How to stop being overly concerned about others' glances and subtle movements, and to move beyond being vulnerable?

It is important to understand that introversion is not a defect, but rather a personality trait. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. Introverts may be better at thinking and observing, so it is not helpful to compare yourself to extroverts.

One possible way to become less sensitive is to accept your own character traits.

It may be helpful to find someone or a group of people who can support you. This can help you better understand yourself and provide support and encouragement. You might consider joining interest groups, participating in volunteer activities, or social activities, for example. This can help you meet people with common interests or life experiences, establish friendships, and also exercise your social skills.

In social interactions, it may be helpful to consider developing some skills, such as listening, expressing, and changing your attitude. When communicating with others, it can be beneficial to listen to what they say, understand their emotions and intentions, and then respond.

It would also be beneficial for you to learn to express your thoughts in a more active way, so that others can better understand you. In addition, it might be helpful for you to consider changing your attitude, trying to look at things in life from a more positive perspective, and reducing self-doubt and insecurity.

In your daily life, you might consider ways to relieve stress and anxiety through exercise. It is thought that exercise can release stress hormones in the body, promote the secretion of happy hormones, and also make your body healthier.

It may be helpful to consider meditation and deep breathing as a way to relax the body and mind, and to enhance your emotional management skills.

We hope the following suggestions will be of help to you in coping with introversion and social anxiety:

1. Gain insight into your emotions and needs: Take note of your emotions and feelings in different situations and consider the underlying causes. At the same time, reflect on your needs and values to better understand yourself and communicate more effectively with others.

2. Consider learning relaxation techniques: Some relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, meditation, and yoga, can help you control your emotions and stress. These methods may assist you in quickly calming yourself when you are anxious and nervous, and in improving your emotional management skills.

3. Consider setting small goals: It may be helpful to start with small goals and gradually challenge yourself. For example, you could try greeting others on campus, participating in group discussions, or going to parties with friends.

With experience, you may find it becomes easier to communicate with people.

4. Practice social skills: Consider learning some basic social skills, such as communicating with others, expressing your thoughts and emotions, and showing genuine interest and concern. This could help you communicate better with others and improve your emotional intelligence.

5. Build a support system: It would be beneficial to establish good relationships with family, friends, or other people who support you, so that you can seek support when you need help. At the same time, it would be helpful to learn to actively participate in social activities, find people with common interests or experiences, and establish friendships.

6. Consider trying new things: You might find it helpful to try something new, such as learning a new skill, taking up a new social activity, or traveling to a new place. This could help to improve your self-confidence and adaptability, allowing you to better adapt to different situations.

If you find that you are unable to move past your tendency to be hurt easily, it might be helpful to consider seeking professional guidance. A counselor can assist you in identifying and addressing emotional challenges, providing actionable steps and support, and helping you rebuild emotional resilience and social skills.

In summary, it is important to understand that healing from emotional trauma requires dedication and resilience. If you are ready to invest the time and energy needed to make positive changes, you can enhance your emotional intelligence, build confidence in social settings, and create a more fulfilling life.

Hello, question owner! I'd love to give you a hug. From your description, I can see the person I once was, so I'd love to have a chat with you. You say you care more about other people's looks and actions. How can you get over being easily hurt?

Let's be real, most of us care about what other people think or whatever. And that's totally normal! We all have this thing called a "social brain" that makes us want to get along with others. So, when someone says something about you, you might get a little defensive, misunderstand them, and become suspicious. And then, when you realize you've misunderstood, you feel embarrassed. It's like our social brains are trying to protect us!

Absolutely! We can definitely try to trust each other in the presence of familiar friends. This way, you can experience the amazing feeling of trust more often and enhance the incredible positive experience brought about by trust. This may lead to some amazing improvements!

You also said that you are introverted, don't like to talk, have social anxiety, and always stay by yourself. When I was a student, I also always kept to myself, feeling that I didn't have any friends around me. Even if some classmates were nice to me, I would still feel that they had good friends. I wasn't their friend, but this cut off other people's friendliness and my own need for social interaction. But you know what? I'm here to tell you that you can change all that!

