light mode dark mode

How can I control my emotions in front of my dearest ones?

emotional control family dynamics politeness temper management regret and apology
readership9617 favorite64 forward24
How can I control my emotions in front of my dearest ones? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

As mentioned, I'm not good at controlling my emotions in front of my family. In the presence of colleagues and even friends, I am always polite and considerate, and my friends have high opinions of me. However, I tend to lose my temper with my closest relatives, regretting it immediately after, and then going to apologize. But after doing this repeatedly, I also get tired of myself, feeling rather harsh towards them, which is very troubling. I've seen a saying that one is always most revealing of their true self in front of the closest people. But the true self turns out to be so terrifying and harsh, it's truly frightening, and I also feel very inferior, thinking my temper is too bad. Do you have any suggestions?

Lucy Young Lucy Young A total of 391 people have been helped

Hello, question asker! I can see the confusion you are facing right now, but I'm here to help! Hugs to you!

You are experiencing some emotional problems, but you're going to be just fine! Here's another warm hug to help you through this.

You always have trouble controlling your emotions in the presence of your closest people, but you can do it!

That's because you know that "home is never a place for reasoning, but for love."

Our emotional capacity is limited, but that's okay! When we suppress it for too long, it can lead to an emotional breakdown or even an explosion. So, it's important to release those negative emotions regularly. How do you do that? Well, you could try punching the walls of your house with a boxing glove!

So, what should you do now?

I would highly, highly recommend that you release your negative emotions more often!

For example, keep a boxing glove at home!

Then the next time you feel negative emotions towards your family, put on the boxing gloves and let it all out on the walls of your house!

Or buy a pillow that's not your usual style!

Next time you feel negative emotions, just punch a pillow!

My mother had this amazing trick for avoiding losing my temper with my family.

That's right! When you're feeling really emotional, don't speak. Just keep your mouth shut!

In other words, when you are very emotional, it's best to remain silent!

And always remember the truth that "silence is golden," because you absolutely can't go wrong!

I really, truly hope that the problem you're facing can be resolved soon!

Now I can think of only these things!

I really hope my answer is helpful and inspiring to you! I am the answer, and I study hard every day!

Here at Yixinli, the world and I love you! Best wishes!

Helpful to meHelpful to me 185
disapprovedisapprove0
Nathaniel James Anderson Nathaniel James Anderson A total of 3932 people have been helped

Our emotions are like traffic lights, letting us know when something or someone needs our attention. There's no such thing as a good or bad emotion, but if we don't express them in the right way, they can sometimes lead to not-so-great consequences.

It's these bad consequences that make us feel afraid.

It's totally normal to be afraid of letting your emotions get the better of you. We all have them! It's just that sometimes we worry about expressing them, or we're afraid of being seen as rude if we show our true feelings. We might even worry about pleasing others at the expense of our own needs. It's a tricky balance, but it's important to remember that while this behavior might earn you praise from others, you're the only one who truly knows how you're feeling.

It's totally normal to lose your temper with the people around you sometimes. It can be a great way to release pent-up control-my-emotions-what-should-i-do-2120.html" target="_blank">anger.

I think what you're talking about is a temper tantrum, which is basically rage. What kind of emotion is it?

Anger can be described as blocked energy that seeks to be released externally to repair the blocked connection. Anger has four characteristics: high energy, seeking release, directed externally, and highly mobile.

It's like holding a lot of energy inside, right? And when we suppress it, it just builds up and builds up until we finally let it out. And when we let it out, it can be pretty intense! That's why it's so important to let it out at the right time and at the right place.

How can we express it correctly? Well, we have several options! First, this anger needs to be vented at the right person.

We can't just smile at everyone outside, suppress the anger inside, and then start to vent it when we get home. That's not the right way to handle things.

Second, when you feel angry, take a few deep breaths to feel what's going on in your body. You might feel shaky or like your throat is on fire. Take a moment to think about what's behind this anger.

What do you need right now? And what kind of connection do you want to have with the other person?

Then, after a few deep breaths, you may be able to achieve a reasonable level of control and express yourself to the other person in an appropriate tone of voice and body posture. You've got this!

In a nutshell, emotions are like signal lights. Don't be afraid of anger! It's a reminder of what we need and the kind of connection we want to have with the other person. Accept these emotions, accept the feelings in your body, and express them in a way that's appropriate for the person you're talking to.

