How can I find a partner when I am eager to date but keep being rejected?

I'm not sure how old you are, but I imagine you're still quite young. Have you considered taking the initiative to chat up or confess to the girls around you? As long as you take the initiative to try, you may be able to gain valuable experience from those rejected experiences.

It might be helpful to consider why you have been rejected by others. It's possible that they have certain expectations about what they want in a partner, whether that's financial status, appearance, or other qualities. It's important to remember that there's no need to change yourself on purpose just to please others.

It might be helpful to consider making adjustments to some small details to start making improvements. You have the opportunity to get to know yourself better. It seems like you're interested in moving on from the single life, and there are many people of the opposite sex around you.

There are many opportunities in this situation, and your character, temperament, and outlook on life are quite good. It would be beneficial to show yourself well. Typically, if other people don't know you well, they may naturally wonder and feel unsure about whether to trust you.

While being yourself is undoubtedly a great choice, it might also be beneficial to consider ways to make an impact by showcasing some of your strengths. This could involve identifying an area where you excel and making an effort to bring that to the forefront, ensuring others are aware of your capabilities.

You are already very honest, so it would be wise to hold fast to your principles and your true self. You should allow yourself to shine, and at the same time, be brave and express your feelings for the person you like. It would also be beneficial to consider ways to enhance your financial strength and future plans. Best of luck!

Could I ask you a question, ZQ?

Host: From what you've shared, it seems you're seeking love, which is a natural desire at your age. It's something we all crave.

It is understandable that you are perplexed by the fact that despite the numerous girls in your life, you have not yet found a girlfriend. It is natural to feel confused and distressed in such a situation.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that there might be nothing wrong with you.

From your description, it seems that you may have been advised to confess your love to the girl you like, but you were rejected. It is understandable that you are feeling hurt and sad, but it is also natural to be curious about why the girl rejected you.

He did not provide me with an answer, which made me think about it for a long time.

Perhaps it would be helpful to invite reflection and acceptance.

Could it be that there is really nothing wrong with love, and that love will come to you when the time is right?

First of all, I would like to reassure you that being rejected does not mean that there is something wrong with you. It may be that a certain quality of yours did not attract the other person, that it was not their cup of tea, and that it has nothing to do with the quality of you, but with the type of person they like.

Secondly, I encourage you to express your love. From your writing, I can see that you are more introverted and a bit socially anxious. It may be that your introversion leads you to express yourself in a more euphemistic way, which can make it difficult for the other person to understand you. It's understandable if you feel embarrassed to express yourself boldly.

I believe it's important to recognize that we all behave differently in different situations. When we're around people we know, we often speak more softly and carefully, which is perfectly natural. However, this can sometimes make it more challenging to express our feelings or needs when we're looking to form a romantic connection. It's understandable that this can feel disadvantageous at times, especially when we're seeking a romantic partner or in situations where we truly need someone's support. However, I believe that this way of acting has served us well in the past, helping us gain recognition and perhaps even protect us.

It might be said that he doesn't really fit in on this occasion, but he's here anyway. Perhaps it would be helpful to accept this part of yourself.

I hope these thoughts might be helpful to you, though I can't say for certain.

Hello, question asker! I really think you are a great guy! You have a good understanding of yourself and know your strengths and weaknesses. You're honest about your lack of a sporting or playful nature and the fact that you don't have the same sense of humor as young people.

It's true that many young girls prefer athletic, outgoing, and funny guys. And since many girls like to play games these days, they tend to get close to guys who play games, too. So it seems like there is no market for big, warm-hearted guys like you. But that's not true! There are still many girls who like your type. They just haven't discovered your good qualities yet, because they are not as obvious as athleticism and gaming.

And there's another important point that almost all girls will love: confidence. This confidence isn't fake; it comes from the core of your being. It's not forceful; even gentle people can be super confident. This confidence comes from knowing who you are, what you need, and what you like.

This kind of confidence will form an aura that surrounds you and is felt by others in an intangible way. It's an amazing feeling!

It's clear you're confident! You know your strengths and weaknesses, and you're confident in yourself. However, there's still room for growth. In your elaboration, you said you don't have any special requirements for your other half, as long as you get along well, treat you well, and value you.

Here's the point: it seems that you don't really know what you like, or that you have a preference that you're not willing to admit, or that you're not aware of. This is a bit "scary" for a girl. Why?

