I can't see myself clearly. Can people really be so changeable?

Hello, I'm Zeyu.

"I can't see myself clearly. Can people really change?" People can change. It's a natural ability.

The questioner describes a blind date and ends with a question. This shows they're unsure if it's a good or bad choice. In the second paragraph, the questioner talks about their attitude and the situation. They point out the internal complexity.

Going on a blind date tests our standards and how we make trade-offs. When we waver, it's because we lack an attitude and decision regarding this matter.

If we feel unable to achieve freedom, it's because we've been unable to control our own choices in the past. But we will change and grow. If we don't believe we can have freedom, we'll stay the same. To make a change, we need to step out of our comfort zone and take the first step.

We are fickle when making choices. This may be because we cannot take responsibility. We cannot see ourselves clearly. This is a stage in our lives. We are born without knowing what we need to do. We choose to follow existing experiences or external standards to perform tasks. We do this to prevent "irreparable damage." However, we cannot maintain this for a long time. We will feel changeable or fickle.

This change is the result of our attempts to make mistakes. We will adjust our perspective and the way we solve problems. We cannot see ourselves clearly because we are adjusting. We should give ourselves time to adapt and understand our thoughts.

A hug for you first!

It's normal to feel confused when faced with life's choices. The issues you mentioned reflect the challenges of self-identity, life direction, and emotional needs in today's globalized world.

The choice of marriage partner is personal. Appearance and family background are important, but the most important thing is the emotional connection and matching of values.

You already have your own judgment and choice. It is important that you face your feelings and understand what you really need.

Everyone feels lost and uncertain sometimes. Each stage of life has its own challenges and opportunities. Self-awareness is a continuous process.

You said you can't see yourself clearly, which is not uncommon. Many people feel this way at different stages of their lives. It takes time and experience to accumulate, and it also takes courage to face your inner voice.

If you think psychological treatment could help, it's a personal choice.

Psychotherapy is not shameful. It is a process of self-understanding and growth.

Your fast-paced life and high stress levels may be affecting your memory.

Relaxing and reducing stress can help improve memory.

People react differently in different situations. This is part of what makes life interesting.

It's important to recognize this change and find a lifestyle that's comfortable for you.

The decision to go to Guangzhou is important. It's about personal development and life choices. Choose a path that's in line with your goals.

Your happiness is the most important thing.

Your confusion and struggles are normal. Life is a journey of learning and growing.

Be honest and caring towards yourself.

Dear Questioner, My name is Duoduo Lian, and I hope my reply will be of assistance to you.

You have not yet reached the age at which you are expected to be independent, but you are already at the stage of life where you are expected to be dating. As time passes, you will reach the stage of life where you have parents, a country, peace, a job, and you will tell yourself that you are very happy. What are you looking for? It seems that you do not have any memories of the past, and that is also a positive thing. How many people are not living in the past or the future?

It is challenging to see oneself clearly. How many people can see themselves clearly? The norm in life is to work to earn money and support one's family. However, this is not the case. People have been living, playing, and enjoying the present for many years, especially during the pandemic.

The depressive episode that occurred during adolescence seems to have been forgotten, not because it was intentionally ignored, but because the individual no longer experiences happiness. Human nature is to avoid pain and remember happiness. There is a reason why a happy childhood has a lasting impact. A child who is well-cared for by others is full of motivation. Do you agree?

The commitment to return to school to learn a new skill is a radical decision. It requires a shift in mindset, from fear to determination, and from doubt to belief in one's abilities. Actions speak louder than words, and the courage to take action is a powerful force. Understanding one's own strengths and limitations is essential for navigating change. Doubt can impede progress, but it can also be a catalyst for growth. Change can happen in an instant.

It is also necessary to open the sealed memories. What are the concerns, what is being forgotten, what is the significance of this memory, and what is the reason for the reluctance to meet? These questions must be asked of oneself.

Take the initiative and act in accordance with your own values. Life is a process of experience, and you will gain valuable insights through this process. You care about your relationship with your family, but you are experiencing feelings of loneliness, your thoughts are often scattered, and you have a persistent inner voice. This is also your way of dealing with loneliness. Do you agree?

Additionally, you can allow yourself to relax, be alone with your thoughts, enjoy the connection with your heart, and reconnect with your true self. It is important to recognize that your partner may not have been as attentive as you would have liked for a long time. It is understandable that she may not know how to treat you correctly, but she may be ready to move forward. Your heart has been waiting for you, and it is time for her to come home.

Best regards,

It's totally normal for our minds to be complex and changeable. We often have different thoughts and feelings at different times and in different situations. It's all part and parcel of life!

