How can I feel comfortable when talking to friends?

From your description, it is evident that you are distressed by your inability to feel at ease with your friends. It is clear that you are motivated to change.

Let us examine this matter together.

Firstly, it was indicated that there are occasions when the ability to express oneself is still relatively intact, which serves to demonstrate that there is still a certain degree of capacity to express oneself.

As time progresses, one's social circle may become more intimate, yet one feels a lack of meaningful communication. One may experience a sense of being observed, as though every action is subject to external scrutiny. This can lead to feelings of constraint and discomfort, prompting a desire to disengage. What were your thoughts in that moment?

Consider the subjective experience of being watched and restricted. How does this feeling manifest in the presence of individuals outside of one's immediate social circle, such as siblings, parents, colleagues, or leaders?

For how long have you experienced this phenomenon? The examination of these issues may facilitate a breakthrough. Now that you are aware of this interpersonal processing mode that causes discomfort and motivates change, this is your greatest motivation.

This is a noteworthy achievement.

We will now return to the initial point in time. You indicated that there are occasions when you are able to express yourself effectively. I would like you to consider the situations in which you are able to express yourself well and how you feel when you do so. By paying attention to these situations, you can create more opportunities for this kind of experience in the future.

As a result of accumulating experiences, even when faced with challenging circumstances, individuals may become less inclined to avoid such situations. This is because they have gained valuable insights and knowledge, which can enhance their resilience and foster a belief in their capacity to improve and adapt.

It is my hope that this will prove helpful or inspiring to you, and that you will find success in your endeavors.

Hello, I'm Gu Daoxi, also known as Fengshou Slender Donkey.

If you want to get along better with your friends and feel more comfortable with them, you need to first understand the different types of socialization your friends have. There are generally four types of social distance.

Type 1 is the closest distance, which we often refer to as "intimate."

At this distance, relationships can be very close, like those between partners and parents.

Type 2 is what we call "friends distance." This is a relationship that is slightly more distant than an intimate one.

There's less physical contact, and people don't talk about everything. There's a slight reserve between them. This type of distance is usually used in informal social situations.

Type 3 is what we call "social distance." This is a more formal relationship based on sociality and etiquette.

For instance, when you first meet your boss, you'll greet him politely and introduce yourself formally.

Type 4 is the public distance, which is basically the distance between people you meet in parks and shopping malls, and between speakers and audiences on stage.

Your social distance lets you decide how close you want to be to your friends. Think about what social distance you'd like to have with your friends.

Aside from social distance, personality also plays a role in interpersonal relationships. Extroverts tend to have an advantage in these interactions.

You can find topics that will help move the conversation along. However, introverted and sensitive people may not be very good at coming up with topics, and I'm not very outgoing either.

In this case, my suggestion is as follows.

1. Learn to listen. When you're stuck for a topic, just go along with the other person's and chip in now and then to keep the conversation going.

2. Find out what your colleagues like and learn about their preferences so you can talk about more common topics.

3. Read more, and you'll have more to contribute to the conversation when the other person runs out of things to say.

If none of this seems like a good fit, I suggest finding a field you're interested in and becoming an expert in it. This can boost your confidence, and confidence will drive your other energy fields. It will make you more attractive.

In addition to the above, the questioner can review how they gradually became unable to find things to say in their interactions with friends. There are usually a few main reasons for being unable to find things to say:

1. When you're geographically distant, it can lead to a long psychological distance, which can result in a lack of contact and a decline in intimacy.

2. Because of work, family, and other things, the two of you don't have a lot in common anymore. When there's less common ground, it's harder to find things to talk about.

3. I was always rejected by friends, which damaged my self-esteem and self-confidence long-term. I became reluctant to interact with friends as a result.

In fact, there are no absolutely extroverted people in the world, nor are there absolutely introverted people. You may have nothing to say with A, but you may be able to talk endlessly with B. My former high school classmate was like this. There were no conflicts, but I still had nothing to say with him. But he could talk endlessly with the students in front of us. So like-minded people with similar interests can become even closer friends.