Every girl who is willing to be with a boy hopes to be the one who is special and the one that the boy is looking for in the crowd. However, your selection criteria are so broad that the girl feels like she was chosen at random. It gives the impression that you don't know what you like at the moment, and you just happened to get along with the person and got together. But, you know what? Your subconscious will awaken and realize what you really like in the future. And it might even be different from your current girlfriend!

I'm excited to tell you that many girls will have concerns and feelings of unease when they meet a boy like this. Many boys may not realize why girls like those boys with a strong sense of purpose, because of their confidence, because they know what they want, and they happen to be able to match the boy's needs, and the boy can also match the girl's needs. This clear awareness of each other's goals will enhance the sense of security for each other.

Most importantly, your criteria say that as long as she is good to you and values you, in this detail, do you realize why you want to particularly emphasize that the woman values you? Is it because you care particularly about other people's opinions? Absolutely! You want to make sure she values you because you care about other people's opinions.

Do you love the idea of being approved of by others? Just imagine for a moment that the girl you're with doesn't particularly approve of you. What would you do if she had her own personality and ideas?

Have you ever felt like your self-esteem has been hurt?

Do you realize why you want to emphasize that she should treat you well? This is equivalent to saying that you want to find someone who loves you! Do you realize why you don't emphasize that you want to find someone you love?

So, here's my advice for getting off the single list:

It's time to figure out what kind of girl you really like! It's like when someone asks you what you want to eat, and a lot of people give the same answer: "Whatever." You need to have a clear idea of your preferences.

If you're not sure, don't rush to get a girlfriend! There are plenty of other ways to meet girls. First, get to know your female classmates as fellow students, friends, or through club or class activities. Observe from these activities what kind of girl you really like.

Even if you don't find a girlfriend for the time being, you should gain new insights from the whole experience and further improve your self-understanding. For example, are you someone who cares a lot about what other people think? Are you particularly sensitive and uncomfortable when others ignore you or make negative comments about you?

This brings us to another fascinating topic: how do you view the opinions of others and your own opinions? How do you strengthen your sense of self-worth and your confidence in life?

Falling in love is a wonderful way to cultivate yourself! It'll refine your personal charm even more.

Don't rush to get a girlfriend. First, learn to love yourself while loving others, and learn to give while accepting kindness. From your self-assessment, I can see that you are a warm guy. Do you practice your warmth and kindness in your daily interactions with your classmates? Absolutely!

It doesn't matter if the other person is a man or a woman, or if you're looking to make a boyfriend or girlfriend. The important thing is that you're releasing your warmth and kindness naturally, without any ulterior motives. And when you do that, people will feel it!

If you can do this, you'll be amazed at how many girls will feel it! You'll naturally attract girls who appreciate and recognize you. Don't worry, take your time, your goodness will be discovered sooner or later!

I wish you an early release and an early discovery of your new self! Go for it! You've got this!

Based on the information provided in your description, I have formulated a preliminary understanding of the issue at hand.

The initial challenge is the lack of a rapid and effective method to initiate a cordial connection with the opposite sex. This process is commonly referred to as "breaking the ice."

You exhibit social anxiety in the presence of unfamiliar individuals and self-identify as an introvert. Consequently, you adopt a reserved and cautious approach when encountering members of the opposite sex.

In other words, one might characterize your typical behavior as passive, in that you do not proactively initiate contact with others. Instead, you tend to wait for an opportunity for interaction to arise.

The second aspect is that you lack sufficient resources. For example, if there is a friend of the same sex who is highly adept at navigating social interactions with the opposite sex, then that would be a significant advantage for you.

In a situation where there are significantly more resources available to girls than to boys, this is an advantageous position for you.

The initial step is to learn how to cultivate attraction. This can be achieved through considerations of appearance.

I then pose the following question: What if a female individual initiates contact with you, but after a period of communication, you discover that you are incompatible?

One method of fostering attraction is to utilize body language and facial expressions, including eye contact, to convey a friendly demeanor to the other individual. In response to a positive body language display from the other person, what is the appropriate course of action?

Hello! I'm sending you a warm hug from afar.

You have a special desire for an intimate relationship with a lover who loves you and loves yourself.

I am not lacking in any way, yet I am always rejected. There is a saying in psychology: how others treat you is based on how you treat yourself.

This applies to any and all relationships.

This sentence is a reminder to turn your attention back to yourself. Stop obsessing and being trapped in the pain of being rejected. Be aware of the changes you can make in the face of rejection. What did you do or not do that made them reject you?

