How should a 28-year-old man behave around such a leader and colleagues?

Hello, question asker!

I've read your question and I totally get where you're coming from.

You were just doing your job, but your leader criticized you for it. They themselves were not thorough in their thinking, but they blamed you for it. It's so unfair!

I totally get it. It really makes people feel uncomfortable.

I'd be delighted to offer you my perspective, and I hope it will be comforting and inspiring.

1. It's so important to take care of yourself emotionally, and at the same time, think about what you might need to adjust in yourself from this situation.

It's only natural to feel emotional when we encounter unsatisfactory leaders and colleagues.

At this time, it's really important to take care of yourself and your emotions.

I think it would really help you to understand yourself and see what exactly is making you unhappy.

You said it yourself: "It feels like no matter how much I do, it's all just my job, and if I don't help out, I'm in the wrong." What's the point of that?

Then, it's important to think about how you'd like to get along with such leaders and colleagues in the future.

Asking questions is a great way to do this!

I'm sure we can all agree that it's important to try to see things from each other's perspectives. When you did more work in the past, was it outside your scope of work?

I'm just wondering, when you did more work in the past, was it outside your scope of work?

Or could it be that the division of labor isn't as clear as it could be in your workplace?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Are you willing to do the extra work you feel you have to do, or do you do it to maintain good relationships with your leaders or colleagues?

So, what can we do to make this work for us?

2. It can be really helpful to try to see things from the other person's perspective.

I'm sure you'll agree that from our perspective, the other person is undoubtedly in the wrong.

Have you ever tried to see things from your leader or colleagues' perspective?

For example, they often offer to serve you rice, which is such a kind and thoughtful act. Could this also be a way of showing you friendship?

Even though you don't really care,

Have you ever had to say no or thank you?

In their opinion, do you also feel a little entitled? We all do sometimes!

It's so important to remember that whenever someone expresses dissatisfaction with us, it's not necessarily our fault.

Rather, they have expectations of us, and that's okay!

For example, your colleagues might expect you to help with the water pump, and your boss might expect you to do more.

You can always assess whether the other person's request is reasonable.

There are just a few little rules in the workplace, and we can all get along if we follow them!

For example, when we go to work, our main task is to do our job well, and we should do it with a smile!

Of course, we can refuse to do things that aren't part of our job description.

Interpersonal relationships in the workplace are based on work, and that's okay!

Or, to put it another way, a cooperative relationship is what we're aiming for!

What kind of relationship do you want to have with your boss or colleagues?

If you want to get along well with each other, it may be easier to make yourself happy by putting yourself in the other person's shoes, respecting them, and cooperating with them while maintaining your bottom line.

It's so interesting how what happens in the workplace is objective, but how we experience those events is totally subjective.

I'm sure everyone has their own take on what the other person did.

Who's right?

In a relationship, there's no right or wrong interpretation.

They're both just trying to express their needs, which is totally understandable!

I get the feeling you'd like them to understand how much you've done and how proactive you are.

And you didn't mention that your leadership was affected by your personal matters, etc.

It's so hard when you understand them but they don't understand you!

Sometimes, if we can put ourselves in each other's shoes and think about what we need, it can be easier to understand each other and keep our relationships happy and healthy.

3. Take some time to think about what works best for you when it comes to getting along with others.

We can't always change our leaders or colleagues, but the good news is that we can reinterpret our relationships with them!

If good relationships can bring you benefits, such as a good mood and good career development, then you might as well get along with your colleagues and supervisors more constructively!

You don't need to please others or put yourself in a difficult position. Just have a cooperative spirit, and you'll be fine!

Or, in the long run, how can you make yourself comfortable and what can you do?

I truly believe you will find your way, my friend.

I'm so happy we're getting to know each other! It's totally okay to have conflicts, and it's a great chance for us to show what we value.

It's totally okay to have conflicts. It's also a great chance for us to get to know each other better and show what we value.

Please, just share these!

Wishing you all the best!

Hello!

I get it. I understand your frustration, anger, confusion, and pain. Let's hug it out!

When we're out of sync with the people and environment around us, it can really weigh on our hearts. We might hope that the other person or the environment will change, but it can be tough to change the environment or the other person. What we can do is adjust ourselves, the way we deal with the environment and others, and see if we can use this to influence the way others treat us. That way, we can bring about a change in the entire mode of getting along, making it more harmonious and smoother.

Don't get bogged down in who's right and who's wrong. Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes.

It's safe to say that almost everyone believes they're right, so self-reflection is a valuable skill. Getting caught up in who's right and who's wrong makes it tough to make adjustments and changes, and it doesn't help much with solving problems. So, we can try to give up on something and judge it from a right and wrong perspective.

