I am extremely irritable and painful about many things; is help or concern a form of bondage?

Hello.

After reading what you wrote, you want to be yourself, even if it's just in one small way.

Dealing with the daily routine of life at your own pace is a derivative interpretation of "being yourself." I am not unable to take care of myself, and I don't want to be told what to do or controlled.

I am a person with free will, and my parents do not recognize this value.

I love you, but your actions make me feel tired. Examine your love for me. It's strong, but I'm tired and in pain.

It's not for me to say whether something is right or wrong, but you have respected your own feelings. Feeling uncomfortable is a way of caring for yourself.

If I were your counselor, I would make sure you could be yourself and enjoy yourself during our 50 minutes together.

You have the right to autonomy and choice. This is how you can feel these rights that you already have.

Here's a tip:

If you have a small pet at home, you are responsible for taking care of it. What are your thoughts on your own abilities?

On a scale of 0 to 10, I am a 10. I am confident in communicating with my parents.

You need to take control of your life. A pet will bring you warmth and sunshine, and you will appreciate the effort you have made for other living creatures.

Hello!

I'm Yi Ming, a heart exploration coach.

I've read your question and want to share what I know. I hope you get a different perspective.

1. When did you stop wanting to follow the rules?

Many of us don't want to follow the rules, but we do because we know it can lead to bad outcomes.

This is a common family scene.

I don't think it's disobedience.

The more someone tells us to do something, the less we want to do it.

We may do it without being reminded.

Some people may feel upset, but not irritable or in pain.

We can ask ourselves:

When did you start reacting like this?

Anxiety might make us unwilling to be bound and demanded.

We feel anxious because we are not who we think we should be.

The self we imagine may be an illusion. It may not be easy to achieve.

Our bodies won't cooperate.

Try to figure out when these thoughts and practices started and why they cause pain.

2. Break away from rumination and be brave.

"Rumination is thinking over and over about a bad event, how you feel about it, and what it means."

Eating is a small thing, but we torture ourselves over it.

We compare our current situation with unattainable goals.

How do we change?

Have you tried it?

Take action to break the cycle.

If you don't want to get up, don't.

It's no big deal, so don't blame yourself.

This will help you feel better.

How other people think or remind you is their business. You just need to do your best.

Have we talked to our parents?

For example, have you tried explaining to them that you don't need to be looked after?

Think about it. If you don't have your parents' help, can you take care of yourself?

Have you looked at your problems again?

Have you tried to cooperate with your parents?

Get up before your parents wake you up and say, "I want breakfast."

Wouldn't that make you feel more in control?

Our thoughts limit us.

Can we change how we think to feel less demanding and irritable?

See for yourself what you want to do and live.

There are many ways to avoid being constrained.

Try it!

Share these.

Best wishes!

Please comment with feedback.

I experienced a similar period in February 2020 when the epidemic first emerged. I was unable to return to my beloved city to work due to the uncertain future. Every day felt frustrating, and I struggled to see a direction in life.

If you feel directionless and isolated, you may become irritable and suffer because you feel empty and unable to achieve your goals. You may also become impatient with those who help or care about you, viewing them as a burden.

This is still quite upsetting. Your reluctance to follow the rules is likely a kind of rebellious tendency. Many people get caught in this kind of deadlock: they don't want to have any contact with other people, but at the same time they feel lonely. And when they are cared for, they feel burdened.

People are strange creatures. It's obvious that your parents want you to be healthy and maintain a proper eating routine, but they'll remind you over and over again, which makes you feel annoyed, miserable, and self-blame. This will cause your emotions to accumulate negative energy and make you feel that life is very difficult.

There are countless small and big things in our lives. They are often not major events, but they weigh on us little by little. Negative and irrational thinking makes us take the path of least resistance. Seek psychological counseling and talk to a psychological counselor to relieve your emotional stress.

What is the question?