When it comes to dating and relationships, it's so important to remember that this is a very personal decision. Marriage and family are such important parts of life, but they're not something everyone has to pursue.

It's so important to find a lifestyle that suits you, whether you're single, in a relationship, or married. If you're feeling confused or unsure, try to get to know yourself better and explore your values and life goals.

Self-knowledge is a wonderful journey of discovery. There are so many ways you can help yourself to better understand yourself:

1. **Self-reflection**: Take some time for yourself to think about your feelings, thoughts, and desires. You can do this by keeping a diary, meditating, or talking to a trusted friend.

2. Set goals! Think about what you want to achieve in the future, both professionally and in your personal life.

3. **Try new things**: You never know until you try! By trying new activities and hobbies, you can get a better idea of your interests and passions.

4. **Professional counseling**: If you feel confused or need help, don't hesitate to reach out to a counselor. They're there to provide professional guidance and support.

5. Be patient! Understanding yourself is a continuous process, and there's no need to rush. Give yourself time and space to explore and grow.

It's up to you whether you want to seek psychological treatment. If you feel that inner confusion and stress are affecting your daily life, then it might be a good idea to speak to a professional.

Remember, every life is different, and that's a beautiful thing! There's no one way to live your life, and there's no set path you have to follow. The most important thing is to find a way of life that makes your heart sing and puts a smile on your face.

Good day, question asker.

The subject is perplexed by her own behavior. At times, she exhibits fickleness and immaturity, yet she is compelled to conduct herself in a mature manner. She is experiencing a sense of disorientation and fatigue.

When an individual is unable to overcome a challenge, their cognitive processes may become fixed, leading to the development of a psychological trauma.

Although the outward manifestations of adolescent repression have dissipated, they persist in the subconscious.

Your aspirations remain submerged in the subconscious.

The ideal self is not congruent with the current self.

It appears that your lifestyle has been shaped by societal and familial expectations, with a tendency to prioritize the needs and desires of others. However, it seems that this aligns with your current expectations, which may not fully align with your actual desires.

One might inquire as to the desired nature of one's life.

The question thus arises as to whether the subject has matured or whether she remains the same immature individual she was in her youth.

If you were to encounter the adolescent girl you once were, what would you say to her?

If one could reverse the passage of time, how would one go about achieving one's dreams? What actions could be taken in the present moment?

When one is able to live in accordance with one's own values and aspirations, a state of fulfillment and relaxation is attained, and the probability of encountering an individual with whom one shares a similar frequency is increased.

The decision to go to Guangzhou for a blind date is ultimately a personal one. It is not necessary to consider the opinions of others in this matter. What is of greater consequence is that the individual in question is aware that they are acting in accordance with their own desires and motivations.

One need not concern oneself unduly with the opinions of others.

The question of whether one is attracted to the person one is dating is a separate issue.

This is a separate issue, however, that requires further discussion.

Should you be interested in pursuing a relationship with this individual, it would be advisable to relocate to the city in which he is employed and to focus on developing your career.

It is this author's sincere hope that you will live your life in accordance with your true self.

Please extend a gesture of support to the individual in question.

It is not uncommon to feel uncertain about one's future and direction in life. Many individuals experience this confusion at some point in their lives.

First and foremost, it is important to note that a blind date does not necessarily imply a long-term commitment. It can also serve as an opportunity to expand one's social circle. If there is a positive rapport with the individual in question, it is advisable to pursue further interaction to ascertain whether there are shared interests and values.

However, decisions should not be made lightly due to external expectations or pressure, and personal feelings should be respected.

Secondly, each individual possesses their own unique inner world, and there are occasions when it is beneficial to dedicate time and space to exploring and understanding oneself. One can enhance their quality of life through activities such as reading, writing, traveling, and so on. Additionally, seeking guidance from psychological counseling or self-exploration courses can prove advantageous in developing a deeper understanding of oneself.

In conclusion, it is important to be mindful of self-criticism. The human mind and emotions are complex, and there may be instances when we are unable to fully comprehend our own thoughts and feelings.

This does not indicate that you have a problem or require psychological treatment. It simply means that you require additional time and experience to identify your own direction.

It is important to remember that life is a journey, and that we are all constantly growing and changing. There is no need to be afraid of trying new things or making mistakes. It is crucial to trust your instincts and feelings, as this will enable you to discover what you truly want over time.

It is not uncommon to feel uncertain about one's future and direction in life. Many individuals experience this confusion at some point in their lives.

First and foremost, it is important to note that a blind date does not necessarily lead to marriage. It can also serve as an opportunity to expand one's social circle. If there is a positive rapport with the individual on a blind date, it may be beneficial to pursue further interaction to ascertain whether there are shared interests and values.

