I am in the second year of high school now, my classmate has been isolated by the whole class, what should I do?

Hello, my name is Zeyu, and I'm so happy to be here!

I can see that you're in a tricky situation. It seems like the whole class has turned against her, and if you stick by her side, you might end up being isolated too. But I know you want to stick by her side, at least for now.

Let's talk about this in a more rational way. It seems that classmates were isolated because her mother's remarks touched on issues that concerned the whole grade. It's possible that they were used as a target to vent emotions. It seems that the goal of the other classmates was to drag you into the other party's camp, completely isolate you, and achieve the goal of isolating the other party. If you look at this issue from an adult's perspective, you may feel that this is too childish. Have you ever thought about what good isolating others brings us?

In other words, it's not good to hurt others, is it?

It's okay to feel this way! What others do or say doesn't really matter to us. If we choose to go along with the crowd, if we can accept and agree with it from the bottom of our hearts, then we can do so. If we want to keep our own views and thinking, then we have to weigh the pros and cons and look at things comprehensively.

Your relationship with your classmate is actually better than that of other students. The good news is that after the storm passes, those who isolated her can still be friends with her. However, you may not be able to. Even if you are forced to choose to isolate her, no one cares about the process in reality. Only the result matters.

We all have our own memories, don't we? Some of us remember the good things others have done for us, but we all remember those who have hurt us too. So, instead of becoming someone else's tool, we should choose to be independent.

Hi, I'm a Heart Explorer coach. Life is a beautiful journey, not just for appreciation, but for growth and development.

You're a kindhearted kid. The college entrance exam is coming up, and you want to focus on your studies and on being a good person. You don't want to actively isolate your classmate, but you don't want to be involved with her either. We're here for you. Let's share and discuss:

?1. Why did her classmates isolate her?

People are basically good.

As you mentioned, some of the comments and thoughts of the classmate at the same table are more extreme, and her mother is also like this. She's influenced by her parents and family environment, so she doesn't have the ability to think and judge independently, which leads to her extreme thinking.

The students didn't want to be negatively influenced by her, so they decided to isolate her. It's great to see that they promote positive energy and have a positive, sunny attitude.

Given what you've told me, I've realised that I've already been affected by my classmate in a negative way. So it's still important for me to keep my distance from her.

?2. Just make sure you maintain a sense of boundaries, but don't get involved in any "school bullying" issues.

From what you said, it seems like what the other students mean by "isolating" is just staying away from her and keeping a certain distance, not taking any malicious or especially aggressive actions.

It's important to maintain boundaries and not let others influence your feelings, decisions, or psychological state.

It's important to remember that choosing to distance yourself from others is a way to protect yourself, not to harm them. There's a difference between isolating someone from the group.

At the very least, say hello when you see each other. You can still offer a little help. Even if you go to school and eat together, try to avoid too much communication and get to know each other better.

If you're struggling to find the right balance, it might be helpful to find a good reason to distance yourself from her and not join the other students in isolating her.

As for taking care of her emotionally, you don't have any responsibility or obligation to do so. You can also do that to protect and take care of your own feelings.

I hope this is helpful to you. Best regards, [Your name]

If you'd like to keep the conversation going, you can follow my personal homepage, "Heart Exploration Service."

Dear Question Asker, I can perceive the internal conflict and struggle you are currently experiencing.

I empathize with your situation. It is understandable that you are concerned about your classmate's isolation and its potential impact on you. I want you to know that you are not alone in this. I am here to support you through this challenging time.

Firstly, I would like to acknowledge the value of your kindness and compassion. Your concern for your classmate's isolation demonstrates a commendable level of empathy.

It is also important to understand that protecting your emotions is just as important as your studies. Therefore, we need to care for our classmates while also paying attention to our own needs and feelings.

To more effectively manage this relationship, I recommend the following course of action. First, engage in a comprehensive discussion with your colleague.

Discuss your concerns and issues with her, and provide her with your perspective and thoughts on the matter. Additionally, inquire about her feelings and opinions, and aim to comprehend her situation more deeply.

During the communication process, it is important to maintain a calm and objective state of mind, avoiding emotional responses and actions.

Secondly, it would be beneficial to identify common topics and interests within the class and to expand your social circle. This will not only mitigate the impact of isolation from your desk mate, but also facilitate a broader network within the class.

