriend be hurt if I say this?

After reading your confession, I empathize with your confusion and concerns about the stability of your future relationship.

In your view, friendship is of equal importance to love, and you do not perceive a good friendship to be inferior to love. However, your boyfriend believes that love is more significant and has consistently placed you above his friends. You have engaged in open communication with each other and have made it clear to him that you will not neglect your friendship even when you have love. This is commendable, as it demonstrates that both parties recognize the distinct importance of love and friendship and have communicated this in advance.

It is also a precautionary measure for future contingencies.

It is, in fact, impossible to predict the future. The differing views that you and your boyfriend hold on this matter may not necessarily result in conflicts or his departure from the relationship in the future. Furthermore, seeking the advice of a psychological counselor is not a viable option.

It is important to note, however, that if one is required to dedicate a significant amount of time and energy to both romantic and platonic relationships, it may be necessary to prioritize one over the other. Given that there is only one individual and a limited amount of energy, it is often necessary to make difficult decisions about how to allocate one's resources.

I concur with your assessment that there are multiple facets to life beyond the domain of romantic love, including career, friendship, and other aspects. Your perspective reflects a depth of understanding and a breadth of experience that is commendable.

Indeed, there is no necessity to be overly concerned with matters that have yet to materialize. It is my conviction that you and your partner will ultimately make the optimal decision when the appropriate moment arises.

The aforementioned information is provided for your reference.

Good day, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to inquire about a matter that has come to my attention. Please let me know if this is not the appropriate channel for such inquiries. Best regards,

From your description, it is evident that you place a high value on your current romantic relationship. However, you have also indicated that you prioritize friendship.

You indicated that you and your partner have differing perspectives on the relative importance of love and friendship. As the saying goes, "No two leaves are the same."

Even the most closely aligned individuals may have differing perspectives.

Additionally, you inquired as to whether this would result in future conflicts or lead to your partner's departure. It appears that your primary concern is the trajectory of your relationship with your boyfriend.

It would appear that some individuals are concerned that their ideas may not be accepted or understood by their partners, and that they may even be misunderstood.

If, when conflicts arise, we treat the way the two sides handle the conflict as another opportunity to gain deeper insight into each other's perspectives and communicate more effectively, what do you anticipate will be the outcome?

The status of love in everyone's heart may vary. However, this does not preclude the ability to enjoy love and life.

The success of a long-term relationship depends on the efforts and dedication of both parties. This may require numerous adjustments before a mutually satisfactory dynamic is achieved.

I hope this information is useful to you.

Hello, host. I am honored to answer your question. Everyone's personality and childhood living environment are different, and everyone's views and perceptions of love are different. There is no right or wrong here; everyone's expectations of love are simply high or low.

I firmly believe that people's emotions should be composed of the three basic emotions of family affection, friendship, and love. This kind of emotional match is essential for our physical and mental health. We must spread our emotional needs in different areas so that when the emotional needs in a certain area are not met, we can still express our demands in other areas.

If I focus my emotional needs on one area, his needs in that area will exceed the limit that area can provide.

You're right—love isn't everything. Friendship and career can effectively compensate for the need to modify your sense of deficiency in love.

If I, like your girlfriend, use love as the emotional support for everything, it will have the same effect on him as it does on you. He will have more demands on the other half, give the other half a sense of control, and create an invisible pressure on him, thus affecting your intimate relationship.

Your girlfriend is insecure and wants an intimate relationship to satisfy her need for security. In future interactions, boost his self-confidence by encouraging and affirming him more and let him achieve small successes in his field of expertise. He'll also agree that love is not the most important thing. I'm happy to have an appointment. The world and I love you!

Your views are excellent. Our lives are full of emotions and relationships. No one is nobler than anyone else, and no one says that love is perfect. We have relationships with colleagues, friends, lovers, and family.

There are also some feelings of chance encounters, and these feelings are all very precious experiences that are part of our lives. Love is not superior to other feelings. You have your own neutral and objective values and thinking, which are worth following and pursuing. There is no need to feel disappointed in the future just because your boyfriend has different views from you.

It is completely unnecessary. If this person does not share 100% of your values and you cannot accept this difference, there is no point in getting together in the future or keeping in touch. People with different views will not get along. We are often just different people. We can still seek common ground while reserving differences. Even if the other person thinks love is more important, you can probably take their feelings into account a little more when you get along.

Discuss it with your friends before going back to your boyfriend. Your boyfriend also needs to make adjustments, consider your feelings, and not be unreasonable. Don't let him ask you to do other things while you are with your friends. Find a way to balance friendship and love. You can still agree to disagree.

