Has done something embarrassing at school, is transferring schools a better option?

Good morning,

Let's give ourselves a little pat on the back, child.

If you feel bad, it's okay to cry. This is a normal reaction to difficult situations. Even adults sometimes need to cry to release their emotions when they encounter problems they cannot solve on their own. Our desire to be recognized by our peers can make us feel sad.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that not all Minions are the same.

They are all very cute, with adorable eyes, but they all look different and have different personalities, so they behave in different ways, right?

Perhaps we could also imagine ourselves as a different little yellow person, with different actions and expressions? Would that be strange? I don't think so. And just because I made an unintentional mistake, should I take the blame or be ostracized by others?

There is no need to answer. Just as we can show understanding to someone who occasionally does something embarrassing, we can also do so in this case. This is not a mistake that needs to be punished.

Could you please advise me on how to regulate my emotions and play normally with my friends?

1. Perhaps it would be helpful to try to let go of the idea that "I did something embarrassing."

When a classmate vomits, friends will often offer assistance because vomiting is a common physical emergency. It is a form of empathy that we have learned since childhood and that we are most comfortable using to comfort the sick. However, when faced with other unexpected situations, children may lack the cognitive ability to respond effectively. In a hurry, they may either freeze or be unsure of what to do, but they will likely be more worried about "me."

I believe that as a person involved, I can help by building up my self-confidence. I am no different from anyone else; it is just a very normal misunderstanding. My classmates' memories will instantly change to the cheerful image of me now. Of course, there may also be some classmates who, for no reason, like to blame me. That is their problem. It could also be seen as a lack of empathy for students in need of help, which is something we can all work on.

2. It might be helpful to try putting yourself in other people's shoes and letting go of any negative thoughts that might be holding you back.

When I was younger, I often found myself worrying about various things. My friends would often say, "Why worry? Things won't necessarily change just because you worry about them." They would say things like that to try to irritate me. At the time, I was amazed by their words and found myself unconsciously healing. They had a point, but we often want to think in a certain way and end up thinking more negatively and more extreme thoughts as a result.

The idea of transferring schools is also a result of panic and a feeling of weakness, and it is a hasty decision. However, this is essentially an evasive approach to the problem. If we put ourselves in other people's shoes, it's possible that not everyone will think the same way. Even if most people think the same way, there is no shortage of those who treat us gently and support me. I believe it's important to consider these individuals and not give up on them.

3. It might be helpful to remember that everything will pass, and not to take it too seriously.

Perhaps it would be helpful to reflect on what you ate at noon yesterday.

If it isn't too much trouble, could you possibly remember?

It might take a little time. Similarly, classmates are full of vitality and energy, and most of their attention is scattered every day without knowing where to put it. They may have a deep impression of some things, but they will still forget them over time, because as you grow up, you gradually realize that everyone is more interested in things related to themselves, and for other people, except for family members, it is believed that it is difficult to keep their memories fresh.

I wonder if I might ask why I always feel like I'm in "hell"?

I know it's tough, but I promise you it'll be okay.

I hope your day is filled with joy and contentment.

Hello, classmate!

I don't think you're the only one who has experienced feeling too embarrassed to tell the teacher you need to go to the bathroom during class. I can imagine it must have been really difficult for you. In fact, I know it can be hard to speak up in front of your classmates, but I'm here to tell you that you're not alone. I'm here to support you. I know you might have even considered transferring to another school because of this experience, but I want you to know that you're not alone. I'm here to help.

What are your thoughts on this situation?

I know it was an open class, so your mind was on high alert. I know you would've spoken up if you could have, and I admire your courage.

You stuck it out for so long, but then you couldn't quite make it to the end. I feel for you, but I understand you more.

As animals in human clothing, we have many instincts that we cannot control. So, there's really no need to blame yourself too much, my friend.

I'm not sure how the teacher will comment on this, but I think it's important for them to explain to the students why this is happening. Some students covering their noses is a bit much, don't you think?

I think we should feel sad for this kind of student, because it's not right to make fun of someone who's feeling hurt or embarrassed. But we can't ask others what to do.

Before, when a classmate vomited, you saw your classmates come to help. Now you see a certain classmate being rejected.

It's totally normal to feel a bit out of sorts. Let's focus on the classmate who vomited. I'm sure he feels just as embarrassed as you do, but he might feel like it's beyond his control.

So, don't be too hard on yourself, sweetie.

I really don't think you have to worry about whether any of your classmates will laugh at you at school. But you know, there might be a possibility that some rebellious classmates who are going through puberty may deliberately hurt you. I'd be really angry for you and feel so sad for those inconsiderate people.

Should we transfer schools because of this? I think the most important thing for high school students is to study, if it is for the sake of studying better.

I really think that changing schools is a great idea. But I'm not sure it's absolutely necessary to change schools just to avoid embarrassment.

Just wait and see if it's okay to make a change.

And at the time, only your classmates and the teacher in the classroom saw it.

Not everyone in school knows, and even if it does spread, it's no big deal! It's just a thing in the past, and you're still the same amazing person you were before.

And you can still study hard and meet a better, more confident version of yourself. When you talk about your experiences on stage one day, you may also be able to laugh about it. Looking at life in close-up is a tragedy, but looking at life in a long shot is a comedy.

I hope this is a reminder to you, and I wish you all the happiness in the world, my dear girl.

Good morning, I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to you today in my capacity as a question asker. I would like to extend my warmest regards to you.

My name is Xiaobai, and I am here to help. I hope I can be of assistance in resolving your concerns.

I have carefully reviewed your question and would like to extend a supportive gesture.

I sense that you may be experiencing some distress. I empathize with your situation and want to extend a supportive gesture.

I would like to take this opportunity to offer my views and suggestions, which I hope will be of assistance to you.

If it's just a short-term assignment, it's important not to take it too seriously.

In this vast world, you are insignificant and unimportant. Everyone is busy with their own affairs, rushing to the hospital for a loved one, studying hard for an exam tomorrow, running around for an event... You are just a passerby, a speck of dust, unimportant. All you need to do is be your best self tomorrow.

Ultimately, your actions will be forgotten, except for the impression that you did something embarrassing, similar to a story that has been forgotten. If you do not want to look it up, it will be buried in the dust forever.

Please be assured that with the passage of time, all embarrassing moments will be erased, including those that previously caused you to feel socially isolated.

❤️ Fortune will make you forget everything. If Jack Ma had been in a position of financial disadvantage, it is unlikely that he would have expressed a lack of interest in money in the same way.

It is important to remember that achievements will fade into the background, and that no one will care about Venus's status in the entertainment industry. It is also unlikely that anyone will continue to discuss her gender and hold it against her.

When you are young, you may view those with weaker connections and less influential circles as inferior. However, as you grow older, you will realize that these individuals possess valuable resources and networks that you may not have access to.