You may wish to consider taking the initiative to participate in some class activities or group discussions, thereby actively showcasing your talents and personal attributes.

Furthermore, should you feel that your classmate's comments and actions are significantly detrimental to your wellbeing, you may wish to consider maintaining a certain degree of distance at certain times. This does not imply complete estrangement, but rather the ability to maintain your independence and judgement at the appropriate junctures.

You may modify your interactions with the aforementioned classmate in accordance with your sentiments and requirements, thus facilitating greater comfort and ease.

In conclusion, I would like to remind you that it is not beneficial to place undue importance on the opinions and views of others. Each individual possesses intrinsic value and meaning, and it is unproductive to allow the actions of others to impede one's personal growth and fulfillment.

Have confidence in your abilities and value, and maintain your resolve in pursuing your chosen course of action. Should you experience feelings of being overwhelmed or emotionally unmanageable, it would be advisable to seek the guidance of a professional counselor.

A professional counselor can provide more specific and personalized advice to assist you in effectively addressing this issue.

In summary, when dealing with a classmate who is being isolated by the entire class, it is essential to treat her with understanding and tolerance while also maintaining awareness of your own emotions and academic performance. By communicating, establishing new social connections, maintaining an appropriate distance, and seeking professional assistance, you can effectively navigate the challenges posed by this relationship.

I am confident that you are a bright, kind, and resilient child, and I am certain that you will overcome this challenging period and embrace a brighter future. Believe in yourself and persevere.

Hello, I'd like to offer you a 360-degree hug if you'd like.

It is evident that you possess a kind and compassionate nature. Your classmate is facing challenges in forming connections with her peers, and you are concerned that if you also distance yourself and maintain a detached approach, it might inadvertently cause her discomfort. Additionally, the other students are also influencing you to maintain a certain distance from your classmate.

I believe there are three relationships involved here.

The first is your relationship with your classmate. You have observed that your classmate's presence has had a negative effect on you, which has led to your growing negative emotions and resistance to the people and things in the class.

At the same time, you are concerned that your classmate has been isolated by the entire class and that her feelings might be hurt if you join the group of people who have been excluding her. As a result, you find yourself in a difficult position.

It would seem that she has a negative effect on you, and you appear to be more concerned about her well-being than about the impact she has on you.

The second relationship is that between the classmate and the other students. From your description, it seems that the classmate is isolated by the whole class, especially the feedback from the classmate's mother.

Her mother expressed opposition to the early vacation, which led to feelings of resentment among the entire grade, and her classmates displayed negative attitudes towards her. As a bystander, you observed these interactions.

It would seem that she is isolated in her relationships with others.

It seems that this relationship has nothing to do with you, which means that it is the same whether you are involved or not. It appears that all classmates will be isolated, and she has already been hurt.

Of course, you don't want to make things worse for her, which is very considerate of you. However, it's important to understand that you can't change their relationship.

You may not want to change it, but it might be helpful to focus on your own thoughts.

Secondly, I would like to address your relationship with the other students. From what I have gathered from your description of the problem, it seems that you have a good relationship with the other students.

Given the circumstances, it's understandable why the other students might want you to distance yourself from your classmate. It's a challenging situation.

This is a classic triangular relationship between you, your classmate, and the other students. It's possible that without the other students, your relationship with your classmate may not be so complicated.

Perhaps your relationship with other students would be less complicated if you didn't have a classmate. It's not uncommon to be in several relationships at once.

For the sake of this discussion, let's assume there's no third party involved. What would I do in this relationship? Is it possible for me to accept this relationship as it is?

Perhaps you might consider whether you would like to stay, leave, or perhaps try to improve the situation. If you feel that you would like to stay, it may be that this is a relationship that you are happy with as it is.

If it's time to move on, then there's nothing to say. Ending an uncomfortable relationship may be a bit of a challenge, just like you are now, but it will ultimately bring you happiness. If things are improving, then it may require a collaborative effort to make it last.

It's a challenging decision, and change can be a complex process.

It would be beneficial to consider how you feel in this situation. It seems that your classmate's influence may be having a negative effect on you.

It's understandable that you might not want to alienate your classmates because of the threats from others and join the ranks of the isolated classmates. It can feel like you've been kidnapped, and it can make you uncomfortable.

It is, unfortunately, impossible to please everyone. Inevitably, someone will be unhappy, and someone will get hurt.

