I always have this thought of being unwanted, but I don't know where my fear comes from.

Hello, I hope my answer can be of some help to you.

From what you've said, it seems like a lot of your beliefs are based on things you've seen on TV. TV shows aren't that realistic, but we humans are. You're feeling afraid of being abandoned in relationships, and you're insecure in them. These feelings of fear of abandonment and insecurity in relationships don't come from what TV shows we watch, but from our own attachment relationships. We need to go back to our original relationships to find the answers.

And sexual relationships aren't the key to making an intimate relationship last. To have a happy and stable relationship, we need to learn how to manage and maintain it, rather than relying on sexual relationships to sustain it.

My advice to you is:

Take a step back and think about your childhood, especially the first year. Look at how you related to your parents and how you formed your attachment patterns. This will help you understand yourself better.

Who looked after you before you turned one? Did you feel abandoned at that time?

What happened at that time that made you feel insecure in relationships? Even though we don't remember it consciously, the feelings and thoughts from that period still affect us at a subconscious level.

If we didn't get the care we needed when we were young, if our needs weren't met on time, if we were hungry but didn't get fed, if we made a mess but weren't cleaned up, or if we wanted to be held but were ignored, we'll feel insecure in relationships. We'll feel like we're going to be abandoned, and being abandoned at that time meant that we could hardly survive. This fear in early, primal relationships will also affect all our subsequent relationships, and when we become adults, it will be manifested in our intimate relationships.

It's important to understand ourselves from this perspective. Once you know what's going on with you, you'll feel much more relaxed.

2. When you feel secure on the inside, you'll be more comfortable in relationships and less likely to worry about being abandoned.

We can't change what's already happened, but we can change ourselves by accepting the past and our past selves. We can build inner security through self-care because a person's sense of security comes from within. When a person feels secure within, they'll feel grounded and safe in any relationship.

There are three levels to approaching self-care: first, treating yourself well; second, common humanity; and third, observing the present moment. For specific methods, you can check out "The Power of Self-Care," which goes into great detail about each of these levels.

I also suggest reading Rebuilding Your Life to help you feel secure, learn to love yourself, and enhance your self-worth.

3. A truly long-lasting and happy relationship is not just about having sex. It requires a deep connection, mutual understanding and support, trust, and tolerance.

There are three key ingredients to a great intimate relationship: passion, intimacy, and commitment. Of these, only passion is related to sex. So, a truly long-lasting and happy relationship has to be more than just a sexual relationship. It also needs to be about intimacy and commitment. Commitment means building a deep connection and mutual understanding through in-depth interactions, exchanges, words, body language, and actions. This helps to build a trusting and accepting relationship.

Don't worry, psychology has already done a lot of research on these methods for achieving happiness. As long as we keep learning and growing, we can learn them. I recommend that you take relevant courses and read related books, such as "Managing Intimate Relationships," "Intimacy," "It Turns Out That Understanding Is More Important Than Love," "Attachment in Psychotherapy," and so on.

You can find more information on this in the above references. Best wishes!

Let's dive into the fascinating topic of understanding emptiness analysis!

Your feelings and doubts are totally normal and common, and you're not alone! Many people face similar confusion and fears when it comes to love and marriage. First of all, I want to tell you that your feelings are completely normal, and you don't have to feel self-blame or shame.

First of all, I want to say that you have the right to decide about your body and your relationships. It's your body, and you have every right to decide what you want to do with it. Whether you are in the dating phase or in a relationship, you have the right to choose whether you want to have sex or not. Neither party should feel pressured or forced.

If you're not ready for a relationship, you have every right to express your desires and find a partner who respects you!

Second, you might have some fears and doubts, but they can come from your previous experiences and observations of the people around you. The great thing is that every person and every relationship is different, so you shouldn't be skeptical about everyone and everything just because of past experiences.

Absolutely! Relationships and marriages are built on trust and respect, and finding a partner who understands and supports you is so crucial!

Finally, I would absolutely encourage you to remain rational and calm when it comes to love and marriage, while also daring to listen to your inner voice. If you feel that following the rules and careful consideration will bring you a sense of security, then stick to your decision!

Building a strong relationship with the right person is an exciting journey that takes time and trust. Don't let external pressures sway your choice — you've got this!

And most importantly, remember to cherish yourself and respect your feelings and needs! You can find someone who truly respects and cherishes you. Don't give up on finding your own happiness because of fear.

I really hope you can find an answer that will give you so much confidence in yourself and your future!