How much should I give as a gift to my high school classmates, and what if I give too much?

Hello, question asker!

It sounds like you're having a bit of trouble figuring out how to gauge the closeness of the relationship based on the amount of the gift.

The red envelopes in the wedding gift package are actually a matter of reciprocity, which is a lovely tradition!

You give someone as much as they give you, which I think is a lovely thing to do!

The gift was originally 200 yuan, but the students hadn't seen each other in a while. Even if they had known about the wedding, they probably wouldn't have been able to make it, which would have felt like they were being asked to return the gift money. So, they weren't told, and the previous gift was just left as it was.

So it's hard to say how many people will come to your wedding in the future, no matter how much money you pay them.

It sounds like you care a lot about face, and you are also worried that you are different from others. I can see how this difference might make you feel anxious.

It's totally understandable to feel this way! It's natural to think you have a great relationship with someone, even if you don't really know how close you are. And it's not easy to admit when you've made a mistake. I'm sure you'll be able to work it out with your friend.

It's totally understandable! We all want to save face sometimes, but it can lead us to do things that might not be the best for us. Is there anything else you've done like this?

Take a moment to think. Is face really that important?

If you give 200 more, the other person might not necessarily feel that your relationship is very good.

It doesn't matter how close you are, it's always 300. Unless the relationship is really special and you're happy for them, even if they don't return the gift or give a small one, you can give as much as you like. It's like your classmate gave 1,000 because they have a great relationship, but you don't really need it.

Good day, host. It can often be a challenging task to determine the appropriate amount to give as a gift.

If one provides an excessive amount, it may appear as though one is out of touch and may risk being perceived as fawning. Furthermore, it is important to recognize that no individual's financial resources are generated without some underlying source. Conversely, if one provides an insufficient amount, it may be perceived as stingy and insensitive.

The question of how to grasp this "degree" is, at times, a challenging one.

Indeed, there is a fundamental level of social skills that is typically anticipated in the local context, which may be augmented or diminished in accordance with the proximity to the host. It is advisable to simply do one's best. Interpersonal dynamics and the nature of friendships are inherently diverse, and there is no obligation to proclaim these to all parties.

The issue is not one of fairness, but rather the depth of one's affection for the host. Consequently, it would be beneficial to establish a general guideline for gift-giving in the event of other high school classmates getting married.

I was impressed by this girl in the front row. She and my future classmate had previously attended the same class together and had become close friends. I am not a particularly talkative individual, and I did not spend much time with them.

However, it is evident that a close relationship exists between the two, as they attend the same class on a daily basis, assist each other, and treat each other with kindness. The designation of "close friend" may be perceived as excessive, yet the rating of 300, which falls between the average of 300 and the maximum of 1000 for a close friend, seems to be an appropriate balance.

Given that humans are social animals, it follows that social relationships exist between you and me. Social interaction can be divided into two categories: effective and ineffective. In this context, effective social interaction refers to social interaction that can establish positive, healthy, and supportive relationships, which can make people feel happy, recognized, and encouraged.

In contrast, ineffective socialization refers to social interactions that do not effectively convey information, establish relationships, or meet personal needs, and may cause negative emotions. The host is a kind and generous individual with certain standards in their heart. When we have these basic principles clear in our minds, we should have much fewer troubles with interpersonal relationships.

Dear Questioner, I am grateful for your inquiry and will do my utmost to provide a comprehensive response.

First and foremost, I empathize with your trepidation and unease regarding the gift. In Chinese culture, a gift is not merely a matter of social etiquette; it is also a conduit for conveying blessings and best wishes.

The scenario you described is not an uncommon occurrence in life. When we attend a joyous event with friends or classmates, we are invariably confronted with the same dilemma: what is the appropriate monetary value to present as a gift?

It is understandable that you were uncertain about the appropriate amount to give when your classmate at the front table got married. You likely considered the implications of your gift: if you gave too little, it might be perceived as unkind and indicate a lack of friendship; if you gave too much, it could place undue financial burden on the couple or create an awkward comparison with other friends.