I encourage you to focus on self-improvement and to disregard the opinions of insignificant individuals.

View this as an opportunity to enhance your resilience. Cultivate a resolute and determined mindset.

Once you have reached a sufficient level of strength, these issues will appear to be of little consequence when viewed from a distance. It was not your intention, and the circumstances were beyond your control.

In the future, it would be advisable to be more assertive and avoid repeating the same mistake. Should this result in some friends distancing themselves, it is likely that you will be able to identify those who are truly supportive.

A reliable associate will provide support and guidance when faced with such challenges.

Do not dwell on the matter; simply enjoy each day.

My name is Xiaobai, and I hope my response is helpful to you.

I wish you the best of luck!

Your additional details have given me a fascinating insight into the difficulties and dilemmas you face after the incident.

It is indeed difficult to deal with such a public event that is like a public execution when you are sensitive and vulnerable inside. But don't worry! In response to your additional information, I'm excited to share the following tips that I hope will further support you:

First, try to comfort yourself as you would your best friend if she were in the same situation.

After experiencing this incident, you are like a frightened bird desperately wanting to escape from this environment. This kind of thinking and approach is very common and understandable, so don't worry!

I really hope you can find time to take care of yourself first. That way, you can see the constraints imposed by objective factors in such matters, rather than your subjective unreasonable behavior.

If this has happened to you, it may not be easy to comfort yourself. But don't worry! There's a simple solution. Just try changing roles. Imagine your best friend has encountered something like this, and how you could help her.

What would you say to her?

This is a great way to gain some psychological space for yourself and find a breathing space from this dilemma!

2. Get ready to discover a whole new way of thinking! "What goes in, stays in" is a form of addiction.

It's fascinating how society has a natural prejudice about which channel food comes out of. Coming out of the mouth is often seen as a sign and symbol of poor health, which easily wins the understanding and sympathy of others. This makes it easy for others to care for and help clean up, which is great! Coming out of the anus, on the other hand, is often synonymous with filth. This can easily make others think of related unpleasant or even disgusting scenes, which is a good thing because it means they're paying attention to their health!

So, the reactions of your classmates are probably not directed at you personally. They're simply responding to the different perceptions that different channels bring!

3. Understanding shame is the key to making the best decision about whether to transfer schools.

Guess what? The feeling of "shame" often hides the meaning of "not good enough."

Have you never experienced this before? Or have you had experiences of "disgrace" or "shame" before?

First experience

I'd love to know exactly what you're worried about! Especially since you said you're sensitive and vulnerable.

At the age of 17, we are particularly concerned about external evaluations, and our personal characteristics may be more easily influenced by external factors.

So, let's try to see our own internal shame and be concerned about: Will my classmates think I'm someone who doesn't know how to behave in a civilized manner? Or someone with particularly poor self-control?

Or is he someone who is still learning to know when or where to draw the line?

There's a great chance to clear up any confusion and share your thoughts. The first reaction from others is usually based on their own past experiences and guesses about what happened.

So let's seize the chance to set the record straight with those who don't know the truth and are only basing their opinions on their own experiences. We can do it in a way that is righteous and honorable!

And for those who refuse the truth and just live in their own world, trying to be carefree and not explain it again is also a way to let yourself off the hook.

Absolutely! If this is really difficult for you to accept now, you can also communicate your concerns honestly with your parents, weigh the pros and cons of transferring schools, and make a decision that is best for your growth.

2. If you have had a similar experience in the past,

Then, you can look back and see how you did it! You got through that experience and gained strength from it to meet this challenge.

If this is really difficult for you to accept now, you can also communicate your concerns honestly with your parents, weigh the pros and cons of transferring schools, and make the decision that is best for your growth. You can do it!

Or, as you said, seek psychological counseling and use this incident to embark on an incredible journey of self-discovery! Turn this embarrassment into nourishment for a more mature and better future.

I'm a psychologist who cares about your heart, not about exploring human nature. I wish you the best!

Hello, I'm Flower, and I'm here to help!

First of all, I want to give the questioner a big hug! I feel the embarrassment, grievance, and confusion of the questioner throughout this incident, as well as some of the thoughts after it happened. Let's try to sort out the impact this incident has had on the questioner:

The questioner in the second year of high school felt that "asking for leave to go to the toilet during an open class" was a bit embarrassing.

The questioner felt the "disgust" of his classmates when he couldn't hold it in and came too late.

The questioner has been called a parent, which is a great sign that she's thinking about this matter in a mature way.

The questioner is facing an exciting new challenge: deciding whether to transfer schools and whether to go to school.

From the above four points, corresponding to the emotions that the questioner feels, I would like to share with the questioner some incredible knowledge and amazing methods to deal with our emotions:

Be bold and express your needs!

After the questioner has experienced this embarrassing incident and then reviews it again, which do you think is more embarrassing: "asking for leave to go to the toilet during an open class" or "not holding it in and going to the toilet in the classroom during an open class"? Everyone has to go to the toilet sometimes, and it's not always possible to hold it in. This incident also teaches us that when we have a reasonable need, we can speak up about it, so as to avoid an even more embarrassing situation.

I'm amazed that no one covered their nose when someone threw up in class before! And someone else was still concerned about comforting and helping with the cleanup. It just goes to show that we are all similar in nature, don't we?

Let's compare two scenarios: vomiting in the classroom vs. going to the toilet in the classroom.

Have you ever wondered what vomiting is all about? It's a fascinating phenomenon that can happen to anyone, anytime! When someone is vomiting, it's a sign that they're not feeling well and are experiencing nausea and discomfort. This is when classmates come to the rescue, helping each other to dispose of the vomit and comforting the person who vomited. It's a great way to show support and care for one another!

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to go to the bathroom in a classroom? It's a private matter that can't be done in front of a large crowd, which makes it a bit tricky for students to clean up the toilet excrement. But it's an interesting thought, isn't it?

I bet the OP doesn't like cleaning the toilet either!

So, the essence of the feeling is the same. It's a physiological essence, both are excretions, but people experience emotions differently, so the way they deal with it is also different – and that's what makes us all so fascinatingly unique!

How do you look at this "embarrassing thing"?

This embarrassing event may have brought the questioner a less than positive emotional experience before, during, and after the event. But it also gave the questioner a chance to grow and learn! Before the event, the questioner struggled internally. During the event, the questioner felt rejected by his classmates. After the event, there were comments from teachers and parents.

The questioner can also think about it differently. In fact, asking for leave to go to the toilet in an open class is not a very embarrassing thing, is it? If the questioner asks for leave, they'll get a great response!

My classmates might laugh a little, but it will just pass. So when we don't ask for leave and something even more embarrassing happens, try to look at it from a positive perspective! This incident has suddenly made the questioner well-known and attracted attention. Experiencing the feeling of being noticed occasionally may also be an opportunity in life, right?

