How can a weak-hearted woman not be tempted by the traps of consumerism?

Hello, question asker!

First, I'm happy you're aware of your current issues, recognize them, and are actively seeking solutions. This is an important first step in finding the right way to tackle the problem.

Secondly, you say you feel vain and always want to compare yourself with others, for example buying bags, skin care products, cosmetics, etc.

From what you've said, I'm guessing that your vanity and comparison issues mostly relate to material things.

Bags, cosmetics, new clothes, pretty jewelry, and so on, right?

If this is the case for the majority of your answers, then you can think about the following points in relation to your own situation.

▶Do you currently have a reliable source of income? Are the daily expenses that you would consider to be vanity spending beyond your financial means?

Are you spending more than you should?

If you answered "no" to all of the above questions except the first one, it's likely that your vanity and desire to compare yourself with others hasn't yet had a significant financial impact on your life.

You've identified the issue, but it's only at the psychological level for now. You feel this situation isn't good or right and want to change it.

There's one more thing to think about: Do you like these things?

Or, to rephrase the question, if a friend of yours has just bought a new bag that's not cheap but still within your budget, but the style, color scheme, etc. aren't really your thing, would you still buy it because of the mentality of "if I see someone else has it, I want it too"?

I'm also a girl, and we all know how it goes with clothes—you always seem to be missing an item in your wardrobe.

Of course, you can spend money on things you like and that suit you, within your means. This could be clothes, bags, cosmetics, and so on. You've worked hard to earn your money, so there's no reason you can't buy what you like.

But when you see someone else with a new bag, you think it looks good and you like it. Since everyone else has one, you figure you can have it too and go buy it.

It's different from seeing someone else with a new bag and buying one just because they have it and you don't.

The two situations are quite different. In a way, the second situation can have a more serious psychological and financial impact on us.

There are millions of people in this world, and it's not realistic to think we'll always have what others have. Even if we only consider our friends, classmates, and colleagues, it's not easy to achieve.

So, there will always be situations where others have what you don't. But what's the point?

It's even gotten to the point of calling it "vanity" and "competition." After all, it's not like these are daily necessities that we need to survive, or even "luxuries" that we buy for our basic needs. Every day, the world sees thousands of new products.

If you interact with lots of people at work and in your personal life, you might find yourself wanting to buy dozens or even hundreds of things because of the comparison.

I know this might sound a bit extreme, but if you keep comparing yourself to others, what you can afford now might not be within your reach in the future.

It's important to remember that the human heart is a complex thing. Desire can be a tricky emotion to navigate. Sometimes, if you let it grow, you may think you can control it, but the result is often unpredictable. It's not a good idea to regret it later. What are your thoughts on this?

So, since you've already identified your issues and started seeking help, why not take some time to reflect and gain a deeper understanding of your own psychology? This will help you pinpoint the core of the problem and more effectively find solutions.

Let's go back to the original question. If you answered "yes" to any of the first few questions, it probably means this psychology of yours has already had an impact on your daily life. You want to change it because you see these less than positive aspects.

If you're already feeling the pinch financially and it's starting to affect your daily life, it could be a sign that you're struggling with the "comparison complex". At the very least, if your spending is way above your income, but you still can't stop spending, or even if you're spending money on things that don't really matter,

In this context, meaningless means buying something you don't need, don't like, and can't afford just to compare yourself to others.

It can be tough to figure this out on your own and eliminate this kind of thinking and behavior. If you can, it's probably a good idea to seek professional psychological help.

That said, from what the questioner has said, it might not have reached that level yet, but since I'm not sure about the specifics, I've covered a few different levels.

At the end of the day, vanity and comparison often stem from neglecting our inner selves.

The relentless pursuit of external add-ons in the hope that others, or at least the way you appear to be, will see you as outstanding or superior.

But when you really think about it, you're just fooling yourself.

From now on, pick up a hobby like reading, exercising, or writing to enrich your inner self. Don't worry too much about your outer appearance.

Of course, that doesn't mean you shouldn't spend money, dress up, buy bags, jewelry, cosmetics, etc. There's nothing wrong with spending reasonably, and there's certainly nothing wrong with loving beauty. It's not a problem to be a little vain, but we can't just want these things, can we?

Time flies, beautiful faces will age, and new bags will become outdated. I hope that every girl can look at her closet full of bags and clothes after years of hard work and say to herself, "This is all the achievements we made when we were young!"

You can also find the value and meaning of your life through the wisdom you have gained over time, and achieve a peaceful and open state of mind. While walking, a little girl exclaims, "Wow, that grandma is so elegant, she looks so 'cool,' I want to be like that when I grow up!"

There's no right or wrong, and there's no good or bad. There are just different choices. But for now, you get to decide.

All right, then. Best wishes!

Good morning. I must admit that I am prone to vanity and comparison. I find myself frequently evaluating my appearance and purchasing decisions against those of others, particularly in terms of bags, skincare products, and cosmetics. I believe that the desire to compare oneself to others is a common human tendency.

It depends on whether you are comparing yourself with your strengths. It is clear that people who enjoy shopping must have a solid financial foundation.

People are driven to seek external validation and recognition. During infancy, a child's ability to influence their environment is limited. In order to gain the attention and affection of their primary caregiver, they may attempt to emulate their behavior, assuming that if they are like them, they will be loved.

As we mature, we gain the capacity to be our authentic selves. However, we still seek to be valued and recognized by others. This presents a challenge. Our natural inclination is to align with the majority in order to facilitate connections and a sense of belonging. Consequently, we tend to follow trends. In fact, our inner fear is that if we don't follow the latest fashion, our value will be overlooked and we will lose a sense of belonging.

It is important to understand the source of this mentality. Our value is not determined by others; it is determined by the energy within us. The more we love and accept ourselves, the more we understand that we are unique and one-of-a-kind. Our value does not need to follow trends and deliberately be the same as others. We want this limited edition of ourselves, and I, who have none of the others, is the most scarce resource. The most unique self with personality and charm is the king.

You inquire, "How can I be a woman who is not tempted by consumerism?" The consumer trap is pervasive. Those who adhere to trends are the ones who are drawn in, rather than remaining detached. If an individual is unable to regulate their emotions, it indicates that there is still significant growth potential within.

In the adult world, no one controls another. Only those who relinquish their autonomy and are amenable to manipulation will fall prey to the associated pitfalls.

In light of the above, I would be grateful if you could confirm whether you have ever been the victim of manipulation. Furthermore, I would like to ascertain whether you would be willing to engage in such behaviour yourself.

It is important to note that being manipulated is a personal choice.