How can I get an 11-year-old girl who is very stubborn and does what she wants to listen to me?

I'm not sure if the questioner mentioned how the child was being educated, but I'm sure they've explained to the child why their parents have certain requests. For example, the reason for asking her to come home on time is to keep her safe, and the reason for asking her to study is so that she can lead a better life in the future. Mom and Dad have spent so much time and effort, all in the hope that she can be happy.

It's a real shame that our little ones don't always feel the love we're trying to show them. What on earth could be stopping parents and children from sharing all that love?

I think it's probably just because we see things differently. Adults will see children through the lens of adulthood, while children will see adults through the lens of childhood.

When a child comes home late, parents may want to punish her by locking her out of the house, because they think this is the only way to make her remember to come home on time in the future. But what the child may see is that her parents don't want her anymore because she had a good time. Such misunderstandings are very scary, but in fact they are not uncommon.

If we can resolve these misunderstandings and tear down the wall between parents and children, we can ensure that love is completely, accurately, and smoothly transmitted between them.

This process can be tough, but you've got this! As a parent, you're in the perfect position to lead the way. Seeking professional help with a deep love for your child is a great idea. I'm confident you'll see amazing improvements!

Hello, question asker. When you ask how to get your child to listen, you're already going about it the wrong way.

I think you're looking for ways to help your child stick to her commitments so she can spend less time playing and more time learning on her own.

I'd like to share a few thoughts on your approach.

It seems like you always communicate with a lecturing tone about what the child has done. When you say that you and your mother take turns educating the child, it seems like you're there spouting flowery words at the child, saying some big and righteous truths that you feel are right.

But you've never offered your child a hug or a kind word.

Why are you still teaching your 11-year-old how to do her homework? Do you think she can't do it on her own? Is this how it's been since the beginning? It seems like you don't trust her.

You seem to think that letting her go out to play has given the child enough space, so why is she still acting up? To be frank, I let you go out to play, but you still don't listen to me.

But at the end of the day, you're just unwilling to let her do things her way, and it's just another way to control her.

And what's behind the child's behavior?

It's actually a lack of trust in their children that causes kids to break their word.

She'd rather go out to play than stay home, because she doesn't feel any warmth at home. She feels oppressed and lectured at.

It's a way of getting away from your control when they don't want to do their homework.

He just wants to play, watch TV, or use his phone to feel relaxed and relieved. When you let him do that, it makes him feel depressed and anxious.

Finally, I'll share my solution. It's about having an emotional connection with your child, loving them more, encouraging them more, and letting go more when it comes to learning.

I know you love your child, but you don't show it. You think your rules, education, and help are for her own good, but you never ask her what she wants from you. Maybe she just wants a loving look or word, or to cry on your shoulder when she's sad.

Think about what you most wanted from your parents when you were a child. Treat your child as you did when you were a child, and let her feel your love more often.

True love is the answer to all your problems.

Dear Landlord, Thank you for your question. From your description, I can see that you are a responsible and good parent. I understand that you are trying to do what is best for your child's healthy growth. However, I would like to correct your point of view. Not all children who listen to their parents are good children. Best regards, [Name]

It is important to recognize that parents should not be the sole arbiters of excellence. I hope you understand.

A one-year-old child is in the 56th grade of elementary school, right? From a developmental psychology perspective, he should be in the upper grades of elementary school, with a rudimentary sense of social self-awareness. According to Piaget's four stages of operation, he is already in the concrete operational stage and beginning to try to develop the formal operational stage.

Children at this stage are essentially independent of their parents. If parents persist in emphasizing and evaluating their children based on their own standards, regardless of whether these standards are positive or negative, it can lead to the perception that parents are controlling their children's behavior for their own benefit rather than for their betterment.

In the information, he negotiated punctuality and trustworthiness. It is using violent means to force her to do certain things. I still agree with you on this point. When he is not punctual and trustworthy, can you adjust the punishment accordingly? When he is punctual and trustworthy, provide an appropriate reward, and when he is not punctual and trustworthy, revoke the reward he has received.

For most individuals, the sense of loss that follows the receipt of a reward is already significant, and the subsequent sense of gain is likely to be

As children mature, the influence of parents on their lives gradually diminishes, while the recognition and encouragement of teachers and peers become increasingly significant. During this period, children are largely influenced by both their parents and their educational institutions. When discussing relevant topics with them, it is beneficial to introduce the role of schools and peers, and to inquire about their role models for outstanding students.

What are the positive attributes? How does his role model respond to similar challenges?

These questions allow us to gain insight into the child's genuine thoughts and motivations, rather than relying on empty promises made under pressure. This approach ensures that the child is equipped with the ability to fulfill their responsibilities to themselves.

The objective of child education is to successfully prepare the child for integration into society as a productive member. The objective of our education is to raise the child to be a well-behaved girl who respects her parents.

His lack of independence in problem-solving is a challenge for him and for our parents. I am pleased to have an appointment in 1983. Best regards, [signature]

Hello! I'm Zhang Xiyuan, a listener on the Yixinli platform.

He's been an educator for 21 years. I understand your concern about your child's education.

I hope this helps and inspires you.

[Puberty]

Adolescence starts at age 11 or 12 and ends at age 17 or 18. It varies by child.

Children nowadays develop physically and mentally earlier. Your 11-year-old girl should have already entered puberty.

Adolescents have six main psychological characteristics: 1. They know more about themselves. 2. They think more in new ways. 3. They feel more strongly. 4. They start to become more mature. 5. They want to rebel.

Parents should change how they educate and interact with their children. They should pay more attention to communication and give their children more respect, support, and understanding.

Leading by example is more convincing than lecturing. When one of my classmates got into university, her father worked with her in her room every night for a year, reading and studying.

Her father made her read, study, and do her homework.

If you tell her to do her homework but she doesn't want to, it's better to do it with her. For example, you could go to her room and read or do paperwork together. Kids can copy what you do from a young age.

Children copy their parents.

Love is the best teacher.

Many parents worry about their kids becoming rebellious, defiant, or running away during adolescence.

They become afraid to speak or intervene.

Adolescence is a time of rebellion, but children still need and want parental love. They just want it in a different way, as understanding, support, and respect.

You said you'd be home by 9 pm, but you locked the door when she didn't come back. She never listens and only comes home when she's had fun. When she can't open the door, she knocks and cries.

The child finds she cannot open the door and knocks on it. When she gets tired of knocking, she cries at the door. This makes her feel anger and fear.

If she's not home by the agreed time, her mom or dad will wait for her at the door. They'll ask why she's late and then talk about how to handle it.

This way, the child feels cared for and the rules are clear. It's better than shutting her out.

Children want unconditional love from their parents. This includes acceptance, respect, support, companionship, trust, appreciation, and affirmation. When parents give their children this love, the children become well-behaved, sensible, and obedient.

Love is the best teacher.