The so-called social phobia is all because of unfamiliarity. But once we become familiar with it, we will all try to open our hearts! And it's okay if you're not talkative and introverted. Extroverts and introverts are different, and each has its own amazing merits!

I'm just saying that if the OP wants to change and get rid of her glass heart, she should definitely try to open her heart!

I have also been called pretentious and delicate before. But you know what? I've learned to embrace those labels. Change your mind slowly, cultivate yourself slowly, and you will be fine. The questioner can read more books, appreciate the many flavors of life, and remember to learn to open your heart. Of course, all of this is a bit difficult, but take your time, you're still young. And you're going to do great!

That's life! Find the source of your pain and change it! You've got this! Good luck! In the world of psychology, I love you ???

Good day, I can see the confusion you are facing, and I want to reassure you that I am here to help.

You have indicated that you are naturally introverted and prefer not to engage in conversation. Additionally, you have stated that you are particularly attuned to the nuances of other individuals' gazes and subtle movements.

There are two potential explanations.

One potential cause is that you may have experienced hurtful stares and subtle gestures from others during your formative years.

As a result, you have become more sensitive and suspicious.

If this is the case, it is recommended that you seek professional psychological counseling.

The second possibility is that you are affected by the "spotlight effect" in psychology.

Please describe the "spotlight effect."

This phenomenon is known as the "spotlight effect." It refers to the tendency for individuals to overestimate the attention they receive from others. This is often driven by a desire to project a positive image, leading individuals to believe that they are the focus of others' attention, even when this is not the case.

(Please note that the above reference is from Zhihu.)

It is not necessary to be overly concerned with the appearance or subtle actions of others.

In today's fast-paced society, individuals are often preoccupied with their own priorities, which may limit their attention to subtle actions or the way they are perceived.

In summary, it is advisable to maintain a healthy sense of perspective and avoid becoming overly preoccupied with trivial matters. This approach will help to reduce stress and fatigue.

I hope the issue you are experiencing can be resolved promptly.

At this time, I am unable to offer any further suggestions.

I hope my above answer is helpful and inspiring to you, the questioner. As the answerer, I am committed to providing the best possible response.

Best regards, Yixinli Team

Thank you for your inquiry.

My name is Gu Daoxi Feng Shou Luo, and I am a heart exploration coach.

When I see the questioner, I see myself. I understand the questioner's feelings, so I'm going to give the questioner a hug.

I read a very enlightening quote today: people who are less happy are often those who care too much about the opinions of others. If we don't care, other people's words simply don't affect us.

Our attitude towards things is what provokes emotional responses, not the things themselves. The questioner will misunderstand others because of the mentality related to me, especially the bad influence.

The questioner should try to become aware of:

Why do you care so much about what other people think? It's because you weren't affirmed during your upbringing and you're always worried that you're not good in other people's eyes.

Let me be clear: saying that someone is good or bad has no substantial effect on oneself. It's like losing or gaining a pound.

I want to know what the worst that could happen is.

I want to know why the questioner was so angry. Did he feel that others had touched a sore spot?

The questioner needs to decide whether to stop the other person or change oneself if what they said is true.

The questioner should have tried to express their feelings and get the other person to understand. Talking about it would have been easier.

Adler was clear: All human troubles stem from interpersonal relationships. Understanding the reasons behind emotions is key to helping the questioner adjust better.

Extroverts are good at broad connections, while introverts are good at narrow, deep connections. There's no need for the questioner to force themselves to become social cows. Every personality has its own advantages and disadvantages.

Don't be so sensitive. You're no more important than anyone else. Here's a story about me: I was in a hurry to change into my work clothes, so I only changed my top but not my pants. I spent the whole day wandering around the office, and even my desk mate didn't notice.

The questioner doesn't need to care about other people's opinions.

There are no absolutely introverted people in the world. I had a male classmate who never spoke to me before, but one day I noticed that he was having a good chat with the student sitting in front of me. At that moment, I realized that there are no absolutely introverted people. You will find a social circle that suits you and you will feel at home.

