How should I guide a three-year-old boy who is unable to deal with negative emotions?

Dear Sir/Madam, I empathize with your predicament. It is indeed exasperating for parents when they are unable to effectively address their child's tantrums.

Firstly, it is important to note that tantrums are a normal behaviour, regardless of the underlying cause. In particular, when a child is very young, tantrums serve as a means of self-expression. With regards to the expectation that the child is capable of handling negative emotions, it is evident that they currently lack the capacity to do so.

Secondly, you indicated that your child is typically well-behaved. This suggests that the family's daily parenting of the child should be relatively meticulous, which is why the child behaves well for the majority of the time.

It is recommended that you continue to persevere in this endeavor.

Once again, when your child engages in a tantrum, it is recommended that you carefully observe the circumstances and the reasons for the tantrum. If the majority of instances involve a lack of fulfillment of a demand,

It may be the case that the adult in question would benefit from a period of introspection. If the child is able to achieve their desired outcome through the use of a tantrum, it is possible that the adult's response is what perpetuates the child's reliance on this behaviour. If this hypothesis is indeed correct, then a gentle but firm rejection of the child's unreasonable demands, coupled with a gradual introduction to more constructive ways of meeting their needs, may prove to be an effective course of action.

In conclusion, it is advised that further observation be conducted in order to discern any underlying patterns in the aforementioned situation.

It is my sincere hope that this information will prove beneficial.

Hello, I am Wang Li, a psychological counselor and a child psychological development instructor. You said that when the child's needs are not met, he will feel sad and angry, throw a tantrum, and try to hit people. You don't know how to guide him, but you can.

It is not uncommon for three-year-olds to experience negative emotions when their needs are not met. This is because at this age, they have not yet learned to control their emotions and do not yet have a solid understanding of what constitutes a reasonable need and what parents cannot meet.

First, parents must distinguish whether a child's needs are reasonable. For example, is the child hungry, thirsty, or unwell?

When a child has a reasonable need, parents should satisfy it. This makes the child feel loved and cared for.

Second, many children will still ask their parents for their needs in addition to having their reasonable needs met. At this time, the needs are the child's "need for unconditional love," which has nothing to do with the child's reasonable needs. For example, if a child has eaten a candy, and he still wants a second or third, then the parent should firmly but kindly ask the child through words, "Why do you still want candy?"

Let the child fully express his "excessive needs" and guide the child. Explain to the child why he is interested in candy. Then, guide his oral desire for instant gratification of candy to a dimension of "delayed gratification." He cannot get the candy, but he can talk about it and get it again on a certain holiday or birthday in the future. At the same time, parents also need to show an attitude: You have had enough candy today. I won't give it to you anymore. Eating too much candy will rot your teeth.

This principle must be upheld even if the child throws a tantrum or hits others. The child does not have a boundary in mind and needs parents to set one.

Dealing with a child's excessive demands is simple. Parents must prohibit the demands and set a boundary, but they should not prohibit the child from talking about the desire for the demand. In other words, maintain a desire for "delayed gratification."

I am confident that the above suggestions will be helpful to you. "The world and I love you!"

Hello, I am a Heart Detective coach. Everything is easy. I can see that your problem is that your three-year-old boy cannot handle negative emotions. How should you guide him? You have a three-year-old boy at home, and most of the time he is quite good. But he will cry and throw a tantrum for no reason.

You may be able to understand his sadness or anger, but you cannot accept his tantrums or even his attempts to hit people. You feel anxious about being unable to guide your child's emotions. I will answer your questions.

1. Understand the characteristics of children's physical and mental development.

The renowned developmental psychologist Jean Piaget conducted a seminal experiment called the Three Mountains Experiment, which irrefutably demonstrated that young children aged 2-7 are egocentric when forming judgments about things and are incapable of adopting the perspectives of others. In another experiment designed by other researchers, it was conclusively established that when the scenario is familiar to the child and the problem is straightforward for the child to comprehend, the child is able to consider the perspectives of others. This illustrates that the child is undergoing a process of transition from being egocentric to understanding problems. (From Lin Chongde's Developmental Psychology)

It is crucial to focus on a child's self-esteem, as it is the most significant aspect in their early years. A child's self-esteem is shaped by their parents' parenting style. Research has proven that parents of children with high self-esteem are typically warmer and more supportive, setting a positive example for their children and respecting their opinions. Conversely, children who are spoiled and raised with inconsistent parenting tend to develop low self-esteem.