I'd love to go back to school, but I'm not sure if I can in my current state. Maybe I could transfer?

How can we sensitive and vulnerable people face others with confidence?

Of course, we can go back to school and study! We may get feedback from the people around us, but this embarrassing incident is just a trivial thing in our lives. Everyone's memories will always be overwritten by new things, so let's focus on the future! With the passage of time, no one will mention this incident again. Should you transfer schools?

If the questioner is simply transferring schools because of this embarrassing incident, they may want to consider the following:

So, what can we sensitive and vulnerable people do? We can try to laugh at the situation and let other people's words drift away with the wind!

We can also try to laugh at ourselves: "Oops, I just couldn't hold back that time. I'm sorry about that, ha ha!" The questioner can also try to shift their attention to something unrelated to this embarrassing event and go after what they want.

I really hope this helps the questioner out, and I wish them all the best!

A salutation to the landlord.

It is distressing to observe the manner in which you were treated when this incident occurred, as well as your interactions with other individuals. Additionally, the circumstances surrounding your mother's involvement at the school remain unclear.

Please describe your mother's attitude, words, and actions towards you after you left school. You have not provided this information in your self-description. Therefore, I will provide possible scenarios and my views on the two important issues you have raised for your reference. If any of the scenarios are inappropriate, please disregard them.

Firstly, with regard to the original poster's account, it is notable that some individuals displayed a deliberate act of disgust, as evidenced by their covering of their noses. This is in contrast to the author's own previous experience, where such an action was not observed in the same situation. In the previous instance, when a classmate vomited, there were individuals who demonstrated care and assistance in cleaning up the aftermath.

The question, then, is whether we are essentially the same.

The question thus arises as to why vomiting is tolerated and cared for, whereas incontinence is not.

This phenomenon is related to some of our evolved, inherent physiological responses.

Food is perceived as appealing and delicious, and clean food is essential for survival. Consequently, people associate food with positive attributes such as cleanliness and usefulness. This further influences how people perceive food, even making vomit less repulsive. However, this is not the case with excrement, which is perceived as dirty, useless, and unpleasant.

In addition, the common knowledge and perceptions of the causes and self-control abilities associated with vomiting and incontinence can influence attitudes and responses towards those who engage in these behaviors.

Although there are significant individual differences between people, there are also considerable commonalities in many respects and to a considerable extent. For example, while excretion is involuntary in infancy, it is possible to train the bowels to function within a normal range by the age of three.

Therefore, it is assumed that each individual is fully responsible for regulating their own bowel movements. Typically, this level of self-control is regarded as absolute, with individuals believed to possess complete control over their bowel movements.

It is presumed that individuals are aware of their own need for bathroom facilities and whether it is preferable to wait an additional 30 seconds before using them, rather than losing control.

Furthermore, the act of urination and defecation is a widely accepted method of excretion in society. It can be assumed that humans have not undergone a historical stage of "urinating and defecating indiscriminately," but the contamination of the hygiene environment caused by this has led to an adverse impact on the health of the population. Therefore, the act of urination and defecation has gradually become the social norm for humans to dispose of their own excrement. It can be argued that our words and actions always affect the people around us and the environment. For words and actions that we can fully control, we need to set standards to maintain a friendly and conducive environment to health.

If an individual does not choose to use the restroom immediately when they need to defecate, but instead defecates on the spot, the responsibility for this action lies entirely with that person's own subjective will. The impact of such behavior on others is considered to be socially irresponsible. It is not perceived as a result of an illness that makes the individual unable to control themselves or as a sign of weakness. Rather, it is viewed as a personal choice that others should not have to bear the burden of. When others are exposed to the unpleasant feelings caused by excrement, they will also choose to cover their noses to reduce their negative feelings.

However, there is a distinction to be made between vomiting and other forms of digestive distress. It is unlikely that an individual would consume food with the intention of vomiting it back up. In most cases, the cause of vomiting is a disease, which the individual has no control over (with the exception of those who deliberately induce vomiting through gagging themselves due to excessive drinking or eating, or other psychological factors).

From an evolutionary perspective, the act of vomiting may have been a crucial survival mechanism. For instance, expelling poisonous food prevents further poisoning, and reducing the burden on the digestive tract when an individual is sick increases the likelihood of survival.

In other words, it is assumed that individuals have no control over their own vomiting. Neither the occurrence nor the timing of vomiting can be predicted or controlled. There is no designated space for vomiting, as it is not a socially accepted behavior. The act of vomiting is an involuntary response to illness and is an isolated event. Therefore, the individual experiencing vomiting also experiences pain and weakness at that moment. They require understanding and care from others during that time.

The reason why the people around you provided assistance at that moment was that they empathized with the pain and weakness of the person who vomited and the difficulty of being unable to help themselves. It was an act of kindness.

It can be reasonably assumed that if vomiting and incontinence occurred to another individual in the same class, the response of those present would be largely similar. This is an instinctive reaction, both physically and mentally. It is unlikely that the individuals present would vomit because of the other person's actions, and therefore it is inaccurate to suggest that the response is directed at the individual as a person. Rather, it is a reaction to the incident itself.

Therefore, prior to this occurrence, you were not the subject of rejection or disdain. Consequently, the prospect of transferring schools is not a pressing concern. However, in light of this incident, it is challenging to ascertain whether you will face rejection as a consequence. I will continue addressing this matter tomorrow.

The aforementioned information is incomplete.

The world and I extend our affectionate regard to you.

Hello, host!

Third, I'd love to chat with you about this experience in the classroom. I think it can help us discover some new things about ourselves that we might not have realized before. My goal is to encourage you to explore yourself and to start building a deeper understanding of yourself. I hope you'll find ways to love yourself in the future.

I know my views might make some of you feel a little uncomfortable, but I really want you to try to understand what I mean by the "pain of growth." I truly believe that we can't gain the strength to grow unless we face the pain of facing the truth in our hearts. We need to find the strength to take care of ourselves, to know that the choices we make are truly beneficial to others and ourselves, and to not be afraid of the judgment, ridicule, and mockery of others.

It's so important to remember that this is something worth doing, even if the host decides to transfer schools or not. It's a great opportunity to reflect on what happened, revisit those feelings, think about what you need, get to know yourself better, and learn to love and care for yourself. It's also a chance to take responsibility for your own choices.

Let's take a moment to reflect on what happened. I had been wanting to take a break for a while, but I felt too embarrassed to ask for one in the middle of a public lecture. I thought that I could probably ask for another break if I really needed to go to the bathroom. Then, about ten minutes before the end of the lecture, I suddenly had to go, but it was too late to ask for a break.

