How can I protect my emotions when I always have to suppress them?

Hello.

It's evident that you're sad about suppressing this relationship. From your description, it's clear you believe it has no future. I don't know if it's because you've tried to express your feelings to a guy with a girlfriend before and were rejected, so you think your boss will also reject you and the relationship won't develop. Or, it's because you think the other person has a girlfriend and I can't intervene in their relationship, so you can't openly reveal your feelings to him.

Or are you unsure about the other person's feelings for you, so you're holding back?

Your partner telling you about his childhood, family, and ex-girlfriends is a very personal topic. Revealing yourself to the opposite sex in this way can sometimes bring you closer together. The closeness itself may prompt you to reveal more. This causes confusion. What is our relationship? Why are you telling me all this? This includes other potentially confusing actions in life.

The other person has not expressed any confirmation of the relationship. What kind of relationship is it?

Both? Or neither?

You must determine what kind of relationship you have.

You can decide what method to use to confirm what kind of relationship you are in. Or you can choose not to confirm what kind of relationship you are in, just as you are doing now.

Write down your worries and concerns, as well as the corresponding situations you may face, to help you analyze and choose.

I am confident that the above will be of help to you.

I am Guda, the world, and I love you.

Hello, question asker.

You like your boss but are also conflicted. You're trying to maintain a normal working relationship, but he's noticed your feelings and trusts you. This makes you restrain yourself even more.

You're depressed and unhappy because you don't want to make things difficult with your boss. I understand.

You have strong moral principles.

Your confusion involves two types of relationships: intimate and superior-subordinate. These are important and prone to problems. Intimacy is about loving, while superior-subordinate is about working. These are signs of mental health and are important. We will now analyze your situation.

1. Intimate relationships

It's normal to like your boss. It's understandable to fall in love at work. When you learned that your boss had a girlfriend and chose to stop liking your boss, it shows that you have moral principles. You can not only love, but also stop loving, which shows your attitude and control over your emotions. These are all thoughts and actions on the conscious level.

You still love your boss, so you can't let go. You're sad and disappointed. It's hard to leave a relationship, and separation is hard. There's a feeling that won't go away.

You also told me that you've tried to like guys with girlfriends before and it always ends in unrequited love. I learned that your difficulty in separating is not only reflected in your relationship with your boss, but also in your experience with other guys.

You may be attracted to men with girlfriends. You feel guilty, so you separate, but you're still involved.

You're tired because the two forces are fighting. It may seem like your boss is fighting you, but the energy is mutual. If you reject him, he will pick up on it.

If you're unclear, your boss will notice.

You're not good at saying no to people. You can be aware of this.

The superior-subordinate relationship.

This can be seen as an authoritative relationship. You say that because he is your boss, you are embarrassed to refuse to chat with him even though you no longer want to. Are you worried about damaging the relationship?

If you trusted him, you could express your feelings or even refuse without damaging the relationship.

It can also mean you've let him go and are treating him as just your boss. This shows your distrust of authority and acceptance of its punitive side.

Your boss approached you to talk about his girlfriend and family of origin because he trusts you. Talking about these topics makes it seem like you are closer, and perhaps he wants your understanding. However, I think that your boss is also a little unclear about the boundaries, which creates an illusion for you and leaves you at a loss.

If it were a simple superior-subordinate relationship, your boss telling you this would show trust and be a good thing. Because of what happened before, you have some concerns, so you have not completely withdrawn from the emotional mode and returned to the superior-subordinate relationship mode, which has created a dilemma.

3. Solution:

1. Be honest about your feelings. When your boss approaches you, you can say, "It hurts me when you say things like that. Explain your relationship with him.

You can also leave and try it a few times. He will go away when he knows what to do.

If the boss gets angry or punishes you, you will leave. You must overcome your sensitivity to rejection.

3. You may think about how you've grown and if you've experienced separation.

4. Love yourself. You are worthy and valuable. Affirm yourself and increase your confidence.

Hello!

I'm a mindfulness coach, and I'm here to tell you that learning is the treasure of the body!

From your description, I can feel your inner depression, exhaustion, discomfort, disappointment, pain, and helplessness. But don't worry! I can help you with all of that.

You are upset because you like your boss, but he has a girlfriend. I won't go into detail here, but I have three pieces of advice for you that I think you'll find really helpful!

First, I suggest you try to accept your current state. It's a great place to start!

Doing so will make your heart feel slightly lighter, which will help you think about what to do next!

You say that you have fallen in love with your boss, and only recently found out that he has a girlfriend. This state of unrequited love makes you feel tired, sad, and disappointed. But you can talk to him normally, and you're going to start feeling better! In fact, if someone else were in your situation, they would most likely be just like you. Because love is exclusive, and no one can feel good about being unable to love, let alone when it's your boss and you can't refuse when he talks to you. So you have to try to accept your own situation and "see" that painful, disappointed self inside you who doesn't know what to do for the time being. This will give you extra mental energy to think about other things, otherwise your mind will be filled with all kinds of negative emotions. But you can change that!

And the best part is, allowing yourself to try to understand and accept yourself will make it possible to promote change in the current situation! It may sound contradictory, but that's the beauty of it. Change is based on allowing for no change, so you can embrace it fully.

Secondly, I suggest you take a rational look at your own state of mind.

Rational thinking is a great way to understand yourself and reality better!

