How do you think a group of close friends of the opposite sex who are afraid of being separated due to marriage and don't want to solve it internally?

I totally get it! Your description reminds me of my old friends and the last episode of "Friends." I've watched "Friends" several times, except for the tenth season, because I didn't want to see the friends go their separate ways. It was the end of an era, and it reminded me of my own time and that era.

Maybe you're feeling the same way—a mix of reluctance and sadness. But deep down, you know it's just a final act of stubbornness, and you're ready to face it head-on.

Friendships end, but new ones begin! It doesn't matter if I watched the tenth season or not. You'll all grow up and have partners, but you'll still be part of a circle of friends in real life.

This is not just a story of unity and determination—it's everyone's life! A fortress is breached from within.

It'll be tough to keep having all-night games, drinking, playing ball, playing cards, singing, and having a good bowl of noodles at the end of an empty alley at dawn. It'll be tough to keep receiving phone calls in the middle of the night and being yelled at at random. But it'll be great to be unconcerned about being mean to each other!

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And there's more! It's also about getting married and having a partner and even children. But it's also about the fact that each of you is on your own life path. And while each of you is moving forward, there are many times when you cannot participate but feel it together.

Everyone changes, becoming less familiar and intimate. And that's okay! Such changes and distances do not come from external causes, but from each of you, which is highly likely.

It is so wonderful that, even with all kinds of changes, such a circle, such a common story, and such a special time, is obviously bound to be a cherished memory and emotion for everyone! This importance to each individual is the emotional and trusting reliance and continuation amidst all subsequent changes.

For the de facto distance, there's no need to copy the previous model. For old friends, there's a better way! There's no need to worry that getting along together will change the intimacy and emotions between you. The important thing is that your feelings for each other are still the same as they were at the beginning!

We will all grow up, and it is impossible not to change. There is nothing to be upset about. If we can't goof off anymore, then we'll just have a normal routine; if we can't hang out and brag every day, then once a week, or once a month if we can't do it anymore; if we can't be reckless anymore, then we'll just let loose when we're with our old friends. And it's going to be a blast!

The great news is that the friendship between old friends can remain largely unchanged, and the feelings of each other remain the same!

Let it be, believe in friendship, welcome change, and stay true to your original aspirations! This unique era will come to an end, but the friendship between old friends can continue in the new era.

It's so great to see everyone again! But, oh my, time really does fly!

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I wish you all the happiness in the world!

Your doubts show you're anxious about this relationship. You know the laws of natural development and are afraid you can't change them on your own.

The law of development is dynamic, balanced, and dialectical. Your circle of friends is also in a state of flux, and it may not be as strong as you think.

Every circle is made up of individuals, and individuals are independent. A circle exists to meet common interests and needs. Similarly, individuals can get their own needs met in your circle.

Every individual is also growing and changing. If you want your circle to continue, you need to maintain the same frequency—similar personal experiences, personal perceptions, income, family, etc.

However,

If the development between you is at different frequencies, it will be difficult for the individual to meet their needs, and the circle will face a crisis. Let's be real, if someone in the circle suddenly wins the lottery, they're not going to be the same as everyone else.

People will adjust their goals and development based on their actual situation.

The above explanation is that the circle is dynamic, developing, and has needs and interests.

In this environment, you must focus on your individual status to prevent being eliminated by society. Circle culture must be managed. It is not easy to get along with others, and it has been going on for so many years. However, you should not do things just for the sake of the circle. Personal values are bound to change.

Good things are good, and bad things are bad. There's no stopping the natural laws of development. Trying to resist them is like a mantis trying to stop a car.

Socializing is a personal asset, and the individual is the foundation for development.

I am not trying to offend your understanding of the circle or your sincere emotions. If you are uncomfortable, please forgive me.

Hello, host!

Your description made me think of my circle of friends. I'm sure it can give you some ideas.

