How can you gain courage when you are afraid of being hurt and dare not express yourself?

Hello! I really hope my answer can help you in some way.

It's so important to understand ourselves first. We've all been hurt in relationships, and it's totally normal to feel insecure about them. It's only natural to have some protective mechanisms, like being afraid to express ourselves or being afraid of being mocked again. But we can get through this! How can we break free from the influence of previous relationships and gain the courage to truly express ourselves in relationships?

I'd love to offer you some advice!

It's so important to heal and release those emotions and that vulnerable, suppressed self.

From what you've told me, it seems like you've come to accept being ignored and dismissed by others. It's understandable that you might feel like you have to suppress your own needs and feelings as a result. But when you were ignored or dismissed before, were you still full of grievances and anger? Is that weak, helpless, aggrieved, angry self of yours still there?

It's so important to recognize and embrace these emotions, especially that vulnerable inner child.

You can use some methods to release these repressed emotions within yourself, such as talking to a professional psychological counselor, a psychological consultant, or a heart exploration coach. You can also write to express yourself, whether it is writing about related topics on a platform or writing on paper by yourself. You can also use the empty chair technique to express yourself. All you have to do is set up a chair in the room to control yourself, and assume that the person you want to talk to (such as someone who has suppressed you in the past) is sitting in the chair. You can say anything you want to him/her.

It's also important to reassure and heal our inner child. Take a moment to see what that child looks like, and embrace that vulnerable, helpless self of yours with the powerful, strong part of you. Imagine a bright, shining image of yourself. Let that image embrace you for a while, feel the strength you give yourself, and say to that scared, hurt child: "I see you, I know you are hurting, but you don't have to be. I'm here, I'm your strength, I'm your support."

2. You can choose to express yourself in safe, supportive relationships. When you receive positive feedback in these relationships, you can replace previous experiences in relationships and allow yourself to feel safe and secure in your relationships again.

Based on previous experiences, we may feel insecure in relationships, or even feel that relationships are dangerous. But the truth is, not all relationships are like that. We can choose to express ourselves in safe, supportive relationships, where people who understand and support you will not suppress you, but will only give you understanding, acceptance, respect, tolerance, and support. If you find it difficult to find such relationships in your life, you can find a matching psychological counselor, or participate in some professional psychological support groups. In these relationships, you will receive positive feedback, and new experiences will replace old experiences, allowing you to rebuild a sense of security in relationships.

3. Always keep growing and strengthening your inner self so that you have the courage to be disliked and gain freedom in relationships.

When you have inner strength, and when you can remain accepting and supportive of yourself even when others dislike you, then you'll be less afraid of rejection and doubt in relationships. Why? Because you'll know you're a great person, and you won't doubt or reject yourself because of what others say.

So, the first thing we need to do is change our attitude towards ourselves. We need to learn to accept, support, affirm and trust ourselves. We shouldn't give others the right to judge us. We should work on enhancing our inner strength and building up our inner self-confidence. If you'd like to know more, you can refer to my article "How to become confident?" I'm always happy to help! Once you have a stable core, you'll have the courage to be rejected and denied in relationships because you'll know you have the absolute right to judge yourself. In any situation, you'll choose to accept and understand yourself, recognize and trust yourself. Then, other people's negativity and doubt won't have such a great power over you.

I really think you'd benefit from reading "The Power of Self-Care," "The Courage to Be Disliked," "Just the Right Amount of Solitude," and "The Power of Self-Growth."

I hope this is helpful for you! Sending you lots of love and best wishes!