I choose to forgive, but there is always a sense of "failure" lingering in my heart. What should I do?

Question asker, I get it. Family pressure and expectations can really take a toll. Here are a few suggestions to help you cope with your current situation:

First of all, if you're dealing with weight and appearance issues, you can try talking to your parents about it. Let them know you're aware of your weight problem and that you're trying to improve.

At the same time, you can also remind them that focusing too much on appearance isn't healthy. When you're communicating, try to stay calm and think things through. Avoid getting too emotional.

Second, when it comes to work and success, you can try to set some practical and achievable goals and work hard to achieve them. It doesn't matter how big or small the goal is, as long as you're moving forward, you're moving towards success.

At the same time, you should also learn to accept your shortcomings and failures, learn from them, and constantly improve yourself. Remember, success doesn't happen overnight; it takes time and effort.

When it comes to marriage, you can try to understand and observe happy marriage cases around you and learn from them how to run a good marriage. At the same time, you should also realize that everyone's situation is different, so don't be too anxious or worried.

When you meet the right person, you can try to build a solid emotional connection and work together to manage it.

Finally, when it comes to image management, you can try making simple changes, like choosing clothes and hairstyles that suit you or maintaining good hygiene habits. Over time, you'll notice your image improving and your self-confidence growing.

In short, when it comes to family pressures and expectations, you need to learn to communicate, set goals, work hard to improve yourself, and maintain a positive attitude. I believe you will be able to overcome your current difficulties and live the life you want.

From what the questioner has told us, it seems like he's really struggling with some inner conflicts. On the one hand, he wants to make some changes and become more capable and successful. But on the other hand, he's doubting himself and questioning his abilities. This is really holding him back and making it harder for him to succeed. But it's also good to know that he's lost weight, which is a great start. It shows that he has the ability to make changes and succeed. He just needs to believe in himself a bit more.

It seems like the questioner might be overlooking her own abilities a bit. It's also possible that she's putting her parents in an unhappy marriage and thinking that if her parents can't manage their marriage well, she "must" also be unable to do so. It's great that the questioner still has a lot of "faith" in herself! It's just a matter of trusting herself to be able to do it, not trusting herself to be "unable to do it."

Maybe the questioner doesn't realize that their parents' marriage is their business. Just because they can't manage it well doesn't mean the questioner's marriage will also be a failure. They are different people, and the questioner is the questioner. Their respective thoughts, behaviors, and approaches to life naturally lead to different results. Even though they haven't managed their marriage well, they are still living together, which shows that they still have deep feelings for each other and are not completely unhappy.

I think there might be a little bit of a dilemma going on in the questioner's heart. It's possible that if their marriage is managed well, they might feel like they're betraying their parents. It's also possible that they feel like their parents aren't as competent as they are, and that they're better than their parents. I know this can be hurtful to parents, and it might be one of the reasons why the questioner is having trouble changing their image. They might feel like if their image is poor, no one will look at them, so they don't have to worry about managing their marriage well. And they might think that if they don't manage their marriage well, they won't cause their parents any harm.

If the questioner has such an idea, it might be worth thinking about whether their parents would prefer them to get married and believe that they will do well in the marriage or not believe that they will do well in the marriage. If you can't find the answer, you can always ask your parents, and I'm sure they'll be happy to help.

As for changing one's image and clothing, the two are really quite complementary. Your personal image affects how you dress, and your dressing in turn affects your personal image, especially your body shape, which has a great impact on your personal image and dressing. If you're determined to change, I personally think that you can start with your body shape. If your body shape changes, then your personal image and dressing will also change.

At the end of the day, there are some tough things in this world. But it can be even scarier when someone is set on doing something, right? I truly believe that if someone is determined to do something well, God will open a way. And if you don't want to do it yourself but hope that things will get better, it might feel a bit like a crazy person's dream. But hey, we've all been there, right?

Dear friend, I can sense your struggle and pain. It's not uncommon for people to face their parents' expectations and concerns while feeling inadequate and stressed as they grow up. Your parents' concern and expectations for you come from their love and hope for you. They may not realize that these words have caused you stress.

Your feelings are understandable. It's natural to feel uneasy and frustrated when faced with a discrepancy between expectations and reality. Your efforts to understand their position also demonstrate your empathy and maturity.

In psychology, there is a concept called "self-efficacy," which refers to an individual's confidence in their ability to complete a task. It's possible that your feelings may be partly due to a lack of self-efficacy.

However, everyone's path to adulthood is unique, and it's important to remember that your future is in your hands. While your parents' marital status may have an impact on your view of marriage, there are many other factors that contribute to a happy marriage, including communication, understanding, and joint efforts.

With regard to your image and clothing, this may be an aspect of self-expression and self-acceptance. It is worth noting that self-acceptance plays an important role in personal mental health.

