How can a 17-year-old girl, who has never had her own room, alleviate psychological discomfort?

It is recommended that you give the subject a hug. It is typical for girls of this age to desire a private space in which to nurture their developing identities. However, not all girls have access to their own rooms in reality, which can contribute to feelings of anxiety.

Furthermore, the college entrance examination is imminent. It is my sincere hope that you will be able to overcome this anxiety and approach the examination in a more positive state of mind.

The following tips are offered in the hope that they will prove useful to the reader.

1. The subject is an elderly individual, and there is no recourse to alter their circumstances. Furthermore, it would be discourteous to request their departure from the room. This would be indicative of a kind and filial child. Additionally, parents often enter without knocking, as the door is typically left open. This may be due to a lack of awareness on the part of the parents.

It can be reasonably argued that the environment of the community, where no one is around, can satisfy this need. The act of rambling on and on is not acceptable in the room, but outside the room is a vast world.

One might inquire whether it is possible to engage in the writing of private matters when the individual's grandmother is absent from the room or after she retires for the night. It is not uncommon for elderly individuals to adhere to a schedule that involves early bedtimes and early rising. This temporal discrepancy may be leveraged to one's advantage (it is uncertain, however, whether this is the case with the aforementioned grandmother).

2. One may also utilize the library as a study space. Even if the individual seated across from you in the library is aware of your activities, it does not necessarily imply that they are privy to the specifics of your endeavors. Whether you are engaged in academic pursuits, perusing literature, or composing written material, you can rest assured that you will not be disturbed. This provides a sense of relative privacy.

Once the emotional release that comes from talking and writing has been achieved, it is possible to return to one's desk and resume work in a more tranquil environment.

Hello! Let me give you a big, warm hug. You've grown up and want to have your own space, and that's great! But it's also important to have a private space inside to contain your emotions or feelings.

You're so afraid to express yourself on a practical level because you're worried about hurting your family, especially your grandmother. But you can be an understanding, well-behaved, independent child in a multi-generational family! Your parents are probably too busy making a living to pay attention to your inner feelings, but I can help! I can give you some understanding and help from a psychological perspective.

Everyone is an individual and needs to be respected. Everyone needs a boundary in order to feel safe. When family members violate your boundaries, it makes you feel uncomfortable. This needs to be expressed, but without emotion. For example, you can say to your parents, "Mom, I want to have my own space. I hope you will knock before entering my room." Or you can say to your grandparents, "Grandma, I hope you won't help me organize my things."

It all depends on their mindset, but you absolutely need to express your needs! When they can't do it, you also need to express it, saying things like, "You're barging into my room at will, and I don't feel comfortable with that, or I'm sad or angry." It's all about expressing emotions in words. Let your parents understand your needs, and they will slowly change, but it will take a process.

Next, give yourself some mental space deep within your heart to store some thoughts and emotions, and release them at the right time. You can go jogging, listen to music, talk to a good friend, etc. – whatever makes you happy!

And finally, get to know yourself, concentrate on your studies, and after the college entrance exam, let yourself go and find a life that you can control. Let hope spread its wings and soar!

Hello, sweet 17-year-old girl who wants some freedom.

After reading your question, I was reminded of my own childhood experiences. I grew up in a room with my sisters, and I couldn't do anything without being watched closely. I complained a lot about this, and I felt really frustrated. Now I think about it, my sisters were going through puberty at the time, and I'm sure they felt even worse than I did. For her, having her own space and being alone meant much more than it did for me.

At 17, you've already said goodbye to the intense emotions of adolescence and are entering a stage where you pay more attention to yourself. From your question, I can tell you're a girl who understands her own needs, which is so admirable! I'm already in my middle years, and at this moment, I'm trying hard to learn to feel my own needs and try to express them. You have such a clear and precise understanding of yourself: [independent space], [reduce internal friction and concentrate on preparing for the exam], [cold family relationships]... As I write this, I suddenly feel like hugging you! I wonder what kind of experience you've had to have such an experience.

I know it can be tough dealing with relatives who are indifferent. It can feel like the family atmosphere is quite depressing. But you are considering the needs of each of them. In such an environment, you strive to break through, like a tree planted in the house, striving to grow upwards. You've got this!

I hope you're having a good day! I just wanted to share a few tips that might help you out.

1. Look for someone in your family who is more self-aware (someone who loves themselves more and wants their own time more), and try to chat with them to tell them what you need. It's likely that they won't accept, but that's okay!

2. In a cold relationship, I think it would also be in line with the characteristics of Chinese parents: focusing on studies. I know it can be tough, but you can do this! Can you apply for a private space under the banner of studying for the exam?

There are always more ways than difficulties, my friend. Even if you take a step back, there is a soft partition in the form of a curtain in your existing room, and this kind of formal satisfaction will also satisfy some of our needs.

3. Grandma and the elderly have a certain routine to their sleeping and waking habits, with little and shallow sleep. As a test candidate, your studies will get a bit delayed.

I know your grandmother is a very important person to you, so I just wanted to suggest that you try to be as considerate as you can of her needs, and also of each other.