Boys also tend to engage in more verbal and physical aggression than girls, due to gender differences.

The problem owner must learn to read books on child-rearing such as "Every Child Needs to Be Seen," "Positive Discipline," "Raising Boys," and "Seeing Is Loving." This is the only way to actively learn about the physical and mental development characteristics of children and understand the inner world of children. This will help you to more patiently and effectively accompany your child's growth.

2. Accompany your child and see their needs.

Every problematic child behavior is driven by a hidden need.

If a child cries and throws a tantrum for no apparent reason, this is an opportunity to observe and understand their needs. Record the times the child cries and throws tantrums, what happened before, changes in their expression and behavior, what they say and do, how the parents respond, and what the parents say and do. This will help you find the reason for the tantrum and solve the problem.

When a child's needs are not met, they may throw tantrums and hit others. It's important to determine whether they learned these behaviors from family members or other children. It's also crucial to understand whether the child's needs are met every time they do this, thus reinforcing their bad behavior. Finally, it's essential to examine how parents respond when their child's needs are not met.

Psychology has effective reinforcement methods that encourage rewarding positive behaviors and reducing rewards for negative ones. If you want your child to stop a certain behavior, you can use punishment or extinction methods, depending on the situation. Punish moderately or ignore bad behavior. If the child cannot get what they need from this behavior, they will change it.

It is crucial to express love for children promptly to prevent them from feeling bad and unloved due to punishment and neglect. These are bad behaviors, not the child's fault. When a child is emotional, it is essential for the parent to remain calm and be there for the child, supporting them through the crying and tantrum period. Once the child stops throwing tantrums and hitting others, the parent should give the child a hug and a reward. This process is also a test for the parent.

3. You must accompany your child's growth through play.

The process of parents accompanying their children as they grow up is also a process of self-growth. In the parent-child relationship, we can see our own unmet needs as children. The process of growing up with our children is also a process of growing up with that inner self, a process of relearning to love and respect.

Play is the best way to accompany children as they grow up. Children present their own thoughts and needs in play, and the mode of interaction with others is also the mode of interaction with others in the future. Parents who accompany their children in the game more often can guide children to actively engage with others, meet their own needs in a more reasonable way, teach children to learn to share with others, how to respect others, and how to respect themselves. At the same time, children also feel the attention and attention of their parents in the game, and children will feel love, and self-esteem will slowly form.

Playing with children is an important part of their development and a great way to open up their minds. It is a waste of time to think otherwise.

Scholars of psychotherapy have confirmed that play has the effect of healing children's hearts. Sandplay in psychotherapy is a suitable form of therapy for children and adults alike. It allows patients to express their inner feelings freely through sand and molds, effectively presenting the world of their subconscious mind. This form of therapy is highly effective in treating a range of psychological issues.

I am confident that the questioner will overcome their distress soon, learn and grow, and become a better companion for the children. Best of luck.

If you want to communicate with me further, click below to find a coach to interpret, choose Heart Exploration to accompany and chat, and communicate with me one-on-one. I wish you the best.

Good morning, I am contacting you today on behalf of the original poster, who is raising their child with great care.

After reviewing your account, I am pleased to inform you that the child's emotional state appears to be largely stable. This indicates that the child's emotional resilience remains strong, and it is likely that the mother and family have provided him with ample attention and affection.

A three-year-old boy presents a unique set of circumstances when it comes to these two points of information. The first thing that comes to mind is the "terrible twos," a term used to describe the developmental stage of toddlers between the ages of two and three. During this period, children begin to develop the ability to take care of themselves, and their desire for independence can often be stronger than that of adults.

Children may resort to exaggerated actions and words, such as hitting and yelling, to mask their feelings of insignificance and vulnerability. They may also experience internal conflicts between their desire for independence and their limited abilities.

Additionally, he must confront the internal anxiety associated with separation. On one hand, I desire independence, yet on the other, the anxiety surrounding the separation from my mother has left me without a clear solution.

It is evident that during this period, even without external pressure or frustration, the child's internal struggles and the challenges posed by his own developmental processes can already impede his ability to adapt, leading to feelings of anxiety, panic, and restlessness. Consequently, the child in question may be experiencing these emotional outbursts due to his own internal conflicts.