Friendship is as important as love. Your partner feels that love is more important, so they will feel in the time to come that you should spend more time with him. Everyone's time is limited, but we can reasonably allocate our time rather than being coerced and controlled by the other person about what we should do. You might be worried that you'll have conflicts later, but you can work through them.

There is already a conflict. You can see what kind of attitude the other person really has. If you are willing to work through it, you can make adjustments together. If the other person is not willing to make adjustments, you also have to adjust your own mentality. Love and friendship are just a part of our lives. Some people may only accompany us for a month, while others may only accompany us for more than ten years.

You need to learn to take care of yourself because almost no one will be with you for the rest of your life. As a professional New Discovery coach, I recommend that you talk to someone so that you can find more like-minded people.

Don't be so quick to think you're wrong. It's simply that the people you meet are like that. You can also ask your trusted friends for their opinions. Good luck.

ZQ?

Hello. You are worried because you and your boyfriend have different views on friendship and love. You are worried that your boyfriend will be hurt and that he will leave one day. I can see that you care a lot about your boyfriend. I hope that your boyfriend can understand your feelings.

1. "I think friendship and love are equally important. My partner thinks love is more important and has always put me above his friends. We've talked about this, and I've told him I won't neglect friendship even when I have love. We have different views, so will this cause problems in the future?"

The questioner thinks friendship is as important as love. In real life, how does the questioner handle friendship and love? For example, friends and boyfriends are equally important. When your boyfriend is in trouble or wants to meet you, and your friends want to hang out with you too, will you choose to hang out with your boyfriend or your friends?

I don't know where your relationship is. Are you just starting, or almost married? If you're moving towards marriage, do you want to be important to your boyfriend, or do you want his friends to be important to him?

How would you feel if he left you when a friend called while you were together?

Your boyfriend values you more than his friends. He will always consider your feelings. He thinks your relationship is more important than a friendship. As the relationship develops, your thoughts may change. After you get married and have children, your thoughts may be different again.

What should I do about the questioner's worries? She can talk to her boyfriend like this: "I care about you, even when you're sad."

Talk about it.

2. Love is only a part of life. Career, interests, and friends are also important.

It's great to have friends, love, and a career. All of these things are very important. The questioner just needs to balance them in their life. This includes the future after marriage. How to arrange and allocate time is up to the questioner. No matter how you allocate your time, I support you. Live your life to the fullest!

Hope this helps.

In a romantic relationship, your partner is someone you will be with for the foreseeable future.

In regard to the nature of friendship, it is important to recognize that it is subject to change based on various factors.

It is beneficial to have two or three long-term friends with their own families. In other words, when everyone has their own family, friendship is often less important than love.

Ultimately, love will prevail. You will support each other and respect each other as guests in a hotel. You will have your own children, and when they grow up and leave home, I envision a scenario in which you watch the sunset together, snuggled up close to each other, not knowing which day you will leave each other and make each other endure the pain of losing themselves.

When I was younger, I placed a high value on friendship, even going so far as to suggest that it was more important than love. I viewed friendship as a lifelong commitment, but in hindsight, that perspective was naive. Many of the individuals I once considered to be the most significant in my life have since become mere acquaintances.

My closest associates are still two or three individuals. While we do not maintain constant communication, we can rely on each other to discuss challenges openly. We are committed to providing support when needed. In essence, this is the essence of friendship.

It would be impractical to pester someone like a couple every day when they have a family and children.

I can engage in lighthearted teasing with my husband, watch TV and eat fruit with him, engage in flirtatious banter, sleep in the same bed with him, and collaborate with him on strategies for enhancing our future material and spiritual well-being. I can also listen to him discuss his work-related concerns.

Listening to him discuss other individuals, regardless of their emotional state, and remaining a constant presence in his life. We will have the benefit of a loving relationship in the future, and when we are older, we will have the opportunity to reflect on our shared history.

Indeed, aside from the comparison of parental figures, the most significant aspect of my life is love. Alternatively stated, the most crucial element of life is the establishment of one's own familial unit.

There is nothing inappropriate about this decision. I am the one who openly acknowledges that I prioritize romantic relationships over friendships.

Naturally, the fundamental requirement is that the individual in question is the optimal choice for a romantic partner.

Hello, my name is Jia Ao Bu Xun.

I can see that you're concerned and uncertain. You say that friendship and relationship-and-his-pursuit-of-fairness-indicate-a-correct-love-philosophy-14203.html" target="_blank">love are equally important to you, but your partner feels that love is more important. It's clear that you value friendship greatly and have strong opinions of your own. You always stick to your ideas and haven't abandoned your friends because you're in love. You're now worried that your partner will be saddened by your thoughts and ideas, so you're seeking guidance on how to improve the situation. Is that correct?

