How can you thrive in the workplace when you are constantly being taken advantage of?

Dear Questioner, It can be hard to know how to handle being taken advantage of or having too much work. It can affect your mood and productivity. It can also make others think you are "easy to bully." Here are some tips on how to bring it up:

Know your job responsibilities. This helps you judge if a request is outside your area of responsibility.

If so, you can say no.

If you have a problem, talk to the person privately. Choose a time and place where you won't be embarrassed or in conflict.

Use facts and figures to show the problem. For example, you could say you've fallen behind in your work because you've been helping out a lot.

Tell them how you feel and what you want. For example, you could say, "I'm stressed at work. I hope we can share the workload."

If private conversations don't work or the problem is more serious, speak to your manager. Before doing so, make sure you have a detailed record of the situation and sufficient evidence to back up your claims.

Stay positive and open. Don't expect the other person to change right away, but believe you can find a better solution through communication and effort.

You're worried that after pointing it out, the other party won't help you when you encounter difficulties. But if you don't point it out, this situation may continue, which will affect your career.

Think about the pros and cons before you make a decision. You can also reduce this risk by improving your abilities and building relationships.

Hello! I really hope my answer can help you in some way.

It can be really tough when you're doing someone else's work and you feel like you're not up to it. You might feel like you should point it out, but you're also worried that if you do, he won't help you when you're in trouble. Do you think that if you don't say it when you're in trouble, he'll definitely help you? It's also really important in the workplace to be clear about what your work is and what it isn't. If it's beyond your scope, you need to protect your own boundaries. Otherwise, it'll be difficult for the company to manage, and you'll end up bearing the pressure of work that doesn't really belong to you. And for the person you're helping, it might not be the best thing, because you're doing their work, and they might not get the chance to grow in the areas they need to.

I really want to help you, so here's my advice:

In psychology, there's a saying that I think is really helpful: "You teach people how to treat you." If we always let others violate our boundaries, they'll think it's okay to do so. But if you can make your position clear and guard your boundaries, they'll know not to ask you to do their work.

It would be great if you could keep an eye out to see if he's asking people who aren't likely to be able to help him. Some folks are pretty set in their ways and might not agree to help right off the bat. Since we've helped him so many times, he might think this is what you're okay with. We've never said anything to the contrary, right?

I totally get it! I used to be just like you, a very easy-going person. Lots of people came to me for help because they felt that I would help them. I got a lot of popularity from this, and people would say I was nice. But I knew it was tiring.

Later on, after learning and growing up, I realized that I needed to set boundaries for myself. I would say no to things that I wasn't comfortable with or that weren't within my scope of responsibilities. At first, I was worried that I would offend people because of this, but then I found out that the people who truly understand and support you will stick by you, and the people who don't will probably not help you when you're in trouble, even if you've helped them a lot. When you can express your true feelings in a relationship, meet your own needs, and set your boundaries, you'll feel more comfortable, and you'll naturally be able to help others within your abilities. This way, you won't feel aggrieved or uncomfortable in the relationship, and your relationship will be more harmonious.

2. Learning to communicate effectively is a great way to prevent new conflicts and strengthen the bond between you two!

It's so easy for misunderstandings to arise between us, isn't it? And if we don't speak up and clear the air, we can end up guessing at each other's intentions. I know you might feel like he's taking advantage of you, but he might just think you'd enjoy doing more work.

It's also possible that he'll do a great job even if you don't do it, so it's important to communicate effectively. You need to express your true feelings, needs, and specific expectations of the other person. Of course, there's a way to do this. For example, you need to find an appropriate time, that is, a time when the emotions of the two of you are relatively stable. Then, you need to follow the premise of not judging or blaming. Just objectively state the matter and express your true feelings, needs, and specific requests to the other person.