Let's take a moment to relive the feelings. In class, you have to go to the bathroom, and it's urgent. It happens all the time, and the urgency grows. You're afraid to ask for leave because you think it's embarrassing and you want to avoid feeling ashamed. You try to suppress the urge to go to the bathroom. You comfort yourself by thinking it's okay to ask for leave again if you can't hold it in. When you can't control yourself, you feel hot and flushed. You feel like everyone is looking down on you. You feel aggrieved, not understanding why vomiting was being comforted. You feel embarrassed and ashamed, being called "mommy" and having everyone find out. You're afraid of being teased when you return to school. You're indecisive, whether you should transfer schools.

I'm happy to explain further. The feelings part refers to emotional experiences and physical sensations. I'll just write a few words or phrases with an element of speculation. The short description of the feelings in brackets is not the feeling itself. If it's not suitable for the poster, please ignore it automatically. Due to the length, I'll only pick one or two points of feeling to expand the entire part of today's review and reflection. Hopefully, it'll provide the poster with a clue to the method that can help them continue with the other parts.

Take a moment to think about your needs. Why didn't you choose to go to the bathroom when you first had the chance? You wanted to ask for leave before you lost control, but you chose to wait, even though you had lots of chances to go. Why did you wait? You were afraid of being embarrassed. What do you think about being embarrassed? What kinds of things do you think are embarrassing?

I think there's another reason, too. It's because it would be too embarrassing to listen to the voice that says, "Go ask for leave to go to the bathroom." What need is hidden behind thinking and doing this?

I just wanted to let you know that in this part I'm reflecting on "needs" rather than "reasons" because I believe that "needs" are the deepest reasons. As I said at the end of yesterday's follow-up answer, you said the reason was not to disturb the public class. But I'd love to understand why you would rather hold it in than disturb the public class? I'm sure there's a wealth of psychological information behind this – your needs.

It seems like your choice was made out of a desire to be kind and helpful, especially in the context of the public lecture. This is a great reason to make a choice like that, but it's also a pretty superficial reason. If you keep asking yourself questions, you'll probably find that this reason doesn't fully explain your choice. Is this kind of self-denial really your need? Is your need to be a kind person that strong?

It's so interesting how our words can reveal our feelings. I see "ashamed" as a synonym for "feeling shame." Shame is a really negative way of evaluating ourselves. It's painful because it feels like a total rejection. It's like we're saying, "I'm not good enough, I'm so bad, I don't deserve to live."

So, it's only natural that everyone will try their best to avoid it. All your choices are influenced by a strong desire to avoid feeling ashamed – not to be embarrassed.

I totally get why you made that choice. I feel so sad when I read your account of the whole incident because in your mind, doing the unthinkable and asking for permission to go to the toilet in the middle of a public lecture would be tantamount to denying the very reason for your entire existence. It's like a little voice inside you is saying, "How dare you ask for permission to go to the toilet! You're such a loser, you don't deserve to be here!"

Have you ever thought about whether this is something you've experienced before? It can feel like being rejected by the whole group when you're humiliated like this, which is pretty awful!

So you try your best to avoid this awful outcome. You hold back, and hold back, and hold back, even using soothing words to resist the voice of your body calling out to you – because that way you can avoid the unbearable outcome!

You thought that if you just held back a little longer, you could make it. After all, the class was only ten minutes away from the end. But, sweetie, people are very, very limited, both mentally and physically. There is a limit to how much they can endure.

So, in the end, you might feel even greater and deeper shame. But, you'll only realize when you look back that you made a choice that wasn't really beneficial for either you or the other person.

Self-knowledge: Do you now see what needs you were actually fulfilling by making the choice you made in this matter? Do you know why you have these needs?

I'm sorry, but I've left something out. I'll come back tomorrow to finish off the last part of my answer.

I love you, world! And I love you too, my dear friend!

I know you've already shared some of this with me, and I'm here to support you. I understand that for someone as sensitive and delicate as you, this can be a significant concern. It's natural to feel the way you do.

You waited so long that you missed your chance to ask for leave, so you had to go in class as an unconditioned reflex. You also sat there the whole time, and in the end you had to be discovered because of the smell. It was an embarrassing situation, but it was understandable.

Should you transfer to another school after doing something embarrassing?

I once had a realisation about holding in my urges.

It's just too embarrassing to ask for time off to go to the bathroom. I suddenly can't hold it in anymore.

✤✤✤✤✤✤I really need to go to the bathroom.

✤✤✤✤✤✤ Sensitive

After all, we all have normal eating, drinking, defecating, and sleeping habits. This is something we picked up as kids, and it shows that you're used to pleasing others and suffering in silence.

Don't be afraid to speak up and share your needs.

If there's something that needs to be done, it's best to get it done as soon as possible.

It's important to communicate with the outside world.

Back then, you were just trying to keep everyone happy and fit in with the system. You felt embarrassed to ask for time off because of some external rules and principles. You just let yourself suffer more and held it in until you couldn't hold it in anymore, and that's why you have these problems. You can see the influence of your personality.

You sat through the whole thing, trying to protect your image. Some things can't be kept inside forever, and other people will get uncomfortable because the smell can be irritating. It was also pretty rough when a classmate threw up.

Your personalities are very similar, but there are still differences. For example, vomiting may be a sign of illness, while the urge to go to the bathroom urgently may be a sign of frustration. It could also be a sign that you're holding it in and not going to the bathroom, even if you have to miss class.

You still need to make some adjustments. It's important to take care of yourself. In the future, you should speak up about your needs right away. As I mentioned before, there's no need to transfer to another school.

Everyone will forget. You're in a very sensitive and vulnerable state right now. It's best to talk to a counselor, turn your shame into motivation, transcend, and break away from this experience. If you need to, you should also get some counseling, talk to a heart exploration coach, talk to your parents, and seek understanding from friends and teachers. Good luck.

ZQ?

Haiyun Qingxin's analysis:

1. There's a saying that some things are unavoidable. Going to the bathroom is one of them. It's a natural need that can't be controlled. Everyone has to go at some point, regardless of gender, age, maturity, or species. There's nothing to be ashamed of when you have to go during an open class. People will understand.

2. Your classmates showed they care about you by giving you comfort and helping you clean up. You can go back to school to study in this condition.

2. Your classmates helped you clean up and comforted you, which shows that they care about you. You can go back to school and study like this.

You're afraid of being embarrassed. That's understandable. But being embarrassed isn't the problem. The problem is holding in your urge to go to the bathroom during class. If you don't do this, you won't be embarrassed.

You can do this. There is also a saying that it is never too late to mend. Prioritize your tasks. Although attending class is important, an urgent need cannot wait, so deal with it first and then attend to the important things. Furthermore, if you miss class, you can ask a good friend to take notes for you and help you follow the lecture, and this problem will be solved.

