How can I feel happy when I'm alone and get along better with myself?

Hello, host.

I'm letmefly, and I'm here to help you and get your feedback.

The host said that when they're alone, they just watch videos and play games, and it doesn't make them happy. After an afternoon of this, they even feel tired and lonely. I can feel the anxiety and self-blame they're feeling. I'll give them a big hug first.

From what I can tell, the original poster's issue isn't really about being alone. If they say that when there are more urgent tasks at hand, they don't really want to do them, it's not about being alone. To be honest, being alone can be either active or passive. It can mean that you either want to be alone or that you're isolated and shut away. It's a state of mind when you have nothing on your mind.

It's clear the host hasn't finished the task. They've been playing games and watching videos instead. This shows they're avoiding or procrastinating. So why do they feel self-blame and loneliness? It's because they haven't done what they should have done.

It would be a good idea for the host to learn how to manage their time, plan projects, and gain other skills. They could also join an online procrastination support group.

I hope this is helpful, and I look forward to hearing your thoughts, feedback, and seeing your likes.

Hello, questioner.

You procrastinate.

Even if something is more urgent, I still procrastinate. This task needs to be done.

You know it's urgent, but you can't concentrate. You think you have time, or that it's urgent from your perspective.

But you don't think it's urgent.

Sometimes I procrastinate. I think I can do a task in the time allotted, so I put it off. I watch videos and read novels instead.

If I see a funny video or an exciting passage in a novel, I may get absorbed in it for a few minutes, but when I come back to my senses, I feel anxious and tired.

If you procrastinate, you get something else out of it. For example, I didn't start the task right away, but I did finish it.

My results are normal and acceptable. I don't feel lost or failed from procrastinating, so it creates a vicious cycle.

Good things come to those who wait. You have more time to reflect, improve, and sum up when you complete tasks ahead of schedule.

Hope this helps.

Hello, landlord. I hope my answer helps.

To feel happy when alone, do things that make you feel good, not games or videos.

Neurological research shows that "craving" and "wanting" activate different brain centers.

Wanting activates our pleasure centers, which causes our dopamine to rise, giving us a short-lived rush. Once that rush is gone, we pursue more desires, which stimulate more dopamine. What you call playing games and checking your phone is a short-lived pleasure.

We feel happy, but then we feel tired.

Longing activates the satisfaction center, which is stimulated by opioid neurotransmitters. Once our longing is fulfilled, we experience satisfaction or happiness.

Wanting can give us a pleasant feeling, but it cannot give us satisfaction. There are also expensive handbags, delicious desserts, and gifts on Valentine's Day, which can only bring us short-lived happiness.

Longing brings us satisfaction and strength. It can be the sense of accomplishment after finishing an article, the sense of pleasure after doing a set of exercises, or the sense of value from helping others.

It is important to understand the difference between "craving" and "wanting" to help us find a better way to satisfy our desires. In the long term, "wanting" cannot bring us satisfaction.

Do things that satisfy your longings when you are alone. Make you feel accomplished, satisfied, and worthy.

For example, you can:

1. Exercise.

Sports relax your body and mind while improving your fitness. You can feel strong and happy in sports. They help you feel good and accomplish things.

2. Make housework your friend.

Rinse bowls, hang laundry, put things on tables, polish floors, polish windows. After, you'll feel accomplished and worthy.

Your home becomes cleaner and tidier, and people feel joy and beauty when they enter.

3. Do your hobbies.

Doing a few things you like every day is good for you.

My hobby is writing. When I'm alone, I write articles to share. It makes me happy.

You can find a hobby too!

There are two types of comfort. One is the comfort you get from watching videos and playing games. The other is the joy of self-awareness, the inner pleasure you feel when you achieve your goals through your own efforts and become the person you want to be.

I think the latter is the happiness you want when you're alone.

Find things that make you feel good. When you do these things alone, you will feel happy.

Best wishes!

Hello! I'm a smiling pumpkin!

The OP is on the hunt for some fun ideas on how to spend their time when they're alone and don't know what to do!

Give the OP a hug!

There are two fantastic ways to be alone!

An active one!

The active one is the one who wants to relax by themselves. The one who doesn't want to deal with other people may just want to be alone and quiet all day—and that's okay!

Or, even better, read a novel or two that you like, or watch a movie to relax!

A kind of passivity that is actually pretty great!

A bit like the OP!

Every day is hectic, and then—bam!—you get some free time!

Playing games and watching TikTok videos is a great way to relax, but it can also make the questioner feel overwhelmed. She might feel like she still has work to do, but she doesn't want to work when she finally has some free time. So she feels a bit anxious, and at the end of the day she feels especially tired.

What should I do at this time?

Now for the fun part! First, let's get all that work and other things done.

The remaining time is yours to enjoy! Go play some games, watch a movie, read a book, or do whatever you like. Cultivate an interest, take a class, learn something new—the possibilities are endless!

The questioner will never feel burdened, whether it's playing Douyin or watching TV! I still have one thing left to do!

At the end of the day, I'm not going to feel tired because I've done something fun and relaxing!