With time and practice, you can make these improvements. There are many ways to enhance your self-image, including understanding yourself better, finding a style that suits you, learning some basic matching skills, or trying out new styles.

It's important to remember that change and growth are processes, and there's no need to rush.

Regarding your parents, it's possible that their marital status may have influenced their views on marriage. However, this doesn't mean that you can't have a happy marriage. It's also possible that they may just be out of love and care for you, but everyone's marriage is unique. You can certainly learn from their experiences, but it's also important to believe in your ability to create a different and happy marriage.

It might also be helpful to express your feelings and needs. You could try to sit down with your parents and calmly express your feelings, letting them know that you understand their good intentions, but that you also need their support and understanding.

There are many resources and methods available to help you, whether it is to improve your self-image or to learn how to establish and maintain healthy relationships. You might also find it helpful to read some books on self-growth and marriage management. These are all effective ways to improve yourself and your life.

Consider taking the first step to make a change, whether it is communicating with your parents or improving yourself. You may find that every effort is worthwhile and will bring you closer to the life you want.

I believe you will find that you are stronger than you think.

It is important to recognize that every effort deserves to be seen, and every drop of sweat deserves to be respected. Feedback, attention, and praise serve not only as forms of recognition, but also as incentives.

This kind of feedback can be likened to spring rain nourishing our hearts, giving us more motivation to pursue excellence and create more value.

You might find it helpful to read "Self-Control" and "The Five Languages of Love."

Hello, I'm Gu Daoxifeng, your friendly heart exploration coach, also known as the skinny donkey.

We all have a little child inside us who wants to be recognized by our parents. Not being recognized can make us feel sad. I understand the questioner's feelings very well, so please, let me give you a big hug!

Forgiving others doesn't make you feel relaxed. It's only to make others feel at ease. Only when we really don't care about the comments will we not feel frustrated.

As the saying goes, "No path in life is wasted; every step counts." The questioner may be able to find meaningful parts of their past experiences.

When it comes to marriage,

It's totally normal to be influenced by our family of origin. We're all afraid of getting married, afraid that we'll be unhappy, and afraid that we'll be unable to manage the relationship well. But we can try to understand what unhappy marriages and happy marriages are like, and avoid unhappy ones, and move closer to happiness.

Life is a wonderful journey of learning, whether it's from our own experiences or from the experiences of others. Trying to adjust to a growth mindset can really help to make you feel more positive.

Let's talk about weight!

We all have different ideas about what's beautiful and what's healthy, don't we? When we try to see things from a more scientific point of view, it can help us to feel less emotional about other people's opinions and to focus on what's best for us.

It can be really helpful to set an upper and lower limit for your weight. This can help you feel less anxious and give you more control over your weight. Not only can this help you to prevent your weight from increasing too quickly, but it can also make losing weight feel less painful. For example, I set an upper and lower flexibility of 10 pounds for my weight. This means that no matter what I eat, I don't feel a psychological burden within this range. However, once I exceed this range, I know it's time to make some changes.

Let's talk about that feeling of failure.

It's so important to like your current image and weight! We all know that other people's opinions can affect our emotional experience, but it's really our own acceptance of ourselves that determines our sense of well-being.

As it says in "The Courage to Be Disliked," it's so important to remember that whoever is responsible for the final result is the one with the problem. Weight and influence management are actually the problem of the questioner. It's totally normal to feel that it is most important to be comfortable, and that's okay! Sometimes, trying to reconcile with yourself and accept your current situation can really help the questioner make better adjustments.

It can be really helpful to keep an emotional diary where you record what you're feeling and why. When we can see our emotions and the reasons behind them, it can help us make better adjustments.

Now, let's talk about taking action!

Take a moment to ask yourself why you don't want to manage your weight. Do you feel like you can't do it, or do you feel like it's still totally manageable? And do you like your current weight?

I once read something that really stuck with me: When we don't take action, it may be because we lack motivation and don't really want to do it.

Take a moment to think about why your wardrobe isn't improving as much as you'd like. Could it be because of your financial situation? Or is it because you prefer comfort and don't like to put on airs?

It's so important to understand your true thoughts. This will help you avoid any unreasonable self-negation.

Let's talk about success and failure.

It's so important to understand how we define success and failure on the inside. When we have quantifiable goals, it can really help to reduce emotional drain, make it easier to set corresponding small goals, get into action, and then gain a sense of accomplishment.

The questioner may want to try to understand why their parents are so accommodating every time. Maybe it's because they care but aren't very good at expressing it, or maybe it's because they're projecting their own reasons for unhappiness. Either way, trying to understand the motivation behind their parents' actions will make the questioner feel less sad.

I'd highly recommend reading "5% Change," "The Power of Empathy," and "The Courage to Be Disliked."

