How do you get along with your colleagues when you offend no one but are still not accepted?

Hello, question asker! I can imagine it's really confusing and unsettling to be in such a work environment and to have such difficult relationships with your colleagues. I'm here to offer you some personal opinions that I hope will help you cope with your current situation.

It's so important to define your work boundaries. You need to make sure that your work results and contributions are recognized. If you feel belittled or bullied, it's really helpful to define your work boundaries and expectations, and how you want to be treated.

It's totally normal to feel like you could improve your communication skills. If you feel like others don't think you're being sincere, it might be helpful to reflect on how you express yourself and how you listen to others. There's always room for growth!

It's always a good idea to seek feedback from those you trust. Ask a colleague or friend for their opinion and advice on your interactions with others. They may be able to provide some useful feedback to help you understand how you come across in social interactions.

It's also a great idea to get to know your new supervisor. Even though he might talk behind your back, you can still try to have an open and honest dialogue with him. This is a great way to express your work goals and expectations.

If you're feeling overwhelmed or stuck, it's okay to seek help. You can talk to a career consultant or psychologist for more specific advice and guidance.

If, after trying your best, you still feel that this working environment isn't right for you, it might be helpful to think about the following:

What made you want to join this new company in the first place?

2. If you do decide to stay in this company, what will it bring you in the end?

I really hope my sharing can be helpful for you. I'm Deng Hong, a listening coach. Every voice in your heart is worth listening to with all my heart. Please feel free to talk to me if you need to!

Hello.

It's normal to take a while to integrate into a new company. You've only been there a month, so don't worry.

A group will accept a new person based on whether they are a social butterfly or a social phobic. The level of acceptance within the group also plays a role. I'm not sure how your relationship with your boss and colleagues was at your previous company.

I believe it will be similar to the current interpersonal relationships in the company. Our relationships with others are a result of our socialization, and they will continue to be shaped by that.

You understand that social interaction in the workplace is bound to result in conflict and tension. The workplace is a powerful arena, and conflict and friction are inevitable.

You will inevitably suffer from other people's criticism, even if you never speak ill of others behind their backs or to their faces. You always keep your distance and maintain a sense of boundaries in your interactions. You are known for your warm and polite manner.

You deliberately keep your distance, as if you deliberately avoid relationships. You want to avoid friction and being hurt.

You simply aren't the type to gossip about others behind their backs like other colleagues. That's just not who you are. You don't go along with the crowd because of other people's preferences or the need for an alliance.

You are being yourself in all sincerity according to your needs and preferences, and you are really great. You don't try to please others, and by concentrating on being yourself, you reduce self-consumption.

You have no close colleagues and despise them all. They are all snobs, bullies, and troublemakers.

You never show weakness, and that's another of your strengths. You refuse to stand by and let others bully you.

In the workplace, you must protect yourself, stand up for yourself, fight for your rights, and never show weakness. You can contact a psychologist to take an in-depth look at this part of yourself that you "hate" and see your own subconscious. This is the first step to making a change.

Since you started working here, you have tried to socialize over milk tea, exchange snacks, and discuss various topics. However, your colleagues have made it clear that they think you are faking your achievements. You have chosen to keep to yourself as a result.

There's nothing wrong with being independent. If others can't stand you, don't let them get to you.

You've only been here for a month, and you still have a lot to learn about the work and human environment here. Each colleague has different personalities and habits. Take your time to observe and learn. One month is just the beginning. Most colleagues have only just got to know you. It will take some time for everyone to get to know each other and become familiar with you.

In companies with a more complex human environment, it will take longer. There is no fixed deadline for this.

They love to gossip at the dinner table, but you don't engage in that kind of behavior, so you eat in silence. The person you were replacing has officially left, and today you are starting to face the work independently.

Your new direct supervisor is also a backbiter with a poor character. You will have to take your work more seriously and do your best to reduce the chances of being picked on by your supervisor and colleagues.

In any case, you must first do your job well and be fully competent in your work to stay in your position.

Of course, you need to build good relationships with your colleagues. You don't have to be like them and you don't have to hide who you are. You can still win over your colleagues. If you are yourself, your personality will help you to win the favour of your colleagues and superiors.

You are loved by the world, and you must love yourself.