Ready to take control and make some positive changes? Here's what you need to do to start seeing things clearly:

First, get this: He has a girlfriend, and guess what? You can express your feelings for him too!

I'm not saying this to ask you to destroy the relationship between him and his girlfriend. I'm saying this to give you the power to change your own life! If you can tell him how you feel, the state of your relationship may change. He may choose you and break up with his girlfriend. In this way, you won't have to suffer the pain of unrequited love. It may also be that after he knows that you like him, but he tells you that it is impossible, and that he will only treat you as a friend, then you will not be as sad, because you will know the answer.

Second, it's time to establish a sense of boundaries with others!

In other words, if you feel that he has a different sense of boundaries than you do, and you don't want to explain to him that you like him, then you can tell him that in the future, you would like him to talk to you less about his current and former relationships, so that you will feel better. Because he will know where your boundaries are, and you can set them wherever you want them to be!

And the best part is, you can change the current situation!

When you take the initiative and put your mind to it, you'll be amazed at how your state of mind will change, and so will the state of your relationship with him!

I really encourage you to focus on yourself and think about what you can do to feel better!

When you think about it rationally, you'll know what to do! Now, focus on yourself and give it your best shot!

For example, you can ask yourself if you are ready to explain to him your feelings for him. If you are not ready, then give yourself some time to think about it or to say it out loud, so that your pent-up emotions can be released. Or you can choose to accept the reality and no longer be affected by him too much, so that you can feel better too.

If you choose to speak up and he tells you that you are not possible for him and that he just sees you as a good friend, then you will have to accept the reality for now. This will make you feel better because you will know exactly what he is thinking, and you can then move on to bigger and better things!

You can also use the communication method of "resolute without hostility" when his sense of boundaries is not very clear and it makes you feel uncomfortable. That is, "you reject him and tell him that you don't want to listen to him talk about his ex and his current girlfriend. You are resolute in your attitude, but you are not hostile." In this way, he may also realize that his actions make you feel uncomfortable, and then change, without affecting your superior-subordinate relationship. Even if it does affect the superior-subordinate relationship, you may also realize that you are likely to bear the consequences. In other words, you have to see your own strength. Those things that make you worry are not that scary, which can also make you feel better.

You can also talk about your negative emotions with trusted family and friends, which will also make you feel better! Once negative emotions start flowing, they have a healing effect.

You can also try to distract yourself when you are feeling bad, so that you don't stay in a negative mood all the time. In short, you need to know that you can do something to improve the situation, and you can!

Once you start taking action, you'll be amazed at how quickly those negative emotions start to melt away. It's incredible how action can be the best remedy for so many of life's challenges!

I really hope my answer helps you! If you want to chat some more, just click on "Find a coach to interpret – online conversation" at the bottom, and I'll be happy to talk to you one-on-one!

I can feel the anguish and confusion in the questioner's heart, but I can also feel the love! The questioner really likes the other person, but the other person already has a girlfriend. Perhaps the condition of the other person having a girlfriend is also preventing the questioner from getting closer to the other person and developing the relationship further, just as the questioner said, "unrequited love."

The questioner mentioned that he had been in the same situation before, and that the other person also had a girlfriend. This is a great opportunity for the questioner to reflect on what he gained in these two relationships and what kind of feelings he had in such relationships. It's possible that this may be a kind of "habitual thinking" in the questioner's subconscious mind, which he can now recognize and choose to change.

I'm excited to share some insights here that I think will be really helpful for the questioner. It's often the case that we don't fully understand why we do the things we do. It's usually our subconscious selves that drive our thoughts and actions. Our subconscious selves are simply trying to meet their own needs through these actions. From their perspective, this is the only way to do it, and there is no other way. The questioner may feel like they are "unable to love," but what they're really experiencing is this "unable to love." Once the questioner becomes aware of and understands their own feelings in the relationship process, they'll have a much better understanding of why this is the case.

From another perspective, or subconsciously, I'm excited to explore what love in return could bring! To understand why I'm excited to pursue it, I'm eager to uncover what's been suppressed in my subconscious and what experiences from my growth journey have shaped my intimate relationships.

We all know that when choosing a partner in a relationship, we will choose someone who is single and unattached. And why not? It's a great way to enjoy a relationship that is relatively easy to navigate. You can be with the other person openly and legally, have enough freedom and happiness, enjoy the other person's more attention and care for you, and not have to face the accusations of society. On the contrary, if the other person has a partner and you still want to get along with them, it is equivalent to "stealing" attention and care from someone else. Not only will you not get enough attention and care, and be unable to be together openly, you will also face the accusations of society against the other person, which will put a lot of pressure on both of you. The two of you will not be able to get enough freedom and happiness together, and naturally the relationship will be difficult to develop stably and harmoniously. But that's OK! There are plenty of other ways to enjoy a great relationship.

This comparison will really highlight the problem. But the good news is that people will choose a less stressful relationship with more freedom and happiness!

Of course, some people will choose to develop a relationship with less freedom and happiness, as long as they can accept it as long as it is legal and permitted. No one is forcing anyone to pursue it! If you can't accept it, you get to consider making adjustments and changes. If the questioner wants to protect their emotions, they get to decide what kind of emotions they want to pursue, whether it is a love with more freedom and happiness, or other emotions.

The good news is that the questioner can take control of the situation by seeking counseling from a suitable teacher. This will help him learn to express himself according to his inner feelings at the right time.

Hello, I'm Jiang 61, and I'm here to help!