The decision to give 500 yuan is, in fact, a prudent one. It demonstrates a profound friendship with one's classmates at the front table while simultaneously circumventing the potential for financial strain.

Ultimately, the crucial aspect of social etiquette is the underlying intention behind the gift, rather than the precise monetary value.

Nevertheless, one might experience unease upon observing the disparate amounts given by other attendees. Concerns may arise regarding the appropriateness of one's own contribution and its potential impact on others.

This concern is, in fact, quite typical, as it stems from the universal desire to behave in an appropriate manner and to fit in within social contexts.

However, it is important to note that there is no need for undue concern in this regard. Firstly, it is essential to recognise that each individual's financial circumstances and living environment are unique, which naturally leads to variations in the amount of the gift.

This does not imply that one option is superior to another, nor does it suggest that one choice is more or less appropriate. Secondly, the value of the gift does not fully encapsulate the extent of one's benevolence and blessings.

The crucial factor is the sincerity of one's heart and the depth of one's blessings.

In the case of future wedding invitations from other high school students, the amount of the gift can be determined based on the individual's actual financial circumstances and the nature of their relationship with the couple. In the event that a close relationship exists between the giver and the couple, and if the giver's financial situation allows, it is acceptable to present a larger gift.

This will not only demonstrate your generosity to the newlyweds, but also illustrate the extent to which you value and care about them.

In contrast, if the relationship with the new person is mediocre or if one's financial situation is constrained, it is entirely appropriate to reduce the gift amount proportionately. This does not indicate a lack of appreciation or concern; it is simply a prudent decision based on one's actual circumstances.

Effective communication and interpersonal interaction are also crucial aspects of this process. If one experiences confusion or unease, it is advisable to confide in close friends or family members.

Such individuals may be able to provide valuable advice and support, thus assisting in the effective management of the issue.

Furthermore, it is important to note that one should not place undue emphasis on the opinions and evaluations of others in social situations. While the thoughts and actions of others are beyond one's control, one can exercise agency over one's own attitudes and choices.

Provided that the gift is given from a place of sincerity and generosity, and that the giver has a genuine sense of gratitude and joy, then the value of the gift is not determined by its monetary value, but rather by the emotional and spiritual benefit it brings to the recipients.

Furthermore, it is important to consider that in interpersonal relationships, individuals often prioritize the reactions and comments of others, while neglecting their own inner needs and feelings. It is essential to recognize that attention should be directed towards understanding one's inner world, identifying personal needs and expectations, and making decisions that align with one's values and current circumstances.

This approach enables individuals to confront social situations and challenges with enhanced confidence and composure.

Ultimately, it is my hope that you will be able to relinquish your concerns and attend social events, including weddings, with a sense of ease and contentment. It is important to recognize that your mere presence and blessings are gifts in themselves that are beneficial to the newlyweds.

The value of the gift is immutable.

Furthermore, it is imperative to reiterate the significance of sincerity and respect as cornerstones of interpersonal relationships. Regardless of the decisions one makes or the manner in which one conducts oneself, these two principles must serve as the bedrock upon which all interactions are based.

It is only through this approach that we can interact and communicate with others in social situations with ease, pleasure, and ease.

In conclusion, it is important to note that when dealing with the issue of gifts, it is crucial to avoid becoming overly entangled and distressed. Instead, it is essential to make a well-reasoned decision based on one's actual circumstances and relationship with the newlyweds.

Furthermore, it is imperative to maintain an attitude of sincerity and respect when confronted with the myriad of social situations that arise.

It is my sincere hope that this response will prove beneficial to you. May you find solace and enjoyment in future social interactions.

Hello, question asker! I totally get where you're coming from and I'm here to help!

In interpersonal relationships, the issue of gifts can indeed be a dilemma—and a fascinating one at that! It's not just a matter of a simple amount, but also about the expression of emotions, interpersonal subtleties, and social expectations.

The great news is that there is no fixed standard answer to the question of what amount to give! It is more of an expression of emotion and a social etiquette. Your hesitation and consideration show that you are a careful and emotional person who wants to give the utmost respect to others within limited conditions.