Hello! I read your description and I can already tell that you're going to be a great addition to the team. It seems like you've only been working at your new company for about a month, and you're already noticing that everyone has a different approach to socializing. You're taking the initiative to socialize over milk tea and talk to others about certain topics, which is great! However, it seems like you're having a bit of trouble fitting in with the team. I'm sure you'll get there with a little more practice. You're also noticing that your social anxiety is a bit more intense than you're used to, which is totally normal. I'm here to help you work through it!

I can sense your state of mind!

Let's dive right in and talk about a few things.

1. It's amazing how what a person believes in their heart will inevitably be expressed in their behavior without them realizing it, and others can sense it!

2. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Some people focus on the weaknesses of others, while others are open-minded and accept everyone for who they are, seeing both their strengths and weaknesses. It's so much easier to get along with the latter!

3. No matter what kind of person you are, you love spending time with sincere and open people! This is a common characteristic.

Now for the fun part! Let's dive into your description and see what we can discover.

1. "My social concept is that backstabbing and friction are inevitable in the workplace." This is what you believe in your heart: backstabbing and friction in the workplace are the norm, and I must be careful not to be hurt by the workplace.

Your caution and lack of sincerity will definitely show in your behavior, and it'll be amazing to see how others notice it!

2. "Women can be just as backstabbing as men. Since I started working here, I've never backstabbed anyone, either directly or indirectly. I always keep my distance and maintain a sense of boundaries. I'm not sure if I'm just being enthusiastic and polite." This once again shows your cautiousness. You protect yourself by keeping your distance and maintaining boundaries, so you put on an appearance of enthusiasm and politeness. You may think you're doing a good job, but I'm afraid your words and actions will reveal it and let others sense it. On the other hand, you could choose to embrace your enthusiasm and politeness!

If you keep your distance and boundaries, it's not good for integration — but there's a better way!

3. "I've discovered that workplace socializing is an alliance of backstabbers and secret exchanges. I keep my distance from everyone, and I hate every colleague equally." You still believe that there are allies and non-allies in the workplace, and that the way to become an ally is to backstab and exchange secrets.

I absolutely believe that you can't talk about allies without goals and demands. The core of the workplace is the relationship between employees and the company (or the leaders and relevant departments representing the company). Everyone needs to collaborate for the company's goals and project goals. Allies that are detached from specific goals will not last long, and as soon as new situations arise, the allies may turn against each other. Therefore, keeping a distance from everyone is an approach based on self-interest. Of course, if you keep a distance from everyone, you will not be able to let others get close to you. With the goal of work tasks, and an attitude of sincere collaboration with everyone, you will definitely be able to integrate into the team more easily, and everyone will be able to feel it in every task.

4. "I look younger, and people don't think I have much professional experience, so I have the chance to prove them wrong and show them what I can do. Everyone seems to want to give me a piece of their mind and teach me a lesson, which is great because it means I can show them what I'm made of. I never show weakness either.

"This is your opinion, and it may not be the truth. The truth may or may not be like this, but your opinion at least shows your attitude towards others. With this attitude, you will be emotionally "not yielding," and you will show your prickly side, so of course it will be difficult to integrate. But that's okay! We all have different opinions and attitudes, and that's what makes us unique.

5. "Since I started working here, I've been socializing with them over milk tea, buying them drinks and snacks, and trying to strike up conversations. But people think I'm fake," because you have something you believe in your heart, so socializing over milk tea and striking up conversations must be for the sake of socializing. In fact, it's just being fake, so the eyes of the public are discerning and people can sense the insincerity. But here's the good news! You can change this. You can start being yourself and socializing with people in a way that is authentic to you. You'll find that people will appreciate you for who you are and that you'll feel more comfortable in your own skin.

6. "That's why I'm always on my own now. I've obviously offended no one, but others just can't stand me." If you always feel that others don't accept you, you will isolate yourself and keep to yourself, and this often makes others think that you like to be alone or are difficult to get along with. But there's no need to worry! You can easily change this by making a few simple changes to your thinking.

Including others not liking you, it is also your interpretation of certain events, which is not necessarily the truth. The key is still how you feel inside and how you interpret things. In fact, many times it has nothing to do with what others do – so you can focus on the positive!

7. "They love to talk about family gossip over dinner, so I just eat in silence." Relaxing over dinner is the perfect opportunity to chat about lighthearted topics, as long as you don't gossip about others behind their backs or label them.