It might be helpful to focus on your own feelings at this time. You might like to ask yourself what you want and what consequences you can bear.

In your description of the problem, you seem to feel a certain degree of discomfort when you get close to your classmates, and it's possible that you may also be isolated by others. When you get close to other people, you may experience a certain level of guilt about whether you are inadvertently causing them discomfort.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider that you are more concerned about others and may not always put your own feelings first. It's understandable to worry that you might be isolated by others, but it's also important to remember that you have the power to choose how you interact with others.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider your own needs and desires. It's worth noting that high school is a time for academic pursuits, and it's important to recognize that while it's natural to want to make friends, it's also essential to prioritize your studies.

It is certainly a bonus to meet friends who play well, but it is not a prerequisite for success in your studies.

It would be beneficial to have a good relationship with other people, and there will likely be someone who can offer guidance. Although it may be challenging to accept, it is important to remember that you have been warned in advance.

Ultimately, it is up to you to decide how you will respond.

I hope you will consider putting your feelings first and then see how to handle your relationship with your classmates and other students.

I am often inspired by Buddhist teachings and sometimes have a more pessimistic outlook, but I also try to be positive and motivated as a counselor. I truly love the world and all of you in it.

It is understandable that you feel conflicted and distressed in such a dilemma. First of all, it should be made clear that your desire to distance yourself from your classmate is not a sign of malice or betrayal. Rather, it is a natural response to the need to safeguard the emotional and interpersonal health of yourself.

This is a perfectly normal and worthy of respect situation.

It might be helpful to have an honest conversation with your classmate. Choose an appropriate time to express your concerns and the contradictions in the current relationship, while emphasizing your understanding and respect for her.

It might be helpful to try to avoid accusations and conflicts and instead try to solve problems with understanding and communication. Perhaps you could tell her about your concerns and confusions and see if you can find a common solution, such as maintaining a certain distance but keeping in constant contact.

It is also important to consider your own values and judgments, express them clearly, and make decisions that align with your inner self, even in the face of external pressure.

It is also important to consider the impact of your relationship with other students. If the majority of students have a negative perception of your classmate's behavior, maintaining an overly close relationship with them may inadvertently put you under pressure to isolate yourself.

It might be helpful to try to maintain good interactions with other classmates with whom you get along well, and to expand your social circle. This could help to reduce the impact of pressure from the class group.

It might also be helpful to consider your own learning and mental health. If your classmate's words and actions are preventing you from concentrating on your studies, it could be beneficial to adjust your relationship with her.

It may be helpful to consider maintaining your own judgment and values, and to try to avoid making choices that go against your inner self due to external pressure. It is thought that maintaining a balanced and healthy state of mind is essential for learning and growth.

If you would like to maintain a close relationship with your classmate without feeling isolated from the rest of the class, you might like to consider the following suggestions:

It is important to establish open communication with your classmates to gain a better understanding of each other's needs and expectations. Maintaining open communication channels with other class members is also beneficial in avoiding any misunderstandings or suspicions.

It is important to respect the differences between your desk mate and other class members. Even if you are close to your desk mate, it is still important to treat everyone equally and respect their views and positions.

It would be beneficial to participate in team activities. By actively taking part in team activities in the class or school, you can demonstrate a spirit of cooperation and a sense of teamwork. This will show other class members your friendliness and ability to work as a team, which could enhance mutual understanding and trust.

It is important to maintain an open and friendly attitude in public, while also being amiable when getting along with your desk mate. It is also beneficial to establish good relationships with other students, in order to avoid any impression of favoritism or exclusion.

It would be advisable to avoid forming cliques in the class and to be mindful of not alienating others because you are close to your desk mate. It would be beneficial to remain neutral and to maintain good relations with everyone to avoid division and confrontation between camps.

In general, dealing with complex interpersonal relationships requires patience and wisdom. It is important to keep a clear head and think rationally to find a solution that suits you, protects your interests, and avoids harming others as much as possible. I hope you can successfully navigate this difficult period, find your own balance, and continue to focus on your studies and personal growth.

Hi, I'm Coach Yu, and I'd like to talk to you about this topic.

First, let's talk about relationship-he-used-to-not-pay-attention-to-the-sense-of-boundaries-between-the-sexes-and-it-has-always-been-a-concern-for-me-what-should-i-do-4183.html" target="_blank">boundaries. It's important to know the boundaries of others and your own.