Do they all reject you for the same reason? When faced with rejection, you must be brave and express your true feelings.

You have to accept yourself.

The law of attraction is clear: partners are not found, they are attracted. You must have a clear understanding of yourself, understand and position yourself, and be able to fully accept yourself from the inside out.

You will know what kind of partner you are suitable for, what kind of intimate relationship you desire, and the deeper your understanding of yourself, the easier it will be for you to find the right person for you.

Use a partner portrait to specify the kind of partner you want. Include details such as education, appearance, height, weight, skin color, income, clothing style, hobbies, family of origin, and eating habits. The more specific you can be, the better your chances of meeting someone.

Next, think about the kinds of situations where such girls are likely to be found, and the kind of person such a girl would want her Mr. Right to be. Then, tell yourself that you already have such a girl, and enter these situations with courage and confidence to create opportunities to meet girls.

You must accept yourself, believe in yourself, and grow yourself to have a clear image of the partner you want in your heart. The confidence you radiate from the inside out will attract people who are in the same frequency as you.

I am Lily, the little listener at the Q&A Pavilion. The world and I love you.

I can tell from your words that you have some doubts about yourself and are feeling a bit lost about your feelings. I'm here to help! I'll share my views and answers, and I hope they'll be helpful and encouraging.

You mentioned that you are very emotional and loyal, and that you want to find the right girl and treat her well. That's so great! But what does the right one look like? If you have a very narrow definition of the right one, it might make some girls feel intimidated.

Have you ever thought about whether there are any behaviors of yours that might make a girl feel uncomfortable and cause her to back off?

It's totally normal to have different requirements for a partner. I had doubts like yours too, but I realised I was being too demanding and unwilling to compromise. Have you ever thought about whether you really want a girlfriend? If you have a fear of intimacy, you might find yourself feeling frustrated in these areas. It's not that you don't want it, but your subconscious mind might not be ready for it yet.

I just wanted to quickly share some information about the different levels of the mind. The psychologist Sigmund Freud came up with the idea of the subconscious, preconscious, and conscious. The conscious is what we think about in our brains. The preconscious can be understood through analysis. The subconscious is the part of the mind that we can't touch with our minds. It's a bit like the iceberg theory.

Take a moment to think about your own family of origin. It's possible that the relationship between your parents may have indirectly influenced your doubts about romantic relationships.

Let me tell you a little story to help you better understand this and its impact on you. In China, Xiao A always wanted to have a boyfriend. Unfortunately, because she was very fat, the boys disliked her figure, which caused her to always be unloved by boys. But then, one day, Xiao He went on a foreign trip and suddenly her figure became slim and slender! Unfortunately, the culture there is that the fatter the person, the more sought after by boys.

Xiaoa learned from her counselor that she was actually afraid of intimacy. In her family, her father once abandoned her and her mother and ran away with someone else. At that time, she developed a fear of intimacy and a sense of abandonment.

And he also gradually worked through this distress with the help of the counselor.

You might also want to think about whether this is the reason. If not, you could try to be patient or lower your expectations. It's great to be emotionally exclusive, but only if you're willing to make an effort and cherish it. People are all empathetic.

(Off-topic: I have to say, I'm surprised at how much you've been provoked, even though the reward is for two bachelors.)

I really do wish you all the very best!

I love you, and so does the world!

Good morning.

It would be wonderful to meet the right person at the right time, but it's important to recognize that simply wishing for it isn't enough. Learning to reason things out is also crucial. If you want to meet the right person, you have to work hard to achieve it. In fact, many things in the world don't necessarily result from our demands, but from the fate that we have inadvertently encountered.

It could be said that love is born from a good impression, and mutual affection is a key factor in attracting each other.

I was in the arts stream in high school and majored in the arts at the arts campus in university. I was fortunate to have many female classmates, yet I find it challenging to connect with a romantic partner.

There are many girls on campus, and the male-female ratio in our college is 3:7, but I've been struggling to find a boyfriend for some time now.

He pays attention to his appearance and dress sense, and although he is not very handsome, he is not bad-looking. He doesn't have high expectations of others and is not overly concerned with appearances. As long as he gets along well with me and treats me well, that's fine.

I believe there is nothing wrong with his personality or temperament. Although he may seem introverted around people he doesn't know well, he is quite lively when he gets to know someone better. I also don't think he has any bad habits.

