High school students often feel awkward and lack confidence in social interactions. What should they do?

Dear Colleague, From your description, I can ascertain that you are a highly independent individual. This very quality makes it challenging for you to form close friendships and to identify shared interests with others. I hope that by sharing here, it will provide you with some inspiration. Best regards, [Your Name]

Individuals who are overly independent may find it challenging to form close relationships.

It is often said that one's opinion is only valued if one does not seek financial assistance from one's parents and remains financially independent. Similarly, there is a perception that a woman should not lose herself and become overly reliant on her partner.

You may have encountered this advice previously.

It is an irrefutable fact that from an early age, parents instill in their children the belief that to achieve a better quality of life in society, it is possible to solve many issues independently without relying on others.

From an early age, we are encouraged to be independent and autonomous, taking responsibility for our own actions.

This has shaped our character. An individual who is excessively independent may appear aloof and unapproachable to those around them. Despite their self-assurance, they may be perceived as unfriendly and detached.

Consequently, when studying independently with no external assistance, you become isolated and may experience loneliness in the future.

I am unsure if you have considered this, but your high level of independent self-esteem may often make you seem unattainable to others, who may perceive you as self-centered and therefore avoid you.

In today's society, individuals are driven to find a sense of purpose and belonging. They seek to demonstrate their ability to thrive even in the absence of external validation. This pursuit, while understandable, can lead to strained relationships.

It is therefore important to strike a balance between independence and interdependence when interacting with others. Being excessively independent may lead to a perception of being aloof or unapproachable, while being overly dependent may result in a lack of autonomy and self-reliance.

The optimal state for personal growth is to maintain an independent personality while also having a flexible and adaptable body. The former provides a strong sense of self and stability, while the latter facilitates positive interactions with external parties, enabling independence without isolation.

If you are unsure of how to engage in conversation, offering a smile can be an effective approach. As the adage goes, "a smile is no offence," and it can facilitate a more relaxed and open interaction.

I hope you will find these thoughts inspiring.

Hello! I really hope my reply can help you.

Your relationships with others can affect you in some pretty negative ways. It's totally normal to feel self-blame, helplessness, sadness, and other negative emotions when you're in a conflicted situation. But don't worry! You can work through this and come out the other side feeling stronger than ever.

From your description, it's clear this is a case of interpersonal relationships!

The first thing to consider is the relationship with your biological family. If parents and children can communicate happily in the biological family, then the child will also be able to handle the communication patterns and methods with classmates and teachers. There is also your usual lifestyle and hobbies, etc. You get to learn more about the new things around you!

Second, when you chat with your classmates, if you have nothing to say, it's because you don't know what to say or you don't want to participate in the conversation. But don't worry! Some people are naturally more introverted and don't like to express themselves, but you can also be a good listener. Very often, people need a listener more than anything else.

And third, self-esteem! When you're chatting with your friends, remember that speaking doesn't mean being subservient. It means having a sense of boundaries.

And the best part is, you can develop these skills through repeated practice to build great relationships!

As a student, learning is your main focus, and it's an amazing journey! You'll go from not knowing to knowing in academic subjects, and you'll also learn how to handle relationships.

And guess what? Classmates also like children who are better at school and hope to ask them difficult questions. This also helps make friends!

So, you can just open your heart and try more, get in touch with your classmates more, and it's okay to fail. After all, there is still a long way to go in life. Try more, and at the same time, constantly encourage yourself and cheer yourself on. Believe that there will definitely be a bright future!

It is acceptable to be alone; two individuals can engage in conversation, and three can form a social group on a daily basis. One may select whichever mode of interaction is preferred. The crucial element is to cultivate an open-minded and non-judgmental attitude, avoiding sudden shifts in emotional state that may manifest as complaining or fixed embarrassment.

As a high school student, your personality has not yet reached its final form. There are several strategies you can employ to avoid embarrassment. One approach is to identify the sources of your insecurity. What are the underlying causes of your feelings of inadequacy? Do you perceive yourself as an interesting person or as someone who is lacking in interest? How can you cultivate a more engaging persona?

It is not necessary to engage in joking or lengthy discourse when in the presence of others. There are a multitude of fundamental settings that can be identified. These can be assessed by accessing the attribute panel, which will indicate which dimensions require improvement and how they can be enhanced.

For example, if the atmosphere between you and the other person is very quiet, this silence can be beneficial. At this time, silence is preferable to words, and there is no need to deliberately look for topics. The most appropriate topic is one that you wish to share from the bottom of your heart.

For example, one might discuss a film or novel that has piqued one's interest, one's own emotions, or an intriguing piece of information one has recently encountered. This is an activity that can be practiced in the future and that can be augmented by maintaining a record of one's areas of interest, with the goal of enhancing one's vocabulary and sensitivity.