We don't have to accept everything about our classmates, just the parts that make us comfortable. And we can't expect our classmates to buy into everything we want. Finding a suitable middle ground is a good approach. We all have different things that we like and don't like, and that's what makes our classmates different from us.

Sometimes we don't want to offend others, sometimes we don't want to damage relationships, sometimes we avoid potential risks, and sometimes we feel that we are "overthinking" and "making a big deal out of it," ignoring signals that some boundaries have been violated. We are afraid to establish and maintain our own boundaries and don't want to protect ourselves.

As the original poster wrote, I gradually realized that I was often influenced by my classmate's words and became resistant to the people and things in the class. If I think about it calmly, I may not be so emotional if it is my own judgment. I want to keep my distance from her, but I am afraid of hurting her.

We can ask ourselves what we think about some of the things our colleague says and does, and what emotions and feelings they bring up in us.

We can also ask ourselves what we would say and what would happen if we responded to some of the words and actions of our classmate.

Don't rely on others to protect you. Based on the principle of subject separation, we can't control what others say or do, and we can't expect others to know how to behave. Instead, take the initiative to set your own boundaries and clearly express to others when you're being violated. If necessary, use some warning words and methods.

We can have an honest conversation with our classmate. First, we should tell her that we feel uncomfortable, especially with some negative comments and behaviors that we cannot accept. At the same time, we should tell her how much we value the friendship between classmates and hope that she can make some commitments and changes. This kind of communication can not only release our emotions, but also clearly inform the other person what to do.

Let's talk about emotions again. Emotions are made up of unique experiences, external signs, and physical responses. Each emotion may be an unmet internal need. When we don't get the promotion or pay raise we wanted, we feel sad; when we lose something we've kept for a long time, we feel angry.

We can ask ourselves what her inner need is for constantly venting her negative emotions.

We can also ask ourselves, what is it about ourselves that we don't want to get too close to? What is it about ourselves that we want to keep our distance from?

We can also think about what our ideal relationship with our classmates would be like and what we really need.

Once you know what you want, you can tell the difference between what you want and what others want you to want.

Once we know what we want, we'll be better able to identify what we need to reject. This process will help us reach a state of truth.

If this is an issue for you, it can be hard to overcome it straight away. It's a good idea to find someone you trust, like a family member or friend, to talk to. If you need more support, you can also look for a counselor. It's important to have someone you can talk to about your feelings.

We also need to affirm ourselves, empower ourselves, expand our knowledge, and enrich our inner being. When we do that, we'll be confident in making choices and facing them head-on.

I'd also suggest reading "The Courage to Be Disliked."

Hi, I'm happy to answer your question. I hope my suggestions will be helpful.

From what I've read, it seems like you're a kind kid who doesn't want to isolate yourself from your classmates. It's understandable that you don't want your emotions to be affected by the actions of one particular classmate.

First and foremost, our physical and mental health is the most important thing in school. If we feel that our emotions are affected by classmates, we can maintain a classmate relationship with them instead of a friend relationship.

Secondly, there's a difference between the reasons for and the effects of isolation. Not being able to make friends isn't the same as being isolated.

If a student's personality or habits make it difficult for others to want to be friends with him, then he will not be able to make friends. The reason he cannot make friends is not because the surrounding students do not want to be friends with him, but because they do not get along. At this time, the classmates in the class are actually not isolated, but they have their own friends and classmates they want to get along with.

We're not saying we shouldn't talk to this classmate or that the teacher should avoid telling him anything, saying bad things about him, or doing him harm. This could involve isolation or serious bullying at school.

If everyone thinks this classmate isn't someone I'd choose as a best friend, and that I'm just his classmate, then I won't be friends with him. Most students in the class feel the same way, and it's become a general feeling.

So, there's no need to blame ourselves. We just have different views on friendship, but we're definitely not motivated by any desire to harm Classmate A.

As a classmate, you can keep an eye on this student's emotional state. If there's a change after you've been isolated by your classmates or if communication has slowed down, you can let the teacher know right away. You can also suggest to your classmate that if he's having problems, he can get help from the school's mental health teacher.

If we're feeling uncomfortable during this process, we can also ask the mental health teacher for help in managing our emotions.

I hope that through some self-reflection and observation, you can find a way to get along with your classmates that works for you.

I love you, the world, and I'm rooting for you!