Review past misunderstandings. When others start chatting again and plant seeds of doubt in your mind, leave the scene and come back after they've finished chatting. This avoids conflicts.

Speculation is pointless. Get involved. Say, "What are you guys talking about? I want to join in. I'm bored by myself!" Participation reduces speculation.

~You must distinguish between facts and subjective feelings. In "The Courage to Be Disliked," there is a story about well water at 18 degrees. The same temperature feels cool in the summer and warm in the winter, which shows that our feelings can be different in different states. You must make the question objective to reduce speculation.

Focus on the most important thing in the present. When we have our own key goals, we will pay less attention to things that are not as important.

Express your emotions. Once you have said them out loud, you will feel more relaxed and it will be easier to gain the understanding and support of others.

Separate the issues. Whether you like yourself or not is another person's problem. The question of how you are doing is a matter of detail. Do something that relaxes you, and it will reduce your stress.

Read these books: "The Power of Not Giving a F*ck," "Brene Brown's New Emotion-Focused Therapy," "The Courage to Be Disliked," and "Maybe You Should Talk to Someone." They will help you adjust your state of mind.

Best wishes!

Greetings, inquirer. I am Jia Ao, the Heart Exploration coach. Do you have any questions for me?

The issues and confusion you outlined on the platform are evident. Are you experiencing difficulties in interpersonal interactions? You indicated that you are naturally introverted and dislike talking, and you also exhibit social anxiety. You consistently find yourself alone at school. You place a high value on the opinions of others, including their actions. You are particularly sensitive. When others say something, even if it is a minor issue, you tend to take it personally. You also misunderstand others, which causes you significant embarrassment, and your emotional intelligence is low. You are unsure of how to make changes.

It is accurate to conclude that introverts are more reserved and prone to social anxiety. They also tend to focus their attention on the eyes and subtle movements of others, which indicates a tendency towards passivity in interpersonal interactions. The eyes and comments of others have consistently exerted influence over one's actions. Introverts often display cautious and nervous behavior, driven by a concern that they may offend others if they are not careful. It is evident that there is a need for adjustment.

Assist in the analysis and organization of information.

1. Engage in introspective reflection.

I was born with a relatively introverted personality and do not enjoy social interaction. I am socially anxious and often find myself alone at school. I am more concerned with the reactions of others than I am with my own comfort. I have learned to confront my tendency to internalize criticism and become overly sensitive. This is commonly referred to as having a "glass heart." If someone says something unintentionally, I may perceive it as a personal attack and experience distress. It is important to recognize that individuals with a glass heart often have underlying psychological issues. To overcome this, it is essential to develop a more resilient and independent mindset. If you continue to dwell on negative thoughts, you will become overly sensitive to the opinions of others and passive in your actions. This can lead to significant challenges in social interactions. It is crucial to give your mind a break and learn to detach from excessive thinking.

2. Cultivate the ability to lower expectations.

As one's own state of mind becomes more open, it becomes apparent that not everyone is targeting you. It is therefore unwise to have excessive expectations of others, hoping that they will always keep you in mind and remember all your words. It is important to recognise that everyone has a lot of things to deal with and cannot always revolve around you alone. Furthermore, it is unlikely that they will keep staring at you like this. It is possible that others did not intend to ignore your request or say the wrong thing. It is essential to understand that everyone's thoughts are different, and therefore to be mindful of the difficulties of others. Adopting this mindset will lead to greater happiness and comfort.

3. It is advisable to seek external assistance and support.

The formation of a "glass heart" may be attributed to the long-term accumulation of worries, the tendency to hide one's emotions, and the suppression of negative emotions. This can result in individuals experiencing heightened negative affect and a proclivity for pessimistic emotions. Thus, a potential method for transforming a "glass heart" is to gradually open one's heart, share one's worries, seek external support and assistance, and engage in discussions about unhappy topics with loved ones and friends. These conversations can provide a sense of perspective and help individuals avoid falling into negative moods.

