Good day.
I am deeply concerned about your situation. It is clear that this has had a significant impact on you, and I regret that you have already suffered as a result.
I believe you are experiencing a range of emotions, including anger, frustration, and a sense of powerlessness. I offer you a hug from a distance, with the hope of providing some warmth and strength.
Upon discovering the transfers, you were understandably distressed. When you initially inquired about them, your husband was defensive and asserted that he was simply transferring funds at his discretion.
It appears that in this matter, he is not at fault, nor has he always been detached. He subsequently provided explanations and assurances.
However, the transfer records and screenshots provide irrefutable evidence that he sent red envelopes and made ambiguous remarks. It is evident that his relationship with this woman, with whom he has been acquainted for over a decade, is not merely platonic.
It is unclear to me how far their relationship has developed. Given that your husband is still willing to hide it from you and deceive you, it seems unlikely that he has developed to the point where he wants to divorce you now.
He has been acquainted with the woman for over a decade. He did not select her as a spouse.
He elected to marry you while maintaining an inappropriate relationship with the aforementioned woman. It is possible that your husband's motives are merely recreational, or it is conceivable that he harbors genuine feelings for her and is reluctant to end the relationship.
However, this has little to do with your decision. As women, we should prioritize self-love.
As it is unfeasible to accurately predict your husband's intentions, it is advisable to refrain from making assumptions. Instead, focus on identifying your own objectives.
It is important to define the expectations of the marriage and then evaluate whether those expectations have been met.
In a marriage, it is particularly distressing to experience such a situation. I believe this is because the sense of security and belonging that marriage can provide has been compromised.
A marriage is based on mutual love and exclusivity.
It is not only unethical but also potentially unlawful for a third party to enter into a marriage.
While your husband is the one who has made the mistake, it is important to consider how he can be made to feel justified.
During the continuation of your marriage, the law protects the joint property of the couple. Regardless of whether you opt to divorce, you have the right to request the return of funds and items provided by your husband to the other party.
Given that your husband's funds originated from your joint marital assets and he transferred those assets to her, the law is on your side in recovering those funds. You may wish to consult with a lawyer to understand the legal process.
Should you send a message to the woman requesting funds, it is likely that you will encounter difficulties in recovering them, even in the event of a separation.
I am unaware of the specifics of your marital relationship. I have read numerous reports indicating that infidelity is not exclusive to individuals in unsatisfactory marriages. Some individuals in seemingly stable marriages also engage in infidelity.
Therefore, his infidelity is not your responsibility. It is plausible that he simply prefers this lifestyle, comprising separate domestic and external personas.
However, it is important to determine whether you can accept his preferences. There is a possibility that he may gradually reduce his contact with the other woman in the future.
Please consider whether you can accept such a husband. What functions does such a marriage still serve for you?
Has the level of attachment changed?
We must consider these questions carefully and determine the best course of action. We are at a crossroads in our marriage, and we must decide which direction to take. Which path do we truly want to pursue?
It is essential that we follow our hearts and move forward without looking back.
As a woman in a marriage, money is an important factor, but it is not the sole determining factor. Even if we recover our funds through legal means,
It is unclear whether the feelings will return or if the sense of security in the marriage will be restored.
Now, we find ourselves in a state of unrest. Will we be able to return to a state of inner peace? Can we let go of these concerns?
If we determine that the marriage can continue, there will be numerous reasons to do so.
It is important to look to the future and consider the best way forward. If the marriage is no longer viable, it is not helpful to dwell on the situation.
Perhaps the solution is simply to make a decision and identify a suitable time to bring the situation to a conclusion.
In any case, you are now experiencing a high level of distress. Please do not suffer alone.
If feasible, it is advisable to seek the guidance of a life coach or a psychological counselor. These professionals can assist you in conducting a comprehensive self-assessment, providing support and encouragement during this challenging period. It is important to maintain a positive outlook and recognize that even the most difficult days will eventually pass.
I extend my love and support to you, and I encourage you to extend the same to yourself.
Comments
I understand your pain and confusion in this situation. It seems like trust has been severely damaged here.
It's important to address this issue directly with your husband. Ask him to be honest about the transfers and purchases, emphasizing that transparency is crucial for rebuilding trust.
Considering the evidence you've found, it might be beneficial to seek couples counseling. A professional can provide guidance on how to navigate this complex situation and help both of you communicate more effectively.
You have the right to feel hurt and betrayed. Before deciding on your next steps, take time to reflect on what you want from this relationship. Consider if it's possible to rebuild or if it's time to prioritize your own well being.
Sending a message to the woman for the money might not resolve the underlying issues within your marriage. Instead, focus on discussing the financial matters with your husband and setting clear boundaries moving forward.