From a young age, I lacked the ability to communicate with others. My girlfriend is the only meaning in my life. Who can change me?

Hello, OP.

I am going to hug you and comfort your pessimistic, desperate, and lonely heart!

From your post, it's clear that your world has collapsed and that the people you like have left you.

You feel as if the whole world has abandoned you. You don't know what the point of continuing to live is. You are therefore very pessimistic and desperate.

You feel lost and helpless, right?

I don't know what your upbringing was like, what kind of person you really are, or how your depression has affected you.

I want to tell you this:

These emotional experiences will also have a different kind of gain for you.

For example, you realize:

You have no self left when you pour all your emotions into your favorite woman.

When a woman leaves you, your self-identity falls apart!

You need a woman you love to affirm your values and self-identity.

If you can't do without these women who love you and you love them, you should try something new and different.

There's another world out there.

For example, you could be a careerist, a good buddy, or there might even be other, better women waiting for you in the distance.

If you don't know how to communicate and interact with others, how did the previous two relationships come about?

Their existence and the fact that they have spent so much time with you is proof positive that you can get along with people!

If you have a shortcoming in your relationships,

It's likely because you don't know how to get along with people or manage intimate relationships!

In every intimate relationship, you lose your sense of self-boundaries and give away your whole self with ease.

This is why the breakup or cheating caused such a collapse.

You need to break up.

First, you must deal with your grief.

The woman who leaves you takes away more than just this person. She also takes away the love that women have once brought you.

You need to have a farewell ceremony or mourning ceremony, no matter what.

Say goodbye to all of this!

Next, you must reflect on what you have gained from these two emotionally traumatic experiences.

Name one thing you are grateful for.

I am certain that the years you spent with them have given you emotional comfort and the sense of attachment and happiness brought about by intimacy.

Reflection: When you have no self and revolve completely around your girlfriend, it is a symbiotic relationship. For the other person,

Your love suffocates the other person. No girl can bear this kind of controlling love.

You need to reflect on and learn from how to manage the next relationship.

Finally, I want to remind you of something important.

From a broken intimate relationship, you should consider spending time alone, learning to be alone, and learning to be independent in your personality.

You will not be hurt by the breakup when managing the next relationship.

Come on!

I am counselor Yao. You can count on me to support and care about you!

Hello, I can see that you're feeling confused. Please accept my warmest regards.

I sense that you may be experiencing some relationship challenges. I extend to you my deepest sympathies.

I wonder if your current problem might be related to your sense of security.

It might be helpful to consider that your sense of security can be traced back to your infancy and is likely connected to your relationship with your mother.

Perhaps it would be helpful to think back to how your mother reacted when you cried.

I wonder if perhaps she ignored your crying and continued with her own business.

If so, there is a possibility that you may grow up to become an insecure person, which could make you cling to the girl of your dreams as if she were your own lifeline.

To address your current challenges, it may be helpful to consider the underlying causes of your sense of security.

Finding the root cause of the problem is the best way to prescribe the right remedy.

So, the question is, what would be the best course of action now?

If it is an option for you, I would suggest seeking the help of a professional counselor.

Given that your current issue falls within the realm of the original family, I believe it would be more beneficial to seek the guidance of a professional psychological counselor than that of an instant listener.

I truly hope that the issue you're currently facing can be resolved in a timely and effective manner.

I hope I have provided you with some helpful insights. I wish you the best in your endeavors.

I hope my above answer is helpful and inspiring to you. I am the respondent, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we extend our warmest regards to you and wish you the best.