How can a senior female student take a year off from school if she doesn't want to do an internship?

Hello, questioner! I'm Evan.

From what the author says, it seems like he made a mistake choosing his college major. It's also clear that he doesn't know what he wants to do with the rest of his life. He wants to change his major, but his family isn't supportive, and he's feeling pretty down about it all. It's important to remember that everyone is different. We all feel confused, miserable, and suffering sometimes, and it can be hard to recognize ourselves and figure out what we want to do with our lives.

I really believe that it's also very important to know and accept yourself before you can find your goals.

Give the questioner a little pat on the shoulder and some strength. We've all been there, facing the conflict between our own choices and those of our family. It can be tough to know how to deal with it. Since the questioner asked the question on the platform, and we've chatted a lot about the questioner's question here, I can only give the questioner a little advice on how to understand yourself and deal with professional issues:

1. Know yourself

It's so important to learn to recognize ourselves, and it's just as important for the questioner to recognize their own strengths and characteristics. We all have different personalities, and that means we all have different strengths and weaknesses. When we understand our strengths and the characteristics we value, it helps us to balance out when we're trying to understand our own shortcomings.

If you're having trouble identifying your strengths, try writing them down on a piece of paper. It can be really helpful to write things out! For example, you could write: "I like to think. I'm more of a hands-on person."

I love exploring myself! I just adore observing things and people in detail.

I'm a very patient person and I'm happy to keep exploring until I get a clear result. I also have a good memory and I can pick up anything quickly.

Keep on discovering your strengths! You don't have to write them all at once. If you can't think of them all at once, don't worry about it. Just write them down as you remember them. This is a great way to get to know yourself!

2. Be kind to yourself and recognize your own negative views of yourself.

It's so important to recognize how you see yourself. We all have those moments where we're not so kind to ourselves, and sometimes we even develop a destructive emotion in order to rebel against a stagnant life. Take the questioner, for example. They're feeling confused and want to switch to a major that interests them, but their family disagrees!

It's totally understandable to feel like you won't be able to develop your favorite major after graduating from university. This feeling might have developed from your family or it might be part of your personality.

When things don't have a clear goal, the questioner will subject themselves to unwarranted harsh criticism, which can really knock their confidence and make them feel down.

For example, shame or disappointment can really get in the way of self-acceptance. It can be really helpful to try to list the negative views of yourself, for example: "I think after graduation I can only intern in the major I am studying now, and I cannot study the major I am interested in."

3. Let's try to find a breakthrough together!

If you're really stuck, you could always try applying to the university for a double degree. Just make sure you're studying one major that you're interested in, and you can always switch to the other one later on!

You could even use your spare time after graduation to study the major you want (painting)! It's very convenient to study now, and many institutions can help people learn the majors they are interested in. There's absolutely no need for the questioner to have some conflict with their family during their university years or while still relying on family support, as this is not conducive to the questioner completing their interests.

I really think that if the questioner can find a way to make things work and find resources to support him in completing his interested major, it would be so much better for everyone than having conflict with his family.

I really hope my answer helps the questioner!

Hello. You mentioned that you started feeling pressure in your throat and started coughing two weeks ago. Just thinking about your parents, with whom you cannot communicate, makes you start to cry uncontrollably.

It's like there's a foreign body in your throat, making it hard to communicate with your parents. It's like they don't understand or support you, so you feel like you're keeping it to yourself.

This kind of pain, with no one to listen to you or support you, can only be expressed by a blocked throat and coughing.

This is really saddening, and I'd like to give you a hug.

You're facing a lot of pressure right now. Your major isn't your favorite, and your classmates have already started preparing for it. When you want to prepare for the postgraduate entrance exam, it's already too late. You feel like time is running out, so you want to take a year or six months off from school to give yourself more time to prepare and do more thorough research. Otherwise, if you fail to pass the exam, this year will be a waste.

You're under a lot of pressure, and you try to relieve it by doing what you like—drawing. But your parents don't understand, and they push you, so you're once again faced with pressure that you didn't want to face in the first place.

You already have low self-esteem, and your parents are putting you down, which makes you feel even worse.

You don't have anyone to talk to about this, you don't get any support, and you feel really powerless. But you can think of a way, find a channel, and ask for help from everyone here. This is where you'll find your strength.

Hello!

Thank you for the invitation and trust.

You've already decided to take a year off school to regroup. You're worried about convincing your parents.

Life is a long journey, not just one year or six months. You are still young, so you can try new things. You need to give yourself confidence, then convince your parents. You have made up your mind, thought of a plan, and now you need to tell your parents about your plan. I believe they will respect your plan.