The questioner is male, and is used to thinking in a linear way when considering problems. Therefore, when thinking about emotional issues, they also tend to analyse and position themselves according to linear thinking. This kind of analysis seems somewhat vague and unfocused. For example, the observed analysis of the male-female ratio, image analysis, and personality analysis, this information does not focus on attracting girls. However, it is undeniable that a girl's favourable impression of a boy is generated from the boy's impression score, which is not lowered. However, in order to rise to a favourable impression, there still needs to be a more certain active expression and positive expression from the boy who has an emotional need.

Could I perhaps inquire as to why it is thought that the expression of emotions should be proactive?

I wonder if we might consider the possibility that the boundary between men and women is an invisible glass wall. If so, it seems that men and women usually do not go beyond this boundary in their interactions. They rely on reciprocity and judge each other based on a preliminary good impression. As a result, it seems that the probability of men and women actually developing feelings over time may be relatively low. This is because everyone relies on their own subjective understanding of the other person, let alone further developing a relationship with the other person as boyfriend and girlfriend.

However, it could be said that girls are expected to be more reserved and boys are encouraged to be more proactive in matters of etiquette. This may result in the boy expressing his emotions more actively, which could attract the girl's attention. She may form a strong impression of a particular boy in her mind, and if this impression is satisfactory to the girl, they may develop into a unique couple.

If you want to like a girl, it would be best to be sincere.

It is important to understand that wanting to like someone is not the same as expressing sincere emotions towards a girl. The person you want to like can also be someone else, which can make it difficult for the object of your confession to feel the uniqueness of your feelings and the sincerity of your liking. This can lead to doubt in their heart, as they may question whether they are the most special being in your eyes and wonder why you have chosen them.

It seems that the questioner is currently focused on the desire to fall in love, which may be a personal aspiration for a fulfilling life experience. Pursuing a rich experience of love in high school is similar to many individuals attending university with the intention of establishing a romantic relationship. The underlying belief may be centered on self-satisfaction rather than actively seeking a relationship with someone who is truly special and worthy of devotion. If the thinking pattern is consistently self-centered, it raises the question of how far the energy of self-centeredness in relationships can extend.

It might be helpful to consider that if you want love, learning to love yourself first could be a good place to start.

It would be beneficial to improve oneself first in order to create the best possible foundation for a good match.

It is often thought that love is a three-fold condition, comprising exclusivity, loyalty and trust. Many people imagine the ideal spouse before meeting their partner, but when they meet by chance, their relationship is often full of worries and doubts. They may feel that love is too complicated, that the other person's faults outweigh their own. When they face the problem head-on and discover the truth, they may regret it at first and feel ashamed. This is because they have been looking outward, rarely inward. The kind of spiritual energy that attracts this kind of person is often similar to the spiritual energy of their partner. Those with stable, higher spiritual energy can also attract people with the same kind of rich, interesting spiritual energy. They may seem to be the luckiest people, with an upper class temperament and a light on their faces.

It might be said that love does not come from demanding, but rather from learning to take care of yourself first. It is also possible that the right person will appear at the right time.

I wish you the best!

Hello,

Host:

I have read the post carefully and I can feel the poster's confusion and anxiety from the content. At the same time, I also observe that the poster has bravely expressed his or her distress and actively sought help on the platform, which will undoubtedly help the poster to better understand themselves and adjust accordingly.

I will now share my observations and thoughts from the post, which will undoubtedly help the poster gain a richer perspective on herself.

1. You seem to be in a hurry to get married. Why is that?

The poster wants to get married, so why is she in such a hurry?

Is it because all of your friends and classmates have found a partner? Do you feel out of place because you haven't? Do you think you have a problem?

Or are you using a relationship to satisfy your inner emptiness or needs?

The original poster stated that she wants to find someone who values her and treats her well. These are her own internal needs.

Ask yourself: do you value yourself? Are you accepting of yourself?

If you can't find it within, you seek it outside. These are things the original poster needs to explore for themselves.

It's crucial to understand whether your motives are external or internal. Let's say everyone around you has a girlfriend, but you don't. You're anxious to find someone so you don't become a "problem" person. This is an external motive.

But deep down, you know you don't want to find it.

If you want to satisfy your needs that you cannot find within yourself through your girlfriend, you will also be trapped in a situation. Demand things from others and the woman will feel like she is always being taken advantage of.