However, do not make decisions hastily due to the expectations or pressure of others, and respect your own feelings.

Secondly, it is important to recognise that everyone has their own inner world, and that there may be occasions when it is beneficial to take time out to explore and gain a deeper understanding of oneself. This can be achieved through a variety of activities, including reading, writing, travelling and so on. Alternatively, it may be helpful to consider seeking the guidance of a professional counsellor or engaging in a self-exploration course, with the aim of developing a more comprehensive understanding of oneself.

In conclusion, it is important to maintain a healthy level of self-compassion. The human mind and emotions are complex, and there may be instances when we do not fully comprehend our own thoughts and feelings.

This does not indicate that you are experiencing a problem or require psychological treatment. Rather, it suggests that you may benefit from additional time and experience to identify your own direction.

Gaining an understanding of oneself is a process that requires time and effort. The following suggestions are designed to assist in this endeavor.

1. Reflect on your actions and thoughts.

One way to gain insight into your habits, values, and interests is to keep a diary and reflect on your daily actions and decisions.

2. Diversify your experiences.

Engaging in new activities, hobbies, or challenging one's comfort zone can facilitate the discovery of potential abilities and interests.

3. Communicate with others:

Discuss your feelings and experiences with friends, family, or a counselor. They may be able to provide new perspectives and suggestions.

4. Gain an understanding of psychology.

Gaining an understanding of fundamental psychological concepts and techniques, such as emotion management and self-awareness, can facilitate more effective self- and interpersonal understanding.

5. Monitor your body's reactions.

Our bodies often reflect our inner state. For example, when we are nervous, our hearts may beat faster and our palms may sweat.

By monitoring your body's responses, you can gain deeper insight into your emotional state and underlying needs.

6. Cultivate self-awareness.

It is important to be mindful of your inner feelings and emotional changes at all times, and to develop the ability to observe your own thinking and behavior patterns.

7. Accept your imperfections.

It is important to recognize that everyone has their own set of strengths and weaknesses. It is essential to accept your imperfections, maintain a healthy level of self-compassion, and develop a sense of self-love.

It is important to remember that life is a journey, and that we are all constantly growing and changing. It is crucial to embrace new experiences and to learn from mistakes.

Trust your instincts and feelings. With time, you will gain insight into your true objectives. It is essential to understand that a certain amount of time and patience is required, and that hasty decisions should be avoided. Through consistent exploration and learning, you will gradually become more aware of your needs, values, and life goals.

It is important to note that one is not alone in navigating the complexities of life and the accompanying inner turmoil. Many individuals confront similar challenges during their personal growth journeys, and this is a natural aspect of maturation.

One's feelings, hesitations, and explorations are all legitimate and contribute to the formation of a unique life trajectory.

Firstly, with regard to the matter of dating and partners, it is crucial to recognise that this is an important decision which should not be based on external pressure or a transient sense of loneliness. It is important to understand that one's happiness and satisfaction can be derived from a multitude of sources, including one's personal growth, career, family and friends.

A partner should serve as a companion on one's life journey, rather than being a sole source of sustenance. If one perceives the other person to be sincere and trustworthy, then the relationship can be cultivated and fostered over time.

Secondly, with regard to the matter of self-awareness, this constitutes a profound exploration process. The fact that one's inner voice is active and noisy indicates that one is engaged in the process of thinking and searching for one's own direction.

This is indicative of self-growth. One may endeavor to gain a deeper understanding of oneself by maintaining a diary, engaging in discourse with a trusted individual, or seeking the guidance of a professional counselor.

It is important to note that the process of understanding oneself is an ongoing one, and there is no need to hasten its pace.

With regard to one's aspirations and objectives, the mere fact that they have been temporarily set aside does not signify a lack of interest or motivation. It is not uncommon for individuals to reassess and adapt their goals and aspirations as they navigate the various stages of life.

A design journey in Guangzhou, whether for professional or personal growth, is a worthwhile pursuit.

In conclusion, the subject's malleable character and lapses in memory are intrinsic aspects of his personality. It is inherent to human nature for emotional and cognitive processes to fluctuate over time and in response to external stimuli.

Should the necessity arise, it would be advisable to seek the assistance of a counselor. They are able to provide guidance that can facilitate a deeper understanding of oneself and the attainment of inner peace.

It is important to remember that each individual's life trajectory is distinct and that there is no singular, predetermined model that applies universally. The emotional experiences, decision-making processes, and actions that an individual engages in are all deserving of respect.