But remember, it's okay to listen to your heart!

From a psychological perspective, the amount of the gift is often related to our personal financial situation, the depth of our relationship with the other person, and the degree of importance we attach to the relationship. You want to find a balance that expresses your blessings and care without placing too much financial pressure on yourself, and you're torn between the two because you want to do it right!

I'd love to share a little story about gift money with you. When a friend attended a wedding, he decided to give 500 yuan, which was perfect for his financial situation and relationship with the bride and groom!

But when he learned that other friends had given 1,000 yuan, he was thrilled! He told himself, "I gave the amount I thought was appropriate. This is my blessing to the newlyweds and my own heartfelt feelings." This story shows us that there is no absolute standard for the amount of the gift. What's important is the thought and blessing we express!

So, how should you decide on the amount of the gift for you? I've got some great suggestions for you!

It's important to understand your own financial situation and make sure that the amount of the gift doesn't put too much financial pressure on you.

2. Take a moment to reflect on your relationship with the other person. Think about how close you are and how often you interact. If you have a close relationship, you can go ahead and increase the amount of the gift. If you're not as close, you can reduce it.

3. Think about what you really want and feel. Giving a gift is a great way to show how you feel! It's important to respect your own feelings and not ignore yourself just to please others.

4. If you're feeling unsure about the amount of the gift, don't worry! You can ask other friends or family members for their opinions, and then you'll have the final decision.

5. I'm happy to reassure you that true friendship will not change because of the amount of the gift. If your friend is unhappy or misunderstands you because of the amount of the gift, then it may not be true friendship.

So, go for it! Don't worry about what others think or expect. Trust your own judgment and choices.

And finally, I want to tell you that there are indeed some rules and etiquette in interpersonal interactions. But what is more important is sincerity and kindness! As long as we treat others with all our heart and respect their choices and feelings, we will be able to establish truly beautiful interpersonal relationships!

So, don't worry about gift-giving etiquette anymore! Trust your own judgment and do what you think is right! I wish you the best of luck in your future interactions!

Hello, I'm Strawberry.

We all have limited energy, and we simply cannot be fair to every relationship. We don't have the energy to manage every relationship carefully, so we choose the relationships worth maintaining and learn to say no appropriately in general relationships.

Interpersonal relationships are often confused by etiquette.

The original poster's former deskmate got married and invited the classmates to the wedding. Each classmate gave a gift according to the depth of their relationship with the other. The original poster had a better impression of this former deskmate, so the original poster gave a gift of 500.

On the day of the wedding of the person sitting in front of you, the questioner was unable to attend for a reason. The questioner asked the person sitting next to him to help bring the gift. After learning the amount of the gift, the person sitting next to you tried to persuade the questioner that, given the relationship between you and the person sitting in front of you, it would be fine to just give 300.

The questioner was certain that the money had already been transferred to the same table. He had spent time thinking about it before following the custom, and he was confident that it would not be changed. After all, his classmate would still take 300 yuan according to his wishes.

This has already happened, but the questioner is confused. He gave 500 yuan to the person sitting in front of him as a wedding gift. Does he need to follow this standard when other classmates get married in the future?

If there is no such situation, it's embarrassing to let other students know. You might even offend other students without knowing it. That's why maintaining interpersonal relationships is so troublesome.

I need to know how to handle relationships with people I don't often contact.

In the course of our lives, we encounter many relationships. We must acknowledge that the number of relationships a person can have is limited. Having too many relationships will only distract us from maintaining the relationships that are worth it.

☀️ Distinguish relationships: Even if we are classmates, the frequency of our interactions will lead to deep or shallow relationships with our classmates. We know that these seemingly similar relationships with classmates are not all the same.

We choose to associate with classmates and friends who share our values. When we are on the same page, it's easy to get along and feel close. Even if we don't stay in touch for a while, our shared values help us reconnect quickly.

The questioner should give the same amount in gifts because they are classmates. It would be unfair to the other classmates otherwise. We all know the saying, "A light gift carries a heavy meaning." A relationship that is truly worth maintaining will be happier to receive the questioner's blessings, rather than comparing whether they are in the same position in the questioner's heart or receiving the same amount of gifts. A relationship that is truly worth maintaining is also worth the questioner's effort.