4. It is imperative to maintain self-confidence at all times.

The "fragile heart" is not inherently frightening; avoidance is. Once a perception is formed, change will occur subtly. It is imperative to maintain self-confidence, learn to communicate with others, express thoughts and feelings in an appropriate manner, avoid misunderstandings and conflicts, and only when confidence is present will fear of comments or stares be absent. Furthermore, confidence allows for courage and resilience in the face of external opinions.

It is my sincere hope that my response will prove beneficial to you. Should you require further communication, the question owner is invited to follow me (by clicking on my personal homepage), select the Heart Exploration service, and communicate with me directly. The world and I extend our love to you.

Hello, I'm a heart coach. I believe life is a beautiful journey, not just for appreciation, but also for growth and development.

Your words reflect a tendency to judge yourself. You describe yourself as introverted, not talkative, socially anxious, and "always" alone. These are character traits that should be viewed as inherent to a person, rather than being emotionally colored with praise or criticism. However, you have linked them to your poor interpersonal interactions and conflicts in relationships. Let's share and discuss.

1. How might one view their own sensitivity in a more constructive light?

As you mentioned, he does seem to be sensitive to other people's stares and can be quite sensitive and suspicious when getting along with others. It's understandable that he is easily hurt, and these emotions can certainly trouble you and affect or even destroy your relationships with others.

However, it's important to note that your sensitivity and suspicion may not be solely due to introversion, being a quiet person, or social anxiety. There might be other factors at play, including your upbringing. For instance, when you were young, your parents' companionship, the way they interacted with you, and their relationship with each other might have played a role.

It is possible that children who are constantly criticized, blamed, and rejected by their parents may experience difficulties in developing a positive sense of self-worth. It seems that their emotional needs may not be fully met, and they may often feel neglected by their parents. If parents do not respond in a timely and adequate manner to the emotional needs of their children, it may cause the children to develop a deep sense of self-negation when they grow up.

Over time, the child may become sensitive and suspicious. He may think that it is because he is "not good enough" or has done something wrong that his parents "hate" him, do not like him, accompany him, or pay attention to him.

It is important to note that these are the child's own judgments. At that time, he did not yet have full independence, the ability to think and judge independently, and his parents did not pay attention to the child's emotions and emotional needs in time. As a result, the child learned to build a "castle" to protect himself: being introverted, not talking much, and not being able/daring to get along with others.

It is understandable that he may feel this way. After all, everything has two sides. While this approach may protect him, it may also isolate him from the outside world and prevent him from establishing deep connections with others.

It is important to recognize that sensitivity has two sides. Just as a fruit knife is a tool for our lives, it can also be used as a tool to harm. The book "High Sensitivity is a Gift" provides insight into how sensitive people are formed and how it can affect them differently.

Many scientists and psychologists have reached a consensus that high sensitivity is an innate trait, rather than something that requires diagnosis or treatment.

It may be the case that highly sensitive people are better able to live with their sensitivity in the future if they were appreciated more as children.

2. Some suggestions on how to improve interpersonal relationships

Firstly, it would be beneficial to re-establish self-awareness. We are all independent beings, and self-confidence can be derived from one's subjective evaluation of oneself (i.e., a sense of worth) and a sense of confidence in oneself.

You have a number of negative self-perceptions, including beliefs that your introversion, lack of conversation, and withdrawal (which often result in your being alone) are all bad, as well as the belief that you are "doomed" to have bad relationships.

It would be beneficial to consider that self-awareness and exploration are important topics throughout our lives. Taking stock at different stages of life could help to prepare us well for the next stage.

Secondly, remaining aware allows us to observe our patterns of interaction with others. This enables us to identify the circumstances that may lead to anger, anticipate arguments, and understand the underlying feelings of powerlessness that can arise.

I believe that awareness is an important foundation for making changes within your own abilities.

As a final suggestion, you might consider trying some corresponding exercises to help heal your inner sense of security. For instance, meditation, mindfulness, and writing have all been known to enhance one's ability to perceive oneself.

You might also find it helpful to read some psychology books, such as Living a Meaningful Life, Lifelong Growth, and The Power of Self-Growth. You may also enjoy watching the movie A Beautiful Mind again and again.

It is my sincere hope that the above will be of some help to you and to the world. I send you my love.