In high school, I also had a circle similar to yours. Not only were we classmates, but the circle of the few of us happened to be six boys and six girls. We were like-minded and close, and we made a conscious decision to maintain this relationship forever.

We are very similar to you.

As we grew older, we all went to university. Some went to the same university, while others went overseas or to universities in the same city.

We are from all over the country, and we promised to meet at least twice a year. When we reached marriageable age and had to think about getting married, we decided that it would be ideal if there were six men and six women in the group.

Ultimately, only one couple remained in the group. The rest of us found boyfriends or girlfriends and are now getting married.

You might be wondering if this circle still exists. It does. Our circle is still the same 12 people as before.

We lead our own lives, and when something is on our mind, we chat about it in the group. We still have a close relationship, and we are more like family now.

I'd like to know what you think this circle is like and how you maintain or view it.

What do you think of my example? I'm sure you have your own answer.

I am confident that the above will be useful to you, and I wish you all the best!

Good morning,

The act of liking someone or a group of people is an inherent human emotion. Emotions facilitate closer relationships, mutual understanding, and a gradual sense of dependence. This aligns with the natural progression of human emotions.

Given that emotions arise, feelings will be generated that are challenging to let go of.

We are all familiar with the concept of familial love, friendship, and romantic love.

These emotions are highly valued and, at the same time, pervade our lives, forming a robust foundation of support and affection.

Therefore, when individuals have formed fixed perceptions and stable relationships, but due to the demands and growth that occur at specific life stages, it is necessary to disrupt or restructure these elements. Initially, individuals may resist accepting this reality to avoid discomfort associated with the unfamiliarity of the environment.

Genuine emotions are transparent and unrestricted, founded upon respect for the other person's character and preferences. This implies respect for the other person's right to have different choices. Such relationships are beneficial and can facilitate mutual growth. At the same time, we should not feel an overwhelming burden in our hearts due to the choices we make at any given moment. When we make an unfavorable choice and require support in the relationship again, all parties can demonstrate greater tolerance, understanding, and apply it. This can result in a long-lasting relationship over time. This goes beyond merely maintaining the relationship on a superficial level and develops into a positive emotional connection that can provide the other person with affirmation and acceptance.

Please describe your views on the process of growing up.

This is the point at which individuals must confront the dissolution of their original environment once more. They must muster the courage and insight to establish and adapt to a new environment. While this may appear negative, it is, in fact, a testament to the opportunity for growth and the refinement of the mind.

Therefore, temporary sadness represents our willingness to cherish an important emotion, while reluctance to grow up indicates a preference for remaining in an individual state rather than returning to a familiar environment and welcoming a new and unfamiliar one.

I would like to make three suggestions.

1. Accept the "weakness" within and provide affirmation for this emotion.

Like a butterfly, it begins its life cycle as a caterpillar, then breaks out of its cocoon to become a butterfly. It comes alone, adapts to loneliness, and finally becomes a beautiful butterfly. It takes a long time of hard work and patience, but once it breaks through the bottleneck, it is free again.

Human emotions, similar to butterflies, often require the company of others to alleviate loneliness. However, after the excitement of a new venture wears off, one needs to adapt to loneliness again. This is because the "vulnerability" within amplifies anxiety, and we need to accept it in order to alleviate it. We can respond positively and agree with our colleagues' support, which will deepen our mutual feelings and allow everyone to benefit from this relationship.

2. Do not be afraid of separation, but instead, wish each other well.

The university environment is typically vibrant and supportive, but graduation signifies a transition to new paths, often evoking a sense of loss and mixed emotions. However, these positive experiences will persist as you embark on your next phase of life. While pursuing your future endeavors, you will find that the memories of these experiences remain with you.

Rather than exacerbating the sense of sadness due to a fear of separation, offering the other person your sincerest best wishes at this time will be a more complete and beautiful gesture.