Anxiety and trepidation will also impede one's self-assurance, necessitating the identification of one's strengths. There is no obligation to proactively accommodate others. It is beneficial to engage in social interactions with a composed demeanor. I advise contemplating the practice of meditation to mitigate feelings of embarrassment and entanglements. I extend my best wishes to you.

Please clarify the meaning of the question.

Hello, classmate. I can see you're feeling confused right now, and I'm here to hug you!

I totally get it. Maybe you had an awkward encounter with a classmate at school before.

After that, you might feel a little out of sorts and lack confidence when interacting with your classmates.

If this is the case, I really think you should seek help from the high school's resident psychologist. Her services are free, so there's no reason not to!

If you don't have a school counselor, don't worry! You can also get help from a professional counselor.

I just wanted to let you know that there was a student discount of 50% on the platform!

All you have to do is fill out a form and submit a current student ID to apply!

I've got a great tip for you! It's a good idea to listen to what the person next to you is talking about first, and then join in.

For example, at the coffee meeting after church yesterday afternoon, I didn't know the woman next to me very well, so I asked her, "Oh, did someone mention praying for the American and German schools this morning at church? It seemed like it might have been because of quarantine."

Then the lovely lady, who works at one of those schools, told me the real reason for the closure.

Then, the woman and I would have something to chat about!

I really hope you can find a good solution to the problem you're having soon.

That's all I can think of for now, but I'm always here if you need anything!

I really hope my answers are helpful and inspiring to you! I'm here for you, and I'm studying hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love you and the world loves you too! Wishing you all the best!

Hello!

Host:

After reading the post, I was blown away by how open and honest the author was. It was so inspiring to see how they were willing to express their confusion and actively seek help on the platform. I could tell that they were ready to take the next step in understanding themselves better and making better friends.

Next, I'm thrilled to share my observations and thoughts from the post, which I'm sure will help the poster gain a deeper understanding of themselves.

1. Adolescent narcissism

So, what is adolescent narcissism? Put simply, it means that during adolescence we want to be perfect, to be liked, to be accepted, to be sociable, and so on, and to be confident in these areas. And why not? It's a wonderful thing to want to be the best you can be!

In the post, the original poster mentioned that she felt a little awkward when she got along with her classmates. She saw other people laughing heartily when socializing, and she wished she could do the same!

But what happens when we have such expectations and standards for ourselves, and then we fail to live up to them in reality? We feel embarrassed, don't we? And that's OK! It's all part of the journey.

Will you think that you are not good enough? Absolutely not! You are amazing just the way you are.

In fact, at this time, it is because the host is in adolescence, and he has the amazing opportunity to become a more perfect person, someone who is liked and accepted by others. And this is the ideal self!

Having an ideal self is great, but when the real self fails to live up to it, we don't quite approve of ourselves. This can lead to role confusion in terms of self-identity, which causes a lot of conflict within us. But don't worry! There are plenty of ways we can work through this.

2. Different forms of socializing

We all have those moments where we worry that others won't like us, that we'll run out of things to talk about in social situations, or that we'll be unable to make others laugh. But these are all totally normal emotions!

But we also need to know that socializing is not just a formality! Some people love to laugh and be lively in social situations, while others prefer to be quiet.

Like me, I love to be quiet, and I really enjoy socializing with a few close friends. I especially love sharing my thoughts on growing up with one person at a time.

This is the absolute best way to express your thoughts and feelings!

So, if the host can't act naturally and confidently in social situations, they should just relax! Forcing yourself may also make others feel that this person is a bit fake, right?

Absolutely! And in social situations, there's no need to be perfect to win people over. All you need is sincerity to deepen the relationship.

Sometimes, when we reveal some of our shortcomings, it makes others feel that you are a real person. You trust him, so you are willing to expose your shortcomings in front of him. However, there should be a limit to this!

And it's not just about socializing. If you like being quiet, can you socialize with people who also like being quiet?

3. Accept the real you!

What is narcissism? It's liking the ideal version of yourself!

And what is low self-esteem? It's the ideal self constantly picking on the real self.

I think the original poster has also discovered it, right? Fantastic! The essence of narcissism is actually an inferiority complex.

If you think you have no value, you cannot provide value to others in social situations, which is why you worry that others don't like you. But there's no need to worry! You can provide topics for conversation and happiness, and so much more.

So, if we want to behave better and more naturally in social situations, we need to improve our sense of self-worth! But why do we feel worthless?

This comes from our subjective feelings about ourselves. And guess what? It's not that we really don't feel valuable!

It is ourselves who feel that we have no sense of value. But guess what? We can change that! For example, it is easier to see our shortcomings than to appreciate our strengths.

