How to recover the good mood from the sadness of a recently ended friendship?

Hello, I'm Lin Yile. Reading your words, I was reminded of an anime image of a girl in the third year of junior high school. It seemed that everyone else was in groups of two or three, and her solitary figure carrying her schoolbag evoked a sense of compassion and a desire to offer her some comfort.

I met three good friends after junior high school, but after breaking up, I deleted the contact information of two of them. It's important to remember that ineffective breakup-i-cant-help-but-remember-my-exs-comments-on-me-during-socializing-how-can-i-get-over-the-shadow-3912.html" target="_blank">socializing cannot help each other grow together, or it is a relationship that makes you feel negative. Breaking up is a very correct way to handle it. For example, you said that one of them, you have had conflicts more than once, and every time you quarrel, you touch your anger point. It's understandable that you don't understand your friends, but at least good friends still need to get along with each other in a good way in order to better manage and maintain their friendship. In this situation, you gave a thumbs-up to the quick and decisive action of cutting the Gordian knot and breaking up with inappropriate relationships in time.

It's understandable that you don't regret deleting your friends, regardless of who initiated the breakup. You're in a position to make changes that will nourish your own growth and happiness. Stepping out of that circle is an opportunity for you to evolve and become the best version of yourself.

I believe you are also someone who grasps the broader context. While it may seem inconsequential to a student, a friend did not remove a message because she was your group leader. Collaboration remains essential for daily group assignments, so your decision was well-founded.

If I might offer some advice, it would be:

In the coming months, it would be beneficial to focus your energy on studying, aiming to gain admission to a reputable institution of learning. This will ensure that you are in a position to achieve your full potential. While fostering good relationships is also valuable, securing a place at a leading school will undoubtedly bring its own set of rewards. What are your thoughts on this?

It would be beneficial to create a study plan for the upcoming months. Being lonely can be a positive experience. It's time to embark on a journey.

I would like to share a story with you that I have heard from a friend. It is a true story, and I hope it will be of interest to you. My friend fell in love during her second or third year of junior high school. She then stopped studying hard and suddenly said that no one should contact her. She ignored everyone, and there were only 100 days left. She finally got into our best high school. When she grew up, she learned that 20 years ago, her mother said that it would cost 20,000 yuan to pay for her education. She said that if she did not get in, she would pay for it. If she did get in, she would give her the money to spend. My friend has become a very famous lawyer.

I hope my answer provides some guidance and reassurance. Best of luck!

Dear Question Asker, Thank you for your question. Best regards, [Name] [Title]

I empathize with your situation, but from your description, I detect a hint of guilt and discontent.

First, you met three individuals with whom you formed a strong bond during your junior high school years. While your relationships with other students in the class were more superficial, you developed a close-knit group of friends. However, conflicts and disagreements were inevitable during this period, and the unpleasant experiences with two girls left a lasting impact.

Subsequently, one of the girls approached you yesterday to discuss the situation, which indicates that the relationship has already cooled down. Consequently, you will not contact each other after junior high school. She proposed to end your friendship today and deleted you as a friend. This action of your friend makes you feel suddenly and uneasy because most of the arguments between you ended with her apologizing to you and you giving her some small reasons.

Ultimately, due to the unanticipated circumstances she has presented, you begin to reassess the dynamics of the relationship between the three of you. You discover that you are not as close with the other two friends as you had assumed, and in fact, these two classmates appear to be particularly close and familiar with her. Consequently, you gain a vague understanding of the attitudes of the other two classmates towards you.

You presented yourself with a multiple-choice question: who would you choose between her and another classmate? You determined that the result was "her," so you chose to take the initiative to withdraw from this "small circle." You deleted the friend with whom you had had a conflict, leaving only a classmate with whom you had no reason to delete as a friend.

[Analysis]

The decision to delete the friend was made in a moment of confusion and emotional agitation. The expectation was that the other party would not propose to end the relationship, despite having previously expressed a desire to end the friendship.

As a result, you will feel abandoned. In your subconscious mind, you are the active party, and the other person wants to be on good terms with you. Now it seems that she is choosing you instead of you choosing her, and in your conscious mind, you are in a passive position. In order to regain the initiative, you will delete a friend with whom you have had conflicts but who has not proposed to end the relationship with you.

As stated in your description, no accusations were made against the other party. Instead, a neutral observation was made, which was not in your favor. This could be considered a form of self-reflection.

You are a kind and fair-minded individual, but you have a tendency to maintain a haughty attitude in your relationships. You have a clear sense of boundaries and value friendships, but you are hesitant to engage in more emotionally intense relationships. This may result in a lack of active involvement in certain relationships, but it does not indicate a lack of value placed on the friendships you do have.

In consideration of maintaining a positive public image, you are reluctant to take the more assertive approach to resolve the situation.

You have positioned yourself in relationships as the "beloved" and are reluctant to disrupt the image others have of you by acting like the "lover."