You want to avoid the embarrassment by transferring to another school. It depends on whether the cost of transferring to another school is greater than the embarrassment, and whether the cost of dealing with the urgent need is greater than the cost of transferring to another school. You can decide for yourself what is more important.

Hello.

I can really feel how embarrassed you were.

I bet this scene plays over and over in your mind.

You remember how people reacted and what they said.

You remember every detail.

Your classmates' gossip made you feel more anxious.

You care about others.

They can feel it.

They can feel it.

On the other hand,

I believe some teachers, classmates, or parents

They care.

They care about you.

They understand.

and help.

But later

The classmate who covered their nose

Or the teacher who called your parents.

The harm to them is almost non-existent.

The harm to them is almost non-existent.

They'll keep doing their homework.

Give the lecture as usual.

Go to work as usual.

They're back to normal.

Nothing has changed.

Go back to your original plan.

This embarrassment won't change how others see you.

You're still you.

The same.

Cute.

You're still understanding.

You're still the same.

You're still the same.

I'd like to share an experience I had. I'm currently studying in Europe. At first, I couldn't understand why, as soon as class was over, even if the professor hadn't finished teaching, some students would just leave on their own, and everyone else would act as if nothing had happened.

Later on, there was a group presentation. The speaking order had already been decided, but one of the students asked the teacher if they could go first because they had been in a hurry in the morning and forgotten to let their dog out of its cage. They needed to go back and take care of their dog. The teacher agreed right away and with a smile.

Maybe this is something that differs between domestic and foreign cultures. It's important to respect people's basic needs and to understand and respect others.

This kind of atmosphere isn't enough in China. If you encounter this kind of person, they're usually from the upper middle class or highly educated. So, I suggest you just ignore the outside noise.

It's important to pay attention to your own feelings and respect your reasonable needs.

You don't need to worry about what other people think. It's more important to learn to care for yourself.

I used to feel shy about asking for time off to go to the bathroom, but that's just my personal feeling.

You're worried your classmates will laugh at you because you care about what other people think. This is normal during adolescence. You like to be recognized and liked.

On the other hand, you can see this as a chance to size people up: if you laugh at your classmates, they're probably the insensitive or empathetic type. What you're worried about might not happen, but some classmates will probably come over to care about you and encourage you to say it's okay, just raise your hand whenever you want to go to the bathroom in class, and there's no need to feel pressure.

If only I'd known there are always kind people out there, you'd have had the chance to see which ones care about you and are worth keeping in touch with long-term.

If you think you're just passing through, remember there are two sides to everything.

Good day, classmate.

I am gratified to read your words and wish to extend a gesture of support. You placed yourself in a challenging situation, motivated by a desire to serve the greater good, yet the outcome has only served to reflect poorly on you. It is possible that you are experiencing feelings of frustration and helplessness. I perceive you to be a kind individual, and this unfortunate series of events has undoubtedly contributed to a sense of powerlessness, particularly in light of the reactions from your classmates.

As a mother of two children, I offer the following response from a maternal perspective for your consideration.

Firstly, as a student, you are aware of the implications of an open class for the teacher and the class as a whole. Consequently, you are motivated to perform well and avoid disrupting the class. However, due to specific circumstances, you arrived at the class time and disregarded your own feelings.

I express my deepest sympathies for your situation.

Secondly, it is important to consider the reactions and attitudes of your classmates towards you.

You are familiar with this type of situation. You experience discomfort because it is not a typical occurrence. Your classmates are also taken aback and will have their initial reactions and judgments, which is to be expected. If the roles were reversed, how would you respond?

It would be beneficial to then consider the internal perspective. From the written account, it may be surmised that the expectation is a response regarding the possibility of transferring to another educational institution.

It is my recommendation that you refrain from transferring to another educational institution. When confronted with a challenge, it is imperative to confront it directly.

One must not avoid the issue. There are two possible courses of action.

Firstly, if you simply transfer to another educational establishment in a despondent manner, it may become a topic of conversation among your classmates in the future. Do you wish to be associated with such a reputation? Will you regret not seizing the opportunity when you reflect upon this incident years later?

Secondly, it is imperative to confront the situation with courage. This entails articulating the rationale with clarity, acknowledging the misstep, and offering a heartfelt apology to the instructor and classmates.

It would be advisable to inform the teacher and classmates of your regret for causing a disruption due to your current state of health.

Both options necessitate courage, yet it is likely that many individuals have engaged in actions that could be perceived as embarrassing at some point in their lives. Moreover, it is evident that the intention was not to cause any distress to the teacher or classmates. It is plausible that the misjudgment was a result of a combination of innocence and kindness. It is evident that the individual in question is the victim of a situation in which they have been overly concerned with the feelings of others, to the detriment of their own well-being. It is therefore evident that the individual does not require fear of ridicule.

If an error is made, it is simply an error. One should allow oneself the opportunity to attempt to confront it with courage, and in doing so, one will gain the respect of others. Is one willing to attempt this?

Ultimately, cowardice impedes an individual's personal growth and development. Those who are resilient and self-reliant are better equipped to navigate life's challenges, while those who are compassionate and supportive contribute to the well-being of others. By fostering inner strength and a positive outlook, one can cultivate a sense of stability and fulfillment.

One must earn respect through one's actions, rather than relying on external validation. Individuals are more likely to admire a person's capabilities than their appearance. It is essential to work diligently and recognize that regardless of how fulfilling the initial stages of life may be, one must rely on their wisdom and financial resources in the later years.

Hello, question asker!

After reading your account, I can tell you were feeling pretty anxious and ashamed. I bet you were going through a lot as an adolescent in that situation. If I were in your shoes, I would probably feel the same way, worrying about the strange looks of others.

It's understandable that you felt that way. It's not a problem, though, because you just didn't have time to go to the bathroom. We all make mistakes.

It's understandable that you're still processing this situation. It's also related to your own adolescence. During this period, adolescents experience significant changes in emotions, self-awareness, and sexual awareness. Children at this age have a strong sense of self-esteem and are particularly sensitive to others' opinions.

People are very aware of themselves during this period, which is the second critical stage in the development of human self-awareness. It's when people start to demand independence and respect.

If something with a strong impact happens and you don't get help to work through your emotions and change your perceptions, it can lead to serious problems that affect your future. So, if you can't resolve something on your own, get help from your classmates, parents, teachers, or a counselor. Don't suppress it.

If you keep it all in, it can be dangerous. When you reach your limit, it will eventually come out, because negative emotions don't just disappear.

I'm here to support you. If you need help, just ask.

It's clear that the questioner can't resolve this on their own, but it's great that they're coming to us for help. It's a very courageous act, and they deserve praise! Many people don't even have the courage to express themselves when they encounter something!

What is shame? Joseph Burgo says it's an emotional response to feeling embarrassed, disappointed, or humiliated because of something you did or didn't do. It's a painful feeling about yourself.