Helpful to meHelpful to me 320
disapprovedisapprove0
Leo Knight Leo Knight A total of 2107 people have been helped

Good day, landlord. From your description, I can appreciate the kind of mood you're in. It seems that every time your temper flares up, you lose control of yourself, but afterwards you regret it very much. There is a popular saying that goes: "We save our good temper for strangers and give our bad temper to the people closest to us." I hope that my sharing can help you and provide you with a new understanding of anger.

Furthermore, you stated in the article that you regret your outbursts. Why do you allow strangers to influence your temperament, yet not those closest to you? However, when anger arises, it is challenging to maintain control. If it is not expressed, it can become overwhelming.

What are the origins of anger and what are its defining characteristics?

Anger is one of the fundamental emotions experienced by humans. It is characterized by its explosive, rapid, and destructive nature. This can be observed in newborn infants. When their behavior is restrained, their activities are controlled, and they are forced to sleep, they express anger through crying.

American psychologist Jacques Hillard posited that anger is an unpleasant emotional response to a perceived injustice or unbearable frustration. It serves as a signal that one is aggrieved and in need of catharsis.

However, in physiological terms, anger is understood differently. When we become angry for some reason triggered by the outside world, the amygdala in the brain will immediately release dopamine, which causes physiological changes in us, such as a faster heart rate and higher blood pressure. In this situation, our rational thinking is too slow to react, so we will act in ways that hurt others.

In this regard, another celebrity has provided a succinct summary of this concept: Verena Kast states, "Any form of anger implies an aggression towards the environment and the world around you."

It is therefore unsurprising that when an individual is dominated by anger, they will engage in inappropriate behavior during moments of intense emotional distress.

Indeed, it is possible to exert control over one's anger.

Anger has its roots in self-blame, a phenomenon that is intrinsic to human nature. A clear understanding of anger allows us to gain insight into our own emotional state. Anger, an emotion that can exert a powerful influence, can be managed in a way that turns adversity into a driving force for change, rather than a means of inflicting harm on those who deserve it.

The following method may be employed to regulate one's anger.

American emotion management expert Dr. Ronald posits that research indicates that a storm of anger typically lasts no more than 12 seconds. He asserts that while such an outburst may appear destructive, it ultimately dissipates, and that controlling these 12 seconds can resolve negative emotions.

It is my hope that you will learn to control your emotions for 12 seconds. Should you feel that 12 seconds is too brief, you may extend the period to 24 seconds. If you can refrain from acting on your emotions for 12 seconds each day, you will succeed.

Furthermore, effective communication with loved ones is crucial. It can be argued that the root cause of anger often lies within oneself. This is because individuals who have limited communication with their family members may find it easier to express their frustration and dissatisfaction with friends, who they interact with more frequently.

It is recommended that individuals communicate more frequently with their loved ones and utilize the 12-second emotional control time effectively. It is also hoped that individuals can manage their emotions with the assistance of this 12-second control time.

It is my hope that these thoughts will prove beneficial.

Helpful to meHelpful to me 635
disapprovedisapprove0
Enid Enid A total of 1659 people have been helped

Hello, I hope this message finds you well. I just wanted to drop you a quick line to say hello.

I'm happy to see that you're working on your personal growth.

Being polite and considerate to others is a great way to maintain the high value you set in other people's eyes. It helps you gain the affirmation and recognition of others, as well as friendship and respect. It's also a need for self-growth and survival and development. It's like when you get a script, you need to play a role well. You have to do your best to play it well to win the audience's recognition and affirmation.

When you get home, though, it's a different story. You subconsciously believe that home is a place to relax, so you don't feel the need to act in any particular way. But that means you can't be happy, harmonious, and emotionless outside.

If you don't deal with your emotions properly outside, you just let them build up inside you. When you're under too much pressure, these pent-up emotions will come out in a relaxed state.

This is why you get angry with your family. It's also why you regret it later, because getting angry doesn't fit the image you have of yourself.

It's not about feeling inferior, because we all have moments where we feel that way. When you lose your temper, you're actually just converting emotional energy. Learn to convert that energy into something positive.

We won't lose our cool.

For instance, if you see a full trash can at work, you won't get angry. You might even help the cleaning lady throw away the trash to maintain a good image.

But at home, you might get really angry when you see the same trash can. The same thing happens in different situations, but you act differently, not because the trash can has changed, but because how you see the trash can has changed.

Your family was busy and asked you to take out the trash. You didn't help, and you also lost your temper at your family.