It's not like he's trying to act deaf and dumb and avoid his work, is it? We just need to talk about it like adults. You could say, "X, this is something you're meant to be doing, not me. I've been doing it all along. I'm not really comfortable with it, and I'd really appreciate your respect and understanding. I'd love it if you could take this on yourself in the future, because I'm also limited for time, and I need to focus on doing my work well. Is that okay?" Then, you can listen to what he has to say. Stay calm, and don't attack or accuse. Once you understand what he needs, you can also communicate further. For example, he might have been too busy to attend to it these past two days, and he's grateful to you. If he asks for your help again, you also need to clarify your own boundaries. You could say, "I'm happy to help if you want, or we could negotiate a better solution. For example, I could help you twice a week, or I could help you when I have the energy..."

3. A truly good workplace relationship is one in which everyone can clearly understand their responsibilities, collaborate and cooperate with each other, and work together to achieve the overall goal. This is what the boss wants to see most, and it's also what we all want to see!

Have you ever wondered why there's a division of labor in the workplace? It's because everyone has different values and strengths! And to achieve a general goal, it requires different people to work together and collaborate. This way, everyone can realize their own value at work, and a company or unit can also create the greatest value.

So, it's really important that those in charge of sales do a great job of sales, those in charge of internal affairs do a great job of internal affairs, and those in charge of overall management do a great job of management. If we don't know who is doing what, it can cause a bit of chaos. It can feel like no one knows what they should be doing, and it can make us feel like our work doesn't matter. If you can clarify your responsibilities, then let's just do our part well. If you are not clear about your responsibilities, then you can talk to your boss to help you clarify the content and scope of your work.

4. When you take the time to see your own needs and your expectations of the other person, you'll find that you're better able to cope and feel more in control of your life. You'll be freer and more confident in your relationships.

From what you've told me, it seems like you're hoping that by helping him, he'll help you in return. Or maybe you think that if you help him, he'll help you when you're in trouble. Either way, it's totally understandable! But it might not necessarily work that way. Not everyone will help you just because you helped them. And if you don't express your needs, they won't know that you need their help.

And through awareness, we can see that we actually lack a sense of security when facing difficulties or future challenges. It seems that we need to cling to someone in order to feel that we can cope with the difficulties. But in fact, what we need to strengthen is our inner strength, our ability to withstand setbacks. That is, when you really encounter a problem, you can calmly and patiently solve it, and you can seek effective resources and support to help yourself, rather than relying on others to help you out of guilt or to repay a favor.

I'd love to know your thoughts on this!

Interpersonal relationships really require mutual help. We can provide help within our abilities and support others, but we don't need to compromise ourselves, nor do we have to force others to help us. However, we can establish a truly powerful support system for ourselves, so that we can get effective support when we really encounter difficulties. These people in the support system don't necessarily help you much, but they have a deep connection with you, and they themselves understand and support you, and you also understand and support them.

I hope this is helpful for you! Wishing you all the best!

Hello!

People often take advantage of me at work. They think I'm easy to bully. I want to help, but they don't do any work. I do all the work for them. Should I point it out? How should I put it? What if he doesn't help me if I have a problem?

You seem cautious and worried about conflicts.

Face your worries and fears. When you're worry-free, you can communicate and refuse things that aren't within your scope of work.

In work and in life, you need to set clear boundaries. When you do, people will respect them.

Otherwise, they will test you until you give in.

It will become uncomfortable.

When you have boundaries, help your colleagues within reason.

If you help without boundaries, they'll think you should and you're willing to. They won't think it's helpful.

If you want help from others, you have to help them first.

How will they help you when you're in trouble?

Some people won't help you when you're in trouble, even if you help a lot of people. Don't worry about things that haven't happened yet. Set your boundaries now.

Don't worry about how you treat others or conflicts.

You may think that helping others makes you a good person. But there's a Chinese proverb that says too much kindness is a nuisance.

Buddhism has three kinds of giving: material, teaching, and fearless.

The best kind of person is one who gives without fear.

Mencius said,

When you are poor, work on yourself. When you are successful, help the world.

Be a good person and help others when you can.

If you're comfortable and happy, and you can, help your colleagues. Otherwise, don't.

Take care of yourself!