Having few male friends has an impact on self-esteem, but I feel that boys kind of dislike me?

As a fellow man, I would like to suggest that you offer support and comfort to the seemingly pitiful you.

I believe the views expressed in the books you mentioned may not be entirely appropriate. It is likely that the disparity between the sexes in China will become more pronounced in the future, and the prospect of not having a partner may be more daunting than that of not having a best friend. However, there is no need to be concerned about this.

It is not necessarily the case that having few male friends means that you cannot express aggression. You might like to consider playing sports, such as football, basketball or badminton, as a way of releasing excess hormones and meeting new people.

Secondly, you seem to feel that boys dislike you, but I'm not sure where this perception comes from. It might be related to your first deep friendship with a male friend, or perhaps you feel that you are a little feminine and delicate?

It's all relevant, though I'm not sure of your circumstances. During the lockdown, if you're unable to leave your room and don't have any friends or a romantic partner on campus, it can be quite challenging.

Third, I'm not sure how your studies are going. During your student days, friends and girlfriends are not as important as they might be later in life. What is most important is to plan your studies well, read more, and develop your interests so that you are well prepared for your future career.

It would seem that you have fewer male friends, but more female friends. This could be seen as an advantage.

You may wish to consider playing to your strengths and avoiding your weaknesses.

I hope this is helpful for you.

Good day, question asker!

I was fortunate to have the opportunity to read your text, in which you expressed that the book suggests that a man without male friends is even more unfortunate than being single. From this, I can infer that you are a young man in school.

From what you've shared, it seems you're facing some doubts and challenges. I'd like to inquire about your reasons for seeking a large number of friends.

I wonder if friends can truly prove one's identity. This is something I've been pondering lately.

Please note that the following responses are for reference only.

Firstly, it would be helpful to understand why people need friends. It's important to remember that people change, and friends come and go.

It might be helpful to remember that making friends is about using your own charm to attract others to become your friends. There are many kinds of friends, including insincere friends and sincere friends, fawning friends and friends who help in times of need. Which kind do you need?

Secondly, I would like to inquire about the types of friends you admire the most.

Could you tell me a bit more about the kind of successful person you admire? What qualities do you find particularly appealing in that person?

What you see in others may be something you admire, or it may be a quality you aspire to but have not yet reached. From your written description, I can sense that you are a kind student, and you are also very enthusiastic and like to make friends, hoping to gain the approval of those around you.

I must admit that I don't have particularly high expectations, but it seems to be the opposite of what I want, and I haven't achieved the effect I'm looking for.

It would be beneficial to consider ways to improve yourself. In the eyes of the public, athletic boys are more popular, especially with girls.

It is often said that a boy who loves sports embodies masculinity, sunshine, good looks, and charm. People often use these words to describe a boy who plays sports. Do you agree with this?

If I might suggest, having your own hobbies and specialties, you might also consider adding beautiful handwriting to the list! What are your thoughts on that?

Additionally, you may find it beneficial to view more videos on high emotional intelligence and speaking, which could potentially enhance your personal charm. You are encouraged to explore this avenue if you feel it aligns with your interests.

Finally, I would like to suggest that having a small number of good friends is more valuable than having a large number of friends who are not as close. Fame and respect are often the result of having real talent and ability. Today's hard work can often become the foundation for success in the future.

It is not always easy to find a few close friends in life. It is also worth noting that working relationships are not necessarily friends, and having common interests does not necessarily make someone a friend.

Ideally, friends should be able to treat you as an equal and share their innermost thoughts with you. It is not simply a relationship of mutual assistance and reciprocity; it is a spiritual connection as well. What are your thoughts on this?

Hello, classmate. I can see you're feeling confused right now, and I'm here to help. Hugs!

You're going through some tough times, but you'll get through it. I'm here for you with another warm hug.

I'm really curious to know why you think the boys hate you.

I totally get it. I don't rule out the possibility that you had a bad experience when you were growing up and getting along with boys.

Then, after that, you started to have a prejudice against boys. You thought they hated you, but that wasn't necessarily true.

So, my dear classmate, what are you going to do now?

I really think you should seek help from a professional counselor. Let her help you work through your previous bad experiences with boys.

Good news! There's a student discount of 50% on the platform's counseling. All you have to do is fill out a form and submit a school certificate for current students to apply.

You can also get help from the school's resident psychological teacher if you'd like.

The school counselor is there to help, and they should be able to provide this service for free.

If you're not sure how many sessions of psychological counseling you need for your current problem, you can always seek help from an instant listener.

If you need it, the immediate listener will also refer you to a professional counselor.

I really hope you can find a great solution to whatever you're going through soon.

I really hope these tips help! I'm thinking of these as the only things I can think of at the moment, but I'm always open to hearing your thoughts and ideas.

I really hope my answers above are helpful and inspiring to you. I'm here for you, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love you and the world loves you too! Wishing you all the best!