8. "The new direct supervisor also loves to gossip behind people's backs and has a poor character." Since he is the new leader, it is difficult for him to have a complete and comprehensive understanding. But you know what? With time, you can gradually understand a person. So don't assume or suspect that he has a poor character. Instead, focus on the positive. Once you have such a view, it will definitely be reflected in your behavior, and it will be difficult for you to get along well in the future. So let's focus on the positive!

Absolutely! If he can be a leader, he must be good at something. I should definitely observe and learn from him.

And finally, the foundation of workplace relationships is work relationships! It's so important to start from the perspective of doing a good job and treating everyone with trust and sincerity. This is probably the best psychological state for integrating into a team. And while it's true that only a very small number of people in a work relationship can share the same interests and similar values and gradually develop into friends, it's still so worth it!

Absolutely! When there's no suspicion or self-seeking, and everything starts with work, there's no room for social phobia.

I really hope it helps!

Best regards!

Hello there!

After reading your description of the problem, I can't help but feel that anyone struggling in the workplace will inevitably encounter some confusion, pressure, and even setbacks in work and interpersonal relationships, accompanied by some negative emotional experiences. It's totally normal!

I'd love to offer you some advice that I think you'll find helpful!

The person who asked the question is feeling a bit frustrated at work and with other people. They say that even though they've been at their new company for a month, they still haven't been able to fit in with the team. They also feel like they can't stop people from giving them a hard time, and that everyone is driving full-speed ahead and giving them a hard time. They also feel like people don't like them.

This is totally normal in the process of career development. It's so important to think about how to accept setbacks and learn from them, rather than getting too caught up in negative emotions.

For instance, what could be improved in your workplace relationships, and what are you doing well?

Moreover, the things you described, such as "I feel that my social anxiety is too serious" and "I find that workplace socializing is only possible with backstabbing and secret exchanges," are just temporary value judgments and emotional expressions when you are feeling down.

It's so important to remember that the real workplace situation and social environment are often not what we think they are.

So, it's really important to take a good, close look at what's causing you to have setbacks at work or in your relationships. And then, you need to think about how you can avoid having setbacks in the future.

We all face temporary setbacks in the workplace and in our relationships with others. It's so important to remember to stay positive!

It's so important to have a positive attitude in the workplace and in your relationships with others. It can help you face challenges head-on, clarify your direction, and work to improve.

You took the first step by coming to the platform to find support and help. This can broaden your perspective, change your thinking, and give you some valuable and positive encouragement, help, and advice.

So, it'd be a great idea to also reach out to your family, friends, colleagues, and other people you trust to get more advice, support, and encouragement.

Given your current situation—having been in your new company for a month and starting to face work independently—it's a great idea to cherish and value your internal career development.

Your internal career is all about how your knowledge, ideas, experience, abilities, psychological quality, physical health, inner feelings, and other factors change and combine when you're doing a certain job.

The great thing about internal career development is that it's something you can control. You can achieve it through continuous self-exploration. This means you can focus on your own efforts, rather than worrying about what others think.

When you're ready to take the next step in your career, you'll have more choices in your work and in your personal life. You'll also be able to achieve great results!

If your internal career is lacking, it might show up as some career setbacks or failures at work, or maybe even as a bit of passivity in your interpersonal relationships.

So, I really recommend that you base yourself on your existing internal career development results, fully and comprehensively research your current position, major, and related career development, and make a practical and feasible goal plan or career development plan in accordance with the general direction of "survival first, then development; reality first, then ideal."

Then, break your plan down into a bunch of small, achievable, and attainable goals that you can work on one by one.

And when you achieve a small goal, give yourself a big pat on the back and a little treat to enjoy!

I really hope you'll pay more attention to your positive and advantageous side.

I really liked how you introduced the situations of "always maintaining a sense of distance and boundaries" and "I never show weakness."

I really believe that all of these things are worth persevering with, sticking to, and paying more attention to. Affirming and encouraging everything you already have is so important!

I really believe this is a very important way for you to get out of the influence of negative emotions.

I really hope these tips help you out!

Hello, question asker! I'm June Lai Feng.

There are likely several key factors involved in this situation.

First of all, everyone adapts to workplace socializing at different rates and in different ways. There is nothing wrong with maintaining your distance and setting boundaries. However, it may lead others to feel that you are distant and not open, which is not the case.