Why do you want to take a break from school? Write down your thoughts.

Second, what are the problems with taking a break from school?

What is your plan during the break?

What is your goal?

If you've thought about this with your parents, they'll probably support you. If not, you'll have to find another way.

If you think about all these things and come up with a plan, your parents will just be there to support you. They'll see how much you've grown and that you've thought about it carefully. They'll understand that you're making your own decisions.

Sometimes, we blame our parents when things go wrong. We say, "I had no choice; they told me to do it this way." This is childish.

When you can decide and take responsibility for yourself, your parents will learn to let go. You are learning to grow up and take charge of yourself.

As they grow up, people change their roles. When they realize you have grown up and can make decisions for yourself, they will also realize it is time to let go.

Grow up and tell your parents. They'll get used to it.

Hello! I'll give you a hug.

It's summer vacation. When school starts again, we'll be in our fourth year of university. We'll soon be facing the postgraduate entrance exam and finding a job.

This year is a turning point in our lives. We become adults at 18, but people usually graduate from college at 22.

Some people gamble on going to graduate school. Even if they stay in school, they still feel like children. Children don't have to support their families.

You are in your fourth year of university. You are at a crossroads in life. You will probably be able to support yourself after graduating.

You're not ready to move on to the next stage of your life, but you know you should. You can't keep taking a leave of absence without graduating or working.

You try to postpone your transition. You decide to take a break from school.

I want to take the postgraduate entrance exam, but I haven't started preparing. I should work, but I don't like my major.

Thinking about going to an internship, you feel desperate. You even get a cough.

You cry when you think about your parents, who can't communicate. Your body and mind are telling you to take a break from school.

If you want to take a break from school, your parents probably won't stop you. The university's policy doesn't require parental consent. But you still want your parents' support.

If you want to take a break from school, make your symptoms seem worse. For example, if you have a problem with your throat and can't speak. If not, pretend.

You can act like you don't want to go to university. But you're only pretending.

It depends on your relationship with your parents. I'm not sure if it will work.

Your parents asked why you couldn't persevere. So you developed symptoms to show them why.

Then think about what kind of life you want. You don't need to think long, just a year. How will you spend it?

But you still need to have your own path, even if it's not very clear. For example, you said you would take a year off from school, or even six months.

You can leave your peers for a while, but not forever. You can be a maverick if you want, but we all need to support ourselves.

Your parents might be okay with it, but I'm more concerned about what you want and what you're afraid of. You can leave the main group, but you still need to have your own path.

Talk to a counselor.

I'm a counselor who is sometimes depressed but mostly optimistic. I love the world and you.

Everyone has the potential to be a beacon of light. Whether you ask a question or answer one, your words can illuminate the hearts of many people, and this is a power that we all share.

Hello, I am Fei Yun, a heart exploration coach. I understand your feelings of depression and frustration. It seems that you are not happy with your major and are reluctant to enter the stressful state of preparing for the postgraduate entrance exam like your classmates. You are unsure about doing an internship, but when you communicate with your parents, they don't understand or support you. This has caused you a lot of stress, and you have even developed some negative bodily reactions.

Let's take a moment to address the issue that's on your mind. I'm here to offer you a warm embrace and support.

?1. Experiencing a sense of unease in the face of the pressure of "graduation means unemployment."

It's possible that a significant portion of your stress stems from the influence of those around you.

Given that you and your classmates are on the same starting line, it is perhaps more comparable. They began preparing for the postgraduate entrance exam at the beginning of the year, which may give you the impression that you are lagging behind, becoming passive, and seem to be eliminated. Alexander.

Finding a job after graduation is stressful enough, and when you add in a major you don't like, it can make you feel very confused for a while. You may wish to consider whether you should do what your classmates are doing and continue to study for the postgraduate entrance exam in your major, or whether you should first do an internship and then find a job.

In the face of indecision, you chose to take a step back and allow yourself some time to reflect. This way of "evading" is actually your self-protection mechanism, allowing you to avoid the potential discomfort that might arise from making a choice.

However, when you choose not to make a choice, you are faced with a new challenge: whether you can gain your parents' understanding and support. This can be a difficult situation to navigate.

? 2. A lack of motivation may be the result of self-doubt and low self-esteem.

You mention that you feel inferior, particularly in light of the experiences and emotions you've had over the past month. It's important to recognize that inferiority is a subjective feeling that arises when we compare ourselves to others. It's not a fact, but rather a perception.