The thing is, your mindset has changed. You don't feel the same empathy for the trash.

If you think your family is busy too and you feel you can help out, you'll stay calm when they ask you to do something and you'll be happy to do it.

If you're feeling emotional, you can let it out through music, sports, etc. Don't try to control your emotions; learn to express them and organize your emotions before returning home. Here are some examples of ways to express emotions. For example, when you return home, you're in a bad mood, and your family is asking you to do this and that, which annoys you and you're on the verge of an explosion.

You can tell your family, "I'm feeling a bit down right now and need some time to myself," or "I had a lot on my plate at work today, and I'm tired. I'll get it done after I've had a chance to rest."

"

By showing your family your vulnerable side, you can gain their understanding and support by expressing your emotions. They'll understand that you're not avoiding them, but that you're in a tough spot right now.

This interaction helps you understand your family better and change your habit of losing your temper. When you express your emotions, you can better understand your own perceptions, and you become better and better.

Best regards!

I'm Chu Mingdeng, and I just wanted to say that I love you, the world!

Helpful to meHelpful to me 174
disapprovedisapprove0
Victoria King Victoria King A total of 3049 people have been helped

It is innate to be critical of those in one's immediate circle. However, it is a learned behavior to overcome this instinct and refrain from being critical of those in one's inner circle.

Zhou Guoping

In the name of love, one may cause harm. It is human nature to place unrealistic expectations on those we value.

Once parents, we are now in a position where we are repeating the expectations that our parents once had of us. When we are faced with them alone, we always believe in the perfect family in our hearts, and we are unwilling to accept the ordinariness of the family unit and our own reality.

One's authentic self remains constant regardless of external influences. Regardless of one's stage of life, one's fundamental identity remains intact. This identity is evident in one's interactions with family members and colleagues alike.

The distinction lies in one's perception of their actions. Human beings are imperfect, and each possesses a combination of positive and negative traits. These attributes collectively constitute the complete self.

One must not be afraid of one's own shortcomings. Only through self-acceptance can one facilitate genuine change. In the absence of self-recognition, the efficacy of so-called change is inherently limited.

The tolerance of loved ones serves as the foundation for our ability to indulge, thereby reducing the costs associated with mistakes. Each individual possesses a unique capacity for darkness and a distinct level of decision-making autonomy. While the desire to indulge oneself when the cost is minimal is a common human inclination, it is not the only or necessarily the most effective approach.

There are numerous methods for regulating emotions and expressing feelings. One may indulge oneself with those closest to one's heart, surrounded by love, and achieve release through the least costly method one deems appropriate.

It is often overlooked that in such emotionally manipulative situations, we lose sight of the most important aspects of life.

The initial step in effecting positive change is to acknowledge and confront the shortcomings of the self. By doing so, individuals can begin to move in a more constructive direction. To ensure that subsequent actions align with one's values and aspirations, it is essential to engage in a process of introspection and reflection. This approach allows for the formulation of well-informed decisions that are not based on avoidance or impulsivity.

Helpful to meHelpful to me 834
disapprovedisapprove0

Comments

avatar
Howard Miller Honesty is the yeast that makes the dough of relationships rise.

I totally understand how you feel. It's common to let our guard down around family, but we shouldn't take it out on them. Maybe setting some personal goals for emotional responses can help us react better over time.

avatar
Moses Jackson Learning is a journey that enriches our lives with depth and breadth.

It sounds like you're really hard on yourself, and that's understandable. Have you considered speaking with a therapist? Sometimes an outside perspective can offer tools to manage emotions more effectively in close relationships.

avatar
Barlow Davis The more we grow, the more we realize our potential is limitless.

You seem to be aware of your behavior and its impact, which is already a big step. Perhaps practicing mindfulness or meditation could help you stay calm in stressful situations at home.

avatar
Bogart Davis Knowledge of different educational philosophies and scientific discoveries is valuable.

Your feelings are valid, and it's great that you're reflective about your actions. A simple technique might be to pause and count to ten before reacting, giving you a moment to choose a more constructive response.

avatar
Alonzo Davis A well - versed person in many fields is a prism that disperses the light of knowledge into its various colors.

It's admirable that you apologize after losing your temper. Continuing this while also seeking ways to prevent the outbursts can make a huge difference. Try to identify triggers and work on addressing those specifically.

More from Soul Share Cove

This feature is under maintenance and update.
Close