Wishing you all the best!

Parents often demand unreasonable things of their children in the name of what is good for them. We must learn to grow up on our own and develop the ability to discern and become financially independent.

We don't have to obey our parents.

The simple fact is that we are not independent enough. Whether it is financially or mentally, we are not yet able to stand on our own. In fact, we often need our parents' support. As the saying goes, with gain comes loss. When we receive some of our parents' gifts, it means that we also need to give something in return, and that return is often the expectations and demands of our parents.

If you want to break away from your parents' control, you have to be financially independent. When you can support yourself and take care of yourself without relying on your parents, you have a certain foundation. If you don't have financial security, you'll have to bow your head under the same roof. You need a certain source of income to protect yourself.

The second is the ability to deal with emotions on your own. When we have a certain economic foundation, we can learn to accept ourselves and distinguish between other people's advice and what we really need. We can also learn to tell the difference between what someone else thinks and what we truly want. For example, when it comes to clothing taste, everyone has different opinions. As long as the clothes are decent and you are comfortable in them, and as long as you are within a healthy range for weight, whether you are fat or thin, you will be fine.

Believe in yourself. It's difficult at the beginning, but you can do it. Life is like crossing a river with a pony. The same river will have different opinions for different people. You have to face it independently, take the first step, meet problems, solve problems, not worry when you fail, use resources around you, and find the best method for yourself.

I am Mo Xiaofan, a heart exploration coach. If you have any worries or need to talk about something, you can choose the heart exploration service on your personal page.

It's not about chasing after yourself in a blind way, but rather about learning how to truly love others and avoid or ease negative emotions.

To truly love others is to wish them happiness and to mentally accept, forgive, and forgive everyone, the outstanding, the ordinary people, including the weak. If there are mistakes or shortcomings, then they can be corrected. Everyone has the right to happiness, no matter how close or distant the relationship is, whether it is right or wrong, gain or loss. We all hope that others can be happy and get better and better. People can bring mutual comfort and even joy to each other. It is good to love and accept others and oneself, to tolerate shortcomings and lack of ability, and to be kind at heart. That is, to benefit others or society, not to dislike or reject ordinary people, not to be jealous or intolerant of outstanding people.

If you don't get along with most people, it can lead to negative energy and emotional problems. But don't worry! You can easily correct your energy field to find and have a loving and suitable relationship and career. You can also share and exchange what you see, hear, think, feel, or are interested in with others in real life and on the Internet, such as the Douban community.

And don't forget to love your life and be happy with the little things!

It's so important to take care of your body, because your physical health affects your mental health too. Treating yourself to a bit of self-care can be a great way to give your body a full-body massage. You can give your head a lovely head massage with deep, firm strokes, and you can also give your stomach a nice, firm massage with a massage brush. Just make sure you don't give your stomach a massage on an empty stomach, and then go for a walk.

If you're feeling negative emotions, thoughts, or behaviors, it can make you feel uncomfortable physically and mentally. You might find yourself around unhappy people and things, facing interpersonal conflicts, relationship and marriage problems (which can affect your magnetic field), and even problems in your academic or career life. This is because when you're too focused on yourself or your own interests, you can end up with a lot of negative energy. The more self-centered you are, the more your magnetic field might not be in sync with other people's. It's important to learn how to truly love others and adapt to people and things, correct your energy field, resolve conflicts, improve your emotions and interpersonal relationships, and better solve the above problems. In addition, if you know how to truly love the people and things in the world, you'll feel less attached to love, have fewer negative emotions like separation anxiety and pain, and feel more happiness inside. This can help make your life more fulfilling and meaningful.

If needed, they can also help those around them grow and change together.

Everyone is different, so excessive self-centeredness can manifest in different ways. It could be that you're motivated to pursue self-satisfaction, or you might be striving for self or repressing self-deprecation to please others. Maybe you blindly give in to gain something, or you're afraid of losing something. You might disregard the gains and losses of self-interest and emotions. If you're too narcissistic or inferior, you might pay too much attention to yourself. This could generate pressure and worry. You might have social phobia, or you might be caught up in your own emotions and thoughts. You might attach too much importance to what others think of you. You might not accept your own shortcomings and deficiencies. You might force yourself to be perfect. You might be obsessive, controlling, or possess others. You might force others to satisfy you. You might resent and be discontent. You might be unable to let go of yourself to forgive and forgive. You might brood.

If you only focus on yourself, you might find yourself feeling anxious, depressed, and tired. You might even find it difficult to adapt to the people and things in your school or workplace environment. But if you truly love others and adapt to people and things, you'll naturally look down on the self and restore positive energy.

In short, do your best, have good intentions, and treat others with kindness and respect because nobody wants to suffer.