While it is a challenging major that you may not be particularly enthusiastic about, getting into university is already a significant achievement that many people do not achieve. You have demonstrated resilience and dedication by persisting for three years, which is commendable.

The university and the major you study are just a bridge to our dreams in life. It is also not uncommon for individuals to "major in the wrong subject" during the career selection process.

It is possible to pursue what you like and do what you need to do at the same time. Internships can be a great way to consolidate and build on what you have learned in the past three years. If you plan your time well, you can still take care of your interests and hobbies during the internship. In fact, you may even be more efficient.

"There are always more than three solutions to every problem." If this approach doesn't work, it might be helpful to consider exploring another way.

Regarding communication with your parents, if you have carefully considered your options and are prepared to take a break from the internship for a period of six months or a year, you can express your true feelings and thoughts, including the fact that you have already experienced some physical reactions due to your concerns about the future internship.

It would be beneficial to listen to your parents' views and thoughts. From their perspective, your behavior and choice may not be in line with your responsibilities, and it would be helpful to express your understanding to them. Within their perception, their worry about their child's future is as important as their worry about their child's health.

If both parties are willing to accept this solution and it is feasible for you, I believe you can find a way to come to an agreement. I also believe that your parents will understand and be willing to make concessions regarding your physical and mental health.

However, it would be advisable to ensure that you have given this matter the consideration it deserves and have made a well-informed decision to forego the internship and take some time to recuperate.

Additionally, it may be helpful to consider some meditation exercises as a way to relieve anxiety and reduce stress. This could also be an opportunity to develop your ability to connect with yourself.

I hope the above is helpful to you, and I hope it helps the world too. I love you.

If you would like to continue our dialogue, you are welcome to click on the "Find a coach" link, which you will find in the upper right corner or at the bottom of the page. I would be delighted to work with you on a one-to-one basis as we explore the possibilities together.

Hello, questioner. I'm Wang Yan, your listening coach.

First of all, you can take some time to process your stress and struggles. It's not easy to persevere until now.

Taking a break from school might seem like the easiest way to avoid the overwhelming challenges of the present. But I wonder if avoiding them is the best way to completely resolve stress.

You've worked hard to get to this point, and although you're not particularly fond of the major, you've persevered. If you leave now, you'll never know what the future holds.

Your parents may also be worried that there will be changes and that years of hard work will be wasted, so they want to give you a nudge, but they don't fully consider that you are already carrying a lot.

When we feel helpless, avoidance and regression are common ways to deal with pressure. Back at home, your family can take care of you, just like when you were a child.

I can see that you want to go back to do something you like and increase your strength, and then come back when you feel better. There's absolutely no problem with that.

However, if there's a way to divide your stress without running away, would you be open to trying it?

First, is taking the postgraduate entrance exam a must for you? Is it out of interest, employment, or an academic pursuit that you choose to further your studies?

If you've thought it through and you're set on taking the leap, this focus can help you tackle some of the pressure. If this step isn't necessary, you can still make new choices, and the pressure will be much less.

It can feel like everyone else around you is already ahead of you, even though you haven't even started studying for the exam yet. It's natural to want to show your strengths to others, but it's also important to acknowledge your weaknesses.

The truth is, we have no way of knowing how others are preparing or whether they're making much progress. We can't control it. We can only say whether we've done better than yesterday, and we can only control our own efforts.

As long as you've made progress compared to where you started, that's great. Hard work is only about you.

It seems like you're struggling with self-esteem and confidence. When you're facing challenges, do you find it difficult to talk to people about it, and do you feel the pressure of interpersonal relationships? You have two main resources you can use: the psychological counseling room at your school and career counseling. You can also draw on the experience of your teachers.

You can also turn to your senior classmates and close friends. It's likely that they're facing similar pressures, so they can offer helpful advice on how to handle them.

You don't have to go through this alone.

④ Keep a mood diary. Writing about your mood every day can help you cope with your emotions and understand how your state of mind is changing.

You might want to try putting your thoughts on paper.

You might have more options after doing these things when it comes to whether or not to take a break from school, and how to do it.

I admire you for thinking about doing the things you love and holding onto hope for the future at a time like this. It shows me that there is always a positive outlook in your heart, and I believe that this is your greatest strength.

Hello!

I totally get it! I can really relate to your inner conflict, pain, and helplessness. You're not alone!

It can be tough to convince your parents to let you take a break from school. After all, changing other people's minds, even parents', is tricky! But don't worry, we're here to help. Let's sort out your problems together and see if there's any help or inspiration we can offer.

Let's talk about interests, careers, and the future!

