I can't help crying, and my mother tells me to be strong. How should I communicate with my mother?

Good day, question asker!

I am a Sun Dolphin floating ball, a psychological counselor.

?‍♂️After listening to your account, I believe that the education methods used in your family of origin may have resulted in some inappropriate education.

It seems that you were unable to fully separate your mental state from that of your mother during your adolescence. It is understandable that you still depend on her, but you have the capacity to face difficulties independently.

However, you do tend to complain to your mother. When your mother raises the issue,

You may find this difficult to accept, which is understandable given that you and your mother have not yet fully separated mentally. This can make it challenging to express your true feelings in front of her.

Your behavior may give your mother the impression that you have not yet grown up, which could be why she is saying these things to you.

?‍♂️From what you've shared, it seems like you have a generally positive relationship with your parents. However, it's important to acknowledge that your mother had to balance caring for you and your younger brother with her own responsibilities to make ends meet.

It is understandable that a mother with limited time and resources may not be able to provide the emotional support her children need.

Given her circumstances, it's understandable that she might have had to prioritize her work over her children's needs. This has unfortunately led to a situation where you are in great need of your mother's company.

During adolescence, it is not uncommon for there to be less time spent with parents.

It seems that you may not have completed the stage of mental weaning, which could be contributing to the awkward situation where you're unsure of how to get along with your mother after becoming an adult.

It would be beneficial to talk to your mother about any problems you may have, but perhaps it would be helpful to try to calm down your emotions a bit first.

Perhaps it would be helpful to calmly describe the events and show the atmosphere. Mum may just laugh.

When you talk to your mother, you might consider telling her about the way you dealt with it. It might be best to avoid crying.

It might be perceived as immaturity if you cry with your mother, as there may have been insufficient time to spend with her during puberty.

It's possible that your mother hasn't had the chance to experience your growth in the same way as you have. This could mean that the parent-child relationship between you may still be in a somewhat childlike state.

It might be the case that whenever you cry, your mother thinks you haven't grown up yet.

You can share with your mother both positive and negative experiences. You can also narrate as usual.

It would be best to try to control your emotions and avoid crying in front of your mother again. This way, your mother may feel that you have grown up and are no longer the little child who cries at the slightest thing.

Perhaps she could also comfort you in a different way. It might be worth trying.

If you find yourself frequently running into obstacles, it's natural to turn to your mother for guidance. While you may have found a solution on your own, it's understandable that you still felt a sense of injustice. It's okay to express your emotions, even if it means crying.

It might give your mother the impression that you haven't yet grown up. It's possible that she'll think more about it.

It might be helpful to pay more attention to yourself. Over time, it could even lead to a sense of guilt, regretting that you were not there for yourself during your critical period of growth.

I'm not sure that's what you want to see, whether you can maintain a close relationship with your mother.

I just wanted to remind you to try not to get too emotional. I really do believe you can do it.

I believe you can do it. Come on.

I believe that the world is a wonderful place, and I love you.

Hello, question asker!

I read your question and I'm excited to help! I don't know how old you are or how many years you've worked, but I can see that you've had some challenges in the past two years. And with the pandemic, I imagine work has become more challenging. It's totally normal to feel down when things don't go well at work. But don't worry, I'm here to help!

When we encounter difficulties at work, especially when we are far away from home, we will of course tell our mothers about our hardships. Even if we are not getting along well with our parents, we will still go home to complain when we encounter difficulties. And that's a good thing! It means we have a support system in place to turn to when we need it.

So when we encounter problems outside, of course the first thing we think of is to tell our mother. I think your mother should feel very comforted that you can tell her, even though you are complaining about your work and expressing your dissatisfaction with tears. So I am a little confused, why do you tell your mother that you have to be strong? You have to face difficulties and solve them yourself. You are not a child anymore, and these words have created psychological pressure in your own heart. But here's the good news! You are strong, and you can do this! You can face these difficulties and you can solve them. You are not a child anymore, and you can make your own decisions. You can tell your mother that you are strong and you can do this. You can tell her that you are an adult and you can face these difficulties. You can tell her that you are not a child anymore and you can make your own decisions. You can tell her that you are strong and you can do this. You can tell her that you are an adult and you can face these difficulties. You can tell her that you are not a child anymore and you can make your own decisions. You can tell

I think I know what's going on here! It seems like you feel that your dormitory has caused your mother some not-so-happy feelings, and you're ready to take control and solve the problem on your own! You might feel like if you tell your mother about your dissatisfaction, you'll have the chance to say sorry to her. After all, as you've said before, your mother works really hard for you and your younger brother!