It is important to remember that while we are focused on our own thoughts and emotions, others are also processing their own experiences, ideas, and feelings. When we become overly absorbed in our own thoughts and emotions, we may inadvertently neglect to consider the perspectives and emotions of others, leading to a self-centered and potentially flawed logical approach to problem-solving.

The precise circumstances are unclear, and the above represents a personal assumption and idea.

My recommendation is as follows:

1. Gain clarity on your true objectives. Determine whether maintaining this friendship aligns with your core interests.

2. Prioritize your studies as your most important task at this time.

3. Should the matter remain unresolved, a productive conversation with the relevant individual is recommended. This discussion should be conducted with a clear and objective perspective, free from emotional influence.

4. Life is a long journey, and the road ahead is long. You will encounter more suitable friendships or friendships where you can confide in each other.

Best regards,

Dear OP, I'm Peilv, and I'm here for you!

First of all, I'll give you a big, warm hug ?

? I can see you're feeling a little troubled by the recent changes in your friendship group at junior high.

I'm really struggling to get over the loneliness caused by the broken friendship.

——Data Interpretation——

The questioner said that recently, I broke off with a few close friends from junior high school. During the time you have been friends, there have been times when the friendship between you and one of your friends has been in crisis, but you have both resolved it in your own way. However, this does not seem to have made your relationship better. The more times it happened, the more tired and annoyed you felt, so you decided to gradually distance yourself from her.

Yesterday, she suddenly took the initiative to propose to you to sever ties, which took you by surprise, but you accepted the outcome. From your description, I get the feeling that you are a friend with relatively strong opinions. When faced with a choice, you have your own decision-making power, and once you make a decision, you will not dawdle or hesitate.

It seems that your relationship with her alone has indirectly affected the relationship between the four of you, resulting in the current situation where you have lost three friends at the same time. I can imagine this must feel really lonely and confusing for you right now, especially as you're not sure how you're going to get through the rest of your junior high school life.

I see your situation and I totally get how you're feeling right now. I'm here for you, I give you a warm hug! You're not alone now.

Let's take a look at what might have caused this.

Since we left home and entered school, we've been lucky to have the company of our friends. We've studied together and made progress together. We've also had the friendship of fellow students, which has been a great support.

It's totally normal to feel a little sad and upset when you're suddenly separated from someone you care about. But it's also important to remember that it's the feeling of being alone that makes you feel a little uncomfortable.

My dear friend, I hope this message finds you well. I just wanted to drop you a quick line with some personal advice.

You've got this! Focus on your studies.

We all know how it goes. You break up with a friend and suddenly you feel lonely. But don't worry! You can fill that void by focusing on your studies. Take back all the time and energy you used to spend on friends and invest it in the rest of your exam preparation plan. Focus on improving yourself and striving to become better. You've got this!

"If you bloom, the butterflies will come."

It's so important to learn to relax!

And don't forget to relax! There are so many ways to have fun in your free time. You could read, listen to music, grow flowers, take care of small animals, watch movies, or do crafts.

It's a great idea to develop hobbies!

It's a great idea to set aside some time to cultivate your interests and hone your skills. You could try learning to play a musical instrument, learning a foreign language, or taking up painting. These interests will not only enrich your horizons, but they'll also encourage you to make more like-minded friends and improve the quality of your friendships!

Be patient with the imperfect world, but don't be too hard on yourself. We all have our flaws, and that's okay! - Carl Jung

I'd like to leave you with my motto, which I often use to remind myself that none of us are perfect and that everyone has shortcomings. But we often love ourselves more, so let's love others as we love ourselves!

?

The world and I love you so much!

The end of a friendship can undoubtedly lead to a certain degree of emotional distress. It is understandable that we may feel a sense of loss and disconnection. We have invested a great deal of ourselves and energy into this friendship, and it can be challenging to accept that it has come to an end.

It's possible that in the past, you may have encountered situations where you felt your needs weren't being met or that your contributions weren't being respected. Over time, these experiences may have led to a build-up of frustration, which eventually manifested in the current situation. It's also understandable that one of your friends tends to argue with you more frequently than the others.

While it's natural to have differing opinions and engage in discussions, it's important to recognize that constant arguing can be exhausting and may eventually lead to a slowdown in the relationship. It's not necessary to have a minor disagreement every day or a significant one every five days.

While the other person may offer an apology, there may still be a sense that they won't change. It's possible that other friends may also feel that there is a rift in the relationship. It's also possible that one friend may have already left, and the others may be able to sense subtle changes.

Given that you are still in junior high school, it might be advisable to focus on your studies for the time being. It's possible that there are still some unresolved issues and feelings that you need to address. When the time comes to graduate, you may find that you are able to talk things out and part ways amicably. Life is not a waste of time, as the gathering and parting of friendships also requires mutual recognition and management. It might be helpful to go with the flow and try to maintain a positive outlook.

Could I ask you a question, ZQ?