Everyone thinks they're right because they're in their own position and see things from their own interests. To get out of the right/wrong entanglement, you have to try to see things from the other person's perspective.

For instance, a leader should be able to make arrangements and expect their subordinates to follow them. But from the subordinate's perspective, it's a different story. They have their own lives and schedules, so why should the leader disrupt them after work? If the leader and subordinate only consider their own perspectives and don't think about the other person, it'll be tough to coordinate things.

If you consider things from the other person's perspective, you'll be more considerate and understanding. And changing perspective and position can help you see the light in many confusing situations.

2. Try to let go of your good intentions first.

This is how people interact with each other: give and you'll get something in return, trust and you'll be trusted, love and you'll be loved, hate and you'll be hated. This is the law of reciprocity in psychology.

From a sociological standpoint, interpersonal relationships are basically a kind of psychological relationship between people. This kind of relationship is formed during interactions with each other, is direct and perceptible, and contains a kind of value relationship.

There are lots of times when this kindness is about very small things. Sometimes it's not even in words, but just a body language thing, like a smile, a glance, a body posture, or a small favor.

Mutual benefit is a key principle of good interpersonal relationships. To have good relationships with others, you first need to be in a positive frame of mind towards them. This way, you can benefit each other and have a good, harmonious relationship.

3. Stay true to your principles and learn to be tolerant.

In fact, principle and tolerance are two sides of the same coin. Indulgent tolerance without principle is basically cowardice and connivance, which could get you into trouble.

So, you can set your own principles in your relationships, but don't be rigid about them. Be tolerant of other people's views. You can be reasonable and firm, open-minded and generous, and know how to handle things. If you do this, you'll find a good balance.

I hope Hongyu's reply helps you out. Thanks for asking!

Everyone has the potential to act as a source of inspiration, whether by asking questions or providing answers. By using words effectively, we can influence the hearts and minds of many people, and this is our shared strength.

Good day. I am a heart coach. I understand your frustration and anger. You are clearly in the right, but the other person's actions are unacceptable. An unsubstantiated accusation makes you feel disrespected and distrusted, and even like your good intentions have been taken for granted.

Take a moment to compose yourself and let's review the issue at hand.

1. Identifying the root cause of your anger is the most crucial step, as it allows you to understand your deeper emotions.

"Everything happens for my benefit." Adopting a positive and optimistic attitude toward people and situations allows one to recognize that even adverse circumstances can be turned to one's advantage.

In this instance, it is evident that the leader continues to hold you in high regard. As you have stated, you are an employee who is "equivalent to the deputy leader," which is sufficient to demonstrate your capabilities and sense of responsibility, as well as your standing within the department and in the leader's eyes.

It is a natural human response to become angry when our personal boundaries are violated or we feel hurt. The intensity of this emotion varies from person to person.

In this way, emotions are conveying a very important gift to you. It is important to recognize and acknowledge the underlying needs that are driving the anger. These needs often stem from a lack of recognition and affirmation from parents during childhood.

It is only by recognizing and addressing the underlying anger that we can facilitate growth and healing. Otherwise, the anger will likely resurface when faced with a similar situation.

2. Prioritize addressing your emotions before addressing the situation at hand. Maintaining positive interpersonal relationships is beneficial for your career.

It is unavoidable that friction and conflict will arise in any human relationship. This is because we are accustomed to viewing situations from our own perspective and applying our own values and feelings to assess another person or event.

It is evident that you are on vacation, yet your superior is preoccupied with personal issues, resulting in misalignment of communication. Your colleague is capable of handling the situation independently, and you are occupied, yet your superior holds you responsible for a lack of cooperation without fully understanding the circumstances. You are attempting to rectify the situation out of goodwill, yet not only is your effort unappreciated, but you are also accused of being selfish.

This situation has arisen due to a lack of communication and miscommunication. The adage "words are not clear without speaking" leads me to inquire as to how you would respond when a leader criticizes and blames you.

It is not excessive to express yourself directly, and it is not sophistry or quibbling. It is an emotional communication that conveys your views and feelings to the other person. You listened to him, and you also have the right to express your own attitude.

The key to effective communication is sincerity, respect, and trust. When these values are present, emotions can flow smoothly, goals can be aligned, and problems can be resolved.

It is my hope to provide you with a new perspective, to reveal the greater truth of things, to offer you more choices, and to express my love for you and the world.

If you wish to continue the communication, please click on "Find a Coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom of the page. I will communicate and grow with you one-on-one.