I've done my analysis, and I'm excited to tell you that you're a kind child! You're kind, so you're willing to talk to your mother and you're not going to add to her burden. So what should you do in this dilemma? Let me share my views based on my personal experience!

First of all, I think that if you want to tell your mother something, just tell her! If you want to cry and express yourself, just do it! It doesn't matter when, children are children. Children can be very strong in the outside world, in front of other people, but they will be especially soft when they see their mothers. We can tell our mothers about the grievances we have suffered in the outside world. Once we have told them, our pain will be halved! After we have released our emotions, it will be beneficial for our future lives!

Once we've told our mother, we can find the strength we need to draw from her response. For example, if your mother says you've grown up, that you need to be strong and overcome difficulties on your own, these are all facts! We have grown up, we have always wanted to be strong, we have always wanted to overcome difficulties on our own, and we want to get motivated by our mother's expectations to face the future. I don't know if you've thought about this, but it's a great way to look at it!

Mommy may not be the best at expressing herself, but she believes in the excellence of her child. And that's a wonderful thing! After crying, your child will definitely face the difficulties on his own. I hope that next time you talk to your mother, you can be more honest with her. That's the best way to show her how you feel! You can tell her what you are thinking now, and you can apologize to her. You feel that crying and expressing yourself in this way is not good for her, and you don't want to tell her the truth like this. I think it's okay. Mommy may not be very good at expressing herself, but she believes in the excellence of her child. And that's something to be proud of! After crying, your child will definitely face the difficulties on his own. I hope that next time you talk to your mother, you can be more honest with her. That's the best way to show her how you feel! You can tell her what you are thinking now, and you can apologize to her. You feel that crying and expressing yourself in this way is not good for her, and you don't want to tell her the truth like this. I think it's okay.

Next, I've got some great advice for you! Start communicating with your mother more often. Don't wait until you have a problem to tell her. I've noticed that you've done this a couple of times in the past two years. From your description of the problem, I understand that you only go to your mother when you are unhappy at work. But there's no need for that! If you communicate with your mother more often, tell her about the happy things, the usual things, and the unhappy things. I'm sure your heart will feel better. You'll see that expressing yourself is a great thing. Give it a try!

I truly believe that mothers are unconditional and love you. This means that no matter how much you are aggrieved outside, you can find energy at home. Your mother is a big support at home, a place where you can rest whenever you are tired. Let me whisper a secret to you: I am just like this mother, and my baby is just like you. Outside, too, there are all kinds of disappointments. Anyway, as a mother, I love my child living far away unconditionally, but sometimes because of the distance, I really can't help, and I can only pray in my heart that my child will have a better and better life away from home.

Living far away is hard enough as it is, so don't think too much about it. You can always talk to your mother, just like when you were little, and just act cute. I believe that you have the foundation of getting along well with your parents, and you will definitely get through this difficult time. Come on, kiddo! You've got this!

The world and I love you!

Hello!

Host:

After reading the post, I could really feel the conflict and confusion in the poster's heart from the content. At the same time, I also noticed that the poster has bravely expressed his own distress and actively sought help on the platform, which will undoubtedly help the poster better understand and recognize himself, so that he can make appropriate adjustments.

I'd love to share my observations and thoughts from the post, which I hope will help you to look at the situation from a more diverse perspective.

1. Take a moment to observe how your mother deals with her negative emotions.

From what you've shared, I've noticed that over the past year or so, whenever you've faced challenges at work, you've found yourself turning to your mother for comfort. I can imagine it's been tough. Your mother's advice to "be strong" and "face difficulties and overcome them on your own" must have been difficult to hear.

This has happened a couple of times. From this information, we can see that when the hostess is feeling emotional, your mother's emotional response to you

It seems like your mom might have some trouble empathizing with you or comforting you. Is that right? If so, we can definitely think about how we can take care of ourselves in these situations.

I think it would be really helpful for the host to observe how his mother deals with her negative emotions. What does she do when faced with negative emotions?

This is a great way to get to know your mom better and think about how she handles her feelings. It's also a good time to think about whether she has the tools to deal with negative emotions. If she doesn't know how to handle her own feelings or understand her own emotions, it can be hard for her to know how to face you or help you when you're feeling down. What do you think?

So, when your mom tells you to be strong, you can think about whether she's expecting you to be independent or if she's avoiding her own emotions in this way.