Thank you so much for trusting us and telling us about your troubles. I can see you've learned that your favorite boss has a girlfriend. It seems like the boss has taken the initiative to contact you and talk about personal matters. I can fully understand how you feel right now. It's so hard to face your boss as if nothing has happened.

You're in a tough spot, my friend. I'm here for you, and I'm going to give you a big hug and some much-needed comfort. You're asking how you can protect your emotions, and I'm going to do my best to answer that question.

Let me try to answer your question, my friend.

1. In love

I like my boss, but I only recently learned that he has a girlfriend. He even told me himself in conversation!

It's okay, we've all been there. You're in love again, but the person you love is not single, they have a girlfriend, and this is the second time you've encountered this situation. Why?

Your boss knows what you're thinking, so he's sending you a message, unintentionally, that he already has a girlfriend.

1. The reason for the disappearance of sadness

I've found that I can control my emotions and usually have normal conversations with him, but it's still hard to shake this feeling of sadness and disappointment.

I've tried liking guys with girlfriends before, and it always made me feel a bit tired because I couldn't get the love I wanted. I'm feeling a little unsure about my love life at the moment.

Hey there! I just wanted to share a little bit about the law of attraction.

Have you heard of the law of attraction? It basically says that when you focus your thoughts on something, it attracts people, things, and objects related to that area. There's this amazing invisible energy that guides the whole universe. It's pretty incredible to think that it's been keeping the earth running smoothly for 4.6 billion years!

Most people think that we're just easily attracted to someone because they're charming. But the reality is far more complicated! On the one hand, attraction is related to our own attractive personal characteristics. But it also depends on the other person's needs, preferences, wishes, and situation.

It's so interesting how we're drawn to people who make us feel good. It's like we're looking for a little bit of heaven on earth! But it's not always easy to understand why we make the choices we do.

As you mentioned, it seems like your boss has really captured your attention because you're longing for attention and love. It's so great that they've been paying attention to you! It's like they've been giving you what you needed in the way you needed it. It's no wonder you're feeling so moved and attracted to them. It's a tough feeling to shake off, I know!

It's so interesting how our families influence us!

You mentioned that in both of your relationships, the other person had a girlfriend, and in both cases, you were unable to get the love you wanted. You described your heart as being very tired, poor thing! It's so sad when you're longing for love and you can't find it. It's like you're searching for something you've never had. I can relate to that. I've been there too.

It's so interesting how our minds work, isn't it? This pattern of need is actually the same. As soon as someone of this type appears, their qualities happen to be just what you need, and you are attracted to them, as if you have found a sense of fulfillment.

So, you'll find yourself drawn to this type of person, even if you don't realize it.

2. Let me tell you why I'm holding back my emotions.

When I chat with him, I often find myself distracted because I'm always suppressing my feelings. When it comes to topics like his girlfriend and ex-girlfriend, I don't feel good about it. But because I feel that the other person is my boss and I still trust him, I don't think it's appropriate to be indifferent and detached at this time. But I'm not very happy just listening to him talk all the time.

It's totally normal to feel a little uncomfortable when you hear him talking about his girlfriend. It just shows that you care about where his emotional investment lies.

You'd love for him to devote his attention to you, but he says he's busy chatting with his girlfriend, and you get a little jealous and upset. It's a bit of a strange situation, isn't it? You're jealous of someone you've never even met!

Your feelings also come from your guesses about your boss. You feel that he still trusts you, which is great! But it can also make you feel a bit insecure. It's totally normal to feel this way!

You want to get close to your boss, but you feel like you're restricted by his position. You may also feel restricted by your professionalism, like your relationship with him might be purely professional and that you can't show your feelings. It's totally understandable to suppress your emotions and suffer in silence.

You're not quite sure whether you should agree with his comments, and you're feeling a little down.

3. Unclear boundaries

I would love it if he were more indifferent to me, because then I can focus more on other things. But lately, it seems like he's really happy to chat with me about more topics, including things from his childhood, taking his ex-girlfriend to meet his parents, and how his parents raised him.

Maybe we have different ideas about boundaries. I haven't really talked to many other guys about these in-depth topics.

Maybe he's an extrovert and just really open-minded, so he doesn't hold back when chatting about these things with others.

In your mind, you hope that your boss will be less proactive and enthusiastic towards you, so that you can restrain yourself and gradually transform your secret crush into a normal colleague relationship, or even fall in love with someone else. However, your boss is happy to chat with you about a wide range of topics, including his childhood.

You think this is a pretty personal topic, and you're not sure you'd feel comfortable discussing it with someone you're not that close to. So you think your boss might be a little unclear about boundaries.

This can also make you feel a bit overwhelmed, which is totally understandable!

Boundaries

In psychology, boundaries are all about understanding the limits of responsibility and power in relationships. They help us to keep our personal space safe and respected, while also allowing us to connect with others in a healthy way. All relationships have boundaries, which can be divided into two main types: external boundaries and internal boundaries.

External boundaries include things like physical boundaries and material boundaries, while internal boundaries include psychological boundaries and emotional boundaries.

Personal topics are one's psychological boundaries. Many people have blurred boundaries, including invasion of privacy, which can manifest in process interpretation, prying into privacy, or excessive exposure.

When your boss tells you about something from his childhood, it can feel like the boundaries between you and your colleagues are getting a little blurred. It's totally normal to have some misunderstandings and to daydream a little when you're having a good chat!

