How did my extremely introverted and awkward personality develop at the age of 25?

Good day. I extend to you a warm gesture of support from a distance.

I commend you for your self-awareness regarding your personal development. Effective self-awareness is a crucial first step in initiating positive change. However, based on your description, I also perceive a significant internalized sense of inferiority, lack of confidence, and self-acceptance issues.

From your description, it can be seen that, as the youngest child in the family, you were the recipients of considerable parental attention. Consequently, you may have perceived your upbringing as one of indulgence and a lack of boundaries. This could have led to an expectation of confidence, yet your interpersonal performance suggests a high level of insecurity and a tendency to avoid social interaction.

It is important to note that excessive pampering of children by their parents is not an act of love, but rather a form of control. This is because such pampering hinders children's ability to face life's challenges independently. Unconditional pampering is essential for children under the age of three, as it provides them with a sense of security. However, if parents continue to be the sole authority figures and do everything for their children after the age of three, or even when their children are capable of handling their lives independently, children may become accustomed to relying on their parents for everything, including making decisions about their studies. This is because children often lack the confidence to make decisions on their own, and they have not received sufficient training to develop this ability during their upbringing.

Parents who indulge their children excessively and take on all their responsibilities are satisfying their own narcissistic tendencies and demonstrating a lack of trust and respect for their children. It is understandable that parents are unaware of their actions, which leads them to believe that this is the optimal way to express their love for their children.

As children mature into adulthood, they must learn to navigate their professional and personal lives with a more mature perspective. However, they often find themselves struggling to do so, lacking the unconditional acceptance, encouragement, and support that their parents previously provided. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy, a lack of confidence, and an avoidance of social interactions to prevent being disliked or rejected.

It is important to ascertain whether your perceived introversion is a genuine personality trait or a self-defeating mindset that hinders your ability to form relationships. Identifying the underlying motivation behind your reluctance to engage in social interactions is crucial.

It is important to allow yourself to experience the natural emotions that arise in the process of personal growth. These emotions may include fear, uncertainty, and a sense of inadequacy. However, it is essential to understand that these feelings do not define your character. They are simply indications that you are still developing the skills necessary to navigate life's challenges. It is also crucial to communicate your needs to your family and friends in a transparent and courageous manner. This communication should include your request for support and assistance.

Do so despite your apprehension.

My name is Lily, the Q&A Museum's resident expert. I extend my warmest regards to you all.

Hello!

I understand your feelings. You're introverted, have poor social skills, and are not good at relationships. You want to know why. You're thoughtful and have listed your problems, which will help us sort them out.

Let's look at it together.

1) School: You were always a top student. You studied hard and listened to your teachers. You didn't get involved in things outside of school.

1. You said you were a nerd in junior high. This had an impact. If you participated in school activities, you wouldn't call yourself a nerd. A nerd is someone who doesn't talk, doesn't smile, and spends all day with a book.

2) Friend: Your primary school friend is probably to blame. She isolates you from other friends and makes you do things you don't want to. You found out in junior high school that she was in the same class as you again, and you cried several times.

2. You think your introversion is because of this classmate. She made you distance yourself from friends. She controlled you. You were in the same class with her in junior high, so she still affects you.

3. Why can't you say no to her? Have you tried telling her how you feel?

Why are you being bullied? Is it your fault or is there another reason?

There are many reasons for being an introvert. One reason is if you were bullied as a child. Did you do well in school? Did you participate in clubs? If you didn't, you might become less confident and more introverted.

5. Ask yourself. Be self-aware. If you lack confidence, work on improving yourself. If you have trouble socializing, try to find ways to make it easier. If you're introverted, don't worry. It's not a disadvantage. In fact, introverts are perceptive and careful. They're responsible and conscientious at work. Use your strengths to do the things you're best at.

Neither introversion nor extroversion is absolute. We are all imperfect. We must accept ourselves and know ourselves.

I hope this helps. I love you!

Good day, young lady. I can discern the confusion you are currently experiencing, and I offer you a gesture of comfort.

These experiences can be understood as a normal part of adolescent development, commonly referred to as "growing pains." I extend my support and encouragement with a warm embrace.

I believe you possess a high degree of self-awareness, which is commendable.

1.) Your introverted personality

The subject had a close friend in primary school. However, this friend would issue commands and display disapproving expressions if the subject did not comply.

In junior high school, you were unfortunate to be placed in the same class as this elementary school classmate, whose personality once again exerted an influence on yours.

Furthermore, this primary school classmate has caused psychological trauma. She isolated and alienated two of your best friends.

You have already extricated yourself from the influence of this primary school acquaintance and forged new connections in your second or third year of junior high school.

It may be hypothesized that the subject is still apprehensive about integrating into a social group, particularly in the event of encountering the same individual with whom she had formed a close bond during her formative years.

2.) The detrimental impact of psychological trauma on the individual

In the case of psychological trauma, it is imperative that the issue be confronted and addressed.

Otherwise, the adverse experience of establishing friendships during one's formative years will persist, rather than dissipate.

It has merely been repressed by the subject and stored in the subconscious.

In the future, when the desire to form new friendships arises, the negative experience will resurface.

Consequently, addressing the adverse friendship experience in the initial year of junior high school represents a methodology that not only addresses the immediate symptoms but also addresses the underlying cause for the female student.

3.) Recommendations

It is recommended that you seek professional psychological counseling, wherein the counselor can formally address your negative experiences with friendship formation in the context of junior high school.

There are two advantages to seeking assistance from a counselor.

One advantage of seeking help from a counselor is that they are better able to adopt a third-party perspective, free from the biases of a critical eye and an objective attitude. This allows them to provide advice that is more pertinent, useful, and constructive.

Secondly, the counselor can assist in the reconstruction of a rational outlook on life and values.

It is possible that, following the resolution of the psychological trauma associated with previous experiences of forming friendships, a return to a more extroverted and optimistic disposition may occur.

It is my sincere hope that the issue you are currently experiencing can be resolved in the near future.

This is the extent of my current thoughts on the matter.

It is my sincere hope that my above answer is both helpful and inspiring to you. I am the answer, and I study assiduously each and every day.

At Yixinli, we extend our warmest regards to you and wish you the best.