This particular work environment has a dominant social pattern that makes it difficult for you to fit in.

Second, you see gossip and secret exchanges in the team, which may be part of the team culture. Your lack of participation may make you seem out of place, but this is your space. You have a right to be here. This may reflect your sensitivity to and rejection of some negative behaviors, which is a normal reaction. However, it may also make it difficult for you to find the right way to fit in.

Once more, it's clear that your size and lack of professional experience are prompting others to act inappropriately, which is affecting your self-esteem and sense of self-worth. Your unyielding attitude is a form of self-protection, and it's likely conveying an unapproachable message, making it difficult for colleagues to establish close working relationships with you.

This has created a sense of distance from others.

Your attempts to bond with your colleagues through informal activities like milk tea socializing aren't having the desired effect. This is likely because this form of socializing doesn't fit with the team's culture or your personal expectations.

This can be frustrating and affect your confidence in socializing.

You try to engage in topic discussions with your colleagues, but the communication may not be effective due to a lack of common interests or topics, or because your participation is not natural enough. There may be misunderstandings or prejudices about how others perceive you, but it is also possible that some of your actions or performances have been misinterpreted.

You may currently view being alone as a way of protecting yourself, but this is not a sustainable approach. It will not help you to develop professionally or personally.

Furthermore, your new superior's behavior has undoubtedly contributed to the negative atmosphere in the team and affected your integration. This bothers you, but you must also consider how to better cope in this situation.

Ultimately, it's not as simple as saying it's a problem or not. We all face challenges in socializing at work. You've simply not found the most suitable way for yourself yet.

This does not mean you have a serious social phobia. It's more likely that you're simply uncomfortable and confused by the current situation.

Here's the advice you need to deal with it:

First, adjust your social strategy and understand the interests and habits of your colleagues. Then, find a more effective way to socialize. For example, if your colleagues like to discuss family matters, participate moderately to build relationships.

Second, demonstrate your professional competence. Show your colleagues that you are an asset to the team by performing your work to the highest standards.

Third, build trust. Share your experiences and opinions with colleagues at the right time and in the right way to increase interaction and understanding. Show that you are sincere and reliable, and establish a relationship of trust.

Then, reflect on yourself regularly. Understand your strengths and weaknesses in socializing, and adjust your behavior patterns accordingly.

Furthermore, don't concern yourself with what others think. Instead, focus on enhancing your own work ability and performance.

When dealing with your superiors, you can and should maintain appropriate respect while sticking to your principles and bottom lines.

Integrating into a new work environment takes time and patience, as well as flexibility and adaptability. Implementing the above suggestions will gradually improve your relationships with your colleagues. With time and experience, you will find a way to survive in the workplace that suits you and achieve better team integration.

Have fun! The world and I love you!

Dear question asker, Reading your words evokes the sense of engaging with you in person.

After a thorough examination of your account, it is evident that you are experiencing confusion. It appears that you have not offended anyone in the workplace, yet you are being subjected to a targeted attack.

Let us now turn our attention to this state.

You stated, "I have been in my new company for a month, but I still haven't been able to integrate into the team," and then proceeded to articulate your well-defined perspectives on social interaction. However, it appears that you have recently made another discovery.

You stated, "I discovered that workplace socializing is only possible with allies behind the scenes who exchange secrets with each other," and then you stated, "I don't get close to anyone and hate every colleague equally." This prompted several questions for me to consider:

1. What factors led to your decision to hold negative sentiments towards all colleagues with equal intensity?

2. What factors influenced your decision to join this new company?

3. Could you please elaborate on your previous work experience before joining the aforementioned company?

The aforementioned points are intended to convey that despite the presence of colleagues whose ideas may differ from your own, and while I comprehend your animosity towards your colleagues, the underlying cause of your description is your equal hatred of them, which merits our profound contemplation.

Subsequently, you stated, "I appear relatively young, and my colleagues perceive that I lack substantial professional experience, which impedes my ability to contribute effectively in meetings. I am frequently treated as a novice and provided with detailed instructions." It would be beneficial to examine this from an alternative standpoint.

1. The perception of limited potential is a function of the broader range of possibilities available to you relative to others. Youth is a significant advantage.