I empathize with the questioner's concerns. The questioner is concerned that if his emotions cannot be expressed effectively, his position cannot be made clear, or if the act of hitting persists, it will affect his development. The questioner is also concerned that perhaps such a son will not be welcomed among his peers and educators, and will suffer as a result. I can sense the love behind the concerns.

The questioner can understand the child's emotional state and empathize with their feelings. At the same time, we also want to maintain our professional composure and provide guidance in a constructive manner. This can be a challenging balance to strike, as it requires navigating two opposing forces that can create tension and fatigue.

It is also important to consider our own state and allow ourselves a separate space and time before providing care for our children. Parents can act as a stable source of support for their children, regardless of their emotional state or internal conflicts.

When a child is upset, it is helpful to create a safe space at home where they can release their emotions. Staying by their side, providing physical contact, and offering comfort can help them feel less alone. Once they have calmed down, encourage them to express their needs verbally. This allows us to understand their specific requirements and meet their needs appropriately, demonstrating the value of verbal expression.

It is important to be aware of instances of physical aggression. Children at this developmental stage may have difficulty forming relationships with their peers, leading them to resort to direct actions like hitting to gain attention and establish connections.

Another possibility is that his emotions suddenly build up and overwhelm him. In such an instance, if he hits an adult, we can first gently but firmly control his body and then wait until his emotions have stabilized before asking him what is wrong, what he wants to express, and how he feels.

Once he begins to express himself verbally, it is important to provide timely affirmation. This could be something like, "I understand what you need and what's wrong. Mommy and Daddy are happy to see you expressing yourself," and so on. This will reinforce positive behavior.

A child's growth is a process of repeated exploration and continuous adaptation with parents. Therefore, it is important to allow yourself to respond naturally, embrace a 60-point motherly approach, and accept that mistakes are an inherent part of the parenting journey.

I recommend the series of books Understanding Your Child by Tavistock Clinic, published by Qianwan Psychology. This series can help us gain a deeper understanding of the universal laws of children's growth and development, as well as provide guidance on effective parenting strategies.

In conclusion, while it is important to love our children, we must also ensure that we take care of ourselves.

I'm grateful to have had the opportunity to connect with you.

From your description, I can tell that you are a very responsible parent who is eager to solve this problem and help your child learn to manage his emotions. I am also a mother of three children, and I would be happy to share some parenting tips with you if you think they might be helpful.

It is important to remember that boys are naturally energetic and have a lot of strength that they want to use. When they are dissatisfied and emotional, they may be more likely to explode.

It is often the case that more males than females are perpetrators of domestic abuse within a family. This may be attributed to the innate gender characteristics of men. It is therefore often recommended that children engage in more physical activity to channel their energy in a constructive manner.

Secondly, it is not uncommon for a three-year-old to have difficulty managing their emotions. It would be beneficial to inquire with the guardian about their emotional stability and ability to regulate emotions. The guardian's personal example can play an important role in this regard. It would be helpful to teach your child to express their emotions in a reasonable manner and to verbalize them, rather than resorting to crying and screaming. Additionally, it is worth considering whether the elderly in the family tend to indulge the child. In some cases, children may ask for something and then get the elders to give in by crying and screaming. Is this a common occurrence in your family?

If you feel comfortable doing so, you can also express to your child that you understand how frustrating it can be when you can't have something you want, and that it's okay to feel angry and upset. You can then suggest that you can accompany your child through this difficult feeling, but that you can't give them what they want right now because you've made an agreement about it. You can then suggest other ways to comfort your child, such as going somewhere comfortable to eat something delicious together, or playing with them for a while.

Mommy (or Daddy) loves you very much, but may not be able to accept your crying and tantrums. It would be helpful to remain calm, patient, and stay with your child through this emotional experience. This will help him understand that he can cry and vent his emotions, but that crying and tantrums cannot solve problems.

It is also important to note that hitting is not permitted. You can provide your child with a sense of security and comfort by hugging them. It is also crucial to avoid punishing your child by demonstrating the behavior of "hitting."

It would be beneficial to accompany your child as he learns to manage his emotions, and to accompany him as he reads some relevant picture books to learn about emotions. It might be helpful to let him think about the act of hitting from the perspective of the bystander to realize the impropriety of the act of hitting.

