How can you reconcile with the past? Do parents always feel that their children are the ones who have done wrong?

Give a hug to the person who is always wronged!

I think your mother was warm and loving during your upbringing. But our brains remember the bad things most easily.

This is why we feel this way. When we talk to our parents, they deny it and remember things that were good for us.

Our feelings are real, so in counseling, we need to respect and express them. Only after expressing our anger and hatred can we forgive our parents and feel their love.

I don't know your mother and grandmother, so I don't know why they always blame you. Are you a girl?

I think your mother and grandmother have some issues with women. It's not your problem.

These memories must have had a big impact on your life. You may have learned to take the blame for conflicts with others.

It's a conditioned reflex. You worry, and you feel angry.

The subconscious mind affects our lives. When you become aware of it, it is not scary. You can stop it, then think about who is right, wrong, and responsible.

You don't want to interact with your mother this way, but you don't know how to resolve it. Try understanding what's going on by being your own therapist and observing their words and actions.

Be aware of your emotions, understand yourself, embrace yourself, and accept yourself.

Or you go for a personal analysis with someone to help you look at yourself. It's different from self-analysis, and the results are different.

Good luck!

The questioner, accept the present! Be grateful for the encounter.

From your description, it's clear you feel aggrieved and angry at the unfair treatment you've experienced. You deserve better!

However, no family is perfect, and everyone has experienced some form of trauma or imprint from their family of origin. We cannot undo the past, but we can choose to see these stories as a burden or to find resources in them for our own use.

Let me be clear: reconciliation with the past is not about making peace with an event or a person who has caused you harm. In your case, your mother is the person in question. In the past, when these things happened, your mother would scold and beat you without finding out the facts and wrong you. You would feel aggrieved inside, angry, and have a lot of emotions and feelings. And when you encounter similar things again in the future, perhaps your reaction is still not to resist and argue for the facts, but to accept other people's misunderstandings and suffer on your own.

You were once a young child, powerless to resist your mother, who was stronger than you. You accepted your mother's misunderstanding and the punishment that followed. Now you are an adult, able to protect and defend yourself. You will not put up with injustice.

You are no longer the young child you once were. When you encounter something like this again, you can calm down and tell your inner child, "I see that you have been misunderstood. You are a little afraid and aggrieved, but it's not your fault."

I'm here for you. Don't be afraid. I'll be with you, and we'll face it together. I'll explain the facts to justify myself. Now, if we have the ability, we can talk to our mothers about this again and get an apology. This kind of generalization is not too big. Generally speaking, when people get older, they are less willing to admit their mistakes and change, unless they have learned.

You must be your own spiritual parent. Love yourself well, affirm yourself more when encountering things, give yourself strength, and accompany your inner child as he grows up a little.

I wish you the best!