2. It would be really helpful for you to learn some methods and techniques for dealing with your emotions.

In the post, the original poster mentioned that they didn't know how to communicate with their mother. I know that crying is not always the best way to express yourself, and I also know that we all have to deal with and face many things on our own. What I can see from this information is that the original poster understands on a rational level that we are all adults who have grown up and joined the workforce, and that we have to learn to deal with certain things on our own.

It's just that, on an emotional level, we've been wronged in society and at work, or we want to get an understanding and comfort from our family. This is actually a normal emotional reaction, especially for the first few years of work. I think the original poster is also aware that family members may not be able to give you a lot of empathy and comfort, which is totally understandable!

At this time, it can really help to learn how to be kind to ourselves. We can do this by taking a moment to understand our own feelings and needs. If you're feeling down, it can be really helpful to reach out to friends or resources who can empathize with you. But remember, you know yourself best. You know what kind of comfort and companionship you need most.

It's so important to learn to comfort ourselves and to find ways to get along with negative emotions. One really helpful thing you can do is keep an emotion diary, where you write down your emotions and feelings. It's a great way to sort through your emotions and often helps you feel better. Another thing you can do is relax your body to relieve your emotions.

It's totally normal to have physical reactions when we're feeling emotions. Some people get that uncomfortable feeling in their hearts when they're feeling anxious.

So when the host is emotional, you can feel your body to see which part is uncomfortable, and then focus on the uncomfortable part. It's amazing how much better you'll feel after a few minutes! If you're interested, you can read "The Body Knows the Answer" by Wu Zhihong.

3. Let's express our feelings and requests!

Moms are superstars, but they can only do so much. Sometimes, we just need to ask them to spend a little extra time with us. So, how do we communicate that?

I think we could try expressing our feelings and requests. But first, we need to make sure we understand what our feelings are.

And what kind of comfort do we need from our mothers, or what kind of comfort can our mothers do? So, let's express our feelings and then ask our mothers to do what they can, etc.

For example, some mothers may not be the best at talking, but they're amazing at comforting with actions and physical hugs! So, the original poster, you express your feelings and then ask your mother to do something she can do.

This is also a great way to find comfort. If you're interested in learning more about communication, I'd also suggest checking out "Nonviolent Communication."

I really hope these ideas will be helpful and inspiring for you! If you have any questions, you can also click to find a coach for one-on-one communication, companionship, and growth.

I'm happy to have this opportunity to share my views with you.

"I find myself crying, and my mother encourages me to be strong. How can I best communicate with her?"

I believe it would be beneficial for us to try to understand this matter from our mother's perspective. Once you understand your mother's thoughts, you will naturally know how to express yourself to her.

When you express your difficulties at work to your mother and become emotional, she may experience a range of emotions herself. It's possible that she may feel sad for your sadness, even if there's no apparent reason. This is understandable, given her love and care for you.

Then she may feel a sense of responsibility for your situation, and may even blame herself for not being able to take care of you and protect you, and for making you have to face all these troubles. She wants to tell you that if you're not happy doing something, it might be best to consider a different path. She knows she can't say that because you have your own life and your own pursuits.

She is eager to assist you in analyzing the challenges you face at work, weighing the advantages and disadvantages, and offering practical guidance. However, she realizes that she may not fully comprehend the nuances of the workplace.

She wants to help you work through your difficulties at work so that you can feel better, but she is worried that this might make your negative emotions worse and make you resent your job.

Ultimately, she also faced significant challenges, and she was unsure of the best course of action. She was overwhelmed by a range of complex emotions, which led her to offer advice that you heard: be strong, learn to face difficulties and overcome them on your own.

And you feel sad and aggrieved because you wish your mother could do more for you. It would be helpful if she could listen to you patiently, if she could just hold you when you lose your voice and cry, or even if she didn't have to say anything at all.

Do you think this wish or request is too much? I don't believe it is, but for a mother who is dedicated to providing for her family and creating a better life, it may seem like a lot to ask. Not everyone is a psychologist, and not everyone can accept other people's emotions in the most suitable way. What do you think?

Perhaps it would be helpful for the original poster to try expressing their thoughts and feelings more directly to their mother. They could say something like, "I just want someone to listen to me. I want my emotions to be seen, because it helps me to talk about it and cry. It doesn't mean I'm weak, and it doesn't mean I'm going to avoid those difficulties. After talking about it and crying, I can face those difficulties better, because your listening and acceptance will give me strength."

My name is Xiao Dong, and I'm a psychological counselor. I hope you have a happy life!