It is often observed that children are born with a kind and gentle nature. However, when they display aggressive behavior, parents may benefit from taking a closer look at their own actions and attitudes.

I hope my answer is helpful to you. I wish you the best!

It is important to understand the personality traits of young children. It is normal for a three-year-old to have difficulty dealing with negative emotions. Many adults also have difficulty dealing with their own negative emotions, let alone children. While adults may not make a big fuss, if they are depressed, it can be quite serious.

It is important to accept your child's emotions. Emotions have cycles, with highs and lows. As adults, we have likely experienced emotional cycles before. There is at least a name for the spring sadness and autumn sadness, but sometimes we are just inexplicably sad or happy.

This is simply a matter of human physiology. Some people are more overt than others in displaying these emotions.

It may be the case that something else has diverted his attention, which could explain why it is not obvious. Once the task is completed, the emotional low may have passed, which could mean that it is not obvious to him.

It is also worth noting that young children may have a more limited capacity to understand and regulate their emotions. Their attention is often focused on their immediate needs, and they may experience disappointment when these needs are not met. Their expression of difficult emotions may also be more intense.

It would be beneficial at this time to accept the child's emotions and provide gentle comfort.

It would be beneficial to consider the emotional cycle of children in daily education and instill rule education. By paying attention to the emotional cycle of children, parents can be prepared for when their child may be at a low ebb, or take them to do something happy to distract them and help them to cope with the low ebb in a peaceful way. If this is something that is challenging to grasp, then instilling rule education in daily education could be a helpful approach.

This rule is not necessarily a black-and-white truth. Rather, it is about how to handle a situation when it arises.

It would be particularly beneficial to agree with the child on various situations and use rewards to strengthen his emotional management skills. When he handles it well or makes progress, it would be helpful to give him a reward. When he handles it badly, in addition to emotional comfort, it might be best to avoid giving material rewards and to refrain from satisfying his material needs that lead to unmet emotions. However, you could consider taking a step back and giving a small encouragement.

Once the child's emotions have calmed down, it would be beneficial to offer praise or a reward in a timely manner. While a reward of some kind is still appropriate, it might not be the one he initially desired. Adults should demonstrate respect and provide a detailed explanation as to why they are unable to meet his request at this time.

If the child accepts and calms down, you may wish to consider finding opportunities to reward the child in the future. This could help to ensure that the child will not necessarily be so willful in the future. You may also wish to encourage the child to express their emotions, while also encouraging them to learn to control their emotions.

It is important to remember that both expression and restraint are processes that can be trained gradually. It is not possible to control them freely, and children are even less able to do so. A loving and tolerant approach will help children feel more secure.

In the event of strong emotions arising, I would like to share my personal experience in the hope that it may be of some help to you. 1. Gently comfort your child by hugging them to let them feel your love and kindness.

Then, with kindness and patience, explain to the child why you cannot meet his needs for the time being. 2. If the child becomes upset, I usually wait for him to calm down, give him some space, and encourage everyone in the family to continue with their activities. Once he has had time to process his emotions, I allow him to change and clean up before engaging in a calm and constructive conversation.

3. If the child's request can be partially met, it might be helpful to negotiate and discuss with the child. If he accepts it, that's fine, but if he completely rejects it and just indulges in his own thoughts, it might be helpful to consider whether you usually give your child everything he wants, so he doesn't have the concept of delayed gratification.

It would be beneficial to consider that delayed gratification is an important means of cultivating self-discipline in children. For children who are more straightforward, it may be helpful to try to distract them.

This may not be the best approach. On the positive side, it can help to relieve the child's immediate anxiety.

It is worth noting that children who are easily distracted may face challenges in their academic pursuits in the future.

It would be beneficial to establish long-term planning for education. As education is a responsibility that falls on parents, it would be helpful for parents to plan and implement the development of their children in a systematic and consistent manner. Regardless of circumstances, children will likely thrive. Especially for first-time parents, it is natural to feel uncertain, but it is reassuring to know that with effort, children will be fine.

It is therefore likely that the future of the child will be shaped by the efforts of the parents today. I hope this is helpful.

Hello!

If a child's needs aren't met, they may throw a tantrum or hit someone. How should we guide a child's emotions? Let's talk about it.