☀️Measure in terms of relationships: When faced with a more connected interpersonal relationship, it is only natural to give the other person your blessings after learning of their good news of marriage. What bothers the questioner is the relationship that is not usually contacted, and when they get married, they inform or invite themselves. The questioner needs to show the same level of expression as in a better relationship.

We don't know what others are thinking or feeling, even when we don't often contact them. It's up to us to decide how to send our blessings. We have the right to say "congratulations on your marriage," "whatever you feel like doing," and whether or not to accept the invitation according to our own wishes.

The questioner can weigh the relationship and decide to give the other person their blessing. In relationships where there is no or little contact, it is simple to decline an invitation, and one can learn to say no appropriately.

☀️ Follow your heart. Being confused about what happened can lead to questions that elicit different perspectives and suggestions from others. This is a way to understand yourself and grow.

The questioner is having trouble because she is afraid of offending someone or making the other person feel uncomfortable.

"The Courage to Be Disliked" is recommended to the questioner. We cannot see through the minds and thoughts of others, and we cannot change the way others perceive and evaluate us. We live up to the standards in other people's hearts, and the other person may not necessarily feel satisfied because this is their own problem, not ours.

We can change ourselves, but we can't change others. Follow your heart. Protect the relationships you want to maintain. Don't care what others think or say.

I am confident that my answer will be helpful to the questioner. Best regards.

This is a challenging situation. It is akin to a mathematical problem with no standard answer, and one must consider the nuances of human relationships. However, it can be resolved, and doing so may provide a sense of resolution.

The purpose of the gift is to express gratitude and goodwill. The value of the gift is not the sole indicator of the strength of the relationship. You provided the individual in front of you with 500 yuan because you felt that you had a solid friendship with her. Given the mutual assistance you have provided each other in your daily lives, this was a decision you had considered and made. There is nothing inappropriate about it.

With regard to your friend Sui 300, it is likely that she has her own considerations. It is important to recognise that everyone's situation and thoughts are different.

Determine the gift amount based on your financial situation. Avoid making comparisons with others. The primary objective is to maintain a positive relationship, and friends should be able to understand.

When offering gifts, include a few brief, sincere words of blessing to convey your good intentions. In some cases, this may be more important than the value of the gift itself.

If there is a concern about potential misunderstandings due to differences in gift-giving standards, it is advisable to maintain a relatively consistent approach. For instance, for a group of high school friends, a suitable range could be set, such as between 400 and 600, with adjustments made based on the relationship with the recipient. If there is a genuine concern that some friends may feel uncomfortable, a private discussion could be beneficial. For example, an individual could inquire about the perceived appropriateness of a gift amount, based on recent knowledge of a friend's marriage. This approach not only provides insight into others' perceptions but also helps avoid potential misunderstandings.

This approach allows you to gain insight into prevailing practices and circumvent potential miscommunications.

Make decisions that you can live with. It is important to remember that relationships are complicated, but ultimately, each person is responsible for their own sense of happiness.

It is not necessary to be overly concerned with the opinions of others. Those who are truly your friends will understand and respect your decisions.

These "small annoyances" in interpersonal relationships are, in fact, an inherent aspect of the maturation process. Learning to strike a balance between one's emotional, financial, and social needs represents a significant challenge in itself.

Do not place undue pressure on yourself. Instead, follow your heart and allow time to reveal the outcome. Best of luck!

The question of the appropriate wedding gift is indeed a sensitive and complex issue in many cultures. The amount of the gift is often influenced by a number of factors, including the individual's financial ability, the depth of the relationship with the other party, and the cultural customs of the location. In light of these considerations, the following advice may be of assistance in addressing the situation:

It is essential to gain an understanding of the local customs pertaining to the exchange of wedding gifts. It is important to recognise that different regions have varying standards, with some areas generally requiring larger gifts and others tending to favour relatively smaller amounts.

An understanding of these factors will facilitate the formulation of a more appropriate decision.