3. Adapt to new developments and reintegrate yourself into the organization.

After graduation, it is natural to feel a sense of attachment and longing for the past. However, this is not the most rational approach at the moment. Due to the distribution of resources, in the period just after graduation or when you are new to a job, you often need to find resources rather than passively waiting for them. In this process, your comprehensive abilities in emotional regulation and judgment in handling things can be effectively exercised. This is a process of reintegrating yourself with the present self, and your cognition will also enter a new stage of perfection, so that you can challenge greater difficulties.

Conversely, opportunity is the opposite of difficulty. It is essential to address challenges with a clear and objective mindset to avoid being constrained by personal biases.

Best regards,

How should we look at it?

Hello, question asker!

After reading your question, I feel that your little circle is really lovely. You said that some of you have graduated for one year, and some for two years, but you have still formed such a wonderful circle, where you are all so sincere with each other. Friendship is really precious, isn't it? I want to ask you to give a big thumbs-up to the friendship in your little circle.

It's only natural that nobody wants to break something beautiful. You and the people in your little circle cherish it just as much as anyone. So, you had this kind of thinking one night, and that's why you came here to ask this question. I think this is something that most young people encounter!

I remember when I graduated from university, there were two really good friends of mine who really didn't want to grow up. They just wanted to maintain their friendship, and I totally understood! It felt so good, so innocent, but it's not possible. As the saying goes, "The sky turns and the earth moves." No matter if we want to or not, we always have to grow up.

As we grow up, we'll face many new challenges. You're right, having a significant other can bring up a lot of issues. Even if you work through them on your own, it might not be the ideal solution. Adding a new person to the mix can definitely lead to some difficulties. But, after the relationship changes, other uncertain factors might also arise. So, it's natural to have some concerns.

But we are worried, and things still need to be resolved and faced. I want you to know that since you have become aware of these things, I believe that you, my dear friend, will definitely handle this matter well.

I say this because there's a great saying in psychology: "Whoever suffers changes."

Who suffers seeks help? The answer is you! As long as you think about it, as long as you come here for help, you are actually on the road to healing.

I'd love to share my personal experience with you now!

First of all, it's so important to remember that the future is always a bit uncertain. It's natural to feel unsure about what the future holds, but it's also okay to embrace the mystery and trust that everything will work out.

It's just your little group of friends. In fact, even if it's not because of marriage, there may be all kinds of little incidents due to other things. We know that the future is really uncertain, and that's okay! What we have to do is prepare ourselves with a good attitude and accept all the uncertain things that happen. Only when our minds are relaxed and we are ready to accept all kinds of possibilities in the future, can we calmly deal with our own state.

Secondly, I think worrying about marriage affecting friendship is a bit of a worrywart, don't you? When we reach a certain age, we have to seriously consider marriage! Otherwise, how are we humans going to continue?

Besides, you never know unless you try! Lots of your friends might really want to join your group. If you don't try, how can you be sure that internal solutions won't add a lot of conflicts? It could really upset your friendship.

Finally, I just want to say, let everything happen naturally. Isn't there a saying like that? You can't force a flower to bloom, but a willow tree can grow quickly. Don't try to avoid anything in particular, but if a relationship develops, just go with the flow and be happy to welcome it, whether it's internal or external. Then, we can go on to cultivate new circles or expand the circle of your friendships. Your circle will change and develop in any case, and it's impossible to keep it the same forever.

I think you know that it is impossible not to grow up. I also think you should know that your more trusting friends are your true friends. They're the ones who'll stick by you through thick and thin. No matter what, you can't break the bond. If he has to overturn the boat of friendship for this, then I think he may have problems even without the intervention of marriage.

Anyway, my dear friend, I think you should just live life as it comes. Just let go and do what you want to do. Don't be afraid, don't overthink it, and don't overinterpret it. You can also feel like you're walking on a watermelon rind, wherever you go. Isn't there also a saying like that?

I really hope and feel that I can let you all be carefree and unburdened, and that the world and I love you!

I really hope and think that I can help you all become heartless and carefree, and that you never get tired of living. The world and I love you so much!