We all know that embarrassing oneself in public is something nobody wants to face. But since it has happened and we cannot change it, we have to change our way of thinking!

If we have an excessive sense of shame, the reactions of others will make us think a lot, even imagine things.

For instance, the person who usually picks on me must be enjoying seeing me make a fool of myself today.

Whoever usually talks to me pretty well, I didn't realize they were also plastic sisters, and they laughed at me along with the others...

When we have this subjective feeling, we tend to block them on our contacts, emotionally distance ourselves from them, and it affects our interpersonal relationships.

This kind of unfounded speculation and suspicion is a sign of excessive shame. It can lead to having fewer friends and poor interpersonal relationships.

Given that excessive shame can impact our lives, what can we do about it?

It's time to start thinking more about what we should do and less about what others think.

There's a saying: "As long as I don't feel embarrassed, the one who is embarrassed is someone else."

One of the main causes of shame is embarrassment, which often occurs when we make a fool of ourselves in front of others. This leaves us in a situation where we feel trapped but don't have the courage to leave.

But what others think doesn't affect the progress of things. What does affect progress is thinking about what you should do. That can change the situation and make the embarrassment go away.

So, when we come up against problems or difficulties, it's best to think more about what we should do and less about what others will think. Ellis also said that it's not the event itself that can arouse our emotions, but our perception of the event!

2. Think about your own shortcomings in light of this situation.

The questioner said, "I've always wanted to take time off work, but I feel embarrassed about taking time off to go to the bathroom during an open class." This belief is unreasonable.

Everyone has to use the bathroom three times a day, and two of those times are for urgent business.

Everyone has the same basic needs, so if you have a stomachache or need to use the restroom, you should take a leave of absence. Teachers are human too, and they'll understand if you ask for a leave. You won't be embarrassed about going to the bathroom in an open class. Even for a serious exam like the college entrance exam, if you need to go, you still have to take a leave of absence, and the teacher has to agree.

It seems like the questioner cares a lot about what others think. They're afraid that if they take a leave of absence, they'll give the teacher a bad impression or be laughed at. It's important to remember that going to the bathroom when you have to go urgently shouldn't be laughed at. Everyone has to go to the bathroom, and the teacher won't criticize you, and your classmates won't look at you with strange eyes, because this is really a normal thing to do. The questioner's personality is also related to their own upbringing.

3. It's okay to make mistakes. Be kind to yourself and don't be too hard on yourself.

Don't assume the other person is hurting you just because you feel that way. They might not be. And don't exaggerate your feelings of narcissism. They mainly come from you, but not everyone will think the same way you do. It's often just your imagination.

It's important to learn to debate with yourself.

It's a good idea to chat with a counselor. High school is preparing you for further education, and if you're not in a good place mentally, it might affect your academic performance.

Wishing you the best!

Hello, questioner!

When something like this happens in public, it really makes people feel ashamed and even embarrassed. Teachers and classmates will definitely cast strange glances and expressions of incomprehension, and they may even feel a little disgusted. Not to mention that it was an open class, which required you to demonstrate your teaching level and the class's learning style at a critical moment. Everyone was more disappointed because you messed up.

Do you feel a lot of self-blame, guilt, and regret? Why didn't you go deal with your own affairs earlier, or raise your hand to leave the room? Why did the worst thing happen? You feel aggrieved. You held back and didn't raise your hand so that the open class could be completed. You didn't want to disturb this important class because of yourself. You could have just held on a little longer, but who knew your body would lose control?

It's a rollercoaster! You feel like you've become the target of everyone's criticism, being pointed at and humiliated. You feel ashamed, unable to stay in school or in class anymore, unable to bear the image of yourself in other people's eyes. These are all feelings that I brought in myself, so please bear with me if I'm not right.

Of the three feelings above, you came up with a great solution: transferring to another school, out of sight, out of mind. Can transferring to another school solve the three feelings above? If you transfer to another school, you will no longer have to recall this incident and stop blaming yourself. Can this incident disappear just by transferring to another school? Transferring to a new environment where no one knows about this incident will indeed change the feeling of being pointed at by others. But what if a classmate at the new school knows a current classmate and learns about this incident?

These are just some of my thoughts, and I'm excited to share them with you!

It's time to put an end to the trouble! You can eliminate the accusations people make against you. You can stop people from pointing fingers at you. They might not understand, but you can show them! You can prove to them that you can manage yourself. When faced with someone with a shortcoming, you can choose to look at them with a gossipy eye. You can choose to gossip. You can choose to make all kinds of guesses. But why? Because you can forgive yourself! You can forgive others! If everyone can forgive you, you won't blame yourself too much. If everyone can forgive you, you won't feel aggrieved. If everyone can forgive you, you won't be pointed at.

My humble opinion is just that—my humble opinion! It's only meant to be a helpful reference.

It's time to let everyone know that you've forgiven yourself! And to put a stop to all that gossiping! The best way to do it is to explain the matter clearly in front of everyone. You can also use a self-deprecating attitude to make everyone feel that you don't take it seriously, and that it's not that interesting anymore. And you'll have resolved your own knot!

You can start by having a chat with your teacher. Then, you can tell your classmates everything. I'm sure they'll be really happy to hear what you have to say!

At the end of the day, don't sweat the small stuff! What's important is that you understand yourself and let yourself off the hook. We all make mistakes, and that's okay! Admit your own shortcomings and that your performance is disappointing? Smile at yourself and accept yourself as you are. You've got this!

The world and I love you! Time is a great healer. Let the passage of time slowly take away the gloom in our hearts, and life will be sunny and bright!

Hello, I'm Shia, your listening therapist.

I can see that you are feeling quite upset. It seems that you made the decision to hold in your bladder in order to avoid being late for class, but unfortunately, this resulted in you being misunderstood and even teased. I imagine that you felt embarrassed and aggrieved at the time. When you feel that you have been used as a source of entertainment for others, it can lead to feelings of sadness and shame.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what you could do in this situation. It may be the case that some people no longer want to go to school.

When you are distressed and feel like others are laughing at you, it's worth considering what they might actually be doing. It's possible they're drinking milk tea, playing video games, binge-watching dramas, chatting with friends, or having a great time.

It's understandable that such a trivial matter might not keep their attention. After all, they have their own lives to live.

I wonder if I might ask how long it would take for your attention to be drawn to it if this happened to someone else, not you.

It might be helpful to remember that people have a very short memory, especially when it comes to other people's business. When you reappear in front of them, it's worth wondering whether they'll still do the same things as before.

I respectfully disagree. I believe the answer is no. Will they still interact with you normally?

I believe the answer is yes. If you have any doubts, you can simply show up in front of them and see for yourself.