2. Let's take an objective look at the situation.

I can see why you're feeling so conflicted on the inside.

Guess whether your boss likes you!

If your boss approaches you and tells you stories about his childhood, it may be a bit of a transgression. It may also be that your boss, in order to show that he is a kind and approachable person, makes you feel at ease with him, so he tells you intimate things from the past. The original intention is not to say that we can be close and intimate with each other and say anything. Your boss is also trusting you, and he's a great guy!

However, you suspect that your boss has a crush on you and likes you, which has led to some pretty intense feelings. You really want to know what your boss is thinking and why he has a girlfriend but also talks to you about intimate topics, blurring the boundaries.

2. Not making a distinction between your work and personal relationships

It's totally understandable to feel this way! It's natural to want to know how your boss feels about you as a person, and it's also important to understand why they're communicating with you from a work perspective. It can be tricky to distinguish between the two, but it's important to remember that they're not always the same thing. When you're sure that you're talking about work, it's best to get straight to the point and avoid discussing personal matters.

If you do feel that he has crossed a line in private communication outside of work, you can say so directly, tell him your attitude towards the topic, or even tactfully tell him your attitude towards life. You can also just listen without expressing any opinions.

In short, it's always a good idea to let the other person know how you view the personal relationship between the two of you.

3. Always seeking the unattainable love of childhood

Your pain also has an irreparable result from childhood. The two people I like are both in relationships. I guess these two people are both able to be considerate, take good care of others, understand others, and are relatively mature and stable. They are the people you have always yearned for, so when you meet this type of person, you are easily very interested and moved.

It's totally normal to like someone. The tricky part is that when you don't know the other person's identity, you pour your emotions into them first, getting yourself caught up in it and suffering terribly. But if you find out about the other person's private life before investing your emotions, you can avoid getting caught up in a relationship and being unable to extricate yourself.

3. How to protect your true emotions

1. Emotional independence

It's time to step out from the shadow of your family of origin and become an independent person emotionally. I don't know the living conditions of your family of origin, but from your words and analysis, I suspect that you were once a person who lacked love and needed to be filled. How to protect your emotions and let yourself step out of the shadow of your childhood is:

It's so important to learn to love yourself!

Learning to love yourself is all about valuing yourself.

You deserve to do what you want! Tell yourself that you are the most important person in the world, and that your emotions belong to you. Set aside a special time each week to do what you want.

Reward: Give yourself a well-deserved treat every time you complete something you think is difficult. Celebrate your achievements and let your emotions know how proud you are of them!

Ritual: When you've achieved something you've been working towards, choose something special that you can look back on and feel proud of.

It's so great when your family and colleagues support you! When you make progress, they give you timely recognition, making you feel that you are being noticed, seen, and loved, and emotionally supported.

If you do these four things, you'll love yourself so much more and you'll be able to let your emotions out in a healthy way. When you're true to yourself, your emotions will be protected.

It's so important to pay attention to your own needs!

It's so important to pay attention to your own needs, know when to refuse and why, and when to accept other people's requests and help. This is manifested in knowing how to set boundaries between yourself and others.

You mentioned that your boss doesn't know what impact his remarks have on you, and you want to let him know that your need is to know where the bottom line is. I can see how that would be really important for you! It's so important to respect your own needs.

It's so important to have your own independent personality!

It's so important to believe that your existence and your life have nothing to do with whether someone treats you well or not. And you should absolutely insist on your independence!

Be emotionally independent of anyone, and don't let anyone interfere or dominate you.

In Adler's view, the ideal relationship is probably "I love you, but it's none of your business." His main idea is "separation of issues."

He believes that everyone's topic is separate and unique. That means that how you feel about me is your own thing, and whether you accept my love is your issue, not mine.

My emotional independence is something I need to work on, and your love for me is something you need to focus on. It's not something I can help with.

2. It's also a good idea to clarify boundaries.

You brought up the topic of boundaries the other day. You have your own boundaries, but you're not sure how to express them because you haven't realized that you need to set boundaries between the two of you. You're only thinking about the worst that might happen if you set boundaries. You're not ready to face the discomfort you might feel when setting boundaries.

So, you're hesitating to come forward, worrying about how it'll affect the relationship between you two. It's totally understandable! The relationship can sometimes get in the way of setting healthy boundaries.

So, since you've set your own boundaries, it's important to let your boss know what they are and what you need from him. Only by being clear on your boundaries can you have a happy, healthy relationship and keep your emotions in check.

Here are some ways you can express yourself:

Let's be honest with each other. If your boss is talking about something personal again, you can kindly tell him, "I'm not really interested in your childhood, but I'd love to hear more about what you have to say."

Speak your mind! It's so important to clearly express your expectations. When we suppress our feelings, it can feel like a self-defeating act. And when we hide things from each other, it can feel like we're distancing ourselves from the other person.

If he starts talking about his girlfriend again, you can say, "Hey, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't bring up your girlfriend in front of me. I'd rather not get involved in that conversation. It's something you two need to work out between you."

It's totally normal to feel a bit of inner unrest after setting boundaries in your relationship. You might feel a little guilty, worried, sad, remorseful, or embarrassed. That's OK! When these feelings arise, try not to pay too much attention to them. Just let them come and go.

Three simple rules to follow: don't apologize for setting boundaries, don't waver, and don't say too much.

It's also important to set physical boundaries.