Even if they don't say much to each other, they won't feel awkward and will feel very natural. A friend of mine and I haven't seen each other for many years, but when we're together, whether it's noisy or quiet, we feel very comfortable.

I hope these thoughts are helpful for the person who asked the question. Best wishes!

You can read her mind, and sharing has become a habit! I'm talking to myself, but I'm sure you understand.

Friendships are a great blessing in our lives. They offer a unique understanding and comfort that can't be found in other relationships.

As we interact with others, we naturally form different types of relationships. These people can be referred to by a single term: friends.

However, in the context of a genuine relationship, intimacy can manifest in different ways for a number of reasons.

It is not always the case that two people who call themselves friends are truly comfortable with each other.

As people's understanding of social interactions continues to evolve, they also come to have different understandings and distinctions between "friends." It is not necessarily the case that having more friends is better; we can consider ourselves fortunate to have one or two close friends in our lives.

Sometimes when you're feeling down and want to talk to someone, you look through your phone's contacts list of "close friends" and wonder whose number you can dial to talk about it all. In most cases, after some internal deliberation, we don't end up dialing that number.

Perhaps you might find comfort in the thought that you are afraid of disturbing others.

A true friend will never have such concerns because at that time, you just want to tell her, without any distractions, and you completely believe that no matter what the situation is, she will answer the phone immediately when she knows it's her. Because you know that no matter what the situation is, she will never complain, and she will always be there with a warm and listening heart.

That is a true friend. Of course, you can also call your colleagues at work "friends." You can chat with some of them, and if you don't have anything to say, that's perfectly fine. There's no need to force yourself to have something to say to other people.

This kind of thinking can sometimes feel like a burden.

It might be worth considering that living in someone else's world and letting other people control your emotions could be something you might want to avoid.

In this world, each of us is an independent individual. Regardless of one's official rank or financial status, we are all equal as human beings. Whether or not you choose to rank people according to their official rank or wealth is a personal decision.

If you allow this kind of thinking to take root in your heart, you may find yourself troubled and submissive, and you may appear extremely unconfident when dealing with people you feel are superior to you in appearance. Even a word, a glance, or a movement from someone else may make you think a lot of things in an instant.

It might be helpful to remember that the only person who really thinks about it that much is you, and other people simply don't think about it at all. With that in mind, it could be beneficial to try to be yourself, adopt the right attitude, and speak from an equal perspective, regardless of who you're communicating with.

One might suggest that a person who lives in someone else's world and always has to consider other people's feelings may find themselves living a very humble and lonely life.

If I might offer one last thought,

You are you, a unique individual. While it is possible to find two identical leaves in the world, it is unlikely that you will find two identical people with the same character, temperaments, dispositions, etc. You have your own ideas, opinions, and the courage to live for yourself. It is best to be yourself, not to worry too much about what others think, and to live a very real and carefree life.

It would be wonderful if we could all embrace our individuality and live a life of authenticity and freedom.

Hello, question asker! My name is Evan.

The questioner stated that they initially had no difficulty communicating with others, but after a period of time, they found themselves unable to respond, unable to make eye contact, and even contemplating escape. Is this true? Some people have difficulty communicating with others, and this communication disorder is related to anxiety and worry.

The author's description also faces this situation, which indicates that the author is likely suffering from social phobia, also known as social anxiety disorder.

The questioner needs to understand why they are unable to continue conversations fluently when communicating with others. They also need to understand why their mode of social interaction is like this.

The way we interact with others is often based on how we interacted with our family of origin. If the questioner encountered obstacles in communicating with their parents when they were young,

When the questioner initially communicates with their parents, their parents can still accept them very well. However, if this persists for too long, their parents become impatient or force the questioner to stop. This pattern also deeply affects the questioner, and it can easily cause obstacles in self-expression and communication with strangers. This is all the influence of the original family on the questioner.