2. The perception of incompetence is merely a subjective assessment; ultimately, only the individual possesses the most authentic and intuitive insights regarding their professional capabilities.

3. Regarding the phenomenon of being "stepped on" and the necessity of education: It is important to recognize that everyone has the right to express their opinions. However, it is also essential to acknowledge that individuals have the autonomy to decide whether or not to be influenced by a particular opinion.

The aforementioned three points are intended to illustrate the underlying cause of your anxiety: you have assumed responsibility for issues that belong to others, and they have followed this path and projected a considerable amount of resentment. It is important to note that this has never been your problem.

It is my contention that your condition is not social anxiety, but rather a form of self-protection in social situations. It is understandable that one would not wish to remain cheerful in a social circle that makes them feel drained. However, it is important to recognize that we are born as human beings and generally have more than one social circle. Given that there is more than one social circle, there must be a support system that can provide strength. It is therefore crucial to cultivate closer relationships with the individuals within our support system.

It is therefore more worthwhile to prioritize how to get along with oneself than to consider how to interact with colleagues. Only when one is relaxed and comfortable within oneself can one more calmly deal with the impact of "colored glasses" in the workplace.

It is important to note that throughout the process, it is essential to remain true to oneself. The aforementioned responses and insights should provide guidance, motivation, assurance, and resilience for personal growth and adaptation.

I hope you are well and that we may have the opportunity to meet again should circumstances permit.

Hello. I was new to a workplace once too. Everything was new to me. I was nervous and couldn't sleep during lunch. I've been in your shoes. Let me share my experience with you.

1. Accept your emotions. It's normal to feel nervous, anxious, and eager to fit in at a new company.

2. Keep your own identity. You don't have to change to fit in. If you don't want to, you don't have to. When you have your own style, good people will be attracted to you.

Don't obey people who gang up together. They will take advantage of you.

? 3. You say you look younger, and others don't think you have much experience, so you can't hold your own. Plus, you're new to the job and everyone wants to give you a hard time. This is a very common phenomenon in the workplace. You can focus more on learning and show your abilities at critical moments. Don't be afraid of other people's prejudices.

If you're treated disrespectfully and attacked, you can leave for a better company.

Best wishes!

It is not unusual to require an adjustment period when starting a new position and becoming acquainted with a new work and social environment. The situation you describe is not uncommon in the workplace, but that does not mean it cannot be improved. Here are some tips to help you get along better with your colleagues.

Remain true to yourself and maintain your current approach to interacting with others. Set clear boundaries and don't alter your behavior to please others.

Treat others with sincerity and they will naturally perceive your positive intentions.

Take the initiative to communicate. Attempt to communicate with your colleagues proactively and become acquainted with them both at work and in their personal lives. You may choose to share some of your experiences and views, but there is no obligation to engage in idle chatter.

A simple greeting and smile can also foster closer relationships.

Demonstrate your professional competence. Even if you feel you are not as experienced as others, you can gain the respect of your colleagues by actively participating in project discussions, offering constructive opinions, and excelling at your work.

Avoid engaging in negative discourse: You mentioned that your superior engages in the practice of disparaging others, which is not conducive to a positive work environment. Attempt to refrain from involvement in such discussions and maintain neutrality and objectivity.

Furthermore, refrain from disparaging your colleagues in their presence, as this will reflect poorly on you.

If you feel unable to cope with your current social situation, you may wish to seek external support. You can talk to some experienced colleagues or friends for advice and opinions.

Additionally, you may wish to consider attending social events or training courses to enhance your social skills.

Maintain a positive outlook. It is crucial to avoid becoming overly influenced by the opinions and judgments of others and to focus on your own work and professional growth.

With time, you will become accustomed to this new work environment and social environment.

In conclusion, it is important to remember that everyone has their own pace and way of adapting to a new environment. It is crucial not to be impatient or anxious, and to believe in your ability to overcome these difficulties and succeed.

Hello, questioner! I can feel your confusion and unease at the moment, but I'm here to tell you that it's totally normal! We all hope to quickly integrate into the team and establish good relationships with our colleagues when we're starting a new job.

However, this process is not always easy, especially when you feel that you have not offended anyone, but still feel excluded and isolated. But don't worry! You can absolutely conquer this challenge.