I can think of not many ways to do this, and I have a big worry: that after you have tried all the methods, you still cannot shake the current state. This might sound a bit desperate, but there always seems to be a lot of helplessness in our lives. Well, you could try to get yourself a pair of headphones? These headphones have better sound insulation and a more enclosed sound.

If you can't find a way to distance yourself from reality, you can always use this method to create a peaceful space in your heart.

Finally, I, in my middle years, want to give you, a teenager, a hug. I know it might sound a bit cheesy, but I really do believe that the inner sunshine will offset some of the coldness of the indifferent reality.

I wish we could all be together on this journey of self-discovery.

Dear girl, I understand your feelings very well. I know what it's like to be a teenager. Your sense of individuality is rising, and you crave your own independent space. You need some secrets. I give you a big hug and let's explore how to deal with it together!

1. You need a physical space that is independent of your family. It is important to create a psychological space that is separate from them. Your individual consciousness is rising, which is a good thing. You can create physical separation in your family home by using screens, curtains, and other things. Then, when you are writing, wear headphones to reduce distractions.

2. Learn to express your needs without hostility. Even if your family members won't do what you ask, you must learn to reasonably express your needs to them. You will face many similar situations in the future. You may expect that others will not agree with you or do what you ask, but if you never say anything, things will never go your way.

3. The college entrance exam is just around the corner. You need to pay more attention to your inner feelings, follow your heart, and express yourself accordingly. Spend more time with your feelings. Do some relaxation exercises to improve your stress resistance. Learn meditation with Yi Xin. Spend 3-5 minutes a day.

You may find the above information useful. Thank you.

From what you've said, it seems like you've been dealing with this since childhood. It's been tough on you! Now you're in adolescence, facing the college entrance exam, and you want your own space. I understand and I'm supportive of that. My family has had a similar experience. When my child was in junior high school, he said that he wanted his own room (he and his brother had shared a bedroom and another shared study since they were young). At the time, I realized that my child was growing up. I wasn't used to it, but I respected my child (each of them had a bedroom and a study), but I asked him to close the door when going to bed (I was worried about him playing games). After a while, we talked again, hoping to have a truly independent space (asking to close the door) and to enter the room only after knocking and getting permission. He also said, "If I enter your room without knocking and go straight in, is that acceptable...?" Again, I was not used to it, but I was persuaded and still showed respect. After all, we are all independent individuals. In this way, I also won the respect and trust of my child!

Even if they're close like family members, they should also maintain a comfortable distance from each other. This not only respects the child, but also teaches the child to distinguish and respect their own boundaries with others.

Be open and honest with your family members and look for their understanding and support.

It's important to understand the boundaries of family members. When these are clear, it makes the family atmosphere more comfortable and relaxed.

It's a good idea to communicate honestly with your parents, analyze the current situation, and share your thoughts and concerns. Try to gain their understanding and support with a grateful heart and a gentle but firm attitude.

A friend who is a middle school teacher once asked her students what they wanted or needed most during puberty. The most popular answer was "a private space where they won't be disturbed."

An adolescent child who wants an undisturbed private space wants a place to think freely without worrying. An ordinary bedroom door is a tangible boundary and also a place to practice respect (an invisible boundary).

It's time to change your mindset and find a flexible solution.

If you can't find a solution after talking to your parents, it's a good idea to put together a plan that your family can consider.

The college entrance exam is coming up, and it's becoming more important to have a quiet space to study. Is there any way to find a solution? One option is to rent a small apartment until the end of the exam. Another is to partition the room with a curtain or screen. Or, you could agree with your grandmother that a certain time is for studying and you can't enter the room. You can also close the door.

Ultimately, your studies should be your main focus at this stage. I recommend doing your best and trusting in fate. If you try to communicate as much as possible but still can't do anything, you'll just have to accept it for now. Just do your best to face the college entrance exam, and you can live in a dormitory or other accommodation when you go to university.

I didn't have my own room before either. I used to care about it, but I had to accept that it wasn't going to change. Later, through my own efforts, I finally got what I had always wanted.

Life is about self-improvement, and this is the perfect time to start.

Just my two cents, for what it's worth.

Wishing you peace and safety.

Greetings, I am Xin Tan, Coach Fly Free.

The individual may experience a sense of mounting pressure, emanating from various sources including academic expectations, familial dynamics, and other external factors. This pressure can manifest as a desire for a private space to express and process emotions, whether through passive activities such as sitting quietly, writing in a diary, or engaging in other solitary pursuits.

However, these aspirations are ultimately futile and will only exacerbate one's internal turmoil.

I extend a warm embrace. I also experienced this phenomenon during my own formative years. It is not that I lack trust in my parents; rather, as one matures, one tends to prioritize one's own emotional well-being and desires a degree of personal autonomy, encompassing both physical and mental realms. Let us examine the issue and its resolution:

The process of growing up naturally elicits a range of emotions.