It's important to understand that when a girl looks for a boyfriend, she wants someone who will take care of her, not the other way around. Attempting to take care of her will only make you seem immature and unreliable.

You can grow yourself and satisfy your own needs. Such a person has more charisma.

2. Grow yourself.

The nature of a relationship is an exchange of equal value. This is also true in a romantic relationship. You have to convince girls that liking you is a worthwhile thing, that it is a good deal, and that being with you is a good thing for them.

Improve yourself and bring out your strengths. Let these strengths be seen by girls.

You don't have to show it off, but you have to let them know. The original poster might also do well to find a girl whose values are very similar to yours, so that you will have common topics to talk about.

There must also be a little bit of difference, or complementarity, to increase mutual attraction.

3. Always be prepared.

From the post, it's clear that the poster is socially anxious around strangers. They're sensitive, and that's a good thing. Being sensitive has its advantages.

However, there will be a slight obstacle when making friends. A first impression will make someone decide whether or not to get along with that person.

Our performance in social interactions, language expressions, and even our eyes will make the other person decide whether or not to get along with us. For example, when two people look into each other's eyes, a socially anxious person may subconsciously avert their gaze.

This action will make people think this person is difficult to get along with. They will think he doesn't like or welcome me.

Is he shy?

All of this will make a person decide whether to continue. The host must pay attention to these details in their daily lives and be prepared at all times.

I hope these tips are useful for the host. If they want to learn more, I suggest reading How to Make the One You Love Fall in Love With You. My name is Zeng Chen, and I'm a psychological coach at 1st Mind.

Hello, classmate. You have lots of friends, but you don't have a girlfriend. You're anxious about this and don't understand why.

Many guys and girls can't find a partner after starting work.

This is a common thing right now, so don't worry. It would be great if you found love at university.

I'll analyze it from three aspects to help you.

Know your feelings.

Why are you in such a hurry to find a partner? Maybe you're the only one without one, and you think you need to find a girlfriend?

2. Maybe you've been studying with lots of girls for a while and think it's weird if a guy doesn't have a girlfriend?

3. Maybe you think you're fine, and not having a girlfriend means you're not attractive.

Ask yourself why you want a girlfriend.

It can relieve your anxiety and confusion.

What do you want?

1. You seem passive, waiting for a girl to make the first move. Do you have a clear goal?

2. Girls are too passive in love. Maybe you need to clarify your goals and take the initiative.

Many people in society cannot find a partner or get along with their partner. This is usually because they did not think clearly about what they wanted at the beginning.

4. Know what you want from a girlfriend.

Let things happen.

1. Accept your current situation. It's normal not to have a girlfriend. You need to accept yourself.

Love may not be what you expect. It may be an indescribable feeling that makes you smile when you see her and miss her when you can't.

3. Know what you want and let the rest happen. Love when it comes, and enjoy life.

Maybe fate will come when it's meant to. Believe that beautiful love is waiting for you. The world and I love you!

A blooming flower attracts butterflies.

A good relationship is attracted to you. It's as simple as that. The high-frequency energy that radiates from within you attracts girls with the same frequency as yours.

You've talked a lot about your strengths, but frankly, they're all very common. There's nothing that can attract the opposite sex.

Girls who are on the same frequency as you are also socially awkward and have no sense of humor. You say that neither of you is proactive, so how can you be together?

Open up, improve your inner self. You don't have to be able to sing and dance, but you have to be able to talk, be helpful, and have a broad mind. Let yourself bloom like a flower, and the butterflies will come.

Be bold, be careful, and be thick-skinned.

Three great tricks for wooing a girl: be bold, be careful, and be thick-skinned. If you like someone, go for it. If you keep it all inside, you'll never know what could happen. Don't expect the girl to chase you.

Love needs to be spoken out loud.

Break the fear of being rejected. It's normal to be rejected when pursuing a girl. Don't feel ashamed. It's really nothing. The fact that she rejected you doesn't mean you're not outstanding. It just means you're not suitable for her, or that she doesn't have good judgment. That's the right way to think about it.

In short, you need to be open and let others know what you're thinking.

Overcome social phobia.

The root cause of social phobia is a lack of self-confidence. Some people are born confident, while others develop it over time. You can do the same.

Reading is the best way to do this. It can enhance your inner self, and when your inner self is enriched, your outer self will naturally be enriched as well.

You need to exercise more, speed up your metabolism, and accelerate the process of changing yourself.

You will succeed!