Hello, classmate! I can see your question in the vast crowd, and I'm sorry to hear you're going through a tough time. I want to sincerely tell you that I'd like to be your friend if you'd like me to.

You mentioned that you read in a book that "a guy without male friends is even more pathetic than someone without a girlfriend." This viewpoint led you to compare your situation with others and feel troubled because you have very few male friends.

The book suggests that when viewed by a hundred people, there will be a hundred perspectives, a hundred interpretations, and responses. This also shows that it is an open-ended answer, which may be teasing, mocking, etc., depending entirely on each person's own interpretation. However, this statement may make you feel that you have very few male friends. But this "few" does not mean that you have no male friends around you, so it's important not to overinterpret it and cause yourself distress.

You may find it helpful to refer to it, but it's important to remember that things can't go back to normal.

It might be helpful to consider that thinking about it could turn your emotions inward, creating self-directed thoughts that might make you doubt yourself and feel that boys hate you, that no one shares your interests, and so on. This, combined with the school closure period, might make you feel depressed.

During the school closure, the whole school environment can feel full of urgency and depression. Coupled with the sense of distance between you and your classmates of the same gender, these feelings can make you feel tired and worried.

I empathize with your situation. People who tend to internalize their emotions are often kind individuals who are reluctant to cause harm to others. Given your admirable nature, I want to offer my support and understanding during this challenging time. I encourage you to take small steps towards improving and adjusting your emotions, with the hope that they will gradually become more manageable.

It is not uncommon for our thoughts to merely reflect a feeling, rather than an accurate reflection of reality. When negative thoughts arise, it can be helpful to ask ourselves four questions:

1. Could this be true?

2. Could this be entirely true?

3. Could I perhaps inquire as to what kind of emotions I feel when I think like this?

4. Could I ask you to consider what my state of mind might be like when I don't think like this?

I believe that when you truly reflect on these questions, your emotions may become more evident.

It is often the case that it is not the event itself that affects us, but rather our thoughts that can lead us into an emotional trap and trigger emotions.

If I might make one more suggestion, it would be to consider bravely going out and finding a same-sex friend with whom you feel good and can become good friends. I believe that among so many friendships, there must be one waiting for you.

While it's not necessary to have a large number of friends, it can be helpful to have at least one person with whom you can walk and talk.

Hello, question asker. It's a pleasure to meet you.

You are anxious about having few male friends. You doubt yourself and think some people hate you. You try hard to make friends, but you feel tired.

⭐️ Look at the opinions in the book dialectically.

The book is right: it is more miserable for a guy to have no male friends than to have no girlfriend. Especially in our childhood, some little boys like to play with girls and will be teased for acting like a girl.

I don't think that's sad. Opposites attract, and being together can complement each other's shortcomings. The question asks about having few male friends, but what about female friends?

Friends are people who progress and play together with you.

The book says it's sad to have few male friends. Is it really?

⭐ Find the reason why male friends rarely

You should examine yourself and ask if you are more introverted and prefer quiet.

Are they communicating with others too little because of some objective reasons?

I need to know if my approach to communication is wrong. For example, I'm overly nervous and I over-interpret my own thoughts.

Don't let a niche hobby stop you from making friends with people who share your interests.

⭐Treat the symptoms. During the school closure, there will be plenty of opportunities to get along with your classmates. Extend the olive branch. Even if your interests and hobbies are different, you can seek common ground while reserving differences and communicate to make each other progress.

Buy some snacks and share them with your classmates.

Take the initiative to invite others to play games together, etc.

Friends are about quality, not quantity. You can be happy even if you don't have many friends who share your interests. What matters is that you cherish the people around you.

I wish you a happy, carefree life!

I'm very worried. I feel those concerns in your heart, and I'm here to help! Some of the opinions expressed in books may be opinions at certain levels, not all of them. As a guy, if you don't have any male friends, or if you have very few, it may make you feel very lonely, like you're always walking alone. But there's no need to feel this way!

This feeling of loneliness may also have some character-level impact on your life, making you feel unconfident or unexceptional. But don't worry! There are ways to turn this around. First, it's important to understand why you feel this way. Have certain problems already arisen that have made you feel this way?

You can record why you are disliked by some boys. Is it because you are independent, don't approve of them, or because your personalities and living habits are so different that you can't stand each other? This is a detail that needs to be clearly understood, and you can do it!

Some books say that it is more miserable for a guy to have no male friends than to have no girlfriend. Perhaps this kind of misery is also one-sided, which means that not everyone's friends are necessarily the same. You also have your own personality and your own circle of friends, so why not live your life to the fullest and not let anyone's opinions stand in your way?

You're even doubting yourself now and feeling very depressed, so it's time to take the necessary psychological tests to understand the background of your life. First, understand your own heart, and then learn more about your hobbies. Maybe there are some boys who are also like-minded. Friendship is not about quantity but about quality. Say goodbye to ineffective socializing. While you're still in school, you can also talk to a psychology teacher or a psychological counselor. Don't hold it in. I wish you well!

ZQ?