You can learn to communicate with others. If you train in communication and improve your communication skills, you will be less embarrassed.

Give the questioner a pat on the shoulder to give them a little strength. Dealing with social situations is simple. Here are some suggestions for the questioner:

Face your negative emotions head-on.

It is important to confront social anxiety head-on. When you do so, you will experience negative emotions. However, you must learn to face these emotions directly. It is also important to understand that negative thoughts are normal when suffering from social anxiety.

When preparing to interact with strangers, it's common to have doubts about one's ability to respond effectively to others or to communicate for extended periods. The first step to overcoming these concerns is to recognize them when they arise. By understanding the root cause of social anxiety, it can be overcome.

When these thoughts arise, stop them in their tracks and tell yourself, "I can pick up the conversation. I'll focus on communication and talk about things I know." "I'm not good at communicating with other people, but I'm good at other things."

"

Identify your fears.

If you can face your emotions, you can analyze what you are afraid of. Rewrite those negative emotions in a positive and realistic way.

Ask yourself about negative thoughts. For example, ask yourself, "I know there's a problem with my communication style."

Then ask yourself, "After a preliminary acquaintance, a deeper understanding can absolutely be reached."

The logical answer is clear: if the questioner's communication style can be changed, they will be able to communicate well with others. Even if there is really something wrong, you are, after all, human, just like the people looking at you.

Even the most sociable people have problems communicating. Be kind to yourself and give yourself a little more tolerance.

Don't overthink it.

The questioner feels confused in social situations because they imagine the worst when faced with communication. These imagined scenarios put the questioner in a bad mood. Stop these unrealistic misjudgments. They are of no help at all.

We cannot predict what will happen. Even if we try, we will only imagine the worst, which is inconsistent with reality and causes unnecessary anxiety.

You have the power to change these exaggerated thoughts. For example, if you are going to a wedding, you need to be aware of the fact that you are not the center of attention.

Imagine yourself at a wedding, confidently striking up a conversation with others and enjoying yourself. If negative thoughts still enter your mind, simply don't think about them.

You are not the center of attention.

Many people are afraid of socializing because they are afraid of what others will say about them. Let me be clear: you are not the focus of the entire social occasion.

Focus on the host and the important people at the event. If they do pay attention to you, it's not as negative as you think.

Forget about trying to read other people's minds. We'll never know what they're thinking. And let's face it, other people don't think as negatively as you do.

Use social situations to change negative views of yourself and stop and change the judgments you imagine others are making.

Everyone gets nervous. It's normal.

Studies have shown that more than half of people feel nervous and scared when communicating with others. You are not alone in feeling this way. It is a normal reaction. Moreover, data shows that the number of people who feel nervous and scared when socializing is increasing year by year.

Knowing this and understanding that everyone around you is just like you will show you that you are not the only one who is worried or afraid. Furthermore, everyone gets nervous sometimes, and understanding this will also let the questioner know that even if people find you nervous, they will not criticize you or point fingers at you.

Practice social skills.

You can improve your social skills with the right approach. Overcoming social anxiety requires perseverance and practice. Don't expect an overnight transformation.

The questioner must learn new behaviors, new ways of thinking, new social skills, and a new language of communication. This takes effort, but the questioner will master new skills and begin to control the pace of their conversation.

The 2010 Oscar-winning film The King's Speech tells the inspiring story of how King George VI of the United Kingdom overcame his stutter with the help of a speech therapist and delivered the famous "King's Speech" during World War II. A stutter sufferer of any status can complete a speech through training, and I am certain that a questioner can also improve their social skills through training.

If you really don't know how to communicate, this is a simple technique you can use. Instead of asking why someone is good at what they do, let them talk about themselves. Listen actively and give positive feedback. This will help you communicate more fluently.

Practice deep breathing.

Breathe deeply while socializing or before socializing to control your nervousness. This will also reduce the physical reactions caused by nervousness, as most reactions stem from rapid breathing.