The American sitcom Growing Pains, which was a popular programme among our generation during our formative years, has a poignant resonance for us as we mature. As we progress through life, we find ourselves becoming increasingly isolated and alone. It is not that we lack companionship; rather, despite the presence of others, we are unable to connect with individuals who can truly comprehend and empathise with our experiences.

Despite their love for their children, parents often fail to provide the respect, understanding, trust, and support that their children desire. As a result, during the process of growing up, children may choose to communicate less with their parents and instead engage in independent thinking and exploration.

This kind of potential, invisible pressure is particularly pronounced in the context of the college entrance exam. The anxiety that accompanies this pressure can, at times, give rise to hitherto unidentified emotional responses, even in the absence of overt parental or other external influences.

Indeed, this is a universal experience. It can be likened to the process of emerging from a cocoon and metamorphosing into a butterfly, a painful and transformative journey that is nevertheless a crucial phase of growth and development.

Additionally, you have indicated that you engage in solitary activities, engage in repetitive thinking patterns, and maintain a written record of your experiences. These are all effective methods for fostering self-awareness and maintaining a constructive inner dialogue, which can assist in alleviating some of the pressure you are experiencing.

2. There are always multiple potential solutions to any given problem.

In the event that one is unable to secure their own room, it is advisable to employ positive thinking in order to identify a minimum of three potential solutions to the problem at hand.

For instance, one may seek emotional support from one's peers.

Peers are the optimal source of emotional support. It is beneficial to have positive relationships with classmates and friends, whether in one's current class, junior high school, or elsewhere. These individuals can provide valuable support and guidance, whether in person, via WeChat, or by phone.

It is not always necessary to solicit the opinions of others; rather, one can simply listen quietly. The experience of being understood and accepted can foster a profound sense of relaxation.

2) In the event that partitioning one's room is not a viable option, the installation of a curtain may be a viable alternative.

Rather than desiring a distinct physical space, it is preferable to have a separate psychological space. This curtain serves as a formality that enables the maintenance of boundaries.

It is important to note that even if one's parents enter their room without knocking, they still need to provide advance notice if they wish to enter.

3) It is recommended that you take the initiative and communicate with your family in a sincere manner.

It is recommended that you express your true feelings and opinions to your parents and grandmother in a sincere manner. The college entrance examination is approaching, and the pressure is considerable. You desire a relatively independent space and wish to gain their understanding and support.

"Words are not clear," and it is impossible to allow others to conjecture our thoughts. In this way, we can also overcome the impasse of frigid family relationships. Why don't we first become a "builder" of the family atmosphere?

By acquiring the requisite knowledge, one can facilitate the creation of a familial environment characterised by effective communication, harmonious coexistence, warmth and happiness.

It is my sincere hope that the aforementioned information will prove beneficial to you. Best regards, [Your Name]

Should you wish to pursue the discussion further, you are invited to click on the "Find a coach" link, which can be found in the upper right-hand corner or at the bottom of the page. I will engage in further communication and growth with you on an individual basis.

I empathize with the questioner's situation, as my own family includes a boy in junior high school. As long as he is at home, the door is closed, and he requests that we knock before entering. As a parent, I am curious about his activities in his room and have concerns about the quality of his homework and the extent to which he engages in leisure activities.

Upon entering, the child will promptly close the screen on the pad, preventing further observation.

I perceive a certain degree of disorientation, as though my child is undergoing a period of maturation and engaging in less frequent discourse with me. However, I also comprehend my child's perspective, particularly in light of the questioner's account. It is inherent in children to require a degree of autonomy to contemplate, pursue their interests, release pent-up energy, and cope with stress.

The questioner should have been a child who was reassuring to their parents, able to manage their time effectively between study and play. Therefore, the questioner's parents are unlikely to experience concern regarding their child's studies, and may not require close monitoring, speculation, or frequent attention, as is common among parents.

However, this understanding may also contribute to a lack of closeness in the relationship between the questioner and their parents. As the questioner describes, family members tend to engage in their own activities and communicate infrequently. The questioner has become accustomed to addressing challenges and managing emotions independently. The pressure of studying in high school, relationships with classmates, and other factors have intensified. The questioner lacks the support and assistance from their family at home and must confront these challenges independently. Negative emotions are likely to increase significantly, and the demand for independence will also be heightened.

From the perspective of the parents, it seems that the questioner could take the initiative and directly request a room of their own, as the issue does not appear to be a lack of physical space or parental opposition, but rather a lack of awareness on the part of the parents.

The parents are accustomed to the questioner addressing challenges independently, and thus, they have limited communication with the questioner. Consequently, they are unaware of the questioner's evolving psychological and emotional state, and as a result, they are less inclined to offer assistance.

However, the college entrance exam is approaching, and it is reasonable to assume that parents are concerned about their child's studies and emotional stability. It seems likely that if the questioner directly asks their parents for what they want, they will pay attention and discuss solutions with the questioner.

It is advisable to express one's needs directly, rather than relying on the other person to accurately guess or judge them. This is a challenging task for all parties involved. Furthermore, it is a straightforward, direct, and effective method for reducing internal conflict.