How to cope with others' evaluations of me during conversations when they may hurt?

Hello, I'm happy to answer your question and hope that some suggestions I offer will be helpful to you.

It might be helpful for you to consider seeking the assistance of psychological counseling to help you better understand yourself and regulate your interactions with others.

It would be beneficial to start by paying attention to our emotional state in a timely manner.

In the course of daily social interactions, if we find ourselves facing external factors that cause fluctuations in our emotional state, it may be helpful to seek the guidance of professionals.

Secondly, during the course of psychological counseling, we have the opportunity to learn some appropriate communication skills, as well as how to improve self-confidence, cultivate courage, and dare to express our own feelings.

Finally, we can work on improving our cognitive abilities.

It would be beneficial for us all to understand the importance of setting boundaries in our social interactions. For instance, it is crucial to maintain the privacy of our personal development at work and in our personal lives. In the context of classmates or colleagues, it is acceptable to maintain a certain level of confidentiality.

If friends, classmates, or colleagues inquire about topics we prefer not to discuss, we have the option to decline.

Depending on the situation and circumstances, we may choose to decline.

For instance, if we are aware that certain individuals are primarily interested in engaging in conflict, derision, or didacticism, we might consider responding with a simple, "That's not my concern."

I would like to reassure you that this will not affect our interpersonal relationships. It is not us who is damaging the relationship, but the other person, who doesn't want to get along with us.

If it's other students around you, and they're asking out of concern or curiosity, but we still don't want to talk about it, we can say that we're still figuring out the best way to handle this, and that I'll share when I've made up my mind and sorted it out for myself.

As a general rule, adults are usually able to understand this kind of expression and are unlikely to want to talk about it.

If you feel it would be helpful, you can simply say no.

Perhaps it would be helpful to say that I'd prefer not to talk about this matter at the moment, or that I feel it's a private issue and I'd like to keep it that way. We can always talk about other topics instead.

It would be helpful for us to take some time to think about our own sense of boundaries. Once we have done so, it might be beneficial for us to be firm about our boundaries. If someone crosses our boundaries during social interactions, it could be helpful for us to express our refusal clearly and to try not to be disturbed by the other person.

We hope that with the help of professionals, you will be able to better regulate your emotional state, find a way to improve that suits you, and socialize better.

I would like to express my love for the world and for you!

Hello, question asker. I can see you're feeling confused, and I'm here to support you!

Your issue now is related to how you see yourself.

As you said, you can't control what other people say or do.

Your difficulty in accepting negative comments from others may be related to your upbringing.

It's possible that when you were growing up, your parents kept saying that you weren't good enough or outstanding enough.

If you're constantly exposed to that kind of influence, you'll start to think you're a bad person.

You also have to admit that you worry about a lot of things, you don't like to take criticism, you care what other people think, and you don't think highly of yourself.

If you want to be less affected by what others say, you need to be more confident.

Three years ago, I started teaching myself psychology on this platform. Reading more psychology books broadened my horizons.

But three years ago, I started teaching myself psychology here on the platform. Reading more books on the subject really opened my eyes.

When I learn something new, I feel more confident and less influenced by other people's opinions.

So, how can you avoid letting other people's negative comments affect you?

It's about boosting your sense of self-worth. I'd suggest making a list of things you think you've done well.

When you complete a task, treat yourself to a little something. You can also say three times out loud in the mirror every morning after waking up: "Come on, I'm the best; I'm an excellent person."

"

If you practice these positive self-suggestions every day, you'll become more confident.

If someone asks you about a job interview in the future, you can say, "I don't want to talk about that today. I suddenly remembered that I forgot to do something today." Then you can take the opportunity to leave.

I really hope you can resolve the issue soon.

That's all I've got for now.

I hope my answer is helpful and inspiring for you. I study hard every day, and I'm happy to help.

Here at Yixinli, we love you and the world. Take care!

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