It is important to consider one's personal financial situation and to ensure that the amount of the gift is within one's financial means. It is unwise to place oneself under undue financial pressure as a result of the gift.

It is important to assess the nature of the relationship with the other party. While the relationship with the individual seated at the table may be positive, it is possible that communication has been limited for an extended period and the relationship may not be as close as it once was. In such a case, it is not necessary to allocate a significant financial amount for the gift, to avoid placing undue financial burden on oneself.

It is advisable to refrain from making comparisons and increasing the value of the gift with the intention of saving face or engaging in a comparison with others. It is important to recognise that each individual's financial circumstances and relationship with the recipient are unique, and the decision regarding the value of the gift should be made in accordance with the individual's actual circumstances.

Should concerns arise regarding the discrepancy in the value of a gift to friends, it is advisable to communicate with the relevant individuals to clarify any doubts or misunderstandings.

It is of the utmost importance to remain sincere and kind, regardless of the value of the gift in question. A gift is a gesture of benevolence and a demonstration of care for the recipient, rather than a transaction or competition.

In the aforementioned situation, wherein a classmate is getting married, the amount of the gift can be determined according to one's own circumstances and the nature of one's relationship with the classmate in question. Should one feel that one has a more favorable relationship with the classmate in question, one may consider increasing the amount of the gift in a manner that is deemed appropriate, though it is not imperative to adhere to a strict parity with one's friends.

Each individual is entitled to their own considerations and decisions, provided that they remain sincere and kind.

In conclusion, interpersonal relationships are a complex yet crucial aspect of human life. When navigating these relationships, it is essential to maintain an open and inclusive mindset, while respecting the choices and decisions of others.

Concurrently, it is essential to cultivate the capacity to adapt one's mentality and expectations in a manner that facilitates harmonious interactions with others.

Hello, I'm Li Di. Thanks for talking.

After reading your description, I understood your thoughts, worries, and conflicting emotions about courtesy. A hug is something many people experience. It is something we should talk about.

Money can make social interactions more emotional. We might worry about what others think, feel pressure from social norms, or think about the consequences of our actions.

These are common social dynamics.

The "courtesy gift" you mentioned is a form of social exchange that involves emotional investment and the exchange of social capital. Your impressions of the people around you reflect your value judgments and emotional investment in others.

This emotional investment may lead to you thinking about your decisions in more detail.

Second, your decision reflects your understanding of social norms. You know the gift should reflect the relationship and be influenced by others.

You chose the $500 based on your assessment of the relationship and your respect and gratitude for your classmate.

Your inner struggle also shows that you're worried about being misunderstood or judged. This is because we all want to fit in and be approved of.

We want to be accepted by a group, but we don't want to be excluded if we don't fit in.

Your question about wedding invitations and gifts is about your long-term social strategy. You're thinking ahead and trying to maintain good relationships.

It's important to recognize that your feelings and concerns are valid. Try the following:

☆Ask yourself why you feel uneasy, what you are worried about, and what is an acceptable amount for the gift.

☆Emotional detachment: Don't let emotions influence your decisions. Think rationally.

Set a reasonable budget and stick to it. This helps reduce stress.

☆Communication: Share your thoughts with friends or family.

☆Self-compassion: Be kind to yourself.

☆Flexibility: The amount of the gift can be adjusted according to the situation.

Focus on the relationship, not the amount. Gifts are about expressing blessings and maintaining relationships, not showing wealth or status.

Your value is not just reflected in the amount of the gift. It is also reflected in your status as a good friend and classmate.

Everyone reacts and makes decisions differently in social situations. Your feelings and concerns are normal. You are already doing your best to balance the various factors.

You can find the best way to deal with these situations in the future through self-awareness and communication.

I hope this helps. Love, the world and I!

Hello, question asker! You're absolutely right—this isn't the first time you've had to figure out the perfect gift to give. We've all been in this situation countless times, and every time we get to decide: how much is the right amount to give? There are so many factors to consider!

