How to deal with a mother who has a lot of negative emotions and negativity?

Good morning, Thank you for your question. Best regards,

After careful review of your inquiry, it is evident that this is a pervasive issue that affects a significant number of individuals.

I would be pleased to discuss this further with you and hope it will prove enlightening.

1. Re-evaluate the concept of loneliness.

Loneliness is a subjective experience of isolation and alienation from others or society, rather than an objective state.

I am curious to understand how you experience loneliness.

Please indicate whether you are open to receiving the love of your friends.

Additionally, do you have any reservations about your own worth, for instance, in the eyes of your friends?

When we perceive loneliness as a negative state, we tend to seek external validation and support.

This is a typical requirement.

Additionally, it may be beneficial to set aside time for introspection and self-reflection to gain insight into the underlying causes of loneliness.

Please indicate the date on which you first observed that a friend's simple greeting provided you with strength after days of depression, loneliness, and powerlessness that nothing could ease.

Do we feel secure in our position?

Do you believe that you are loved and accepted, even if your colleagues do not have as much time for you?

Do you have a sufficient sense of self-worth in the context of your professional activities?

It is possible to evaluate oneself objectively, without relying on the opinions of others or material things.

For example, you are not in a position to provide them with anything. The care and affection you offer them is of intrinsic value.

Your contributions are equally valuable to them.

The connection between you is of intrinsic value.

When we can attempt to view loneliness from a different standpoint, despite the discomfort it may cause, it can also provide us with the freedom to take many actions. During this period, we may find ourselves less inclined to pursue romantic relationships.

2. Regarding intimacy and attachment.

When we lack the requisite inner strength, we are, of course, willing to allow others to satisfy our needs.

The love and companionship that others provide is often perceived as being more beneficial than our own sense of comfort.

Furthermore, it is important to recognize that we can both provide attachment to others and form attachments with them.

By establishing the other party as a reliable source of support, it is possible to create a similar sense of security for oneself.

When we are immature, we tend to rely on others for self-care.

By way of illustration, this may manifest as a desire for love and companionship from others.

In psychology, self-care and self-compassion are skills that can be developed.

Caring for oneself is often more challenging than caring for others.

For instance, if an individual wishes to be loved, it is essential to first recognize their own worthiness for such affection.

When an individual lacks self-love, they will consistently seek external sources of love and validation.

3. Cultivate self-love.

While everyone is aware of the importance of self-love, many are unsure of the best ways to achieve it.

To love oneself is to be aware of one's inner needs, to understand oneself, to accept oneself, and to affirm oneself.

For instance, what are your reasons for seeking a significant amount of external validation?

Please describe the specific issue you are facing.

It is possible to replenish mental energy.

It is important to learn to love yourself and to affirm your own value.

An individual's level of confidence is not solely determined by their abilities or perceived standing. Rather, it is influenced by their self-perception and self-esteem.

When we provide ourselves with unconditional support, it is beneficial to have the support and encouragement of others. However, if this support is not currently available, we can still achieve a sense of fulfilment and positivity.

First and foremost, it is essential to believe that you are inherently complete.

Should you be interested, you are invited to read "I'm Really Great" and "Parenting the Inner Child."

It is important to remember to take a gradual approach to growth.

I wish you the best of luck!

Hello, host! I'm smiling!

After reading your description, I totally get what you're asking! I'm sending you a virtual hug in four dimensions!

From your description, I can see that your father has played a big role in your mother's development into her current state. This has led to your mother's unique character, which has only intensified over time. Because your father's behavior hasn't been resolved from the beginning, it has gradually made your mother take the dominant position in their interactions. This has led to a dynamic where the relationship between the two genders is not equal, but rather has a hierarchy, with your parents in an active position and one in a very passive position.

You are so observant and insightful! I admire your courage in trying to help your family change. It will be challenging, but if you keep at it, you will see some amazing changes in your family. It just takes time!

Your mother's current situation is also your father's responsibility, which is great because it means he can help shape her personality! After all, the quality of a relationship depends on both partners, not just one. So, to a certain extent, your father is also a key figure in shaping your mother's personality today. I think you also feel deeply about this, which is why you wrote about some of your father's characteristics.

In your description, you mentioned that your mother always says critical things, which shows that she cares about you and wants the best for you. Although what she says hurts you a lot, at the same time, these words also hurt her. Maybe this way of expressing is not right, but she has not really experienced an appropriate way to comfort others, so she used an extreme way to comfort your father. Although the words are harsh, it shows your mother's concern for your father, which is a good thing!

I've also put together a few tips to help you out of this pickle! I really hope they help ?

(1) Take a deep breath and relax! You've taken the first step by becoming aware of your current situation. Now, don't worry too much. You've got this!

(2) It's time to start communicating with your mother! Expressing your thoughts and feelings is the best way to start. Instead of repressing your feelings and thoughts, share them with her. For example, you can say that there are some things she does that make you feel a certain way. This will help her understand you better and start a positive dialogue.

(3) You can also communicate with your father and tell him what actions you hope he will take. You can appeal to his emotions and reason with him, rather than asking him to continue doing things the same way as before and not make any changes. This is a great opportunity for you to work together with your father to find solutions that will benefit everyone!

(4) If conditions permit, you can try family therapy as a way to better resolve problems, rather than just letting the family develop as it pleases. It's a great way to work through things together!

(5) Get together with your family more often to talk about things and find common ground. This will help you understand each other better and avoid misunderstandings. Communication is the key to a happy family!

The world and I love you so much! ?

Wishing you the very best!

Hello! I'm thrilled you're seeking assistance.

I really hope that my sharing can give you some support and help!

It's so important to understand that emotions are neither good nor bad, right nor wrong. And here's the really exciting part: behind any emotion, especially negative emotions, there are hidden unmet expectations and needs. So, behind mom's more negative emotions, there must be unmet expectations and needs that you get to try to perceive and explore!

It's amazing how a person's treatment of others is influenced by how they are treated by others! The mother's treatment of the father is a great example of this. She lacked the empathy, understanding, and care that a wife should have for her husband. It's likely that he didn't receive much emotional or emotionally powerful support from his father in return. She was expressing her anger at not having her inner needs met and responded to well. She chose to treat her father in the way he treated her. Of course, he must not have been very aware of this part of himself.

It's also possible that in her upbringing, her parents always expressed their concern for each other in this way. They obviously cherished a deep love for each other, but in their words and actions, they made the other feel strongly neglected, uncared for, and hurt. And when she has not been very aware of the way her parents handled their intimate relationship when she was growing up, she will instinctively choose the way her parents handled their intimate relationship to deal with her own marriage.

As a family member, you can make a huge impact by giving your mother more acceptance, understanding, and support behind her emotions. When she feels loved and accepted, she'll be more open to trying new things and making positive changes. When she's having a temper tantrum, you can take the opportunity to express your true feelings and guide her towards using words to record her emotional feelings. This will help her to better understand her needs and explore new ways of expressing them.

I'm Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum! The world and I love you!