It's always a good idea to maintain a certain physical distance and personal space with your boss at work. This helps to keep things professional and respectful. And of course, there's nothing wrong with a little physical contact, as long as it's comfortable for you both!

It's so important to have emotional boundaries!

It's so important to be considerate when you're sharing your feelings and personal information. It's best not to share private matters without reservation, especially with your boss. As a listener, it's best not to evaluate or interfere when your boss crosses the line and reveals their emotions. Just be a listener or a reluctant listener.

It's so important to remember that knowing your limits doesn't make you selfish. It simply means maintaining a healthy distance from those around you, including your boss, once you've gained a new perspective on things. It's not about betrayal, but rather about standing firm on your principles to protect your relationships and emotions.

3. Look after your bottom line, sweetheart!

It's so important to defend your bottom line, whether it's with your boss or your colleagues. There's a minimum and necessary condition for doing things, and you should do your best with things within your capabilities. It's not about your relationship with others, it's about doing a good job!

It's so important to remember that you shouldn't do things that are beyond your ability or morality, even if you have a great relationship with the person.

Remember, keeping your bottom line is a way to keep your basic dignity as a person and shows your self-confidence. If you want people to respect you, you have to respect yourself first. You have to respect your own emotions, have your own bottom line, be brave enough to say "no" to others, and protect your dignity and emotions.

4. Try to keep a calm attitude.

In your self-statement, you talked about your worries and the various things that have happened to you. Those were essential experiences in your growth process, and you should not always keep them in mind as a burden, as if they were really a burden on your heart. Let go of the burden in your heart and view what happened with a calm mind. You've been through a lot, and you've come so far!

Tell yourself, "I was young and naive then, and it was bound to be a bumpy road. Now, with age, experience, and a growth of mindset, I have summed up the lessons learned, and the problems of the past have been corrected."

I really value the present and the future, and I'm excited to see how I can grow and make myself better! Allowing yourself to become calm in your attitude towards things is also a great way to find a secure home for your emotions.

Questioner, I really hope you can free yourself from the emotional bondage you've placed on yourself in the past. It's so important to look clearly at the reasons why things happened the way they did. The solution is to love yourself and be yourself!

I just want to wish the original poster all the best!

The message clearly shows that the questioner is sad and at a loss because she has suppressed her feelings for her girlfriend's boss.

I am confident that the following response will help you deal with this dilemma and expand your thinking.

I am confident that the following response will help you deal with this dilemma and expand your thinking.

First, you need to understand the factors behind your emotional patterns.

From the message, it's clear that this isn't the first time the questioner has liked a guy with a girlfriend. You've experienced the pain of unrequited love and you're tired and powerless as a result.

However, repeated experiences indicate that there is a psychological mechanism behind this that affects you.

The lack of information about the questioner's family environment and past emotional experiences means I cannot make any wild guesses or inferences. However, I will throw out a few ideas as a reference direction.

Such repeated experiences can be called "compulsive repetition" in psychology. This repetition often has a significant impact on the individual from the beginning, or it is an irreparable regret, or an uncontrollable situation. Therefore, unconsciously, in the future, they hope that this kind of "repetition" can regain a sense of control.

These are just speculations, and the questioner needs to understand the possibilities based on their own actual situation.

2. Set clear boundaries and distinguish between private and public matters.

The questioner seems to be placing the decision-making power over the relationship on the other person.

I would rather he was cold to me because then I can focus more on other things.

This approach will not help you become more active in the relationship. It won't help you in your personal relationship with your supervisor or in your superior-subordinate relationship.

If you know you won't do anything to "steal his love," take action to distance yourself. Don't suppress your feelings.

From what I can see in the chat with the boss, he's sharing too much about his personal life. You need to communicate with your boss in an honest manner about how this kind of expression is distressing you.

There is no such thing as a superior or subordinate in a private relationship. It is not easy to communicate this, but it is important to do so. The relationship between superior and subordinate at work is an objective one.

This part is honest and communicates for the purpose of maintaining a good relationship. If the superior is reasonable, they will understand the boundaries of this part. If not, then the superior's actions constitute harassment, which requires you to clarify your position.

I am confident that the above sharing will inspire you.

I am a clinical psychologist. I don't explore human nature. I care about the human heart. Bless you.

Good day, young lady. I am Yi Xinli's Destruction and Regeneration, and I am grateful for the opportunity to connect with you on this platform. I hope that my words can bring you a little coolness in this hot summer.

After reading your question, I believe I may have answered a similar one before. Could you please confirm whether you are the same person who asked that question? In any case, I would still like to share my thoughts if you would like me to.

Perhaps it would be best to reconsider the topics you've discussed. Personal matters like these are best kept private, especially when discussing them with a female subordinate.

I think there might be some confusion here. Let me give you a warm hug first (づ ●─● )づ.

On the other hand, his willingness to discuss these topics may indicate that he trusts you. It's also possible that he has a lot of pent-up emotions and wants to talk about them. However, it's important to note that this doesn't necessarily indicate his level of affection for you.

Furthermore, your description brings to mind the Law of Attraction in Energy Psychology, which suggests that everyone's emotions, thoughts, and behaviors have a certain energy vibration frequency, and that only those with similar frequencies will be attracted to each other. It is encouraging to see that you have been able to connect with such an outstanding man and engage in conversation with him. This demonstrates your own abilities and that your judgment is not unfounded.