If there are still good friends, they may still tease you. You can either ignore them or respond in a lighthearted way. We all experience embarrassing moments from time to time.

Beforehand, we may feel that it is challenging, but once we do it, we will realize that it is manageable and that our initial perception may have been exaggerated. We may feel anxious when taking an exam, but once it is over, we will realize that it was just a test. Many aspects of life can be compared to exams, and once they are over, they will not have a lasting impact on us. In the future, you may be able to provide comfort and guidance to another young person who is facing similar challenges by sharing your personal experience.

Dear OP, It is only natural to expect a smooth life. As we navigate the challenges that come our way, we can find strength in the knowledge that our resilience will grow with each passing day. No matter what life throws our way, we can choose to remain calm and confident, knowing that we have the inner resources to weather any storm.

If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to give you a hug.

Hello, host!

This is the second half of yesterday's content and the continuation of the answer, the second half of the third part—understanding yourself and seeking change, starting with the questions left over from yesterday: Can you see the choices you've made in this matter and what needs they're actually fulfilling? Do you know why you have such needs?

I'll still answer according to my thoughts here, but please ignore anything inappropriate.

Know yourself. You don't want to be excluded or hated. You're afraid of being rejected and disliked by everyone. This fear is almost overwhelming. It fills your entire mental space. This makes it hard for you to understand your true situation or the true situation of your environment. It also makes it hard for you to judge what choice is really beneficial to you and beneficial to others.

In a nutshell, you tried to avoid being disliked or rejected by others, but you misjudged how others would react. You chose a solution that was beyond your ability and control, which only made things worse. You also failed to achieve your goal of not disturbing the class.

It makes me sad to see how much you need to be accepted and liked. It's sad to see how afraid you are of not being liked and accepted that you don't even directly express your most basic needs! What kind of environment did you grow up in that made you so afraid of being hated and rejected?

I say this because eating, drinking, defecating, sleeping, and playing are the most basic human needs, which can be naturally felt and expressed. For example, babies express themselves by crying, and toddlers can say it when their language develops.

Why don't people speak up for their needs? It's simply because they can't. We have to follow social norms (social expectations of human behavior, such as not urinating in public) to fit in, but we can differentiate according to the specific situation (a living person cannot be suffocated by urine).

Kids who are raised with excessive and indiscriminate discipline tend to develop this way. They learn that rules are to be followed no matter what, that their personal needs in special circumstances will be considered troublesome, and that they will be considered bad children if they mention their needs. They also learn to associate their needs with shame.

Put simply, you've been taught to see your legitimate needs as a nuisance to others and as something that shouldn't be done. This will lead to rejection and a lack of love. You've given the meaning of "annoying and shameful" to the need to go to the toilet during class. I'm sure you've experienced this more than once, although the need may not be to go to the toilet, so you can bear with it.

Think back to other experiences where you've chosen to endure physical pain or needs, like staying up late to finish your homework.

You ignore or deny the voice of "I need..." that comes from your body, and use your mind to say "no, no, no" to your body. You tell it to stay out of the way, because you have more important things to do here. Just like this time, when you told yourself to bear with it, this habitual suppression of your needs will make many of your feelings about your body less clear, and you will lose a precise judgment of your tolerance limits and control capabilities.

All this mental activity is invisible and incomprehensible to others. It happens so quickly that even you can't notice it, so it's also difficult for others to understand after it has happened. I suspect that even your mother may find this hard to believe. The instinctive reaction in the minds of most people is probably, "What's wrong with you...how could you...?"

Meanwhile, the fact that others have a hard time understanding what you're going through also means that your judgment of others and the environment is also biased. After all, in other people's eyes, being late for the toilet seems like no big deal, and asking for time off to go to the toilet in class also seems like no big deal. This means that being late for the toilet or asking for time off to go to the toilet due to an urgent need will not lead to any catastrophic and unbearable results. Everyone thinks that it is a very normal and natural thing to go to the toilet as soon as you feel the urge. There is nothing unacceptable about it. On the contrary, it is difficult to accept being unable to hold it in and suffering from incontinence – after all, a living person cannot be held back by urine!

This is what's really going on in your environment.

Look for ways to change your mindset. Once you understand the psychological process, it's time to acknowledge your feelings and then look for ways to improve your self-soothing. Learning to love yourself is a great place to start.

Chances are, you don't want to become the person who always suppresses their own needs and feels ashamed of them. Think about what kind of harsh and disapproving environment you were raised in that made you develop such a way of thinking. You'll probably realize that there's nothing wrong with this way of thinking. This part requires you to constantly understand yourself through life and learning. No one else can understand you or give you comfort (to be honest, no one else is obliged to, although I really hope someone can understand and comfort you), but you can use exploration to give yourself understanding.

Go and reassure the child who is so scared that they can't even go to the toilet without crying. Tell yourself, "I know how you feel. I know you're afraid of not being liked. We all are." Then tell yourself, "But that fear is because we didn't know much as children. It's different now. Many things are actually not as scary as we feel. Let's take a look at what the really unacceptable consequences would be if we made choices that met our needs. In fact, the consequences really aren't that scary."

Use the time machine to picture every step along the way. What choices do you have and what are the possible outcomes? Keep thinking until you realize that you really have nothing to fear.

For instance, picture what you could have done before the class started. Chances are, you were late for the bathroom and the teacher wasn't happy. Since the open class was attended by the head of the school and other teachers, everyone was watching you, which made you feel embarrassed about being late. But what if?

Is there a chance the teacher will criticize you in front of everyone? Or give you a harsh critique after class?

For instance, if you ask the teacher for leave during class, they'll be annoyed and your classmates will laugh at you. After class, the teacher will also give you a hard time and think you're causing trouble on purpose.

What other results could there be?

The key thing to remember is that these consequences are unpleasant, but unpleasant and whether you can handle them are not the same thing. You're ridiculed, criticized, and exposed in public, which is stressful and frightening. But are these fears more important than your basic needs and feelings? Furthermore, what does it say about you that you choose to tolerate the urge to go to the bathroom?

It means that you're more concerned with how your teachers and classmates will react than you are with your own needs and feelings. You're more worried about keeping them happy than you are about your own urgent needs.

The reality is quite different. Even if you get some criticism for being late, you can explain afterwards.

Or maybe you don't even have to explain. Criticism can be upsetting, but it doesn't have to be a big deal. Just as if you had to go to the bathroom in the middle of class, people might laugh or you might feel embarrassed, but it doesn't have to be a catastrophe. After the criticism, the laughing, and your upset, the matter will be over and life will go on as normal, right?

The reality is that you'll probably yell "Report" at the door because you're late because you had to use the bathroom. The teacher will let you quickly go back to your seat to continue the class so as not to interrupt the flow. If you take a leave of absence in the middle of class to say that you can't hold it in any longer and have to go to the bathroom (and even leave without waiting for the teacher's permission), there will be no consequences.