I just wanted to say that I think your warm and polite way of getting along with a sense of distance is actually a very mature and decent way of socializing. It might take a little longer to build trust, but once it is established, it will be more solid and sincere!

I totally get where you're coming from with feeling young-looking and worried that your professional experience might be underestimated as a result. But remember, appearance is only one aspect of a person, and it's your abilities and performance that really determine your position in the workplace – so focus on those and you'll be absolutely fine!

You can prove your worth by constantly learning and improving your professional abilities—and you can do it!

The milk tea socializing and snack swapping you mentioned is a great start! Why not try adding some deeper exchanges while sharing? For example, while sharing milk tea, you can ask your colleagues about their interests and hobbies, or talk about recent hot topics. This can make the exchanges more natural and interesting!

I've got another great tip for you! Look for common ground. We all have things in common, like favorite movies, books, music, and more.

When interacting with colleagues, you can try to find these commonalities and use them as a starting point for conversation. This will not only bring you closer together, but also make the interaction more in-depth and interesting—and it's a great way to break the ice!

Regarding your social anxiety, I understand that it may make it more difficult for you to interact with your colleagues. But remember, everyone feels socially anxious sometimes, and it's nothing to be afraid of!

There are so many ways to relieve social anxiety! Try taking deep breaths, relaxing your body, and preparing in advance topics to discuss with your colleagues. You can also seek professional psychological counseling for more specific advice and support.

And finally, I'd like to say that getting along with colleagues is worth the wait! You can try to actively communicate with your colleagues, participate in more team activities, and demonstrate your abilities and value.

And there's more! You should also learn to listen to and respect the thoughts and feelings of others. This will help you establish a relationship of mutual trust and respect.

And there's more! Here are some more suggestions for you to consider:

1. Seeking feedback is a great way to improve! Have an honest conversation with your direct supervisor or a trusted colleague and ask them for their opinion on your work performance and interpersonal relationships. Their feedback may help you to gain a clearer understanding of your problems, and you'll be amazed at how much you can improve!

2. Get involved in team projects! Team projects are a great way to work with your colleagues and complete tasks together. You'll not only gain a better understanding of their working methods and habits, but you'll also show off your cooperative spirit and professional abilities.

3. Regular self-reflection: Every so often, take some time to review your performance in the workplace. Think about whether there is anything you can improve in your interactions with colleagues, and then make a concrete plan to implement it.

4. Join a hobby group or club: There may be hobby groups or clubs in the company, and you can join them according to your interests. This is a great way to interact with your colleagues and develop your interests and specialties!

5. Stay positive! It's crucial to keep a sunny disposition when you're facing hurdles and challenges. Believe in your ability to conquer any obstacle and build strong connections with your colleagues.

And don't forget to learn from your mistakes! You can constantly improve your abilities and qualities.

In short, don't be too anxious or self-critical. Getting along with colleagues is an exciting journey that takes time and effort. As long as you face it with sincerity and a positive attitude, I believe you will gradually integrate into the team and establish amazing relationships with your colleagues!

Come on! Let's do this!

Hello, I am Li Di☀, and I appreciate our meeting.

After a month at your new company, you have your own way of socializing at work to avoid unnecessary friction. This seems to be a way to protect yourself. Since joining the company, you have also tried to use milk tea socialization and other methods to integrate into them, but it hasn't been very successful. You are aware that others still have a view on you, and you are also distressed. You have decided to go it alone and have officially handed over, needing to face the work alone. However, your superior is also a person with a poor outlook, and you have many concerns about your future workplace. You feel very helpless.

Let's delve into the psychological mechanisms behind your feelings and needs together so you can better understand and accept yourself.

The challenges you mentioned in your new company reflect your deep-seated need for belonging and respect. It's only natural that when someone enters a new environment, especially a social environment like the workplace, they crave acceptance and recognition.

The behavior you describe as "backstabbing" and "secret exchanges" is a social strategy that may be seen in some groups as a way to build trust and intimacy. However, this is not the only or necessary way to integrate into a group.

Your choice to maintain a sense of distance and boundaries reflects your commitment to personal principles, which is very valuable. This commitment may sometimes make you feel isolated, but it also shows a strong sense of self-identity and self-esteem.

Your feeling of being "looked down upon" likely stems from the misjudgment of your age and professional experience by those around you. This feeling may trigger inner unease and anxiety, causing you to doubt your own value.