Given your qualifications, you are likely to find someone as good as him. There is no need to worry about finding a boyfriend.

It is also possible that he has already guessed that you like him. After all, people who can become leaders are not low in emotional intelligence. However, he may not have mentioned it directly. Perhaps he wants to tell you these personal things about him so that you can fully understand him.

He wants to let you know that behind his excellence, there are also many untold stories, which you cannot get involved in. He hopes you will withdraw in the face of difficulty. Or, there may be a disagreement between him and his girlfriend (they may have even broken up), and he has guessed that you like him, but he doesn't want to accept you directly, but instead chooses to tease you, to see if you can withstand the blow and the pressure. This may be a test for you (because such an outstanding person often has high expectations for their partner). He has had a breakup before, and that may be the source of this.

At the same time, he is also sharing some personal details about himself, which allows you to get to know him better and see if you can accept him for who he is. He wants you to think carefully about this.

It would be beneficial to learn three things: your own business, other people's business, and God's business. What you think and do is your own business; how others treat you is other people's business; as for whether you can be with him in the future, it depends on fate, which is God's business.

Perhaps the best course of action would be to focus on your own responsibilities and strive to excel in them. It might be best to refrain from concerning yourself with matters beyond your control.

Perhaps it would be best to leave the rest to God.

I hope this is helpful to you.

Your boss is your colleague. This is a fact. It's not up for debate. In the office, everyone is a colleague. This is not something that can be changed. In order to cooperate with each other and keep the company running better, this job and the relationship in the workplace must be pure. This means that you have a colleague relationship from the beginning.

This relationship is best as a colleague relationship. If one party quits the company and never comes back, the two of you may go from being former colleagues to a romantic relationship, or any other relationship is possible. For now, you're both in the same company, so it's best to be professional.

Don't mix personal feelings with the workplace. Your boss may not be aware of what he's doing because he often tells you about his personal matters. This gives you the illusion that the relationship is very good in private, but it's not. He may just want to find an outlet.

He wants to talk to someone, and you're the one who's available. The other person also has a girlfriend, so at work, you're colleagues, probably good ones. Plus, the other person is more outgoing. These words have been said to you and others. He has his own relationships in his private life.

He doesn't need another intimate relationship, and you don't need to make things difficult for yourself. Be professional and look at this matter with a purer perspective. You've experienced similar relationships in the past, which were exhausting. You felt disrespected, and your emotions were ignored. This is unacceptable.

You must remember that this is just the workplace. Don't even think about developing a romantic relationship with your boss. It's unnecessary and highly unlikely. There's no need to do so. You should focus on expanding your social circle, not just the small one within your own world.

You haven't met a man who's better than your boss, so you're setting your sights on him. He's already got a girlfriend. Maybe the other person still trusts you, but you need to know when to back off. The other person trusts you, but maybe he also trusts other people, and there's nothing special about it?

He is just an ordinary person, and he already has a girlfriend. You must maintain a proper attitude and make your values more upright. At the same time, you can also talk about your views in this area in the counseling room to see if other people's ideas are different from yours, which will bring you some important inspiration. As a dedicated, honest, and friendly heart exploration coach, I recommend you read "My Infinite Potential," "Tiny Habits," "You Can Be Kind but Have a Bottom Line," and "Self and the Self." Good luck!

What is the question?

Hello, question asker! I want to start by offering you my deepest sympathies. I can already sense your loss, embarrassment, difficulty, and confusion from your words.

It can be disappointing when you meet someone you like and discover they already have a girlfriend. It can be embarrassing when the person is your boss and you see them every day. It can be difficult to maintain a distance from them while still respecting their privacy. Their enthusiasm and trust can make it challenging to know how to handle the psychological and physical distance from this boss. It can be confusing to navigate the emotional challenges that arise from this situation.

Dealing with the big and small issues at work every day can be exhausting, and now you have this emotional problem in front of you. With so many layers of relationships involved, you may feel a bit tired, both physically and mentally. I imagine your enthusiasm and efficiency at work may also be affected to some extent.

Best wishes to you!

If you would like to simplify this relationship and make it free of burdens in the workplace, and if you would like to regain your happiness, it would be helpful to first figure out what position he holds in your heart. It is important to remember that the positioning of relationships between people can be multidimensional. Even if it is simply a colleague, there are still differences in closeness and familiarity, and the level of trust is also different.

We will regard those colleagues who are reliable, trustworthy, able to trust each other, support each other, and stand by each other as "comrades-in-arms." This kind of friendship is not common in the workplace, and when it does exist, it is something to be valued.

It is not easy to identify, test, or cultivate this kind of camaraderie through daily chatter and ordinary work. It is something that is built up over time through many battles. As the saying goes, "time reveals people's hearts" and "you can see a person's heart and character in the way they handle things." It requires long-term observation and adjustment. When you need it most in the workplace, a comrade-in-arms can help you and give you a hand.

It would be wise to consider whether your boss can provide effective guidance and direction to all subordinates, not just you, in the workplace. It would also be helpful to assess whether he can set an example, take the initiative, handle rewards and punishments fairly, and demonstrate sufficient ability and strength. In short, the first thing you may want to think about is whether he is a competent and outstanding leader.

If he is not a leader who is sufficiently convincing and competent in the first place, with due respect, the small talk between him and you in the workplace may not create any value for the company or your personal growth. It could even place a heavy psychological burden on you as a subordinate. Whether you like him or not, his small talk may take up your valuable time and energy.