Should you wish to continue our dialogue, you are most welcome to follow my personal homepage, "Heart Exploration Service".

Hello, question asker!

From your description, I can sense a certain confusion in your heart. At the same time, you have a very good ability to perceive this uncomfortable emotion, and it is admirable that you are courageous enough to face it.

You describe yourself as naturally introverted and sensitive. Some social fears may make it challenging to communicate with others, and you may dwell on negative thoughts, which can significantly impact your overall well-being and learning experience. Could this be true?

After reading your description, I can relate to this feeling in your heart. I want to give you a warm hug and tell you that our personality is indeed innate, and of course it is also related to our environment to a certain extent. I believe that as long as you are aware of it, you are already on the path to change.

Based on your description, I hope that my feelings and suggestions might be of some help to you.

Perhaps the first step would be to accept and allow yourself.

Everyone has their own unique set of challenges and feelings. It's important to recognize that what you're experiencing may not align with your thoughts or beliefs. Accepting and allowing yourself to have these feelings, and gradually reconciling with them, can be a powerful step towards healing and growth.

It might also be helpful to find a hobby that improves your self-esteem.

I believe that everyone has their own potential and strength, which we may have overlooked, causing us to fall into an emotional cycle. We can change ourselves, find our own interests and hobbies, increase our sense of strength, boost our self-confidence, and improve ourselves, so that we can break out of the current situation.

It might also be helpful to consider incorporating more exercise into your routine.

When we doubt ourselves and feel overwhelmed, it may be helpful to try to get rid of the negativity and clear our minds of negative emotions. Talking to someone or exercising can be good ways to do this. Running can help our brains secrete dopamine, which can produce a sense of pleasure and help us to relieve uncomfortable emotions.

If you feel you need further support, you can seek help from a counselor or learn more about psychology to help you heal.

You might find the following books helpful: Low Self-Esteem and Beyond, 5% Change, Fast and Slow Thinking, The Courage to Be Disliked, and Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychologist.

Hello, my name is Coach Yu, and I would love to chat with you about this topic.

Let's start with relationships with other people.

Have you ever heard of Alfred Adler? He was the founder of individual psychology. He had a really interesting idea. He said that all of our problems come from our relationships with other people. We're all afraid of being hated or hurt in our relationships. This can make us feel inferior.

It's so interesting how our minds work, isn't it? We often think that our feelings are an objective fact, but they're really just a subjective interpretation. Have you ever noticed how we always care about other people's eyes and actions? It's because we've already set up scenarios in our minds, like "I'm introverted and socially anxious" and "they don't like me."

As the original poster wrote, at school I was always alone. I would want to argue back whenever someone said something to me or my friends or teachers, and I would misunderstand others every time, which would cause a lot of embarrassment. But you know what? All of that has just opened a door that can lead us deeper into our hearts and let us see the "true self."

We can ask ourselves some really interesting questions! For example, what is it about myself that makes me want to argue back when someone says something to me? And what is it about myself that makes me so suspicious?

We can also ask ourselves, "How did I feel during that embarrassing situation? If I could replay it, what would I do differently?"

We can also ask ourselves some other lovely questions, like: What is my ideal self? And what is my ideal relationship like?

What does my heart really want? When we take the time to understand our needs, it can help us make better choices.

Let's chat about acceptance. We're all imperfect, and we all have a side we don't want to touch, which we might call the dark side. People around us are unwilling to accept it, and even we ourselves can't face it. So we put on a mask, pretending to be the role that others like, but we are tired of living like this.

As the original poster describes, I was born more introverted and don't like to talk. I care a lot about other people's eyes and actions, and I misunderstand others every time. It's so hard when you have a fragile heart! It not only fails to relax you, but it also makes you more anxious.

We can try to see ourselves as we really are, with all our strengths and weaknesses. We can accept ourselves just as we are, imperfect though we may be. We can let go of the heavy burden, release the tension in our hearts, and not force ourselves or harshly judge ourselves. With an objective and comprehensive understanding of ourselves, we will not be affected by external voices and comments.