However, your actions—such as offering your colleagues milk tea, sharing snacks, and trying to join in the conversation—demonstrate your readiness to open up and connect. This indicates a strong inner drive to adapt and integrate, as well as a positive and healthy approach to building good relationships with your colleagues.

You're right to be concerned about social anxiety. It's a natural reaction, especially in a new environment. People often worry about whether their performance meets the expectations of others.

Don't let this fear stop you from building deeper relationships with others. Remember, this is a process, and everyone moves at a different pace and rhythm.

In the face of this situation, you must gain a deeper understanding of what your real social needs are. You may need more self-affirmation, and you must realize that even in the workplace, you don't need to adapt to others against your own values.

Seek out colleagues who share your interests or values to establish meaningful connections. Focus on improving your professional abilities and proving your worth through work results.

If you're still bothered by the current situation, talk to a counselor. They can provide personalized guidance to help you explore your feelings, develop a social strategy that suits you better, and boost your confidence.

Your feelings are valuable, and your efforts are appreciated. Everyone adapts to a new environment at their own pace. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Stay true to yourself. You will find your place.

I hope my answer is helpful. The world and I love you!

Thank you for your question.

I understand your confusion and frustration. When starting out in the workplace, everyone hopes to integrate quickly and establish good interpersonal relationships.

If you find that despite your best efforts, you still feel an insurmountable gap between you and the team, you may experience a sense of powerlessness and loneliness.

You try to get closer to your colleagues through milk tea socializing and snack swapping, but it doesn't seem to get the response you expect. Instead, it may be seen as pretentious. This is frustrating, but you know your intentions are good. You're not going to let this stop you.

At the same time, you are worried that your colleagues will question your professional abilities because you look younger than your years. This pressure can really take its toll, but you can handle it.

In the workplace, everyone wants to be recognized and respected by others. When you are ignored or belittled, it is difficult to describe the feeling. Doubt can set in about your value and suitability for the workplace.

This self-doubt and frustration is heartbreaking.

Let's analyze this phenomenon in the workplace together.

Let me be clear: workplace integration is not an overnight process. It requires time and patience. Everyone needs to go through an adjustment period to better integrate into a new environment.

You don't need to be anxious or self-critical. This is a normal process that everyone goes through.

You're right to be concerned about your social anxiety. It's a common problem that many people face in new environments. It's normal to feel nervous and uncomfortable when communicating with unfamiliar people in unfamiliar settings.

However, you should know that social anxiety is not an insurmountable problem. You can start with small attempts, such as actively greeting colleagues and asking questions about work.

You will adapt to this way of communication over time and become more confident and at ease.

Furthermore, you stated that your professional competence is questioned because you look young. This is a common prejudice, but it is incorrect. You do not lack professional competence.

In the workplace, strength is the most important measure. Prove your value by actively demonstrating your professionalism and work results.

You must learn to accept your own youth and inexperience. View this as an opportunity and motivation for growth.

Your relationship with your direct superior is a tricky issue. However, you should know that everyone has their own working style and personality traits.

You can get along with him, even though his words and actions may make you feel uncomfortable. Look at his actions from a positive perspective and be tolerant and understanding.

You must also maintain your own independent thinking and judgment and not be swayed by his words and deeds.

The problems you encounter in the workplace are not unique. Many people face similar challenges. You can overcome these problems with a positive attitude and patience.

You must also learn to adjust your mentality and strategies to better adapt to the workplace environment. It will take time and effort to integrate into the workplace, but if you persevere, you will definitely find your place and value.

✨

To better integrate into the team and meet the challenges of the workplace, you must do the following:

1️⃣ Keep learning and improving your professional skills. This is the foundation of your career. You must have sufficient professional knowledge and skills to complete your work tasks and win the respect of your colleagues.

2️⃣ Take the initiative to participate in team activities and discussions. This is an essential step in increasing your interaction with colleagues and gaining a deeper understanding of the team's working methods and cultural atmosphere. Through these activities, you can gradually find your position and value in the team.

3️⃣ Establish good communication habits. Learn to listen to the opinions and suggestions of others, and actively express your own views and ideas. Good communication is the foundation of good interpersonal relationships and the key to solving workplace problems.