If he is a capable leader who is able to command the respect of his subordinates, there is nothing wrong with him chatting with them after work, provided it doesn't impede productivity. Leaders are also human, and we all go to work, not to abstain from sex and chant sutras. Therefore, this is perfectly normal.

Perhaps the reason you feel a bit awkward is because you have positive feelings for him, which can sometimes make us feel a little uncomfortable.

It would be beneficial to consider where your value and position lie in the workplace. This may seem a rather rational way of thinking, but it is a very useful approach. If you are a valuable presence, not a rookie or newcomer, but an employee who can take on responsibilities independently, then you and he will appreciate and recognize each other.

Otherwise, you may unintentionally become an outlet for his emotions, which could lead him to confide in you about personal matters without fully considering the implications. If you are merely a person's emotional outlet, you may be perceived as providing emotional value to the other person, but not necessarily creating work value for your organization and unit. This could potentially lead to a lack of mutual respect, appreciation, and recognition between you.

It is important to remember that your position in the company and in the heart of this leader can be easily replaced.

If I might offer you a suggestion, young lady, it would be this:

First, consider whether the other person is a good leader at work. If they are not, it might be best to limit your conversations. Instead, focus your time together on how to create value for the company. If they are a competent leader, take the initiative to learn from them. Observe what they do well and how you can apply those skills to your own work. This will help you grow and become more independent. Even if your leader is no longer there, you can still handle your work with ease, establish your value in the company, and develop a respectful relationship with your colleagues.

It would be wise to consider a person's character and abilities not only through casual conversation, but also through repeated events and challenges. This will help you to determine whether they are someone you can trust. If they are someone who will stand up for you and your colleagues when you need them, they are likely to be someone you can trust and learn from. Otherwise, it might be best to maintain a certain distance.

How might one politely distance oneself without offending others?

1. One possible approach to navigating ambiguous relationships between men and women is to consider ways of creating a psychological distance. This could involve positioning yourself within the company, analysing your position in the value chain, setting goals for your career, learning quickly and growing quickly, so that your mental space is occupied by professionalism and there is less time for romantic relationships.

2. Another option is to maintain a certain social distance in reality. If you find yourself in a situation where you don't want to hear about your leader's personal matters, it might be helpful to focus the conversation on work-related topics. This approach can have several benefits. Firstly, it can demonstrate your motivation and commitment to the workplace. Secondly, it allows you to seek guidance from your leader while avoiding any potential discomfort or awkwardness. Over time, your leader will likely notice that you prefer to discuss work while he continues to talk about personal matters. This can lead to a natural shift in the dynamic, where he may realize it's not the best topic for the moment and adjust his approach.

If I might make one more suggestion, it would be to try to maintain a trusting and respectful relationship with him in the workplace. It can be challenging to navigate complicated emotional relationships at work, and it might be difficult to sustain the pure comradeship you currently have if other relationships are involved. I hope you don't have to face this challenge.

Please accept my warmest regards!

Greetings, question asker.

My name is Xiaobai, and I extend my sincerest hope that I may be of assistance in alleviating your concerns.

First, I will offer a gesture of comfort from a distance.

In this context, it seems pertinent to offer some views and suggestions, with a view to providing assistance.

Let us initially examine the particular issue that the questioner has confronted and endeavor to comprehend and evaluate it.

The question then becomes: How might one safeguard one's emotional well-being in such a situation?

I have developed a romantic interest in my boss, but I recently discovered that he is already in a relationship. He informed me of this during a conversation.

Despite my ability to regulate my emotions and engage in typical discourse with him, I am unable to assuage the feelings of sadness and disappointment that persist.

Given my previous experiences of attempting to form romantic attachments with men who were already in relationships, I have developed a sense of fatigue and a lack of confidence in my ability to navigate the complexities of romantic relationships.

I would prefer that he maintain an indifferent demeanor toward me, as it would allow me to direct my attention toward other pursuits. However, recently, he has exhibited a willingness to engage in discourse on a broader range of subjects, including anecdotes from his childhood, the experience of introducing his former romantic partner to his parents, and the influence of his parents on his upbringing.

It is possible that my perception of boundaries with him is significantly divergent. I have, in general, seldom engaged in detailed discussions with other individuals on these complex topics.

It is possible that he is more outgoing and cheerful in character, which may result in a lack of emotional defenses when discussing such matters with others.

When I converse with him, I frequently find myself distracted, as I tend to suppress my emotions. Discussions about his girlfriend and former romantic partners evoke a negative emotional response within me. However, given my perception of him as a superior figure and my belief that he still holds trust in me, I feel it is not appropriate to adopt an indifferent attitude at this time. Nevertheless, I am not entirely content merely listening to him speak.

It is challenging for individuals to regulate their emotions. There is no inherent issue with developing an affinity for another person; however, it is crucial to understand the appropriate boundaries. You have indicated in your article that he is currently involved with another romantic partner. In light of this information, it may be advisable to reconsider your expectations and adjust your perspective.

It is not uncommon for him to initiate contact with the intention of engaging in conversation, rather than expressing romantic interest. If you are genuinely interested in pursuing a relationship with him, it would be prudent to allow time for this to develop.

If the feeling is merely a general liking, there is no need to dwell on it incessantly; simply wait passively. Should he and his girlfriend fail to see eye to eye, there may be an opportunity for you to intervene.