If I may, I would like to take a moment to analyze and sort things out for you.

It is important to allow for differences in opinion.

Everyone is different, and that's a wonderful thing. We all have our own unique growth experiences, personalities, and temperaments, and of course, our thoughts and views are all different. It's important to embrace these differences with an open mind. From your perspective, you must have very reliable and trustworthy friends. You will not give up your hard-won friendships just because of love. You always stand firm in your views and positions. You are a sentimental person who loves and hates with all your heart. I won't lie to you; I think pretty much the same as you, and I also value friendship very much.

Your partner's willingness to prioritize your relationship shows that they care about you and value it above other relationships. There's nothing wrong with this. It's natural to want your partner to care about you when you're in a relationship with them. Your concern for their feelings also demonstrates your care and consideration.

It would be beneficial to establish good communication.

I'm glad you chose to communicate well the first time there was a conflict in your values. You expressed your true inner desire: "Having love doesn't mean ignoring friendship." He responded by saying that his love for you is more important than anything else. From your respective perspectives, there is nothing wrong with either of you, except that you have not established a good communication model.

It's never too late to address these issues. When there are conflicts and contradictions, it's important to communicate effectively, even if it means letting the other person know that you care. It's essential to find a way to communicate that is acceptable to the other person. While you value friendship, it's also important to prioritize love.

Perhaps you feel that both friends and career are important, which could indicate that you are not in love. Your partner values love now, but that doesn't mean he won't have his own friends in the future. It might therefore be helpful to communicate more often so that there are fewer conflicts. If you communicate effectively, the problems you are worried about may not happen.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider this from a different perspective.

Love and friendship are not mutually exclusive; they are both invaluable in life. Prior to experiencing love, friendship is undoubtedly more crucial, but once you have love, you will have an additional concern in your heart. Love and friendship are intricately connected and distinct, and they complement each other. Neither is indispensable; both require nurturing and care.

It is important to recognise that the focus of our relationships will naturally shift as we progress through different stages of life. When it comes to love and friendship, it is essential to maintain a balanced perspective that encompasses both. It is crucial to ensure that all those who love us are placed in the most important position, and that our relationships are cherished and nurtured. It is also important to avoid favouring one side over the other or deliberately staying away from one side. Love and friendship are equally important, and it is not possible to weigh one against the other.

May I suggest that you cherish each moment?

It could be said that the three most important emotions in life are love, friendship, and family. Each plays a different role in our lives. It might also be said that love and friendship are not comparable. Love is a process. When love does not end in marriage, friendship is most important. A close friend can accompany you through the lows of life.

When love bears fruit and you successfully enter into marriage, your spouse will gradually become more important than your friends. You will start a family together and have children, while friends will still maintain a certain amount of space and distance, and will not always be in contact. But when there is a need, they will all appear. This is perfectly normal, and there is nothing wrong with your partner's position. It simply shows that he is a non-family-oriented person with a strong sense of responsibility!

It is important to recognize that friendship and love are both significant aspects of life, and their influence varies depending on the stage of life one is in. If circumstances allow, it would be wonderful to experience both of these profound emotions in one's life, and I wish you both the best in your relationships.

I hope my answer is helpful. I wish you all the best.

Hello, question asker! I am the answerer, Enoch.

From the questioner's description, it seems that there may be a difference of opinion between the questioner and her lover about the importance of love in their lives. The questioner is also concerned that this difference may lead to conflicts in their relationship and that her lover may leave her. The questioner is unsure of the best way forward.

First, let's consider whether the idea that "love is as important as friendship" is a reasonable assumption. It's often the case that our partners, especially after marriage, will accompany us for the rest of our lives, sharing both our triumphs and our challenges, and supporting us through both good times and bad. Some believe that love is about finding your other half, and that in the process of getting to know each other, you become more complete. Friendship is different, however. Some friends may be there to help you in your time of need, while others may be there for the good times but not the bad. A lover, on the other hand, will generally be there for you through every stage of your life, including sickness, old age, and death, and will never leave your side.

It could be said that love is generally more important than friendship.

Secondly, it seems that the relationship between the questioner and his lover is not unreasonable. The questioner's lover treats the questioner as very important, while the questioner treats the other party as a friend. However, if this continues for a long time, it may have an impact on the other party's psychology and could be inconsistent with their views on love. This could potentially lead to the two parties separating.