1. Local customs and how much most people follow

2. The degree of intimacy with the person concerned

3. The frequency and method of moving around in the later stages

4. Now for the fun part! How much did the other person contribute last time there was something going on in your family?

5. Your own financial strength

6. Your own wishes

If it's the first time the two families have socialized, go with 1 as the average and feel free to fluctuate up or down according to 2 or 3. If there's been previous socializing, refer to 4. Remember how much was given to you last time, and give that same amount this time. If the relationship is particularly close, if your financial situation allows, and if you wish, then you can give a certain amount more than the amount given to you last time.

When you first start working and everyone's income is not high, you have the perfect opportunity to lower the amount according to local customs. Then it depends on how much most of your classmates follow, and you can just go with the flow. If you have been working for many years and everyone is following more, then you will also rise with the tide!

It's really quite simple! The more you do it, the easier it gets. Just give me what you gave last time, and I'll give you the same. Unless it's been years since you last went there, and local money customs have changed drastically, with prices rising and inflation running high, then it will go up!

And the best part is, you can just go with the flow!

And the best part is that no matter how much money you give, it's the feelings between you and the person you're giving to that are affected. So, you can just focus on the feelings of the person you're giving to!

If you're lucky enough to have a great relationship with your table neighbor and your finances allow, then it's really simple! Next time your table neighbor has something, you can also give 500. If you're worried that your table neighbor will be upset that you didn't give as much as the person before you, then you can also add a playful sentence when you give the red envelope: "My financial strength is still limited at the moment, but the gift is light and the meaning is heavy, so please don't mind!"

If you really have a good relationship with your tablemate, you can look forward to spending more time together in the future in other ways! You can buy each other food, give small gifts, or invite each other to dinner to show how close you are. This is what is meant by "3. The frequency and method of interaction in the later stages."

The strength of a relationship between people depends on so much more than the amount of the red envelope! It's about how close you are in real life, how often you see each other, and whether you can stand by each other in times of trouble.

And now for the fun part! It's time to give to other classmates with whom you have a general relationship. Just follow the crowd and give 300 yuan.

The above is for your reference. It may seem a bit complicated at first, but it's actually pretty simple! It all comes down to your heart.

The depth of a friendship is something only you know! Ask your heart how your relationship with this person is!

Managing a friendship is about so much more than just a monetary exchange or two! It's about being there for each other when we need it, offering advice, moral support, and companionship.

It's easy to add icing to the cake, but think of how challenging it is to send charcoal in the snow! Distance reveals strength, time reveals the heart.

These two sentences are perfect for testing the relationship between two people. As you grow older and gain more experience, you'll see that no rules or regulations can compare to the weight of these two sentences!

Savor it slowly, appreciate it slowly! Life is long, and it's about so much more than just treating people to meals and following etiquette. There are so many incredible things out there just waiting to be explored! Experience it with your heart, observe it with your heart, and enjoy the adventure of a lifetime!

Wishing you all the best!

Hello questioner.

Your question shows you are upset about the gift-giving incident and feel that relationships are difficult. I understand your confused feelings.

From your description, you feel that you gave too much because the friend at the front desk gave 300 and you gave 500. There is nothing wrong with this. Each of us treats marriage gifts differently. You can also give less if your financial conditions are not good.

I've been in your situation. I had a roommate in college who was just like you. I wrote the same amount. Our relationship wasn't close, and my boyfriend said I was too generous. I didn't think so. I considered the relationship, but then I'd regret it, thinking I shouldn't have given so much because the other person didn't treat me as a friend. I care a lot about being treated as a friend. I'm sensitive and pleasing, so my mood will change.

Now that I'm working, I don't keep in touch with my old friends as much. I only talk to a few close friends regularly. I don't care about the amount of money I give as a gift to my friends. A true friend is not defined by the amount of money you give them. If you're in trouble, they'll help you. Giving gifts is just a way of showing your appreciation. A true friend won't care if you don't give them a gift.

The questioner can now understand their emotions or what money means to them. We may care too much about what others think. If you think offending someone over 500 yuan is nothing, you still have to realize it for yourself. You can also read books, take courses, or find a counselor.

I hope this helps.