At last, it's so important to love yourself. I can see that this situation is really painful for you, and it's having a big impact on your studies and life at school. But you've already done so well by noticing your emotions and having very clear values.

So let's start by taking care of ourselves, our bodies, and our feelings.

Why not try practising self-expression in the mirror? You are very good, and I am not bad. It would be great if you could find a classmate with whom you get along and communicate with him. Listen to how he sees yourself and some of his feelings about getting along with you. This will help us to know ourselves better!

Of course, we can ask for help because we all need a little support sometimes! Try to find a family member or friend you trust and who has always given you positive support to talk to. If you feel the need, you can also find a counselor or a support group because it's always good to talk!

We must also affirm and empower ourselves. Based on the principle of subject-object separation, we cannot change other people's gazes or actions. It's so important to enrich your knowledge and enrich your inner self. When our core is strong, the people around you will naturally feel comfortable with you.

I'd highly recommend reading "Nonviolent Communication" if you get a chance!

Hello, I'm Jokerev, and I'm here to tell you something really exciting! Every single person on this planet has their own unique personality and way of socializing. There is absolutely no such thing as a "standard" interpersonal template in the world.

The characteristics you describe – being introverted, sensitive, and caring about the actions and words of others – are absolutely wonderful! They don't make you flawed; they make you unique. Your emotions are delicate, and your insight is keen. These traits are rich and profound!

I totally get it. I know you're going through a lot with your personality. It's totally normal to feel anxious and misunderstood in social situations. But here's the good news: you can learn to accept and be kind to this introverted and sensitive self.

There's absolutely no need to force yourself to become outgoing and cheerful! Instead, learn to appreciate your uniqueness while gradually adjusting the overly sensitive parts.

It's time to take control of your emotions! Start by observing and understanding your emotional response patterns. When you find yourself over-interpreting the words or actions of others, pause, take a deep breath, and tell yourself, "Maybe things aren't what I think they are." Learn to distinguish between real information and subjective speculation. You've got this!

If you are worried about misunderstanding others or being misunderstood, you can easily overcome this by clarifying and expressing yourself proactively! Bravely asking the other person about their true intentions and honestly expressing your feelings are simple yet powerful ways to improve your emotional intelligence.

There are so many ways to address social anxiety! You can relieve tension through meditation, yoga, reading, and other methods. Or, you can seek professional psychological counseling to learn some strategies and techniques for coping with social anxiety.

It can be tempting to stick to what you know, but it's also important to push yourself a little. You can start by taking part in small activities and group discussions. Before you know it, you'll be ready to take on more and more opportunities to interact with others and build great social experiences!

Growth is a long-term process, and change requires time and patience. Be gentle with yourself, because every effort is a valuable opportunity for self-exploration and growth!

As you go along, you'll get to know yourself better and better. And you'll also learn how to live in harmony with the world!

Hello.

I understand your distress. Being sensitive to other people's eyes and actions and being prone to misunderstandings can indeed cause some social pressure and distress. You can get over your glass heart and improve your emotional intelligence. Here are some suggestions to help you do so:

Be aware of your emotions. When you feel uncomfortable or want to lose your temper, stop and think about why you feel this way. Is it caused by someone else's look or action? This will help you understand your emotions better and reduce overreactions to other people's actions.

Self-acceptance: You are who you are, and you have your own unique personality and emotions. Being introverted, sensitive, and suspicious are characteristics that many people share. Accepting yourself for who you are is the first step to better handling your emotions and behaviors.

Enhance your self-confidence. Stand firm in your beliefs and ideas. Don't be swayed by the words and actions of others. Affirm yourself, think positively, and set goals and achieve them.

Learn communication skills. They will help you understand other people's thoughts and feelings, and let others understand yours. Learn listening skills, questioning skills, and expressing opinions.

Join more social activities. You'll meet new people and gain valuable social skills. Get involved with interest groups, social groups, or volunteer organizations. Or, simply communicate more with friends and family.

I am certain that these suggestions will help you get out of your shell and improve your emotional intelligence. Also, remember to maintain a positive mindset and behavior, and believe that you can change and grow.

You've got this!