I hope the questioner will consider updating their views in light of these insights. I also hope the questioner will be able to handle this relationship well, cherish the person who now sees them as important, and not regret it when the other person leaves.

Hello, I'm Whale Social Worker Kiss the Wind, and I'm here to help!

It's true that boys and girls often think differently. After all, there are so many people in the world, and everyone thinks differently! Some people feel that love is more important than friendship, while others feel that they are equally important and both are needed.

Another thing I've noticed is that girls often have wider attention spans. They can pay attention to lots of different things at once! Boys, on the other hand, tend to focus on one thing at a time.

In his heart, you may really be much more important than his friends, but in your heart, girls sometimes feel that girls understand themselves better, so they will correspondingly feel that friendship is also very important. In fact, they are all very important and indispensable in our lives. If we always put all our energy into love, then if one day when love is gone, we will feel that our whole world is gone.

I know it can be tough to find time for yourself, but I really think it's important to have a good chat with your boyfriend and share your thoughts with him. After all, relationships are so important in our lives!

Wishing you all the best! (Yixinli Whale Social Worker)

Dear Question Asker,

The question of whether friendship or love is more important has been a topic of debate since ancient times. There is no consensus on this matter, and as a result, I found the questioner's inquiry intriguing.

It is evident that there is no definitive answer to the question of which is more important, friendship or love. This raises the question of why this question is even posed.

This is closely related to the questioner's self-perception and upbringing.

The questioner espouses the view that love constitutes only a part of life, and that career interests and friends are also of great importance. It is assumed that, in the context of love, friendship will not be neglected. However, the partner in question holds the view that love is of greater importance than friendship.

The current concern is that conflicting opinions and values will result in interpersonal discord, potentially leading to a dissolution of the relationship.

The questioner's belief that love and friendship are equally important contrasts with their partner's belief that love is more important than friendship. Given that what one perceives is what one acts on, it is inevitable that there will be conflict.

In the absence of consensus, the potential for conflict and hurt feelings is high.

In ancient times, there were notable examples of relationships that transcended the conventional boundaries of love and friendship. The story of Yu Boer and Zhong Ziqi's "high mountains and flowing water," and Liu, Guan and Zhang's "three oaths" in the Peach Blossom Spring during the Three Kingdoms period exemplify this phenomenon. In modern history, the comradeship of the Chinese revolution also provides a compelling illustration of the primacy of friendship over love.

However, these are merely exceptional manifestations that emerge during specific historical eras.

A specific form of loyalty is referred to as "brotherhood." This concept is exemplified by the phrase, "Brothers are like hands and feet, women are like clothes."

This idea, or the influence of this idea, gives rise to the notion that friendship is of greater consequence than love, or that friendship and love are of equal importance.

The notion that love is of greater consequence than friendship is a reflection of contemporary values, and it is the implication that the law expressly provides for it. The marital relationship is a form of direct family relationship, and it is of greater importance than that of parents and children. Therefore, there is no inherent problem with a partner defining love as being above friendship.

I would like to offer my personal opinion on this matter.

I serve as a beacon of guidance, illuminating the path ahead and expressing my profound love for you.

Everyone is a beacon! When you ask a question or answer one, your words can illuminate the hearts of many people. This is our shared energy!

Hello! I'm Fei Yun, a heart exploration coach, and I'm thrilled to have this chance to chat with you about love and friendship.

From your writing, I understand that you and your partner have different views on whether love or friendship is more important, which has caused you confusion and worry about whether your differing views will affect your future relationship. But don't worry! This is an opportunity for growth and understanding.

Guess what! Everyone has different judgments about people and things, and multiple existences are allowed.

We are used to judging a person or an event based on our own values and feelings, and it's a great thing! Having values means having judgments, and judgments are beliefs.

But don't be stubborn! Allowing only the judgment you hold to exist, but unwilling to accept other possibilities, will create "confining beliefs" that will lead to limitations in your own life and even affect your relationships.

The truth of a matter often comes from looking at it from multiple perspectives. And it's a great idea to discuss this topic with your partner, because you'll both get more inspiration and see more possibilities!

If you treat problems as directions, then arguments, conflicts, and disagreements are inevitable. But if you treat problems as partners, they become amazing opportunities for better communication and understanding! Isn't this turning problems into resources and advantages?

The great thing is, you can both learn more about why the other person thinks this way and what kind of needs they care about having met!

For example, if he thinks that love is more important, then he feels more valued in the relationship, which is great! If you think that friendship is more important, you want to be fully respected by him and maintain your independence and freedom, which is also a wonderful thing.