I disapprove of "brave" pursuits. While they may yield an answer, they inevitably result in the destruction of another person's feelings. Even if one is unable to give up, it is unethical to interfere. This is a matter of character.

It is imperative to ascertain whether your sentiments towards him are those of friendship or love. It is acceptable to enjoy the company of a friend, but if you desire to disrupt his relationship with his girlfriend, it is unethical and you should endeavour to refrain from such thoughts.

It is imperative to remain calm and rational. Despite the common assertion that love is irrational and blind, the fundamental distinction between humans and animals lies in their respective actions. Animals act on instinct, whereas humans act on reason and adhere to moral standards.

If one finds oneself in a situation where one desires to be in a romantic relationship with another individual, it is likely that there are certain characteristics or qualities that one admires in that individual. In order to receive the love that one deserves, it is essential to work diligently to improve oneself and become a better person. All individuals possess an inherent need for self-realization. When this need is fulfilled, one experiences a sense of accomplishment and pride. At this juncture, one is better equipped to navigate emotional challenges.

In essence, the concept of love is not as straightforward as merely liking someone. In order to gain a romantic partner, it is essential to first enhance one's own personal growth and recognize one's intrinsic value, thereby attaining a superior quality of love.

It is not appropriate to adopt an indifferent and distant attitude towards one's superior, particularly when one perceives that they still trust one. However, if one continues to listen to their superior's discourse, one may experience negative emotions. It is therefore recommended that one speaks their mind, and that one finds time to engage in a constructive dialogue. It is important to note that caution is necessary in professional interactions, but that one should endeavour to express themselves in a tactful manner.

In conclusion, the following represent my personal views and suggestions, which I offer for reference only and with the hope that they may prove helpful.

My name is Xiaobai, and I am free of concerns. I extend my affection to the world and to you.

I extend my best wishes to you.

You want a special, exclusive relationship. But fate gives you girlfriends.

Maybe you think fate is to blame, but it's really your own actions. Why do you always fall for guys with girlfriends?

We will analyze some psychological issues to help you understand why this happens and how to deal with it.

Understand the law of attraction.

Birds of a feather flock together. People stick with their own kind.

The soul of a group gathers scattered people together. These people have some kind of commonality. This is why the soul can attract people to come together.

You said, "I like my boss, but I just found out he has a girlfriend."

He told me this in our conversations. I could control my emotions and chat with him normally.

I've tried to like guys with girlfriends before. It always ends in unrequited love, which makes me feel tired.

"I don't have confidence in my love life."

You liked him first, then found out he had a girlfriend, and got caught up in an emotional dilemma. But the real issue is that you didn't distance yourself from him when you found out about his girlfriend, which caused the emotional dilemma.

You're reluctant to give up someone you think may be right for you. This includes your mention of past failures with guys who also had girlfriends.

You didn't make it clear when you wanted to end things. You gave them a chance to fantasize about an affair.

This makes them unhappy.

So, you should avoid these men so you don't get into trouble.

2. Find out why your relationship failed.

1. Understand why men play with two women.

A loyal man won't have an ambiguous relationship with a woman who shows affection for him. But the men you've met tell you they have girlfriends when they realize you have feelings for them, but they keep communicating with you.

They want to keep you in an ambiguous situation. They don't want to leave their current girlfriend, but they also want more ambiguous relationships.

You said you'd rather he was indifferent to you so you could focus on other things. But lately he's happy to chat with you about more topics, including things from his childhood, taking his ex to meet his parents, and how his parents raised him.

Maybe I have different boundaries than he does. I rarely talk about these topics with other guys.

"

He's your superior. When he senses that you like him,

Tell yourself you have a girlfriend. If you like him, he'll test the waters by talking about his personal life. He wants a close relationship but keeps his distance.

2. End meaningless relationships.

If you want a love that is exclusively yours, keep your distance from these non-single men.

Stay away from them.

Don't waste your time on these people. When you have enough time, you will know who the right person for you is.

You won't miss a good relationship because you're caught up in emotional entanglements.

3. How to handle relationships at work

1. Keep your distance from your opposite-sex supervisor.

In the workplace, be clear about your career plans. Keep a safe distance from your superiors.

Focus on work. Avoid personal relationships.

You lack emotional intelligence and should not fall in love with your superior.

If he's single, it will distract you and affect your work.

Avoid personal topics.

Avoid personal topics when you want to keep your distance from someone. If your superior initiates communication with you,

Listen, respond, and express opinions as little as possible. The other person will lose interest.

They'll lose interest in talking to you about personal topics.

You said, "I'm distracted when I chat with him because I suppress my emotions. Talking about his girlfriend and ex-girlfriends makes me feel bad, but I don't think it's appropriate to be indifferent. I don't like listening to him all the time."

If you're unhappy, avoid discussing personal topics. Here are three ways to do this.

1. Change the subject if you don't want to talk about your personal life. For example, you could say that you have an urgent work matter to discuss with him.

2. Avoid spending time alone by saying you have to leave to deal with business.

3. Leave the scene by phone. Set an alarm or call Xu to get yourself off the phone and stop the conversation.

Your ideal state of life is linked to your actions. What seems like fate is often your will.

If you want a relationship, first decide what you want and then look for the right person.

Don't waste your time on guys who aren't committed.

These men who play around with two women at the same time will not make you happy. There is no need to be torn between them. They are not the kind of partner you need.