Absolutely! If we can accept and like ourselves, we can absolutely expect others to do the same.

So, the most important thing you can do is to embrace your strengths and learn to love yourself, warts and all!

It's important to remember that our strengths and areas of expertise can give us a sense of achievement and worth. And it's possible that it is our own shortcomings that have made our strengths possible!

So, accept your shortcomings, recognize your strengths, and learn to appreciate yourself! This will help you gain a better sense of self-identity. And remember, you can provide value to others, too! The essence of a relationship is the exchange of value. This value can be emotional companionship, knowledge, or anything else you can think of.

I really hope these are helpful and inspiring for the poster! And of course, the poster can also learn some social skills!

I'm Zeng Chen, your one-on-one personal growth coach!

Good day.

From your description, it can be seen that you have a high level of self-esteem, a low level of self-acceptance, and a tendency to dwell on issues. At the same time, you are eager for change to improve your situation.

1. Become acquainted with and accept yourself.

It is important to engage in self-exploration and gain a deeper understanding of your own personality traits.

Each individual possesses unique personality traits, shaped by various factors including upbringing, environment, and other influences. Modifying these traits can be challenging.

Change is based on acceptance. There is a common misconception that change means denying who we are and becoming someone else. This is not conducive to change. Instead, it creates a sense of being trapped. To change, one must accept oneself from the heart. Change is a process of gradual correction. It cannot be achieved overnight.

Furthermore, it is important to recognize that every personality trait has its advantages and disadvantages. It is therefore essential not to deny oneself completely.

2. Develop a stable core self.

The core self represents a person's spiritual core. Only by establishing a stable core self can a person maintain internal stability and avoid internal fears due to external circumstances. The reason for your discomfort with silence in social situations is likely due to a lack of a stable spiritual core, which can lead to apprehension about the outside world and relationships. This may explain your tendency to seek external validation through conversation.

To establish a stable core self, one must establish one's own values, develop the ability to think independently, form one's own opinions and views on everything, and reduce the impact of others' evaluations on oneself. This can be achieved by reading more, thinking more, and doing more, with a gradual approach.

3. Cultivate a moderate and appropriate sense of self-confidence.

Your nervousness and sensitivity to others' opinions are indicative of an underlying tendency toward excessive narcissism, which can manifest as an inferiority complex. It is not uncommon for individuals to possess some degree of narcissistic traits. However, it is crucial to strike a balance. Narcissism is a key factor in self-confidence, but it must be exercised in moderation and in alignment with appropriate standards. Excessive narcissism can lead to persistent internal concerns, an overreliance on external feedback, and a lack of growth and development.

It is crucial for you to allow yourself to relax moderately and to deliberately refine your "thin face." With time, you will be able to make the necessary adjustments.

4. Cultivate hobbies and areas of expertise while building a robust social network.

Develop a skill in an area you are interested in and in which you excel. This will provide you with a topic of conversation when meeting new people, which will help you to build up your inner confidence. In particular, joining a group with similar interests will enable you to expand your social circle and to develop your skills in a supportive environment.

I hope the response from Hongyu proves helpful. Thank you for your inquiry.

Hello! The questioner sees the words as if meeting someone in person and gives you a gentle hug first of all.

Reading your description, I feel like I'm seeing my former teenage self. I really want to make friends with others, and I'm excited to find new things to talk about and to overcome my fear of silence. I'm also eager to show that I'm genuinely interested in connecting with others. But I'm also excited to embrace the joy of being alone. I wonder if the questioner feels the same anxious feelings as I did back then?

I really hope my answers below will be of some help!

First, [break internal limitations]. You can do it! The root of inferiority and sensitivity is the seed of "I'm not good enough" within yourself, and you are always afraid that others will think you are not good. You have a low sense of self-evaluation, but you can change that!

For example, if others think you are good, you think you are good; if others think you are not good, you think you are not good. But you can change that! You have the power to choose whether you are happy or not. You can become more confident and stop letting others' opinions affect you.

So the inner vision will be more, always thinking about their social problems before things happen, binding and limiting themselves.

Now for the second step: building self-confidence!

Every seed has its own infinite vitality, and every life has its own unique characteristics. Everyone has different flaws and strengths. And the best part is, you get to decide how others see you!

For example, when you avoid them, they may think you don't like them. But here's the thing: you can choose to like yourself, and that's a great place to start!

We can't make everyone like us, but we can make ourselves like us! Confident people exude attractiveness. Make yourself strong inside, be yourself. If you feel that you can't do without you at the moment, the most important thing to do is to find the value in your life, and naturally like-minded friends will beckon to you!

And now for the third step to a happier, healthier you! It's time to create a virtuous cycle of self-esteem and self-confidence.