People generally consider love and friendship more important for a good reason! Love is more intimate, and that's why it's so special. Traditionally, it's thought that it's the intimate lover, not the friend, who will ultimately accompany us through life – how exciting is that?

2. Embrace the joy of maintaining an intimate relationship with your partner while also having your own independent part of your life!

Absolutely! Love is just one part of life. There are also family ties, friendships, work, studies, and so much more!

However, at different stages of life, there are different important tasks to be completed, such as studies, which are basically completed before the age of 25, while love and marriage are basically completed before the age of 30.

Life is like a playground, and there are rules to follow as we go through this journey.

You have different views on your relationship, and you worry that it will affect the future of your relationship. But deep down, you should be able to feel that the other person wants you to meet their needs!

Love is one-of-a-kind and can't be shared. It's like a treasure you can't give away! Intimacy means being free from fear.

You feel completely secure in the presence of your loved one, and it's a wonderful feeling!

Just imagine for a moment that you could spend time with your intimate lover while also harboring in your heart someone who is just as important to you as your lover, or even more important! It's an amazing thought, isn't it?

Love and friendship are both part of our lives, and they're both amazing! How you weigh them depends not only on you, but also on the feelings of your loved one.

When you're out there interacting with others, it's really important to pay attention to your sense of boundaries. If you hurt your lover's sense of boundaries, you'll destroy the sense of security in the relationship.

I really hope the above is helpful to you! And I just want to say, the world and I love you! ??

If you want to continue the conversation, just click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom! I can't wait to communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

Hello, I'm Strawberry!

From what you've told me and your concerns, it seems like this is a common question, but it's also different for everyone, so there's no one right answer!

The questioner believes that friendship and love are equally important. I think that you have experienced so much with your friends! You have grown so much, and when love hasn't yet appeared, you may think that friendship is more important than love.

These days, love and friendship go hand-in-hand! The questioner sees them as one and the same, but her boyfriend has a different take. He thinks the questioner's way of thinking is a bit off the mark, which has led to a bit of a clash of opinions.

Analysis: Different Perceptions

The people we meet, the experiences we have, and the education we receive all shape our perceptions in amazing ways! Add to that the different ways men and women think, and it's totally normal for the questioner and her boyfriend to have different perceptions.

Love may come later in life, but friendship is always there at the beginning! When you find friends you click with, who you have unforgettable experiences with, and who you can rely on through thick and thin, you know you've found something truly special.

Analysis – He's eager to share his views with the questioner!

The boyfriend feels that love comes before friendship, and he even had a conflict with the questioner over this issue. He has his own ideas because he cares about the questioner and loves the questioner, so he is willing to put the questioner first. From this perspective, it seems that the boyfriend is willing to spend more time with the questioner and spend less time with his friends, which is great because it shows how much he cares about the questioner!

But he's so passionate about his ideas that he's eager to share them with the questioner, and he wants to make sure she sees things his way. It's a bit immature, but love is about tolerance and understanding, right?

☀️ Solution: Communication is the bridge of every relationship – and it's a beautiful thing!

From the questioner's description, it's clear that she's an independent woman with strong abilities and a clear sense of self. When she knows that her boyfriend's views differ from her own, she doesn't lose herself because of love — she stands her ground!

The good news is that there is a solution to this problem! All you need is effective communication. If you both just focus on expressing your own ideas, then what the other person hears is a rebuttal. But there is a better way! One party can choose to listen first, and let the other person give an example of why they think there must be an order to love and friendship. By understanding the example, you can understand the concept, and then express your own experiences and why you feel this way.

☀️ Solution: Which relationship is worth more to you?

There's absolutely no conflict between friendship and love! It's just that for the questioner's boyfriend, it's become a prioritization problem. Why does he care so much? Could it be because the questioner's boyfriend had a conflict with your friend?

I remember when I was in school, my best friend fell in love first. Before class, we would go to the square near the school and sit and chat. I would give her and her boyfriend more time alone, sitting in one pavilion while they sat in the other. He once told my best friend why he always brought me along as a third wheel. After hearing this, I stopped going out with them, but my friendship with my best friend did not become weaker because of this. In fact, it's stronger than ever! Until now, our friendship has been more than 20 years, and our respective significant others all know each other and get along well.

The answer to that question is still out there, waiting for us to find it! If the questioner's boyfriend still feels that the questioner's way of thinking is wrong after communication, and forces the questioner to choose between friendship and love, then the questioner should think about why he is putting himself in this dilemma. Is this love or control?

I really hope my answer helps the questioner! Best wishes!