It is important to allow oneself sufficient time and space to make decisions without undue haste. By developing trust in one's own judgment, it becomes possible to identify a path that is authentically one's own.

Good day, my name is Gu Daoxi Feng Shoulu, and I am a heart coach.

It can be challenging to identify your own needs when life's circumstances seem to cloud your vision. I empathize with the questioner's feelings, and I'm here to offer a supportive gesture of understanding and encouragement.

It is often said that every experience offers us an opportunity to learn and grow. Our experiences, education, and way of thinking all shape the quality of our thinking. Thus, the journey from ignorance to maturity is a continuous process of enhancing our cognitive abilities.

There is a saying that listening to others' advice can lead to a full stomach. This is particularly true when the advice is something they repeat to you every day, as it can be easier to influence your thinking. This may explain why the questioner was influenced (and agreed with their parents' thinking).

The psychology of conformity quiz: A psychologist posed a question to 10 people, 9 of whom were assistants and only 1 of whom was the actual test subject. The psychologist drew three lines of different lengths (a, b, and c), and then drew a line (x) that was the same length as b. Then he asked everyone, "Which line is the same length as x?"

The subject indicated that the answer was "B." The assistants responded that the X-ray was as long as the A-ray.

It would seem that the subject began to doubt his answer, repeatedly confirming the length of the X-ray, and finally gave the same answer as the assistants: the X-ray was as long as the A-ray. This information was sourced from the Internet.

It is often observed that emotions can be contagious, whether they are sad or happy. Even if we do not actively seek to do so, the happy emotions of others can be transmitted to us, which can help to relax our tense mood. This may be a factor that explains why the questioner, when she saw her sister laughing heartily, also joined in the atmosphere.

The questioner may wish to consider following the voice of their heart and exploring their own aspirations.

Could I just check why you thought the questioner was there to see the matchmaking partner? I may have misunderstood, but I thought you designed it later.

Could it be that the questioner has reservations about blind dates, but feels obliged to go through with them, which intensifies the emotions associated with this situation? Would it be more reassuring for the questioner to acknowledge both going to a blind date and going to a design exhibition?

It is worth noting that even impressive and skilful actions require deliberate practice to perfect. It is not uncommon to find it challenging to recall everyday details with clarity.

It might be helpful for the questioner to consider that humans have both short-term and long-term memories. Our short-term and unintentional memories may be clear for a short period of time, but they will gradually become vague over time. The questioner may find it beneficial to take a look at Ebbinghaus's forgetting curve, which may help the questioner understand their own memory patterns and reduce self-doubt.

When we turn feelings into actions, we may feel less fear because we can focus on the task at hand. I myself experience a certain level of panic before getting into the car, but once I'm in, I tend to stop thinking about it.

It can be challenging to accept a life that is arranged for us. For instance, if our parents arrange for us to go on a blind date or do our homework, these are not necessarily things we would choose to do wholeheartedly. We may feel confused and passive, which is a relatively normal reaction. It's possible that the questioner may not have to doubt themselves.

The worldly definition of standards may not align with our personal definition of happiness. It's important to recognize that there's no wrong or right answer. Everyone's journey is unique, and there's no need to feel confused or inadequate. It's essential to listen to your inner voice, ask yourself what you truly want, and follow your heart. This can help you feel more empowered and in control of your life.

It might be helpful to try to accept yourself. When we are always in a bad mood, it could be because we are not fully accepting of our own state, are dissatisfied with the future, and there is a mismatch between the ideal self and the real self. The questioner may find it beneficial to start by trying to accept themselves, which could help them feel more compatible.

You might find it helpful to keep an emotional diary to gain a deeper understanding of your emotions. This can assist you in adjusting your state, recognizing issues, and making targeted adjustments.

Perhaps it would be helpful to remind yourself that you are the master of your own life and believe that you have the ability to manage your own happiness. This may make us more willing to take action and reduce the sense of powerlessness of being arranged.

You might find it helpful to read "Living a Life Where You Don't Call the Shots" and "Finding Your Place in the World."

I hope this message finds you well. Please accept my best regards.

Good day, inquirer. You have repeatedly stated that you are unable to perceive yourself with clarity, a sentiment that resonates with me. I must acknowledge that despite my greater age, I occasionally experience a similar difficulty in perceiving myself with precision.

An examination of your narrative reveals that each age is associated with a distinct set of challenges. The confusion and bewilderment you describe are common experiences among individuals at that developmental stage, and they are no less profound than yours.