Guess what! You can actually change social interactions just by not paying attention to the judgments of others.

Get out there and join more group activities! You'll be amazed at how much you learn, how much better you'll manage your emotions, and how much more confident you'll feel. You'll become the kind of person others respect and admire. And your self-esteem will be stronger than ever!

I am a world of psychological [Xiao Na Xinxiang] and I love you!

Let's explore and cheer together as we face life!

Hello, topic author! It's like seeing you in person. Your words take me back to high school. I used to worry about fitting in, just like you. I totally get it!

It's totally normal to feel this way! Some people just aren't the best at small talk. When you're out with your classmates, it's natural for the atmosphere to be a little quiet.

Oh, why is that so? It's often because we're afraid of making mistakes.

It's totally normal to be nervous about saying the wrong thing when you're trying to have a good relationship with others. We've all been there! But remember, at this age, talking is supposed to be simple and pure. So don't worry too much about making mistakes. Just talk about your hobbies and dreams. It's okay to make mistakes as long as you're sincere. And you care too much about what other people think.

It's totally okay to talk about your hobbies and dreams! And don't worry about making mistakes, we all do that. It's also good to remember that it's not about what other people think, it's about being yourself.

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It's totally normal to feel a bit nervous when you're hanging out with friends. We've all been there! Sometimes, we worry that we're not interesting enough or that we'll say something silly. But, it's important to remember that your friends love you for who you are, and they're not going to think you're boring.

It's totally normal to feel this way sometimes! Try to be more confident, more enthusiastic, and more relaxed. And remember, you can't control how others act, so don't blame yourself for their attitude.

Oh, and three also wants to join the group chat, but there's just no common topic.

If it's not the right circle, there's no need to force yourself to fit in. If you really find it hard to fit in, you can choose to quietly observe from the side, or you can also observe from the side and see how other people chat. However, I don't think it's a good idea to try to be like them.

In my personal experience, I've found that some social circles tend to gravitate towards certain topics of conversation, and I've come to realize that this style of socializing isn't necessarily the best fit for me. I've learned that there's no need to feel conflicted between being quiet and being generous — they can coexist beautifully!

Sometimes, it's really nice to be a quiet and generous person!

It's totally normal to be proud of yourself and your achievements. But sometimes, this can make it harder to try to please others. This is something we can all relate to! It's not a bad thing, and it's not a sign of arrogance. It's just a sign that you're feeling a little afraid of being hurt. You might have had some negative experiences in the past, and you're worried that you won't get the positive feedback you want.

Of course, your mind will naturally resist doing something that doesn't benefit you. The kind of interaction we encourage is the right kind of interaction.

If you've built a normal and friendly relationship with your classmates, would you still use the word "conformity"? It's possible that the relationship with your classmates is no longer mutual, but has become a unilateral output from you.

It's okay if you believe that other people don't care about you or that you're worthless and not worth anyone's attention. It's possible that this is true, and it's okay if you know this is true but still feel like you can't work hard to improve yourself.

How do you view relationships between people and define your status with others? It's so important to communicate with yourself and with others repeatedly.

It's okay to feel lonely sometimes. You might think that people who spend all their time with a big group of friends at the bar or in karaoke are really happy, but even after all the fun, they might still feel lonely inside. You don't have to worry about trying to please other people. It's perfectly fine to be on your own sometimes. Just be yourself, be kind, and you'll find true friendship along the way.

I wish you a happy and blessed life, my dear friend!

Hello classmate! I read your story and I felt a bit sad, too. But I also felt inspired! You have a way with words and I could really relate to your story. I think you're going to have a great future!

You're eager to join in on their conversations, but it can be a bit intimidating at first. It's natural to feel a little embarrassed, but don't let that stop you! With a little practice, you'll be joining in no time.

Self-esteem is so important! It's not based on false illusions, so if you can overcome this difficulty, your self-esteem will be more stable.

I've got some great suggestions on how you can improve the situation!

1. Be a thoughtful person who cares about others. It's a great idea to find out what people are talking about and what they are interested in before the chat.

2. Kick things off by chatting with a close friend. It'll be easier for you to open up! Talk about learning and other topics that interest both of you. Be sincere!

3. It doesn't matter who you're chatting with, or if you haven't prepared anything. You can still use the following so-called formula for your chat: "Ask questions – repeat – summarize – respond to emotions."

For example, if a classmate says something, you can ask questions about something you're interested in, asking for more details. This shows that you're paying attention to him, and then you can repeat something important he said to you. You can also summarize a little after you've talked for a while: what did we just talk about? And while you're at it, ask, "Are you happy? Are you sad?"

Just follow these simple steps and repeat them endlessly, and your conversations will be endless!

I wish you the best of chats!