It's normal for a three-year-old to cry and scream when their needs aren't met. Most children will throw tantrums and hit others. But it's not right to call these emotions negative.

A child's brain is still developing, so it is normal for them to have trouble controlling their emotions.

Children's emotions and behaviors are instinctive. This will help you not to feel too anxious and to pay less attention to your child's behavior. If you feel upset, let him cry.

Then try to understand your child's feelings. Let your child express his or her needs and grievances.

Ask, "Is there another way to solve the problem?"

Empathize with the child to get him to replace bad behaviors with good ones.

You can also empathize with your child's emotions first and then express your needs as a parent. For example, you could give your child a choice to solve the problem or distract their attention with something else.

Or go play with the other kids? (Tell them what they like.)

Some psychologists suggest a calm corner at home for children to go to when they get emotional. However, I think children are too young for this. Parents can set a good example when they get emotional.

If you're crying and it's annoying me, I'm going to go to the calm corner.

Three-year-olds are starting to develop good habits. They want to do things by themselves. If parents teach them patiently, they will learn what to do and what not to do.

I hope this helps.

Best regards!

Hello, I'm Gu Yi. I'm a pretty modest and unassuming person, and I try to stay true to myself.

It's so important to understand the reasons behind your child's behavior.

From what you've told me, I can see that you're a wonderful mother. You're able to accept your child's emotions and also step in to help with some of the more extreme behaviors. Compared to other parents who might be a bit more indulgent, you're really very rational. It's so important to face problems head-on and tackle them head-on.

A three-year-old's vocabulary is still growing, and their language skills are still developing. This can make it a bit tricky for them to express their feelings, especially when they're feeling overwhelmed. They might not realize that their behavior is a bit excessive, but that's totally normal!

The people around the child or the things the child can access, such as watching cartoons, will have a certain influence on the child's behavior and expressions. It's so important to observe the child from the perspective of an observer to understand the root cause of the behavior and then provide guidance.

Just a little bit of guidance and advice.

It's totally normal for kids to have emotions! We just need to let them have them and then accept them. It's also important to guide them in recognizing different emotions. These can include happiness, sadness, anger, frustration, and more.

And finally, show your little one how different emotions look when they're expressed. This can help to prevent some of those extreme behaviors we all know so well!

It's also a great idea to make a few small changes to the child's living environment and the things they watch on TV, like making sure they don't watch too many cartoons with negative or violent themes. You can also help them learn to get along with others by being a good role model and encouraging them to interact with other children their age. Children are very imitative, but they don't always understand why they're doing something. So, it's important to guide them and show them how to interact with others in a positive way.

It's so important to help children recognize and express their emotions. When kids feel comfortable sharing their feelings, they're less likely to act out in extreme ways. So, when we're guiding and teaching kids, it's essential to focus on developing these abilities.

Warmest regards!

Our three-year-old boy is usually good, but sometimes he cries and screams.

I understand he's upset or angry, but I don't accept tantrums or attempts to hit.

Hello, parent. Your child throws tantrums when something happens, even to adults. It's distressing, right?

As a mother of four, I feel strongly about this! When children are good, they are angels. When they are annoying, they are like little devils.

Sometimes, there's nothing we can do!

The child is crying and screaming for no reason. What do parents do?

1. You say you understand his sadness and anger. Can you accept his behavior unconditionally? Have you taught him how to express this emotion?

We explain to the child that tantrums and hitting are not the right way to express anger. There are better ways to express anger without attacking others.

If a child hits another child, we want to stop it.

We slap the child to stop the hitting. The child may stop hitting for a while, but may wonder why we can hit but not him.

If your child hits someone, you can say they can't eat their favorite food or watch cartoons. When they do it, you have to make them stop. This shows them that hitting is not allowed.

2. Also, see where your child learned this behavior and if the people around them act inappropriately. Actions speak louder than words.

3. Emotions can be switched. Try to understand your child's needs more and give him a sense of security. Letting your child's emotions flow is what helps him grow up healthy!

4. Education is provided before age 6 and after age 6. Be understanding when communicating with your child. They still need guidance.

Children at this age need their parents' approval and encouragement. When children have their own ideas, try to understand them.

I hope my answer helps. Being a parent is not easy, but you learn as you go along!

I hope my answer helps and that you and your child get along better. Being a parent is not easy, but you learn as you go along!