The other day, I accompanied a friend to Sichuan University. On a whim, I decided to experience the student cafeteria, so we borrowed a card to swipe and sat down to eat with the college students. At that moment, I experienced a profound sense of envy towards them. They were young and energetic, with a promising future, while I had very little of my own youth left, and I couldn't help but feel a little lost.

In that moment, as I traversed the university campus, I reflected on the carefree nature of my younger self and the carefree nature of my younger peers, who were confident in their future prospects. However, this confidence was not entirely genuine. During that period, I experienced similar levels of worry, confusion, and uncertainty as my peers do now.

The period of youth is a valuable asset. Initially, we lacked an understanding of this concept. However, after experiencing a number of challenges and eventually achieving stability, we came to recognize the significance of having capital while still young.

At that time, it would have been possible to live a happier and more outgoing life. However, at that time, the majority of us were ignorant and timid. Due to a lack of sufficient life experience and a lack of improvement in our understanding, regardless of how much we talk, it is merely other people's experience.

2. The Johari Window, a concept derived from the field of psychology, delineates four distinct categories of interpersonal communication information. These categories are based on two fundamental dimensions: "what you know and what you don't know" and "what others know and what others don't know." The first category, the open area, encompasses information that is known to both the individual and others. The second category, the blind area, represents a blind spot where the individual may be unaware of certain information, although it may be known to others. The third category, the hidden area, contains information that is known only to the individual. Finally, the unknown area encompasses information that neither the individual nor others possess knowledge of.

The open area encompasses information that is known to both the individual and others. The blind area represents a blind spot where the individual is unaware of something that others may be aware of, such as a character flaw.

The hidden zone contains information that is known only to the individual, such as personal wishes, secrets, preferences, and dislikes. The unknown zone contains information that is not known to the individual or anyone else. One can gain a deeper understanding of this information through chance encounters or through taking action.

Through constant introspection and self-examination, individuals can expand the open area of their knowledge, reduce the extent of the blind area, explore the unknown area, and safeguard the hidden area, thereby facilitating a more comprehensive and nuanced understanding of themselves. Consequently, the process of self-exploration is a lifelong and ongoing endeavor, and it is not unexpected that individuals may encounter limitations in their ability to perceive themselves with complete clarity.

3. Therefore, how might one gain a more accurate self-perception? It seems that a more effective approach would be to reduce the amount of time spent engaged in cognitive processes and instead direct one's attention towards action.

In the event that one is not satisfied with the person with whom one is currently in a romantic relationship, it would be prudent to respect one's feelings and to seek out a new romantic partner. Absent a few genuine, authentic relationships, it is challenging to ascertain the type of person one truly desires and the kind of person who is genuinely compatible with one.

In any relationship, the most crucial element is one's emotional state. As previously stated, there was a notable shift in emotional response, whereby an initial state of fear and anxiety about driving was replaced by a sense of courage and self-assurance. This exemplifies the capacity for individuals to draw upon their inner strength and resilience in the face of challenges.

It is recommended that you be courageous and explore your relationship together.

American psychologist Carl Rogers' theory of personality states that self-concept is the core of personality development and the source of strength and happiness in life.

There are three key factors here: authenticity, positive value, and consistency.

When it comes to authenticity, it's all about being true to yourself. It's about seeing yourself as you really are, without any masks or hypocrisy. And when it comes to positive value, it's about recognizing your worth and appreciating yourself for who you are.

Consistency refers to whether an individual's self-awareness is consistent and coherent, not contradictory and inconsistent.

Rogers also mentioned some concepts about the self, such as self-integrity, self-renewal, and self-acceptance, which I will not go into here.

I don't have to use so many technical terms here. If you pay attention, you'll see that these key words highlight the importance of developing oneself. This also confirms what we often say: "losing oneself."

Your self-awareness is vague.

You lack knowledge and experience of your own physical and mental states as a whole, and you don't have a true vision of yourself.

Your parents told you to go on a blind date, and you went.

Your younger sister laughed, and you agreed, albeit reluctantly.

You don't know what to do or what you want to do. You have no desires.

You are, in fact, in a state of "losing yourself."

You need to discover yourself and value yourself. Figure out who you really are, where you came from, and where you should go.

It's likely a combination of your family environment and your experiences.

Your personality has stagnated at a certain stage. You haven't developed and grown enough, which has put you in a chaotic state.

From today onwards, you must care for yourself, love yourself more, engage in some self-hypnosis, care more about the little child within, and find out her real needs.

Take care of her, protect her, warm her, and meet her needs.

You must first warm yourself up and satisfy your needs for love and value before you can care for others.

You should definitely go to a psychologist.

I strongly believe that you will benefit a great deal from psychological counseling, which is designed to help individuals develop, improve, and realize themselves.