I'm discussing this with you because you're now in your fourth year of university and are about to face the exciting life choices of entering society or taking postgraduate entrance exams! This may be a new challenge for you, and perhaps you're not yet mentally prepared, which is why you want to avoid it and take a break from school. But these are things you will have to face sooner or later, and there's no point in avoiding them — so let's embrace them!

Hobbies are the things in our lives that we use to entertain ourselves and gain a sense of satisfaction. They're a great way to relax and have fun! A career, on the other hand, is something that allows us to settle down in society. It's a chance to make a living and establish ourselves in the world. And the best part is that you can have both! You can have a career that supports you financially and a hobby or two that you love. So, start thinking about what you're interested in and what you'd like to do. Then, start making plans to turn your hobby into a career!

Finding a career you love is a dream come true! But it's not easy. And even if you do find your dream job, it might not be exciting forever.

In this light, your idea of "spending half a year teaching myself something I've been interested in since high school" may not be the most reasonable choice. But there are so many other possibilities! Perhaps you could think about it differently and make your interests a part of your daily life. Find time to develop your interests and do something you enjoy to relieve stress. For example, while studying for the postgraduate entrance exam, you could also find time to paint a few pictures to relax. This is also a good way to balance your life.

Now, let's dive into the fascinating topic of inferiority and self-confidence!

In fact, inferiority and confidence are also two emotional states. Sometimes we find ourselves oscillating between the two, and that's okay! We all have moments where we feel worthless or shameful. I wonder if your recent state of inferiority is related to stress. When we want to escape when we are stressed, inferiority will sneak in unconsciously. But you can choose to recognize it and shift your mindset!

You can build your confidence by looking at the other side of yourself more often and feeling what it's like to be successful. Let your confidence grow slowly and steadily! This is a process of conscious cultivation, and it's an exciting one!

Let's talk about communication with parents and independence!

You're on the brink of becoming an adult, which is an exciting time! It's a time of separation from your biological family. This separation is not only about financial independence and gradually becoming less dependent on your parents, but also about psychological separation and independence.

You're on your way to becoming an independent, confident individual! You'll soon be able to express your feelings and demands to your parents in a calm, rational way. And when you can't persuade them, you'll know how to act according to your own wishes. You'll have the freedom to make your own decisions and live your life on your terms.

You've got this! It might be tough right now, but you have the most invincible thing on your side: youth. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. You have plenty of time to correct them. What you need is to be braver and stronger, think clearly, and work hard to live the life you want! Good luck!

I really hope the reply from Hongyu helps you! Thank you so much for asking!

Hello!

You're in your fourth year of university and stressed because all your friends are preparing for postgraduate entrance exams. You want to take a break from your studies for half a year or a year to do something you're interested in, but your parents don't agree.

Feel your stress, disappointment, and anxiety.

You asked two questions. I'll help you understand them.

Should you take the postgraduate entrance exam, do an internship, or take a leave of absence?

You're stressed because everyone around you is preparing for postgraduate entrance exams, while you're not. Your major is not something you're passionate about. You think doing something you're interested in can adjust your state of mind and give you more confidence.

This is a good idea, but you might not succeed or gain confidence even if you take a year off to paint.

Ask yourself: Do you want to take a year off to paint because it's appealing or because you don't want to face the pressure of exams or the competition for graduation jobs?

You can paint at any time, and it's not easy to take a break from school. You can paint to relax after school, not to escape.

Why do you think you can't continue with your studies? Many college students don't like their major.

Look at your classmates. Do they all have confidence in their postgraduate entrance exams or internships? Are they all struggling?

You're not alone. Everyone has these problems.

I hope you can

First, figure out if you're doing it because you're interested or because you're avoiding something.

Second, don't think of it as taking a break from school. You can study and paint at the same time, or after graduation, you can skip the postgraduate entrance exam or internship, and start painting.

You can also talk to your classmates about how they're preparing and support each other.

Your parents have opinions about this.

It hurts when your parents reject your interests and hobbies. You feel misunderstood, sad, and depressed. Perhaps they don't understand you, or perhaps you didn't express yourself well.

Your parents may not understand why you can't persevere.

Your parents understand. You're almost done with school. There's no reason to take a break now. They think it will hurt your grades.

It's hard to convince your parents. We're not fully independent yet, and they have to make decisions about our choices.

I hope you can

First, understand your thoughts and explain your reasons. Don't just ask for support.

If your parents can't be convinced, don't despair. We are all individuals.

While studying, you can use different methods to relax. For example, your favorite painting can calm you down.

You can find someone to talk to, or keep a diary. Meditation can also help.

I'm Haru Aoki. I love you.