4️⃣ Maintain a positive mindset and an optimistic attitude. You will encounter challenges and difficulties in the workplace. Face them head on with a positive mindset. You will find solutions and overcome them.

The workplace is full of competition and challenges, but it's also a platform for growth and improvement. If you maintain a firm belief and continue to work hard, you will find your place in the workplace.

Good luck, world. I love you.

Hello, my name is Zeyu, and I'm really excited to get to know you all better!

"How do I get along with my colleagues when I offend no one but am not accepted?" It's a tough one, isn't it? We're facing a problem that can be attributed to differences in social concepts.

It can feel like there are only two paths in front of us: either we cater to others and try to become one of the "ins" by backstabbing others, or we maintain the status quo and are isolated and resented. But there are other options besides these two paths! First, it's important to remember that there is no right or wrong in the social concepts we hold and the concepts others hold. There is no question of who is right or wrong, who is good or bad. Rather, it is about the shaping of people by the real environment and personal options.

It's a common social unspoken rule that we fit in with a group by imitating others. But this approach goes against our social ways, so we might feel a bit resistant to it. It's okay to have different opinions about our actions. What others say behind our backs doesn't matter; what we think and do is what matters most. Let's take a moment to reflect on why we come to work. Is it to socialize with colleagues or to improve our relationships at work? It's possible that we value these things more than we realize. If we can accept the status quo for now, we won't feel the need to change ourselves. As they say, time will tell. Instead of dwelling on these things, let's focus on proving ourselves through our actions.

It's totally normal to feel a bit nervous when you're in a new environment and trying to fit in with people you don't know. It's all about finding your own way and making the right choices for you. We can all learn to adapt to new situations and make the most of our time here.

Hello! I can imagine how frustrating and infuriating it is to have such a hard time fitting in. I'm sending you lots of hugs!

I hope I can ask you some questions. From past experience:

When I first joined the state-owned enterprise, I was just like you. I thought there was a lot of intrigue and whispering going on. As a result, because I love to ask questions, they thought I didn't know much, so I was often criticized. Every time I was criticized, I was upset and thought that they were criticizing me for the sake of solidarity.

However, I switched to a different outlet later on and was able to improve my performance somewhat, so they ceased their negative comments. Despite our differences, they were kind enough to assist me with certain tasks before I resigned, which I am grateful for.

I do still tend to keep to myself at work and don't have anyone I can really talk to. I just socialize with them at work, but they don't gang up on me behind my back.

I wonder if I might ask you a few questions based on my own experience.

Secondly, I would be grateful if I could ask you a few questions.

I hope you don't mind me asking you some questions. From past experience:

From past experience, I would like to ask you a few questions.

Could you please share some of the experiences that have led you to believe that workplace social relationships are mutually backstabbing?

Could you please share what emotions that experience brought out in you?

Could I ask your thoughts on this experience?

If you could go back in time in a time machine right now, you are sure you could have taken better measures to deal with it. Would you still have the same thoughts?

I wonder if I might ask you to consider the following:

If I may make a suggestion based on the behavior of your colleagues:

Could you please clarify what kind of behavior you think is called intolerant of you?

I wonder if I might ask what milk tea socializing means to other people. Is it perhaps a concept that is open to interpretation?

Could it be that employees at the lower levels who have not been promoted might perceive their supervisor as ambitious? Is it possible that they might feel incompatible with her, perhaps because of perceived arrogance? What are the advantages for her personally?

I wonder if I might ask you to consider the following.

From my own personal perspective:

Could you please tell me what it means to you to be a loner at work?

Could you please elaborate on what it means to you when they criticize you? Is it a sense of worthlessness?

Or perhaps there's something else I'm missing?

Could you please tell me what working independently means to you?

Could there perhaps be a way to enhance your professional abilities in order to overcome the emotions that arise from working independently?

I hope you will consider these questions, as I believe that awareness can lead to positive change. Writing down your answers may help you gain a different understanding of yourself.

I would like to suggest that perhaps we could try to identify some of the beliefs that underpin our emotions. It may be that we could then consider whether these beliefs are well-founded or not.

I hope that after identifying and writing down these emotions, you will consider these beliefs and reflect on what is well-founded and what might be deleted or changed. It's often not a problem with yourself, but rather the way you present yourself, which can influence how others perceive you.

Once you have undergone this transformation, you will see the world differently. Wishing you the best!