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By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
Hello, host! I'm smiling!
After reading your description, I totally get what you're asking! I'm here for you, and I'm sending you a hug in four dimensions!
From your description, it's clear that you've encountered this problem, and I believe that many people have experienced it to a greater or lesser extent in real life. The good news is that we can work together to overcome it! Being overly concerned about what others think of you is also a very common problem, but the original poster asked us to combine psychological knowledge to talk about it, which is also a relatively novel point. In this regard, I would also like to give the original poster a thumbs up for asking such a good question for the answerer to discuss.
I'm excited to share that there are three key reasons behind the issue the original poster described. First, this type of person is highly attuned to the thoughts and feelings of others. They're so invested in others' emotions that they sometimes neglect their own. This is because, deep down, they crave connection and fear being left alone. When it comes to socializing, they're eager to please and make others feel good.
This means that in many cases, these types of people will suppress their true emotions and feelings.
The second aspect is that when these types of people were young, they were often taught to be obedient and sensible children, and rarely express their feelings and thoughts. Therefore, they were also trained to believe that their feelings and thoughts are not important. But here's the good news! They can change this pattern. They can start to believe that their feelings and thoughts are important. And they can start to believe that they can make the people around them happy. They can start to believe that they can do what they want, and get what they want.
The third aspect is that these types of people have so much potential for growth! When they get along with others, they blur the boundary between themselves and the people around them. As a result, when these types of people get along with others, they take the feelings and thoughts of others as a true evaluation of themselves. Therefore, there is a certain lack of clarity in boundaries, causing them to care too much about what others think of them. In the end, they will fall into a self-imposed trap, which is also a learned helplessness. But they can overcome this!
Paying too much attention to what others think of you is actually a very sensitive person, but it also has certain advantages. It is reflected in the fact that this type of person will be able to capture the thoughts and feelings of others more quickly, and will also be able to put themselves in other people's shoes when dealing with things, which will lead to greater empathy. Furthermore, this type of person will also become more detailed and cautious when doing things or dealing with people. So, I still want to say that there is a bright side to everything, not just a bad side. It's just that you're putting too much emphasis on the bad side, and I want to help you change that!
I've also got some great tips to help you out of this pickle!
(1) Get to know yourself correctly and recognize your strengths and weaknesses. It's time to combine your strengths and weaknesses to get to know yourself again!
(2) Absolutely! You don't need to accept all the comments others give you, but you can choose which ones you do.
(3) You simply have to read The Courage to Be Disliked!
(4) It's time to set some appropriate boundaries, get clear on your own feelings and thoughts, and understand other people's feelings and thoughts. You can do it!
Absolutely! Spend more time with yourself, get to know your innermost thoughts, and enrich yourself in this way!
The world and I love you so much! ?
Wishing you the very best!
Helpful to me 831
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Comments
People can be mean because they often project their insecurities onto others, reacting defensively or aggressively out of fear of judgment. Understanding this can help us see their actions as a reflection of their internal struggles rather than personal attacks.
Sometimes people's meanness stems from societal pressures and the need to fit in. They might believe that by putting others down, they elevate themselves in the eyes of their peers. This behavior showcases a deepseated need for acceptance and validation from others.
The tendency to care too much about others' opinions can lead to negative behaviors. People may act meanly as a defense mechanism, trying to control how they are perceived. It's important to recognize this is more about their own perception issues than any fault in those they criticize.
When someone acts mean, it could be an indicator of low selfesteem. By focusing on the faults of others, they momentarily shift focus away from their own perceived shortcomings. Psychological support can help these individuals address the root of their behavior.
In some cases, being mean is learned behavior. If people grow up in environments where criticism and negativity are common, they may adopt these patterns without realizing the impact. Changing such behavior requires awareness and effort to break old habits.