Practice breathing exercises every day. They will become second nature, and you will do them in stressful situations without even thinking about it.

Breathe from your abdomen, not your chest. Lie flat on the ground or sit upright in a chair.

Place one hand on your chest and the other on your abdomen. As you inhale, the hand on your abdomen will rise and fall, while the hand on your chest will remain stationary.

Inhale slowly and deeply through the nose for seven seconds. Exhale slowly through the mouth for eight seconds.

Gently contract your abdominal muscles to get air into your lungs. Complete five deep breaths, with ten seconds between each.

If the above methods are not working for you, you must seek out a professional psychologist or counselor for psychological intervention. These interventions are confidential, so you should be honest. Explain clearly how these negative emotions make you feel, how they usually start, and how you respond. Ins

If the above methods aren't working for you, you need to find a professional psychologist or counselor for psychological intervention. You can describe your negative emotions to these professionals, and you should be honest about them.

Clearly explain how these negative emotions make you feel, how they usually start, and how you respond. Insist on ongoing communication with these professionals until these negative emotions no longer affect you.

You should also talk to them about your own family of origin and be open about the influence you have received in your family of origin, which has led to certain fixed patterns in your interactions with others.

I am confident that my answer will be helpful.

Hello, I'm Strawberry!

Given the limited space, the text can be read in two different ways. One is that in the same situation, chatting about it will lead to a situation where the conversation cannot continue. The other is that in the process of getting along with each other, when the relationship becomes deeper, this kind of uncomfortable situation will arise.

It's always a good idea to take a step back and look at things from a realistic point of view.

If it's the first situation, it's probably because of the relationship. We might not understand the other person as well as we'd like to. Even if we have a topic to chat happily with the other person at the beginning, we can't always keep the conversation going. The longer we talk, the more likely it is that the topic will run out. In the end, we can always use a mobile phone or go out to hide the embarrassment of not being able to continue the conversation.

If it's the second situation, it's totally normal to feel this way! As you get to know someone, you might realize there aren't many topics to chat about, you feel a bit uncomfortable, and you care about their every move. This is totally normal, and it's a sign of a lack of self-confidence, which is something we all experience from time to time. As you become more familiar with someone, you might find yourself caring more about what others think of you and how they'll analyze you from your actions, words, and behavior when you chat with them.

Avoidance is just another way of saying "fear of facing."

It's totally normal to want to avoid things that make us feel afraid. It's only natural to care about things that we're worried about, like losing something or having a situation we're worried about happen. But here's the thing: avoiding things won't stop them from happening or appearing. It's only a temporary fix. And if we avoid things for too long, we might find ourselves unable to face them calmly when they do appear.

You know best what you're avoiding. Take your time to think it through. You might be afraid to face it because you think you can't solve it, or you might be afraid to face it because you don't want to solve it.

We can try to relieve it together!

I know it can be tough, but I'm here to help! There are a few things we can try to help relieve this situation.

☀️Keep learning: Communication is something we all need to keep learning about in our lives. We all have to communicate with others in different situations. When we keep learning, we can confidently deal with various situations and people. Even if we don't understand each other, we can also actively guide the other person into our topic based on the actual situation.

☀️Love yourself: When you come into contact with other people, don't dwell on whether you did anything wrong in the process. We all make mistakes! What's done is done, and what hasn't happened doesn't need to be worried about. Love yourself, so that you can get along with other people more easily, without constantly worrying about whether you did anything wrong, or whether other people's words or actions are a reflection on you.

☀️Boost your self-confidence: We all have moments when we lack confidence, and it can make us feel unsure of ourselves and even afraid to speak up in front of others. But there's a simple way to overcome this: continuous learning and more practice! Find people you're comfortable with to practice with, and then ask them for feedback on your communication. Listen to their suggestions, and you'll be amazed at how much you can improve. We all have to face challenges to grow, and even if you make small progress every day, it's a great way to boost your confidence.

I really hope my answer helps! Warm regards,