This really isn't as embarrassing as you think, and it really won't cause everyone to hate and reject you. No one will think that it's more important for public classes not to be interrupted by your urgent need to use the bathroom—we've all been in a hurry before. You being late or taking a leave of absence will instead be understood by everyone.

It's better to either be late from the start or take a leave of absence in the middle. This kind of reflection, recognition, and seeking for change is training yourself to correct your mistakes. It's about correcting the past mistake of always considering the opinions and needs of others more important than your own feelings. If you continue to train yourself like this, in the future when you encounter similar emergencies or other situations where your own needs conflict with the needs of others, you will first take care of your own feelings and not worry about what others think. Remember that it is precisely because you are afraid of affecting others that you ignore your own feelings, which in turn causes a greater impact on others. Learn from this and put your own feelings and needs in a more important position. This is the beginning of loving yourself.

If we take care of ourselves, we can better take care of others.

I hope you can make this change. I also think that getting reliable psychological counseling can help you make the changes you need to make.

I just wanted to say that I love you, and I love the world too.

Hello, host!

Today's follow-up answers address the issue of transferring schools.

Second, I can answer your questions about going back to school like this, whether your classmates will laugh at you, and whether it's better to transfer schools.

You're asking whether you should go back to school or transfer. The reason you're unsure is that you're sensitive and vulnerable, and you're worried your classmates will laugh at you. Is that right?

Some of your classmates will laugh at you.

From what I know about human nature, I believe this is a possibility, but we don't know which people will do it, on what occasions, or in what ways. Some people just laugh to themselves without showing it, for example.

Humans may not be the only species that secretly enjoys watching other people suffer. I used to think so, but then I read an article mentioning that other species also have this type of behavior, such as cats playing with captured mice. This raises an important question: what is this doing to the cat?

I am certain that ridicule (or schadenfreude) is also some kind of instinct that has evolved. People who ridicule others are unaware of what this is really like for the person being ridiculed. They are just as incapable of experiencing or understanding the fear and despair of a mouse in this situation as a cat is of understanding the fear and despair of a mouse.

If someone reacts in a way that isn't particularly directed at you, but you feel ridiculed or if something that really happened is ridiculed (which sometimes isn't true), you will inevitably think that these are all malicious acts directed at you as a person.

Humans are different from other species. We are the species that is most capable of understanding the feelings of others, although not everyone can do this at all times. Everyone wants to be understood and treated kindly when they are vulnerable. However, "wanting" is not the same as "demanding." How others treat you is their own choice, not something you can control.

I am certain that some students will not share the attitude of those who are willing to mock you. They are more willing to understand your situation and difficulties at that time, but I suspect that they also don't know how to show it. Imagine if it were you. You would want someone to show you understanding and support if you had an accident in class.

They should not join in with those who laugh at you and remain silent.

If transferring to a new school does solve the problem of being teased, then what?

Changing schools is a flawed solution. It stems from the idea that "changing schools can avoid being teased." This is a lie. Regardless of whether you are sensitive and vulnerable inside, anyone who is in an environment where they are teased and disliked for a long time will find it very painful.

Transferring to a school where no one knows you and you never know what's going on with you may indeed achieve the goal of not being ridiculed for a period of time. Regardless of how much effort it takes to successfully transfer schools, and regardless of the other problems that transferring schools brings, such as student status management, college entrance examination regulations, the learning environment, and so on, if this can truly permanently resolve your painful feelings about this matter, it is the best decision you can make.

But I have to ask: what's your plan? Do you really think you won't make any other mistakes and be teased again at your new school?

Furthermore, the speed and scope of information interconnection and dissemination are now uncontrollable. It is only a matter of time before new classmates at the new school learn of this incident. There is also a possibility that they will rejoice in other people's misfortune and join in. What would you do in this situation?

You're changing schools again?

You've had this experience, and you've decided to transfer to another school. This is a coping strategy that implies "evading facing yourself." It's not wrong, and it's the most common instinctive choice. This instinctive reaction is related to evolution. The instinct of seeking benefits and avoiding harm helps you avoid feeling hurt to survive. But you need to think about whether evading can really completely "avoid harm." You need to consider other options besides evading.

You have the option of transferring to another school if you choose. When the time is right, you can review and reflect on what happened, explore your inner world, understand your sensitivity and vulnerability, and decide whether to vent your anger or hold it in. You have already written the reason for not disturbing the public class. Why would you rather hold it in than disturb the public class?

The psychological message behind this is extremely rich. I will share my thoughts on this part tomorrow.

The above is incomplete.

The world and I love you.

Hello, child. I hug you from afar. I can imagine how anxious you are. I wonder how things are going for you now?

People have three basic needs. Going to the right place to solve them is the basic method. But accidents in the classroom are not what we expect. They are not embarrassing or something to laugh at.

You are still a good student. You think for yourself, respect teachers, and have excellent character.

There's always a reason for everything. You said the principal called you before class and you didn't go to the bathroom in time. That's why this happened.

Later, the problem may suddenly occur due to physical discomfort. Don't blame yourself too much.

We looked at what happened and found that it happened in the classroom, which would upset people. People might say or do things that upset you.

You said that before, a classmate vomited, and everyone helped. However, when you suddenly defecated, you were rejected.

Vomiting and defecation are different. You need to show people you have a reason for it.

You said that later the teacher told your mother to come to school and take you home. I don't know how your mother and teacher communicated. Did you tell your mother what happened? To make her understand and to make your teacher and classmates understand.

Don't dwell on the incident or blame yourself. Learn from it instead. Find the root cause of the problem.

You said you're a sensitive second-year high school girl.

Your character determines your destiny. You are sensitive and vulnerable. You didn't tell the principal you needed to go to the bathroom before class. You kept talking with him, which led to the incident.

Arrange your time reasonably to solve personal matters before class. Take a leave of absence when you are not feeling well. Ask your teachers and classmates to make up the missed lessons. Attending class when you are unwell may have bad consequences.

2. Find out why you're sensitive and vulnerable. Adjust your inner self. Read some self-help books. Become stronger. Learn to say "no" and make demands of yourself.

3. Face it.

As mentioned earlier, we should let our classmates talk about us because things that have happened cannot be controlled. Time will make things better.

You will feel better.

4. As a second-year high school student, you will soon take the college entrance exam. Do you feel stressed about your studies? Have you talked to your teachers and parents about it, and have you made a plan for your studies?

Emotions affect our bodies too.

5. You asked about transferring schools. What's the biggest reason for this? Rate this on a scale of 1 to 10.

Have you talked to your mother about this? What did she say?

6. If you still have problems, see a counselor.

I'm Yunqing, a counselor. I hope this helps. You can also contact me for consultation.

The world and I love you! Best wishes!